Newspapers / The Little Clipper (Rocky … / March 10, 1886, edition 1 / Page 1
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/ y \tCf 07/ Ll7r THE LITTLE CLIPPER J^r,a.S5" tipiTth VOLI-NO. 35. “Hew to The Line, Let The Chips Pall Where They May/’ ROCKY MOUNT, N. C., WED., MARCH (0, 1886. Price, 35 cts Per Year, The Young Widow, IJY HOISKHT .lOyLY-N. She is nuxlost, but not bashful. Free and easy, but not bold. Like an apple, ripe and mellow. Not too young and not too old; Half inviting, half repulsive, Now advancing, and now shy. There is mischief in her diniph\ TIum c is danger in her eye. She has studied human natui-e; She is schooled in all her arts; She lias taken her diploma, As the mistress ot all hearts. She can tell the very moment When to sigh and when to smile; (), a maid is sometimes charming, Hut a widow, all the while. Art; you sad? how very sei ious Will her handsome face become; Are you angry? she is wretched, Lonely, friendless, tearful, dumb; Are you mivthful? how her laughter, Silver-sounding, will ring out, She can lure and catch and play you, As the angler does the trout.* Ye old bacheloi’s of forty, .so hald and wise; Young Americans of twenty, ■\Vith the iove-look in your eyes, Vt)ii may practice all the lessons. Taught by Cupid since the fall. But I know a little widow, Who could win and fool you all. A Puzzler. A Saundersville schooltnrJ lately puzzle'd her te5iy;'her witli the inquiry: ‘•if the cildest child of aii English j n.iler snceeeds to tlie tlirone, wliat ! would happen if oldest cl’.ild was I twins?’’ The rirl wms \'(M'v uiucli surprisjed at the teacher’s in:;b;iitv to aiiswer off-hand, and tried to find out from her itiotJier. but the (piestiori still airitates the village. - Worcester (Mass.) Spy. Lying Too Far Apart. Ill a hunter’s camp diiTerent men began to iirifoltl thv^ir yarns. Among otliers a Kentuckian said he once shot a buck in such a wav that tlie bul!*t, hittinof the right ear. passed tlirongh the heel of the right hind foot. Jeering and laughter greeted I this monstrous story. I -'Brown,calle.l the Kentuckian tc^ : iiis coTinsrtUi):i, • ibo t’. . . ' .. y'. 1 what 1 say is not as true as gospel.’’ I •'•Why^ yes,’’ rej)lied the othc^r, “i j sa w it myself. You see, gentlemen, ! when he pulled the trigger of his rifl(\ the buck was just scratching : Iris heiid with his hoof.’’ Then he Some Americanisms. Tiu' Xew York 'rrihnne calls at tention to tlie fact that Xcnv England pape s are v('ry fond of pti^fixing tiie profession oi- calling to a name in a way that is sometimes rather amusing. ; it will n't be long before the'' will ■contain something like this; As "failor Shears was walking alono- th(^ ;sti’(^‘; the other d-ty he was assaulted j by Ditclier Do'\ who had got full in ; Saloonkeeper Ginsling’s |>lace along I witli Painter Chromo. Th«' assault j was witnessed by Druggist Mixem. ; eaver Plax, Gardner .Spring, \V(3d- ! chopper Jones and I’eamster \Y!>ij). ! T.-iilor Sh(‘ars was taken to the h(mse j oi Rector Ritual, which was near at I hand, and Ditcher Doe was marched j off by Constable Clubber, .••ided ov I j^d;i(*ksniith Sledge and Poyjt Ffo-h^ I 1-Jggor ])c>re. Law’yer Brit'f will I defend him. When He Gets Round. T ,* ■ whisp:>red to his friend; ‘-That was , 1 notice that; t . i i » I. , a narrtw escape. Another timcMion t Wife -'■‘John, dear, yonr brother Jan es never makes a upon us unless he is •a[)e. lie so far apart.’’ Providence And Quails. friendly call intoxicated,” ITusl)and “No, my dear, be doesn't | James reminds me of the moon.” I c.^hey were discussing in the II- VV ife ‘‘Remnuls you of the moon. | legislature,” said a gentleman Husband \ es, dear; he ne'^er gets | Springfield, bill to prevent round till he’s full. - -Boston (..ourier. destniotion of quail for three Don’t Do It. I Speeches of various sorts j were made. One farmer advanced Bill Nye says: ‘■‘Don’t attempt to | the suggestion that there were too cheat an" editor out of a year’s sub-i many quail. If they*should be pre scription to his p iper or any other! served for three years they would sum. (^heat th-. minister, cheat the | eat up all the crops. Then up rose doctor, cheat anybody and everybody, ! an honest Granger, who had not but if y(.u have any regard for^future j opened his mouth b('fon% with this c;onse(pien{^es don’t fool with an I valuable contribution to natural his- (*ditor. You will be up for office ; tory, delivered in a (b’awling, s|ueak- some time, or want some public favor ; lngv(^i{-e: '■•Mr. Cheerman, I’ve lived for yourself or S(3mo of your friends, j in Tllinoy, man and boy, for forty and’ when your luck is a thing of ' years. Enduring all of which time beauty and a joy forever, the editor ' I’ve follered agricultooral pnrsoots will open you and knock your air | ex.'*eptin’ for seven yf ars, wlien 1 w'as castle into a cocked hat the hrst hre. i a-runnin’ of a saw-mill, and I have ol)sarved this aliout quail: When- V%l! 4.C! A story is told of ('olonel RclxMt (i. Irigtn-soll to show that, when he livvul in Peroria, Illinois, he belived in a much-talked-of-subterranian re gion. whose existence he has siiice vc'hemently discredited. He was e.n- gaged as counsel by a ipretty and at- .tractive widow who had a claim against a corporation, which it would nor ])ay. For the company appeared Jonathan Cooper, an able lawyer and . a devout Presbyterian. During'I'us Uir gnmeiit he referred to the Colonel ^ as often unreasonable, on ac(*ount of his sympathy, charming Avonien ai- way! arousivg his chivalry to such an extent afi to make him unniindftd of sound law. Ingersoll, in reply, admitted his sincere admiration yf j the sex, whether as maidens, wives, j or mothers, and declared that be had jratln^r sit on a bench in Hades, talk- i ing to a pretty woman for fifteen minutes than stay forever in Jonathan Cooi)er’s heaven, singing psalms and [ihiv a c(destial banjo. This raised the laugh Oil Cooper, who joine«l in it himself, and the decision of the jurv was (riven in favor of the widow. He’ll subdue you and then you cuss y(^irself for a drivling idiot, go; ever there ami iiire some one to knock you ; good Lord dnvn. and then kick you for falling.’’i That settled it.”- l^hila. Record. quail: ; too many quail, the He fn-ezes them out. 1'he young lady who l)ites her fin ger nails and kisses her pug dog on the nose would fall in a ston>^ faint at se(dng her father nip a piece c>ff th(' butter lump with his. own knift^.
The Little Clipper (Rocky Mount, N.C.)
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March 10, 1886, edition 1
1
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