Thursday, March 14, 1935
EGAB]
By ALAN BROWNING, Jr.
yChere are a number of subjects we don't want to write
about this week that we are not going to write about. . . Spring's
in the air but don't blame us if it's snowing when this hits print.
. . We feel sort of sulphur and molassesly and it's going to be a
long hard job getting to the end of this thing. . .
Simpson popped in a few minutes ago with the information
that he knows only two songs. One of them is Yankee Doodle
and the other isn't. . . A person who reads a great deal learns
many queer facts. For instance, among the Ihopa of Sikken
(in Tibet), it is customary to eat the bride's mother-in-law at
the wedding feast. . . Imagine a'
prospective groom telling his be
loved: "Soon as mother gets fat
we'll get hitch." ... No sane groom
would want to make the mistake of
serving a skinny mother for din
ner. . .
There's a certain person in this
town who writes so badly that every
Radio Service
BY AN EXPERT
RADIO SERVICE MAN
Complete Line of Tubes and Parts
REICH HAYES BOREN
. (Incorporated)
PHONE 70 ELKIN, N. C.
UTTLE WILBUR'S ALL
BECAUSE HE'S IN A COOL SPOT
No one can truthfully say that Little Wilbur doesn't enjoy taking •
bath. Not Little Wilbur—for when the water'* warm he splashes
around like a duck in a pond. Right now the water's 000l —too
oooi—and Wilbur is righteously wrathful. What to do about itP .. •
INVESTIGATE OUR NEW LOW RATE FOR
ELECTRIC WATER HEATING
Our New Rate, now in effect, brings the cost of Auto
mata Electric Hot Water Service within the reach of
every home.
Imagine the CONVENIENCE of this service! It means
an adequate supply of piping hot water available
every hour of every day in the year at the TURN OF
A FAUCET. Plenty of HOT Water for Baby's Bath;
For Dad's Shave; for the laundry; and for all uses.
THE COST IS REASONABLE. Phone us today and
let us tell you how this new service can be applied to
YOUR Home. And how you may have a new Hot
point Automatic Electric Heater installed for only a
few dollars down, the balance in easy monthly pay
ments with your electric service statement.
/
Economical Labor Saving
Convenient Dependable
Southern Public Utilities Co.
SPRING FEVER
time he writes a note of dismissal
to one of the hired help, the person
fired uses it as a letter of recom
mendation in securing another job.
. . We don't know how much truth
there's in it, but we've heard that a
local attorney was once making such
a dull address to a jury that a boy
in a window of the courtroom went
THE ELKIN TRIBITNfe, ELKIN, NORTH CAROLINA
to sleep and fell to the floor, hurt
ing himself badly. Thereupon the
lawyer was indicted and charged
with "wilful assault with a long dull
instrument—to-wit: a speech."
Simpson is in the market for a
bookcase. . . We understand he has
a book already. . . Speaking of
frankness, when we were selling
that "March to Church During
March" page ad. the other week,
one prospective advertiser refused to
attach his name for the simple
reason he doesn't go to church and
he was afraid someone might advise
him to "practice what you preach."
Ho hum. . . Didja see the demon
stration of the new fire truck here
last week. . . Without it the fire
men had pressure enough to squirt
water almost across the street . . .
With it they had pressure which
required six men to hold the hose
nozzle. . . The. only drawback we
can see to such a truck here is the
fact that it generates such water
pressure that a burning house would
be knocked over when the water
was turned on it. . .
The truck was equipped with a
200 gallon tank and small pressure
hose sufficient in itself to put out
a fire that had not gained too
much headway, without bothering
to hitch on to a hydrant. . . It was
a fine demonstration and everybody
was impressed; still, they say, it
takes money to buy such equipment.
. . Three thousand dollars is a lot
of money, yet a fire, in a few hours
time, can do ten times that much
damage if not checked. . . and El
kin doesn't have a fire truck. . . it's
merely a hose hauler. . .
Oh well, Rome wasn't built in a
day. But they do say it burned
down over night. . .
The town commissioners are in
terested in finding out the cost of
numbering houses here now that
streets have been marked . . . Some
hope is held out for a new federal
building and postoffice. . . which
should, eventually, mean mail de
livery service for Elkin. . .
There are three types of folks:
Those who don't kid and don't like
to be kidded, those who like to kid
and don't mind being kidded in re
turn, and those who delight in kid
ding but get awful sore if kidded
themselves. . . The latter class
makes life unpleasant for lots of
people . . . and should get wise to
themselves. . .
We remember the fellow who
kidded everybody at every oppor
tunity. Let the joke be on the other
fellow and it tickled him to death.
Yet, when we (meaning several jof
us), poured a nickel's worth of pow
dered alum in his bottle of pop he
flew into a rage and no doubt
would have done some tall cussing
if his mouth hadn't been drawn up
as if by a gee string. . .
He swore later that the alum
made him sick for several days. . .
but it shouldn't have. It was the
very highest grade alum that could
be bought—for five cents . . .
It is with considerable pride that
we announce the Gab Bag was read
by nine people last week. . . One
subscriber read it twice in an un
successful effort to find any sense
or reason in it . . . The ninth reader
—a new one—asked that his name
not be made public inasmuch as hQ
has his reputation to consider. . .
So far, from the time we began,
we've spent only one hour and 22
minutes in getting this far. . . If
bacon keeps going higher, we're go
ing to quit eating it and switch to
something fairly reasonable, like
chicken. . . Everything seems to be
headed upward but wages. . .
Note to other poor devils who
have to mix paste for mailers: An
egg beater of the mechanical kind
will mix the paste to the proper
consistency in a very brief time,
leaving it lumpless and of even tex
ture. . % Two minutes with an egg
beater is worth 30 minutes of stir
ring and produces perfect results . . .
or did you already know that? . . .
Dixie Graham, chief of police,
city tax collector, what not and et
cetera, is looking around for a few
more titles. If you see any stray
ones, kindly advise. . .
Thank you.
"Are you engaged to him?"
"Yes," answered the prudent girl.
"But I have requested time to verify
reports on his title and fortune."
"That is not an engagement. That
is an option."
ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE
Having qualified as Administra
tors of the estate of Qlen H. Church,
deceased, this is to notify all per
sons holding claims against said es
tate to present them to either of
the undersigned administrators, with
in twelve months from date hereof,
or this notice will be plead in bar of
recovery. Persons owing, the estate
will please make prompt settlement.
This the 18th day of February,
1935.
R. L. CHURCH, Administrator
of Estate of Olen H. Church.
Earl C. James, Attorney
Elkin, N. C. 3-28
Royster Guano Comp'y
Observing Anniversary
Started at Tarboro, North Caro
lina, the F. S. Royster Guano com
pany, of Norfolk, Va., is this year
celebrating' its 50th anniversary.
The company was started by F. S.
Royster in 1885, and for ten years
all the fertilizers manufactured by
the company was made at Tarboro.
At this time the demand for Roy
ster goods had increased so rapidly
that it became necessary to build a
much larger plant. Norfolk being
the nearest port, it was only natur
al that the Virginia city should be
selected as the sits of the new plant.
This, however, was only the begin
ning of Royster growth, for so rap
idly did the demand for Royster
Fertilizers spread that factories
were soon built throughout the
South—in South Carolina, Georgia,
Alabama and Mississippi in addi
tion to those in Virginia and North
Carolina. And then further demand
required modern plants at Balti
more, Maryland, and as far west as
Toledo, Ohio.
The success of the Royster Com
pany has been phenomenal; it is
one of the South's outstanding in
stitutions in whose success the en
tire South should take great pride.
Among the best things that can be
said is that it is one of the feft
large concerns which has never
changed hands and is now owned
I FRESH TENNESSEE MULESI
I M For Sale or Exchange!
Just received another car of 27 fresh mules. Also a fine variety of I
good second hand mules and horses carried on hand at all times. 38 I
head to select from. If you need mules I can suit you and save you I
money. Each and every mule guaranteed as represented.
Mr. J. B. McCreary, experienced mule man, is employed at our stables I
M to assist in filling yo'ir wants
I JMMfe C. A. BOLES, Winston-Salem, N. C. I
I VHBV Stables N. Trade St., next to Planter's Warehouse
HudAcm Smn/JuzA
7 WORLD RECORDS AT DAYTONA!
MM |
"Sir Malcolm Campbell at wheel of record-breaking Hudson equipped with Electric Hand
SIR MALCOLM CAMPBELL
PROVES PERFORMANCE AND RUGGEPNESS IN
• STOCK MODEL SEDAN * E RE M C &'2
Again Hudson gives you troof of power, per- i«D n t^.B n d..FU..F.t. lUm
formance, ruggedness—instead of claims.
Speed —nearly a mile and a half a minute! Accel - i- m ße 86.29 88.2028
eration and lightning fast shifting with the
Electric Hand—a mile at 68.18 m.p.h. from a n»ta««t*t)
standing start! Ruggedness—* record in second 5-miie 86-237 88i»l
gear at more than 70 m.p.h.—"most savage pun- _ , fcruTrnT 56J57 88.105
ishment I ever gave a car," said the driver. 6^ lg
Remember, a stock Hudson sedan set these
records—a car picked at random from a dealer s r" aaty)
showroom by A.A.A. officials. Come in and see l-Mto— tw 7UI»
its duplicate. And, by all means, drive it before **** "* I
you decide on any car. jg p R|CES f
THE ELECTRIC HAND . . . Easier, safer driving aud up for Hud to* Sit
®. . . faster, smoother shifting, with both hands (93 or 100 kontpowtr)
always on the wheel. An exclusive feature, stand- ... H udtou Eight f76oa»d
ard on Hudson Custom Eights; optional (for V W up(U3orl2lkors*power).
small amount extra) on all other 1935 Hudsons. Allpriaf. o. b. Detroit for cloud model,.
Elkin Supply Company
South Bridge Street Elkin, N. C.
TUNB IN ON HUDSON "NEW STAR RBVUE" featuring Kate Smith—Every Monday evening at 8:30 F.S.T.,
7:30 C.S.T.. 9:30 M.S.T.. 8:30 P.S.T.-Columbia Broadoaating Syatem
and operated by the same people
who started the business fifty
years ago. This is most unusual,
and Is responsible for the outstand
ing reputation of this company.
Eight billionths of an ounce of.
radium in a pound of bath salts is
too n uch radium for safety, the Fed
eral Pood and Drug Administration
ruled, in banning a shipment of
medicinal bath salts from France.
■ {Below) "RUNNING A
HOME uses up eaergy.
How quickly a Camel re
turns my peace of mind!
And Camels are so mild!"
R (Signad) MRS. ROSS KELLEY
{Above) "I SMOKE CAMELS a lot.
Camels help in easing strain and