-THE BARRACKS WHEEZE" By 1st Clan Private CHBT SHAKER 'F" 77"1?5S3|| (American Expeditionary Force, w?>^|^yjseJ Somewhere In France) After he'd been out five -days and had ZSHHHII suffered a sharp touch of sickness. //MffZfa Ethclbert, from Obo, Wis., declared: / y/ovrj -ft's 0l,iy thirty-five miles across up in /j\ A I the Behring Strait. And. take it serimvf/t\n^M ously from this little soldier of DemocvP/ ' %V i raO'? that's the uay I'm going back." i 'mi oh: kor av ,8LAXI>: I il I Edward was vainly endeavoring to ^ I ca'cb a snatch of beaut'f sleep that he M S?' 3:dn t Know unci he -emtim ao utin i/ Af <;t>/ it. Ilis hammock was strung be| twcen the mast and the raft deck. The BA moon had been obscured by a cloud. As kf tossed he heard a familiar sound bejahxJk.Vomr one was running. And then. ^tefbhe splash of the zcai es against the | tide, he heard the guard shout, in deep _.m I "Sot ou the rail. I said. Over the And Edward knew that he was still on his way overseas and that another luckless youth frqm the interior was getting acquainted with seafaring j JglpSgffffi One of the deckhands remarked on :i day when the sea yens running | "Don't inind this. This ain't nothl *n'? When it get m?'s the crow's nest dips water on the curve* then you're in rough weather." THE FELLOW WHO USED TO WISH HE HAD A DISCHARGE FROM THE ARMY SOW ASKS FOR A LAS DISC SET. For most of them it was a maiden voyage. AND NONE OK THKM WANTED TO DIE IN TRANSIT. v ~ Oh! to be back to old terra cotta ~ I again. # Note: A school of sharks fol -r lowed the boat until the cook threw a pail of the stew over the side. Then the sharks disappeared. k&pHpMikq And no matter how far down in SyJLJCJfJfy the hold you get. you're within heardistance of the bugle. In the third-claas quarters Willie "I took time to remark : ' "They didn't bring my mules along because they didn't have good enough accommodations for them." mm/l "prior to this date." the ohio yol'th wrote. "7 was saprwilp rery fosd of food." ' I Anders gets the brassards for the best pub. \ sixth day tripe was served. "N Immediately after the meal he ap Pearetl on deck and declared inai ne ^d been promoted, ft* ' 'iavc been given my flrs' tripe in flV-{ VtoA\v| the army," he said. later ox, it is understood, ivrt his body was picked up by a vlk^jpi passing trawler. ^ur 'dea a P?or entertainer on j / ^ - shipboard is the buzzard who picks! 'itt'ifi ^Ijryv "P a piece of rope, unsuccessfully attempts to tie a series of difficult knots 1 W\ . like a friend of his who spent a sumr^r^Slx * & mer in the west and kRew them *11. ' i\ and the.n winds UP each fruitless endeavor "with the remark: fwT _ jT ^ "Well, you get the general idea, "It yon are torpedoed," the officer K * "do not smoke on the raft, i \v~-3 Tr&ndl Yon might be retorpedoed." When you get so you remember your\ lA TovuMKa life Preserver like you once retnetnbcredl kRMfM your breeckts in civil life, then you ore f beginning to be a regular soldier. Imm n makkh k tr,p -soMKI W/WM THING ijkr a honeymoon. the prkhervkr is with you alirs. <2l3ri too prodigal -WMiIm Investigation of the high cost of KgDHaapl everything soldiers buy in Prance has y disclosed the fact that the American I fighting men are "too prodigal" and .-n I I will pay any price for what they want A I when they want it. Efforts are being made by the American and French ' \ ? governments to curb the vaulting of ] B ?? prices, tbe rormer by urging tne Yanks to be more economical and the latter by exercising a rigid regulation Hi sJn over prices. "vKJI - WOMEN CHAINED TO GUNS That the Germans are now using women to feed their machine guns and that the women are chained to 2C /^, ^ the guns they are forced to serve is one ot 1110 discOTerie8 made by Amerlean soldiers fighting along the west"rnfronL3 _ TRENCH A | r/ffi'sor .mi Veterans of the Civil War, with few exceptions, preserved souvenirs of the great conflict and hung them in their homes to serve as permanent reminders of the stirring days of the early sixties. It is probable that the same custom will be observed when America and her allies put the final polish on the job of bringing Germany to her senses. The collection of souvenirs will be the most interesting ever assembled in the tjnited States. It will range from captured iron crosses to odds and ends picxecrup in Hernn. a conspicuous position on the list of curio3 will'be occupied by a plain, inconspicuous fountain' pen that te the personal property of Major F. L. Devereaox, Hiief of the Requirements Branch, Quartermaster Corps of the army. When victory perches on the American colors, Major Devereaux says, he plans to hang that peaceful weapon in his rooip, under his commission. It will take'the place of the sword that he could not wear, because his superiors, indorsing the old proverb, consider?*} his men mightier than any sword. It will be decorated with an inscription, to read: "The Fountain Pen That Cost the American Government Six Billion Dollars a Year." There will be no exaggeration in this impressive capfion. Major Devereaux, during his administration as head of the Requirements Branch, has signed away considerably more than six billion dollars to bring into existence the twenty-five thousand different articles required by the United States army here and in France. And the impressive feature of this interesting fact is that practically all of this vast sum of money has been devoted to the comfort and health of the men fighting for the Stars and Stripes. No other military organiza05 Fi?HT/N6r ? ftp Willi*?.To \Qv "fofcotCH- Mm J jo st sols we can \ To tie* mc} KA>3Ei1^ ? ^ ^ " ?* -4 J- I V ** "" ^ V ' ^ J ur >/n J- Q*K?m ook?of the sort. ~ "Send us everything you can luy your hands op? on boxing, baseball, tennis and all other sports, professional and amateur" is the order just received by the despatch office of the American Library Association at Hoboken, N. J. ;v The association is pledged to furnish the soldiers, sailors and marines with any book that is asked for, and sporting annuals will be no exception. "We're bad a lei of calls for Hoyle," said one of the association's librarians' In one of the big southern camps, "and I suspect that a weighty decision of the question 'Who wins?* was Banging in the balance. The boys got their Hoyle and the question undoubtedly was answered to their entire satisfaction." I ! Fe LiffiS MsJL )UNTAmPEmm' leather In hia shoes. Hie stocj ' JRI underwear, shirt, breeches, spiral puttees, cloves, overeoeth'fjM cap will be made of wool, soma ? which has traveled around the world, to reach General Pershlngir>nj^^^H via the factories In the United SMH The American Government fcadvB into the woolen business on a eelfl scale. It has taken over the output of this country and Is IttM ing giant stocks from Australiatf^H the Argentine Republic. - ' ~i8p| Major Devereaux's pen has hdfl^| driven at top speed to keep pace wfflfl the tremendous gTowth of the Am lean avmw during the laM months. The QuartermaaUrCH^^K was pat under a severe-atfnln l am months ago when the Oorernm decided to Increase its foaMri^H at a rate of almost a quajK lion mdn a month. The wsijj^J|rJ Branch was forced to dlseakSn^^HErj istlng'plans for the outflttiaa^^^HBfl American expeditionary forces W^Kj I this new schedule went late 'fjjHLI. I Vast supplies of sun^MQajj^^HH clothing were rushed serosa lantlc to anticipate the needs of Qe* eral Pershing's men. And before ill call for summer uniforms and aM*K/n sories was entirely met, it bMjjififjf] necessary to start shipments Sf n^Hlj winter wearfri^ apparel. It is not surprising, therafora^^Hji I Major Deverepnx's overworked aH tain pen has rolled np a total dfdH than six billion dollars. United States army goes a knew Ave million mark, the coat H the soldiers comfortable Is IdHfTW' I duplicate the last year's azppMn l every three mbaths. ^3 SOS . [ I Wasting today may onng unmna. row's defeat. Saving today wttl krtM 1 victory complete. '.fflJ I I "