PECULIAR.
Oh. human beings are, in sooth, v
A most peculiar lot.
By them a lady or a youth (
Is kidnaped, like as not.
. They love to turn to reckless fun
; Which undermines the health;
lAnd each feels happiest when he's won
Another's hard-earned wealth ...
Each likes to talk about the way, v-
He loves his fellow-man,
But you will notice, day by day; '
He "does him" when he can. .
The golden rule he quotes as truth
'Tis instantly forgot.
These human beings are, in sooth,
A most-peculiar lot,
i i i i - -n i i
- ii ; Nit i '
-it-
LIZA," said Mr. Sparks on
the night of the day that
r they moved into their new
Is-"worse than one of Dante's circles.
I'll make just one more move before
I die, and that will be into a house in a
suburb. Here we are just moved,
everything topsy-turvy and no girl.
Of course, the latest acquisition from
the employment bureau had to leave us
just to throw all the burden of the
packing up and unpacking on us. Then
again the janitors of all flats are nul-
claimed, "that's. the advertisement of
Mrs. Smithkins, who. lives in the .flat
underneath this. You came to ;the
wrong apartment." i
Well, I like the iooks or tuis pifice,
anyway, and I'll stay."
"Henry," said Mrs. Sparks, "won't
it be a case of false pretenses if we
keen her?"
'Not bv a jwsful. I'll send JVjrs.
Smithkins the price of her advertise
ment in an anonymous letter. 'To have
and to hold' is a good motto in a casb
like this." .
The girl Rosa, who stumbled Into
the Sparks', flat that moving day night,
"William, you've been in the service."
"Yes, sir,'.' said William, ;i put in
five years in the Fourth Cavalry-"
"I can tell a regular the minute I
clap eyes on him," said Mr. Sparks.
"I put in a good many years myself
You have two fine children here, Wil
liam." "Yes," said William, assentingly, and
then Mr. Sparks said "Good-by."
That night when Mr. Sparks reached
home his wife said: "The janitor ame
- ' 1 1
r- ? ' &SgK8gA ft II
HIT
11
RO SA.
3UUV.t.l3 11 UCl LUC li-i. IUIO uunvwu
will prove to be worse than liny of the
others, and even a man accustomed
to using strong language can't say any
thing stronger than that. Just look at
this muss, will you, and no one to help
us fix it up."
Just then the front-door bell rang.
Henry Sparks stumbled over two
trunks, his daughter's bicycle, barked
his shin, bruisdd his toes and finally
reached the door. There in the -hall
stood a young woman, comely and
strong-looking. "Is this the place you
want a girl?" she asked.
A sudden joy leaped Into Henry
Sparks' heart. "Yes," he said, "come
in. We've just moved; we're all up
side down here. Look out for the
boxes." T
Then Mr. Sparks led the way into
the dining room and turned the caller
over to his wife. "Yes, we want a
ghi,"f said Mrs. Sparks; "we've just
moved in, and may .be you won't want
to stay now; you see how things are
and what cleaning is to be, done."
"I'm not afraid to work," said the
Shi.,
At this answer Henry Sparks, who
stood in a corner, almost fainted. The
girl produced a letter from a Lutheran
up to-day and washed the windows. I
wa a dream. She cooked tnmgs to a
turn; she was willing; she didn't have
a 'cross word in her vocabulary; she
didn't care to go to balls on Saturday
night, and she was plump and good
looking. The Sparks' family life was
ideal.
One morning- as Mr. Sparks was leav
ing the building to go to the office he
met the janitor, who was Coming up
from the basement leadjng a child with
each hand. Mr. Sparks had barely
noticed the janitor before. This morn
ing' something , in the man's bearing
struck him, and turning, he said:
didn't think it was part of his work;
but he said it was all right and insist
ed. He told me that he used to be in
the regular army and that he knew
you had been in the service, too."
"That's It, Eliza," said Henry, "an
old soldier likes to do things for an
other old soldier. He washed our win
dows because we had both done hard
duty on the plains. Nothing like it.
He must be a good, steady fellow, for
he has a wife and two children. They
have a flat in the basement."
Mr.- Sparks met William quite fre
quently after tps. William" always
saluted. If he happened to oe stand-
tr it.
per l
M) ' j
HE WASHED THE WINDOWS EVERY-OTHER DAY.
clergyman in a little country village.
It happened that Henry Sparks knew
the man.. The girl was taken on the
spot as she declared she was ready
to go to work then and there and would
have her things sent right over from
her cousin's. ,
During the whole conversation' Mrs.
Sparks' face had worn a rather puzzled
ixpression. When the girl had volun
teered to, stay Mrs. Sparks said: "How
did you happen to know we wanted a
girl?" ,.
m : "I saw your advertisement," was the
answer. "Here it is," and the girl
pulled out a copy of the niorning paper.
Mr Sparks took it "Mercy," cx-
ing still as Mr. Sparks passcu ne would
come to "attention," clicking his heels
together the while and saluting like
the old campaigner he was. Almost
every night when hp would reach
home Mrs. Sparks would tell "Henry
of some new act of attention on the
part of the janitor. "He came up and
went all over the plumbing 'to-day,"
she said one night. "He said he wanted
to make sure there wasn't any sewer
gas in the place. I suppose he fears
for the health of his wife and children.
He spent an awful: long while in the
kitchen examining the pipes there. He
said they would need attention for an
other day or two. I was afraid ho
would ihterf ere with Rosa's work, but
she said he didn't." 1 ,
"Thereit's just as I told you, Eliza,
said Mr. "Sparks; "this janitor doesn't
want to see the family of an old sol
dier suffer. Dl give him a box of cig
ars to-night. Eliza, this is the finest
kind of life. Never talk to me again
about taking a suburban house. Here
the best girl that ever worked out
stumbles in on us by accident, and wev
get a janitor who serves-us as .though
we were moguls. We'll just drift along
in this Elysian atmosphere until either
we; Rosa or William diel It's great.""
Things went on this way for two
months. Henry Sparks. told five real
estate agents to quit looking up a coun
try home for him. 'You can't beat the
combination I' vr got right hre in the'
heart of Chicago," he said. .
A box of cigars went a long way with
the janitor. He :nsistcd on beating the
Sparks' rugs, ho gilded the radiators,
he fixed the door knobs, and toward
the end of the second month he was
washing the windows every other day.
The windows of the other flats were
dingy and finger-marked, while those
in the Sparks' flat were as undimmed
crystal. Rosa was a pearl of great
price. She anticipated every wish of
every member of the family.' There
was little left for Mrs. Gparks to do but
to embroider and to mend Frances'
stockings. For some reason or other
Henry Sparksr though he had always
prided himself on his perspicacity,
never noticed that whenever .'William
found that something in the kitchen
needed fixing the job was always one
that required three or four days' time.
He told his wife one day that he must
give William another box of cigars, be
cause, although he was an old soldier,
he did not like the idea of having the
man do so much work , for simply the
sake of sentiment. "I gave each of his
children a quarter this morning and I
gave his wife a dollar the other day,
but that's not enough to do for a man
who spends most of his time making
your life happy in a flat."
That night Mr. Sparks went down
town, to do some work. He didn't get
back -till one o'clock. He slipped off
his shoes at the door . so-as not to
awaken his wife. He passed into the
hall and, feeling hungry, he went back
through the dining-room with, a mind
and appetite bent on exploring the
kitchen pantry. The door leading Into
the kitchen was shut In his stocking
feet Mrl Sparks made no noise. He
opened the door quickly. The kitchen
gas was burning. From the far end
of the room came a clicking noise.
William the janitor was standing at
attention with his heels brought sharp
ly together. As yie man jumped to
the position of a soldier Mr. Sparks
saw that one of his arms had just
dropped from its position of embrace
about the waist of Rosa, the maid.
Mr. Sparks was horrified. He went
back to days when as a "non com" he
had verbally lashed sonie.bluecoat duty
derelict.
"William," he said in a voice of thun
der, "how dare you! You're a scoun
drel, sir."
William'sj hand went to his forehead
in salute. "Rosa and I are to be mar
ried next week, Mr. Sparks," he said.
"Married!" was the gasping response;
"how about your wife and two chil
dren down stairs?"
"That's nay widowed sister and two
little ones. She's been keeping house
for me," said William.
Mr. Sparks groaned and went limply
back into the front room. He waked
his wife. "Eliza," he said, "our dream
is over. Rosa is going to marry the
janitor. It wasn't any old soldier sent!-.
ment at all that made him wash win
dows. I'll tell Hunt in the morning to
nor a home for us In the country,"
and, sighing, Mr. Sparks went to bed.
At the breakfast table the next morn
ing William and Rosa came in, nand
in hand. "We're going to be married
next week, Mrs. Sparks," said Rosa,
"but my sister wants a place and I'll
send her here.. She's a better cook than
I am."
At this bit of information Mr. .Sparks
face cleared visibly "You "both have
my blessing," hejsaid; "send in your
sister Rosa, and if William leaves here
I'll get old Highrates, the landlord,
to send a good janitor in his place, but
I'll take good care that he's not an old
soldier." And then, forgetful of every
thing else, Mr. Sparks turned to his
wife and said: "They can't resist an'
old soldier, can they, my dear?"-r-Ed-ward
R. Clark ;jn the Chicago Record
Herald. ' .
Aii Epidemic Among the Murrea. .
It is statedxthat during the past sea
son an epidemic has prevailed among
the murres of the fribilof Islands, and
that the birds, "which are found there
in vast numbers, have perished by
thousands. The first intimation of
disease was the presence of birds about
the village of St Paul, close in short,
so weak "that they were readily taken
by the ; children. Later, dead .birds
washed ashore 'in such numbers that
;212 were counted in; 150 yards, while
steamers from St. Michael's reported
passing through large quantities' of
dead birds. This recalls the epidemic
which has twice prevailed among the
cormorants; of the Commander Islands,
greatly reducing their numbers. ;
WOKLFS SMALLEST PISH
AN EDIBLE VARIETY NEVER LARGER
THAN A HALF INCH.
In Russia the forests cover thirty-six
per cent, of the whole imperial area.
Sent from the Philippine Canght In
Net bjr the Thonan1 and Freed
J n to Cakes to Be Eaten 1 hese Flh
Are Highly Prizad fby Our oldier.
The world's smallest vertebrate, just
discovered In the Philippines: is ex
citing the wonder and admiration of
government scientists.
It is dihlcult for the layman to im
agine a mature and normal animal pos
sessed of a backbone j and spinal cord
and yet so minute and delicate as to
weigh only half a crain.
This wonderful little animal is a fish.
It was lately found by1 our soldiers' in
Lake Buhl, Southern Luzon, in the de
partment of Camarines Sur. Medical
officers connected with thd; hospital at
Buhl collected numerous specimens in
a small bottle and sent them to Wash
ington. Surgeon General Sternbery
sent" them to the fish commission the
other day, without knowing what a
great prize he was donating to that in
stitution. At the fish j commission they
were referred to Dr. j Hugh M. Smith,
biologist, who has carefully weighed,
measured and examined them micro
scopically. Dr. Smith has christened
the wonderful species, "Mistichthys
luzonensis," the v first word meaning
"the smallest" and the second, "in
habitant of Luzon,' "Siharapan" is the
common name by which the little
creatures are . known among the
BIcols who inhabit their region.
The sinarapan is like any other , fish
in shape and proportions; so far as the
untrained eye can see. On account of
its almost phenomenal ' minuteness, it
is almost transparent. It has a black
chin, a black line down its centre, be
hind the anal fin, and a few. black spots
on its back. Many of the specimens
diC3ected under the microscope con
tained ripe eggs, comparable with the
merest needle-point and measuring
1-200 inch In diameter. The. females
are slightly larger than the males, the
former averaging a fraction more than
half an inch in length,while the males
average just a half inch. The smallest
mature specimens are but two-fifths
of an inch from tip of nose to point
of tail.
- - ' j -r. '
An odd fact in regard to these in
finitesimal creatures is that they are
utilized for human food! Lake Buhl is
a volcanic basin, in the shadow of Mt.
Iriga. Here the side of a mountain
seems to have been ' quite recently
blown, out by volcanic j action. Many
varieties of fishes of every size
k abound in the lake, but the sinarapan
are by far the most numerous.
The Bicols when fishing for them use
a large sheet of close web which they
dip under the water whenever a school
congregates. They are j gatnered in
tightly, woven baskets from which the
water soon drains, leaving a compact
mass of the little creatures. When the
fleets of fishermen bringj them to shore
in this condition the natives buy them
eagerly. They are seasoned with pep
per and other spices pressed-uncooked
Into cakes and, dried in the sun. Our
soldiers are reported to have already
grown fond of this strange diet.
Several cakes made from the little
fishes dried have been obtained by the
fish commission. They are about the
size of ordinary griddle cakes, but are
as thin as wafers and very brittle.
Each contains from two to three thou
sand fish. Dr. Smith and your corre
spondent together partook of morsels
of one of these . cakes. It
gave off a decided fishy
odor" which did not belie its taste;
The flavor was also peppery with
a suggestion of sage and! a gpod pro
portion of salt. The wafers are a, rich
yellow in colorand might be palatabl i
to those fond of caviar and kindred
fishy dishes. i
To be able to brag of eating ten thou
sand whole fishes at a nieal could bo
excelled only by a boast of having
caught that many mature fishes in a
few minutes, wlh one's on hand. One
of the wafers supplies only a mouthful
and many are doubtless! requisite! to
satisfy the hunger of a Bicol at one
meal. . j; v r
These smallest of all fishes belong to
the great cosmopolitan "goby" family,
of which upwards of ooO! species "are
known. Dr. Smk regards jit as not im
possible that they are annuals, like
many of our plants, i. e. that. they jJie
out -sach jear leavin g only their un
developed eggs. If this be true, there
are months in each year when they are
practically extinct, but I potentially
extant. In certain regions this is char
acteristic of the goby. j . j .
V Comparing this -smajiest vertebrate
with the largest animal of that cate
gory we have an amazing contrast. The
largest vertebrate and likewise the
largest of known animals is the giant
finback whale inhabiting the Atlantic,
within the temperate zone! and which
therefore swims off our eastern coast
This monster has been known to attain
.a length of nearly 100 feet and is
commonly 70 feet from muzzle to tail.
But whne the whale is jthe largest
vertebrate, and, as also stated, the
largest known animal of any category
whatsoever, it is not a fish; although
it is commonly alluded to as such. The
whale is a mammal, and I hence the
largest of known mammals.
1 v
The smallest :.mamir.al
shrew called the botox (. ta,
three inches in length. froT
to point of nose. ;
Tn thP fish fnmilr
ut-iono-cs 4 T
tinction 'of having the er'r k
in aitc. jLiio muc liBll, tWo-fi U?M
a5
inch long, just discovprp t'.. f
ippines, being the minimun, Z
compare it with a giant sharv .1
inuo-facnu; region, Known as x
odon tvDicus." This it
ceed a length of 50 feetraud hP
the largest fish. It is even
fair authority to grow tn n u ii
.70 feet, but few of our mn m of
tists believe this to h - s
RAILROAD GOOSE LAW.
No Damages for Ktaing Over r
" Proper lilid for li WWtnv u1o T, ee,e
iNasnviiie ana iuioxille Ra .
i"" "v.iiiig X' . UtiVlS P
"This is an action in L.
and killins: three ere.sf nf tv,Q ,
$10. Theowner of the geese liv!
n mile frnm tho roi'lnnn u,.j. .
them to run at Iatp-p 'nnri tViQ . '
"" wentun.
uu' -" a.iiiwxu LiAUiv near a pyKi;
uau viuooiu6. ie ugineer blew t'h
whistle and rang the bell for thP r.
ing, but there is ho proof that h
iiub mc ucn ui sounaea tne alarm
for the- geese. Whether thfi
knew of this failure to whistle to them
ICUIVJCiSBUCBO Ul CUiillUUU-iaW T) Ctrl;
" . : UCS"-
gence snown m mis case and the oiiIt
qut-ouuu i wueiuer a goose is aa
me siauite,. section, 1574 sub-section
Shannon's compilation, which require
the alarm whistle to be sounded and
DraKes pui aown and every possible
means employed to stop the train an
prevent an accident when an animal
or oostruptlon appears on the track.
is evident this provision is designi
not only to protect-knimals on tl
track, but also passengers and pm
ployes upon the trainfrom accidents
and injury. It would
goose way such an
would' cause the dera
if run over.
"It is true, a goosd has animal life
and in the broadest sense is an animal,
but we think that the
require the stopping i)f trains to pre
vent running over birs such as geese,
chickensr ducks, pigeons, canaries and
other birds that mav bo kpnt fnr nipai
V w W JJLVMW ,
ure or profit. Birds have 'wings to
move them quickly from places of dan
ger, and it is presumption perhaps
in case of a goose an animal which
appears to be loath to! stoop from his
dignity to escape a pissing train.
"But the line must be drawn some
where, and we are of the opinion that
the goose is the proper bird to drav
it at.
.
"We do not mean to
of recklessness and
negligence there might
not seem that a
obstruction as
lmentjof a train
i ,
say that in case
in common-law
not be a recov
ery in killing geese or chickens or
ducks or other fowls, but that case is
not presented. -Snakes and frogs and
fishing were sure, to some extent, ob
structions when upon the railroad
track, but it cannot be held that for
"i 1 .J. J.1 OS
sucu ousirucuon as mese as wen w
fowls the train should be stopped,
mails and passengers Relayed.. We are
of opinion there is error in the judg
ment of the court beiow, and it is
reversed, and the case having been
heard without a jury, lit is dismissed
at plaintiff's costs.' Nashville Ban
ner. , .
college presi
past 15 years
nsidered sui-
Youngr Men With Old Positions.
"The old. fellows don't stand much
show any more except as United
States' senators and . justices of the
supreme court," said James L. Mc
kay of Chicago. "Most of the posi
tions that used to be held by old men
exclusively are now give?i to the young
men. . i
"Take, for instance,
dents. UnUl within the!
it would have been cc
cidal to have placed a- young man at
the head of such an institution as Co
lumbia, Chicago or Yile, yet now
young men are in these positions. Fur
ther evidence of how the young men
are advancing to. the front rank in po
sitions of trust is to be I found in th
railroad ofiices . throughout the coun
try. Nearly; all the; presidents, gen
eral managers, general superintend
ents, and, in fact, nearly all general
executive officers, are comparatively
young men. In big corporations of
all kinds, in banking houses; in mer
cantile i lines and in insurance com
panies, the young man is the conspic
uous figure." Washington Post
'..;'; A Wanted. Snnb.
Clarice Kattierine is always looking
out for ' more important 'people; so I
determined not to notice
Chic's reception. ;
Clarence How did it work?
Clarice Oh, she didn't
that I didn't notice her. Brooklyn
Life.
her at Mrs.
even" notice
. Amon: the First of the Kind.
"Pop, -what is a jinrikisha?"
, "A jinrikisha, my son, jis a sort of
horseless carriage."-Yonkers States
man.'..". ';;' . ' ; ' 1 ;
- A balloon is one thing that is safer
when it has its drawbacks.!