Thursday, February 4, 1937
"®P *m v .jpc^aTOij?-
OUR AUNT PHRONY CULPEPPER
We present today a little dove-like woman who is al
ways giving our Uncle Culpepper the bird Aunt Phrony
t Culpepper, who deserves some sort
of recognition for having to put up
with our uncle so long.
A glance at the photograph to
the left discloses a mild little wo
man who can't throw a rolling pin
over a hundred yards—accurately.
And may it be said to her everlast
ing credit that she is the woman
who prevailed upon our Uncle Cul
pepper to quit sewing on his red
flannel underwear at the first
frost. Now he uses a zipper so it
will come off easier when he wants
In all of Orange county you won't
find another woman like Aunt
Phrony thank goodness. She is
one of these women who acts first, and asks questions later
—when Uncle Culpepper comes to.
When it comes to news, Aunt Phrony has a wider cir
culation than the county paper. And she'll go to press on
the slightest excuse.
As a housekeeper, she hasn't a superior in all of Orange
county. If it hadn't been for her zeal for cleanliness, our
Uncle Culpepper probably would still be missing. He disap
peared one day and she didn't see hide nor hair of himi for
two weeks. Then one morning she decided to sweep out
from under the bed, and there he was.
He would probably have come out of his own accord
when he sobered up.
N* * *
PASS THE RAZOR BLADES, PLEASE
We were down town at a local cafe the other night when
we witnessed an exhibition that sent us hurrying out the
door for safety sake. A young'
man was busily engaged in eating
a safety razor blade.
We don't know who he was, but
we do know he had a queer appe
tite. He took an ordinary double-
PAUL GWYN
PHONE 258
AH Lines of
INSURANCE
Representing Strong Stock
Companies Only—No Mutuals
Sweets to the Sweetest
FOR VALENTINE DAY
You won't find a more ideal Valentine than OE?
a beautiful heart shaped box of delicious
Whitman's or Martha Washington candy. To
Hurry today and reserve yours as an imbas- AA
,sador of your affection to "your Valentine." V
Turner Drug Co.
I*""* 64 ElklD, N. C.
edge safety razor blade, let an
other person break it in half the
long way, and then while one man
held his hands, another placed the
half blade in his mouth. He then
proceeded to chew it up into tiny
THE ELKIN TRIBUNE, ELKIN, NORTH CAROLINA
bits of steel and washed it down
with a drink of water. He didn't
even use any pepper or salt.
When we saw that this fellow!
had an appetite for razor blades,
we figured he might also like
needles and pins, nails and rail
way spikes, and other hard, sharp
things. Then we though of the
celebrated Browning knees and
rushed out before he should spy
them and attempt another meal.
We are not sure, but this razors
blade-eating young man might be
the answer to the heretofore un
solved problem of what to do
with dull razor blades. What a
convenience it would be if it
could be arranged so that he
would call at your home every
week or two and eat all the old
blades. It's pretty certain that
he would have a keen appetitite at
all times. Then too, after he ate
the blades, one could give him a
few old rusty nails for dessert to
show proper appreciation.
We understand this same young
man has quite an appetite for
.electric light bulbs, someone tell
ing us just this morning that he
ate the glass of an entire bulb at
one sitting some weeks ago. Of
course, if h£ wants to go around
eating light bulbs, that's his own
business, but if it should come to
pass that arrangements were
made for him to eat all discarded
razor blades, he would have to
sign an agreement not to eat
light bulbs unless they were defi
nitely burned out. Think of the
expense if he should stray into
someone's electric sign.
* • •
FIRE, SMOKE AND WATER
We understand the Elkin fire
department is seriously consider
ing entering suit for a large sum
against George Royall and myself
because we broke out {he first
window glass at the fire which
warmed up our house early Mon
day morning.
The firemen, proud possessors
of a new fire truck equipped with
a special glass breaker outer were
Indignant and embarrassed no
end when they found that the
first window of the night went to
our credit. We both apologize, but
the temptation was too great.
And while apologies are in or
der, we personally want to apolo- !
gize to the fire alarm bell that
was located in our attic for giv-;
ing it a half asleep cussin' in the
belief it was the alarm clock. We
heard a bell ringing and thought
it was 7 o'clock in the morning.
Rousing up and turning over we
were preparing to go back to
sleep for a few more winks when'
we happened to open our eyes and
glance through the open door in- I
to the living room. The sight we
saw there caused our eyes to open
with a "pop" that could be heard
clear across the street!
The living room, usually;
shrouded in darkness at that!
hour, was bathed in a flickering!
red glare. Flexing the celebrated
Browning knees, we sprang out of
bed and into the living room. I
Flames were pouring through the
ceiling there and in the adjoin
ing bedroom where Bobby, our
youngest, was sleeping. Not even
pausing to warm, we grabbed up
Bob and carried him back to his
mother who had aroused Sterling,
our little girl, and headed them
out the back door. Then we, re
alizing in this moment of crises
that our dignity would suffer if
we rushed out into the night clad
merely in an old fashioned split
tail nightie, dashed back into the
living room for what clothing We
could collect. By that time it
was hot enough to fry an egg and
we didn't tarry long, running
back out the back door with long,
inquisitive tongues of flame lick
ing at our heels.
Arousing Mr. Royall across the
street with a demonstration of
doorbell ringing that will go down
inthe annals of history,, we had
hnn summon the fire department
and then together we ran back to
break out that front window, but
we couldn't get in. Personally, we
hope the fire department will
forgive us, because the front door
was locked from the inside,
flames were pouring out the back
door, and all we wanted was to
try and get in to snatch a few
clothes. But we couldnt make it.
We are sure Mr. Royall didn't
mean any harm in helping smash
that window and we are willing
to take full blame.
Since the fire everyone has
been perfectly swell to us, and in
all seriousness all of us want to
say thank you—and we mean it
sincerely. It's not any fun to be
burned oompletely out, but it
does make one feel all good inside
to be treated as finely as we have
been since the fire. We mean
that!
, In closing it has dawned upon
us that after all our years of
campaigning for a new fire truck,
ours was ths first home to bum
down after the truck was pur
chased, Tsk, tsk. i
THIS AND THAT
Due to some kind of Interfer
ence, which radio repairmen tell
us could be caused by a number of
things, radio reception in our
neighborhood and in several other
sections of the town, is not wosth
a hoot.
_X
This interference a steady
grinding noise always makes
itself heard just as it's time for
your favorite program. It will
make reception impossible until
the program is over, then perhaps
it will shut off for maybe an
hour, then back It comes.
Numerous radio owners are
complaining about it, but the fuss
goes on just the same. If power
company officials could locate and
correct the source of the Inter
ference, there would be a lot of
folks who would mightily appreci
ate it. For with such interference,
radio isn't worth a dime.
• • •
We haven't heard so much
grumbling about the rain here
since the radio has brought the
Ohio valley flood right into our
livingrooms. What's a month or
Coming Specials
Feb. 11-12
"The Charge of the
Light Brigade"
Feb. 15-16
"Give Me Your
Heart"
TODAY AND FRIDAY— SATURDAY—
Cartoon - Serial - Comedy Adm. 10c-30c
NEXT WEEK, MON.-TUES.— * "
- Ad., ia 7ItGHLD
FRIDAY NIGHT, 12 O'CLOCK— IJm¥J%V *"
MIDNIGHT SHOW WIL LI i*M?O w E
"ADVENTURES IN MANHATTAN" W"" W-HEL
Admission 10c-25c H "jPBUjI J| ml
«1 es KJt JfjiaL f- Jin TUESDAY NIGHT, 12 O'CLOCK
-15 midmu; .
six weeks' rain compared to a
flood that respects neither life
nor property?
Even with the radio bringing In
witness accounts of the flood, it's
Impossible to realize the actual
suffering of those who have been
forced to flee theft homes by the
raging waters. And no matter how
much Elkin contributes to the
Red Cross, they will not have
given too much.
Patronize Tribung advertisers.
They offer real values.
Don't use smelly,
salves that stain and
garments and bed
clothes!
Scoftj^^yp
Treatment
Soothes instantly. KUk th»
tiny mites thst burrow
. under the skin and caust
the itching, dean, quick,
cheap and sure. All drug
gi«ts—so*
TURNER DRUG COMPANY
Office:
Glasses Fitted lawn National ffU«k w«iMii» f
DR. P. W. GREEN
OPTOMETRIST
Offices open daily for optical repairs and adjustments of all kinds.
Examinations on Tuesdays and Fridays from 1 to 5 p. m.
By Appointment Plume 140
COMPLETE
Foundry And
Machine Shop
SERVICE
Electric and Acetelyne Welding
CALL ON US FOR YOUR EVERY NEED
DOUBLE EAGLE SERVICE CO.
Phone 43 Elkin, N. C.
Coming: Specials
Feb. 18-19
"Three Men on a
Horse"
Feb. 22-23
"The Dionne Quin
tuplets"