WEATHER
SEE BLUM'S ALMANAC
Their Guess Is As Good As
Ours
VOL. L No. 6%
Advice
m i r Lovelorn
\ 4) Miss Sodee Biskett
*■ - , Love Specialist
Dear Miss Biskett:
My husband and I were married abput five years ago
and we got along beautifully together until about six months
ago when he started eating crackers in bed. This makes it
very uncomfortable for me. What should I do?
ANXIOUS.
Dear Anxious:
Change the sheets and hide the cracker box.
* * * »
Dear Miss Biskett:
For the past year I have been afflicted with my wife's
mother, who comes to see us only twice a year and makes
LONRY?
[ J JY Do You Want
a Nice,
s i'ts)J Pleasant
/N~U Wife Like
PZZJ 111187
Then Write
MISS
SODEE BISKETT
She'll Advise You!
\
Are you seeking a wife ... a
husband? Then write at once
to Miss Sodee Biskett. Shell
look around and see if she
can't find you one. In writing 1 ,
please specify the type yon
want, whether thin, tall, flat,
lean or bald. All are guaran
teed.
M C DANIEL'S
Advice Department
1 BOUGHT THIS FINE \ A
CAR WITH A
MY SAVINGS AT
McDANIEL'S" zMUI
READ THIS TESTIMONIAL BY A
M C DANIEL'S CUSTOMER
McDaniel's takes great pleasure in presenting the
following letter from Mr. Sniffie Froghop, who, with
savings made by trading at McDaniel's, was able to
make the down payment on this modern up-to-date,
six cylinder, super deluxe Chug-an-go automobile,
equipped with all modern inconveniences, including
drafty ventilation, vibration steering and no action.
Mr. Froghop's letter follows:
McDaniel's Dept. Store,
Elkin, N. C.
Dear Sir:
I finally got home.
Yours very truly,
SNIFFIE FROGHOP.
YOU TOO, CAN SAVE AT
McDANIEL'S
Department Store
Elkin, N. C.
McDANIEL'S AD-O-LAFF NEWS
•visits of six months each. I didn't
mind her taking my easy chair,
but when she started peeling
onions with my razor and using
my best pipe for a tack hammer,
it was too much* How can I get
rid of her.
DESTITUTE.
Dear Destitute:
Mothers-in-law, like death and
taxes, some of us have with us al
ways. However, in your case, we'd
advise you to buy a paring knife
and a tack hammer. ' If this fails
you might try rat poison.
• • *
Dear Miss Biskett :
My wife is one of these women
who act first and ask questions
later—when I come to. Here of
late she has been treating me
dreadfully so that in self defense
I have taken to committing petty
crimes and going to jail for short
terms, where it Is more pleasant
than in my own home. However,
my wife continues to treat me
meaner than ever. What shall I
do?
DESPAIR.
Dear Despair:
Shoot somebody and get a life
sentence.
THE ELKir: TRIBUNE, ELK IN. NORTH CAROLINA
Published For the Entertainment of McDaniel's Customers
EDITORIAL
With this issue of the Mc-
Daniel's Ad-O-Laff News, we
are presenting a new idea in
advertising:, an idea back of
which is the desire to entertain
as well as call your attention to
the many real and desirable
items of merchandise always to
be found in our large store.
In radio advertising, the spon-'
sors always seek to entertain,
with radio messages sand
wiched in between opera sing
ers, comedians, popular music,
etc. This page is our effort at
adapting a radio type program
to newspaper print.
We hope the foolishness to be
found in the Ad-O-Laff News
may bring you enjoyment, and
that you will read as well the
large advertisement in the lower
right corner of this page which
really brings you. important
news of worthwhile savings to
be found at our store.
Scientific Problem
of the Week
top stand y °
The scientific problem for to
day: "Why does a Spinning Top
Stand?" is indeed of a very puz
zling nature. To the casual ob
server, it would seem that a spin
ning top could just as easily sit
down, but all the best scientific
minds are agreed that this never
happens.
It may be that a spinning top
had rather stand than sit down,
but the fact that it is turning
around very rapidly probably has
an influence of a purely elemen
tary nature which, aided by cen
trifugal force, prevents a sitting
posture.
However, it can be said with
certainty that a spinning, top,
■once it has, through friction; with
the air, ceased to spin, usually
lays down. Whether it lays down
to rest or just through the prin
ciple of the thing, has not yet
been determined.
Best minds have been working
on the problem for more than a
century, and It is thought that
I sometime within the near future
a plausible answer may be given,
especially when it is taken into
consideration that a spinning top
when it slows down, begins to
weave.
Anyone wishing other puzzling
problems explained should address
"Scientific Problem of the Week"
department. t
MDANIEL'S
IS THE ONLY ELKIN
STORE OFFERING
FREE HEARSE v
SERVICE TO
CUSTOMERS
TICKLED TO
DEATH
With Our Values!
What other store provides
such excellent service as
this? However, all custo
mers wishing to ride in this
comfortable coach are urged
to get their applications in
early. Note: We never
make return trips.
_ M C DANIEL'S
DEPARTMENT
STORE
ELKIN, N. C h FEBRUARY 4, 1937
SOCIETY
NEWS
I
MRS. J. PIFFLE WHIFFLE
Ad-O-Laff Society Editor
Miss Sadie Slurp Becomes Bride
of Mr. Alton J. Bugtussle
In a beautiful ceremony enliv
ened by the fall of the bride's
father down the basement stairs
Miss Sadie Slurp Thursday after
noon became the blushing bride
of Mr. Alton J. Bugtussle, of the
Bugtussle Bugtussles. Rev. Pas
chall O. Tyem, former pastor of
the bride, officiated.
The home was elaborately dec
orated with ragweed and honey
All Foolishness Aside...
Don't Fail To See The New Spring Ready-to-Wear
FOR WOMEN FOR MEN
■mgfdgy' Ladies' Spring • Men's Spring
Sweaters Here's real news for men. A
ril • _ terns. Overplaids, stripes
,->*&repi. * and checks. Single and dou
new styles and colors, too! $14.75 to $16.75
skirts, and the new pastel i-Men's New Spring
ffSM Cl QC End C 9 QC orey t and blue mixtures, IShf!BJtllil
r V «Pl»vO tp/Li**/0 pasted Lightweights. Real
Dress Lengths si. $2.% mmm
■Hii New dress lengths of silk crepe l\/TT?XT'C QIJAPC
MM,' in lovely spring patterns. We f© tig a large
^ en at *t Wry *ral
01 TITO stock of Weyenberg M as
ps/ VS&i I \ sagic Magic Sole shoes fOr f|||ft|J
j> /Y| I UWIIU men. Watch our windows K|||& raj&gli
J ( \ 1 Beautiful suits for ladies in this WBek /r» iaq .
Hi l\ short and three-quarter length «p4»«/0
\V|' coats. Of course they are the ""
til vcr :;: e " -& w - and Ritz Shirts
Wfc . t|)4.jO SZ4.JD Here are real buys in shirts. Mr. Man. E. &W. and RITZ
' shirts in newest patterns and colors, including white. Non-
TT _ . 7 1 n.ii «. Starch collars. You should have at least a dozen of these fine
New Printed Silk Dresses shirts. Think what yo un save!
We want you to see this lovely group of printed dresses as no \\t t>tt*7
soon as possible. After wearing winter clothes so long, you'll OS "• — « xvl 1 It —:
revel in these beautiful styles and colors. - _ . _ _ . A
$2.98 *> $14.95 98' $1.49 »" $1.95
1 I 1 " t 1
What's ta SeC our NeW ° f Sample's
' er f^ t ' c ? me , vislt 118 and Bee t° r yourself. Beautiful Por you who want tailored suits, made to measure for a sure,
new styles, shapes, snug flt , be sure to see the new line of Spring samples. Come
\ 1 C|X to \S MS in today and ask to see them. Well measure you and get
$l.*FO $0.30 your order right off.
McDaniel's Dept. Store
ELKIN, N. C.
suckle on account of Mr. Slurp,
the bride's father, figuring these
wild flowers less expensive.
Miss Opie Squall, changing rec
ords on the Victrola, rendered the
wedding music, playing "O Prom
ise Me," and although the record
was cracked, no one noticed it
due to the hiccoughs of Mr.
Slurp.
The* bride was beautifully dress
ed in a long flowing dress she had
brought home on approval from
McDaniel's which was topped off
with her mother's best window
curtains in form of a train.
Following the ceremony the
happy couple departed in Mr.
Slurp's car for a honeymoon de
signed to last as long as the
twenty-five dollars the groom bor
rowed from the bride's father
holds out. The couple will then
be at home to their creditors at
36 Grump street, Bugtussle, N. C.
LOCALS
Alton Tweet, of Frogtown, spent
the week-end a guest of his
brother-in-law, Snokie Sapp. He
failed to get the loan.
A half dozen knives and forks
and three dining room chairs,
property of Mr. and Mrs. Ambrose
J. Doodledike, attended a dinner
at the home of Mr. and Mrs.
Nothan P. Dothan Thursday
night.
Miss Sudsie May Frump and
Mr. Algernon K. Tinwhistle, of
Bugtussle, motored over to Frog
town Sunday afternoon on a
pleasure jaunt. Hope you had a
good time, Sudsie and Al.
m
Farm Editor
SOYBEAN CORNTASSLE
Whose Farm Articles AH
Farmers Are Urged To Read
Today we take up a problem
that has been worrying farmers
since that moot question—which
came first, the chicken or the
egg? was first brought up. It is,
namely, how can I prevent break
ing the shells on eggs while en
route to market?
As an expert along every line
of farming; as the first farmer
ever to successfully grow dry wa
termelons, I feel particularly fit
ted to solve this problem of brit
tle egg shells.
The first step in meeting the
egg breaking problem is to sit
"T- 4. m,
I
You'll Always
Find Bigr Values At
McDANIEL'S
PUBLISHED WEAKLY
down and figure why egg shells
break. If you are of average in
telligence, it will soon dawn upon
you that they break because they
are broken, or., in more simple
language, because the shells are
not strong enough to withstand
a sudden jar or jolt, which, caus
ing the egg to come in contact
with some hard object, results in
a crack and oftimes an open
fracture. So, with these facts be
fore us it is easy to see that to
prevent egg shells from breaking
so easily it is necessary to have
eggs with harder shells.
Now. To remedy this situation,
feed your hens a teaspoonful of
the following mixture: One sack
of Portland cement, fifty pounds
of absorbent cotton and one-half
ton of sand. Mix well with wa
ter.
After a two weeks' diet of this
mixture, hens will lay eggs with
hard shells, and each shell will
have a protective lining of ab
sorbent cotton.
In our next issue, if any, I will
devote an article on how to break
these shells in case I'm able to
figure it out.
Pud Pumps, son of Mr. and Mrs.
Perbie Pumps, was the week-end
'guest of the county. Mr. ftimps
was released, completely sober,
early Monday morning.
Mr. and Mrs. Eli as J. Pislam
announce the marriage of their
daughter, Frousy Frellna, to Mr.
Bumstead B. Bumfuzzle on Sat
urday, February 13, 1937, which
date Mr. Pislam is referring to as
his lucky day.