CONCERNING A NUMBER OF THINGS
Listening over the radio today at dinner (lunch to you) t
we noted with interest the statement of a news commenta
tor who said that science is busily at work in an effort to
lengthen the human span of life to at least 100 years, and
that such a life span is not far in the distance.
Speaking for ourselves, we'll say that it will no doubt
be all right to live a hundred years, • but somehow the
thoughts of having to buy grocer-♦ > ■
ies and pay light bills for that
length of time sorta takes the joy
out of it.
First thing we know we are go
ing to wind up right smack under
the jail! The other Saturday
night we nearly got pinched for
parking by that water hydrant
on the corner at Turner Drug Co.
—a thing we shouldn't have done
no doubt—and then just a day or
so later later we drove right
smack dab through a freshly
painted parking stripe in the
street that Raymond Felts, with
loving care, had just put down in
artistic fashion. Both times we
were the subject of official dis
pleasure.
OTJH old friend* SING Low, sings and MI bow clean-cut you look
high praise lor HAKES 1 He says and feeL Nothing sags or bags,
no matter how much he washes Even the armpits are neatl
your HAKES Shirt, it still has plenty Every time you put on a HAKES
of tail to tuck deep inside your Shirt step into a pair of HAKES
shorts. It wouldn't have a China- Shorts. No matter how well you're
man's chance of sneaking out and upholstered, you can sit, stoop, or
wadding at the waist 1 walk, and never be cramped in
Take hold of a HAKES Shirt and the crotch! Genuine Lastex in the
stretch it sideways. Look at the belL Colors fast. See your HAKES
life and snap in that soft elastic- Dealer today. P. H. Hanes Knit
knit 1 Now. pull it over your head ting Co„ Winston-Salem. N. C. t
j sis "11
■ II SAMSONBAK Sanforised Union- B
H Mil EVERY SEASON Sk a Suits, II each; others, 79c up.
jpSff / ft
•;"-r-'rf / Jf lilfJEk
|raP|, 1 t Mi
: :: v ■
ENJOY THE BEST...,
"Schlitz in Steinies"
UNLIKE other been, you don't hare to cultivate
a taste for Schlite. Yon like it on first acquain
tance and ever after. Yon like it because SchHtz
is really fine beer .. . brewed rich, ripe and mel
low, winter and summer, under Precise Enzyme
Control. Enjoy Schlits today in the compact, easily-
stored "Steinie" Brown Bottles ... for a glorious
treat in old-time flavor. Also available in the
familiar Ttil Brown Bottle and Cap- Sealed Can.
JOS, SCHLITZ ( // MM MILWAUKEE,
BREWING CO. WISCONSIN
Of course anyone who knows us
will understand that we wean to
be law abiding, but seems like
sometimes there's a little devil in
us that Just will come out. Why
we can remember as a child how
we used to make faces at our
school teacher (when she wasn't
looking)), and then there was the
time when we swiped a couple (of
bushels) of green apples from a
neighbor's tree. Fight against it
as we may, we just can't seem to
submerge that lawless streak.
It was the meanness in us that
prompted us to park close to that
hydrant at Turner Drug Co. We
knew when we did it that we were
doing something that no one else
THF Ft KIN TRIBUNE El KIN NORTH CAROLINA
• r L & 1 ";
I 'Jn , _
had ever done before (lots of
1 people who own cars with bent
i front fenders did it with a ham
mer), but that's the way we are,
always pioneering—even in law
lessness. And we were getting
an awful big thrill out of it until
we came back to the car to find
an Elkin policeman standing there
with bloed in his eye.
At the very moment we spied
this policeman the lawless streak
disappeared and our usual little
wings sprouted from their accus
tomed slots. Then we managed
to beg off due to the officer hav
ing gotten quite a thrill himself at
seeing a oar parked near that hy
drant. If we had had a camera
we would have made a picture of
it and saved it for posterity.
Think of the thrill our grandchil
dren, and their grandchildren,
would get out of exhibiting this
picture with the marvelous state
ment that "our grandpappy was
the first man ever to park a car
by that water hydrant at Turner
Drug Co., away back in 1837!"
There were lots of people here
who were very sorry to hear
about the tragic death of Red
Harman at the Winston-Salem
airport last week. Red was an ex
cellent pilot and a nice fellow and
about everyone here who has ever
ridden in an airplane has ridden
with him.
Red took us up one afternoon
and let us fly the plane around
and around for about fifteen min
utes. That was the afternoon that
everybody spent under the bed
during the time we were at the
controls. He wasn't the type of
fellow to fly planes under bridges
or take any kind of chances. Still,
it get him at last, as it does so
many fellows.
We used to take airplane rides
every chance we got, but now
that we're getting old we figure
we'll just stay on tt e ground and
dodge automobiles. One at least
doesn't have so far to fall when
knocked down by a car.
* * •
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANY
THING TO BEAT THIS?
The following letter to the Pub
lic Opinion column of the New
York Sunday News, evidently
written by a negro, appeared in
a recent issue:
"Suffolk, Va., Thank God
for that school gas explosion in
Texas. May these prej
udiced, discriminating white
folks of the South be blasted,
even down to the kids."
The letter was signed "Obser
ver." Can you think of anyone
more deserving of a one-way
ticket to hell than the writer of
that letter?
♦ * ♦
THIS AND THAT
We understand that Q. Snow,
since the recent increase of five
cents on haircuts, has been cut
ting his own hair.
Ivy Cockerham, since installing
a modern hair-growing apparatus,
has originated the following slo
gan: "While there's fuzz, there's
hope."
Don't be surprised any minute
to see some of Elkin's better
known bald-headed men come
ambling down the street with long
flowing tresses sprouting from
what before was a desolated
pate.
Unfortunately, the appartus
won't grow hair on heads in which
the roots are already dead. But
in cases where the roots are still
alive, intensive cultivation is said
to work wonders. Imagine a man
telling his wife he's going down to
the barber shop to have his head
cultivated.
Each treatment is supposed to
take 30 minutes. What we can't
figure oi ♦. is how they are going
to keep Mr. Cockerham in one
place long enough to complete a
treatment.
Kidding aside, the apparatus,
which was developed by the
Crosley Radio Corp., is said to ac
tually restore hair. So keep
your eyes open. You're liable to
see something coming up one of
these days.
And maybe It will be parted
in the middle.
DOBSON, ROUTE 2 [
Mr. and Mrs. Leßoy Hemric
and family, Mr. and Mrs. Fred
Martin and little daughter, Bettle
jean, all of Boonville, Route 1,
were the Sunday guests of Mr.
and Mrs. Carl Hemric here.
Miss Claudihe poindexter spent
the week-end with Miss Irene
White.
The home of Mr. and Mrs. Er
vin Wood was the scene of a love
ly dinner given Sunday in honor
of his mother and aunt's birth
days, Mrs. Fan Wood and Mrs.
Amanda Strange, whose birth
days were the 3rd and Ilth of this
month.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Tucker
and family of High Point visited
Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln White on
this route Sunday.
tal's spying on Labor. Their Idea
Is that snooping is indecent unless
done by the government.
Another way to make money in
the stock market is to ask the ad
vice of brokers and other experts
and then do the opposite.
I NOTICE
I NORTH CAROLINA,
SURRY COUNTY.
J. H. Greenwood, Plaintiff
Vs.
Male Ervln Greenwood, Defendant
In The Superior Court
I The defendant above named
will take notice that an action
REMEMBER THIS
CROSS
IT MEANS FAST RELIEF
15c r*a u
■OHM
S m
BAYER ASPIRIN
AND
NEXT WEEK- ~
W /A MONDAY-TUESDAY—
fbgm
ifj* f —l"** never one like this!"
a 6 / o *c/^ These two great screen lovers whose paths now cross
tS(JftU& w bring you the beauty, the thrill and
the^ glory of the
NOTF* Hartmann Unit No. 2, Originally sched- ' ||\ £ /i¥ f j
11V1 Li* uled for Friday, will not be here, the act hav- I ••
ing been postponed until a later date. V^-
Friday Night, 12 o'Clock, Midnight Show— News \
"CHARLIE CHAN AT THE OPERA" Cartoon | I
Selected Short Adm. 10c-25c UMI
SATURDAY—SPECIAL— 10c-30c
Aaa3S33g Ssvumx k -w^. , i Bias *
yj.yippy-yoy.yoy-yoyl A Tuesday Night, 12 o'clock, Midnight Show—
J Joe Cook hits the woolly West. - *3l 199
In spats, top-hat and fancy vest. O 111 cil!* L JtSIOHCIO
The cows go wild; the wild bulls « 1 * j«« .. A or
■Hp roar. And bod m*n roll on th. Selected Short Adm. 10c-25c
WEDNESDAY _FAMILY SHOW—
I Zone Greys I
Vftk ARIZONA 1 Jane Withers
I I
I "HOLY TERROR"
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BIG SHOWS
.. jfiP Smart Girls"
Cartoon—Serial—Comedy— Adm. 10c-30c Ttlo PlsHlSlllSn
11 ■_ ■
.
entitled as above has been com
menced in the Superior Court for
an absolute divorce from the
bonds of Matrimony between the
- «r* the defendant. The
Ckld defendant will further take
•c it> leqaued to ap
pear and answer to the complaint
now on file In the office of the
Clerk of the Superior Court of
Surry County at Dobaon, N. C.
on or before the llth day of May,
1937, otherwise the plaintiff will
apply to the Court for the relief
demanded in said complaint.
This 9th day of April, 1937.
v P. T. LLEWELLYN,
5-6 Clerk of the Superior Court.
F. A. Brendle &
Son
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