B2 - Thomasville Times - Saturday, June 26, 2010
SPORTS
The best things in life are worth crying for
OFF THE PORCH
DICK JONES
Outdoor Columnist
The very best things
in life are intangible.
Things we own bring
us short term happiness
but really don’t mean
an5d;hing in our lives.
Money is only something
we can spend on things.
It’s true that we can give
money away but giving
the money doesn’t bring
us joy, the willingness to
give it away is the source
of the pleasure. It’s
relationships that make
our brief stint here on
Earth worth the trouble.
My oldest grandson,
Phoenix, has been one
of my best friends from
the beginning. Oiu:
relationship has some
times been a source of
frustration especially
during the “terrible
twos”. I resolved not to
spoil my grandchildren
and I haven’t. We do
things together, but I
don’t let them get away
with bad behavior. Phoe
nix was the first, and I
learned a lot from him.
When Phoenix was
three, he was riding in a
kid seat on the back of
my bicycle on the New
River Trail. The New
River. Tran is a 54-mile
long bike and walk
ing trail that begins in
Galax, Va. and ends in
Fries, Va. Phoenix and
I had covered about 10
miles out and were a
couple of miles into the
return trip to the truck.
He was tired and began
to complain. As is often
the case with three-year-
olds, he began to cry.
I patiently tried to
explain that crying
wouldn’t do any good.,
AU we could do was
peddle back to the truck
and his complaining and
crying woiildn’t help
us get there faster. AU
who’ve spent time with a
three year old know how
that didn’t work. I then
explained that, since he
felt crying would help, I
would join him and I be
gan to cry It wasn’t real
crying, it was the fake
crying kids learn to use
when they want some
thing. f had more experi
ence, though, and I cried
louder than him with a
pitiful snubbing inhale.
Within a minute, he
asked me to stop crying.
I slowly cut the crying
off and went back to the
business of peddling
us back the remaining
seven or eight mUes.
OccasionaUy, he would
begin to whimper and I
would start crying. He
would stop whimpering
and ask me to not cry.
I learned a lesson that
day When my grandkids
cry over something they
want, I cry with them.
To have a relation
ship with your kids and
grandkids, you have to
spend one on one time
with them. Phoenix and
I have fished, shot, kay
aked, hunted, camped,
traveled, snorkeled,
mined gems, and hiked
together. In the process,
I learned things about
him and he learned
about me. On a “School
is Out Celebration”
trip a few years ago, he
began the trip by using
his knowledge of me to
push my buttons. I’m not
going to teU you what
this entails, because
you might decide to use
the information against
me later, but he began
the trip by pushing my
buttons. It was clear
he intended to use his
new found power for the
duration of the trip. '
You can’t punish a
child for pushing your
buttons provided they
know how hard to push
and Phoenix was doing a
pretty good job of know
ing the limit. 1 devised
a plan and worked it. I
explained that I knew he
was pushing my buttons;
he innocently pro
claimed he had no idea
what I was talking about.
I explained that, since I
was the driver, I would
get to chose where we
would eat but if he could
manage to not push
my buttons between
meals, he could choose.'
He chose the restau
rant for every meal of
the whole three-day
trip. You couldn’t ask
for a better kid. Since
that time, this is our
standard traveling
procedure. If I especially
want to eat at a specific
restaurant, I ask and
my gracious grandson
almost always yields.
When Phoenix was
eight, I got him a
shotgun and he started
shooting; he showed real
promise. At some point,
he shot a gun that was
too big and the recoil
hurt him. He stopped
shooting the shotgun.
I backed off and didn’t
push. It took three years
to get him back on the
gun. It was hard not
to push too hard, but
I knew he had to want
to shoot to enjoy it and
if he didn’t enjoy it,
he’d never be a good
shooter. Eventually, he
asked to shoot again and
he’s doing fine now.
What I’m saying here
isn’t that I’m a great
grandparent or that I can
teU you how to deal with
your kids and grandkids.
What I’m saying is they
benefit from you being
consistent, patient, and
fair with them and they
will most likely make
the right decision if you
set a good example. If I’d
rushed Phoenix when he
quit shooting shotgun, I
might have turned him
off it for good. It had to
be something he wanted.
This week, a tree fell
across the driveway
and Phoenix helped
me clear up the mess.
He volunteered to help
and he worked hard in
See LIFE, Page B3
SHOCKED
From page B1
vis and Deon Thompson.
The two have since an
nounced they will be at
tending UCLA in the fall
where they will sit out a
year per NCAA rules.
“It hurts because I lost
two kids that I really
enjoyed [and] it hurts
because we lost two kids
who were really going to
be important to our pro
gram,” Williams said. “I
had also
decided
not to re
cruit a big
man in
the class
behind
them be
cause I
didn’t
want to
over-re
cruit, so
we lost
two guys
out of that class and we
didn’t have anybody be
hind them. So I haven’t
dealt with it very well
personally or for our
program.”
So just how wounded
is Williams about the
Wears decision?
When a reporter start
ed to ask a third straight
question about the twins
at the start of the press
conference, Williams
apologized for interrupt
ing but had said he had
enough.
“Let’s talk about the
players in our program,”
Williams said. “It’s kind
of like in a game when
you’re mad at people
that don’t show up, you
better be happy about
'It hurts because we
lost two kids who
were really going to
be important to our
program.'
— Roy Williams
UNC head coach
the ones that do show
up. I apologize for cut
ting you off but that’s all
I’m talking about that.”
But Williams is still
waiting for one of those
players in his program
to arrive. Justin Knox,
a 6-9, 240-pound transfer
from Alabama, will not
join the Tar Heels until
he finishes his under
graduate requirements
in Tuscaloosa, Ala.,
this summer. The expe
rienced big man — 6.3
points, 3.7 rebounds in
19.8 minutes last season
— is ex
pected to
help fill
the void
left by the
Wears’ de
parture.
“He has
an op
portunity
to be ex
tremely
important
and not
just be a
guy standing over there
clapping, so I don’t see
any negatives myself,”
Williams said.
Williams said imme
diately after he found
out the Wears would be
transferring, the entire
UNC coaching staff be
gan trying to find some
players to fill out the
frontcourt. He said they
identified six or seven
possible players but
were fortunate to land
Knox in the end.
“He’s a wonderful kid,”
Williams said. “He has
experience, he has size
and he’s played in big
arenas and in big games.
We have a tremendous
need. “
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