SON OF A GUN
by Joe Lanier
A family reunion is a fine time to Joe. 1 really believe in those things, with
all the neck-huggiug and food. As family members spread out across the land
trying to earn a living here and there, it is good to get together and renew
family ties. There are so many things that seem to keep the visiting down any
more. . .There are baseball games, football games, summer vacations, trips
to the beach. There are as many excuses as there are people. And, excuses
are just that? excuses. . .1 was at the Turner reunion this past Sunday. One
set of the Turners, anyway. As usual 1 overdid it at the eating table. Martha
Grey Miller can be counted on for my favorite vegetable, blue butterbeans.
She came through again, and as always they were delicious I tell you, when
that gal gets around a cookstove, she knoWs what she is doing. Her sister,
Alda Norris, ain't no amateur either. Fact of the matter, Mrs. Molly Turner
taught all her daughters the fine art of cooking. . .And, these daughters have
passed it on down, and they passed it on down. It is just a matter of getting
them together and spreading the food out. After one of these feasts, I know
how Laura Ross felt on her cruise to the Bahamas. Laura, who works for
Wilkins Pontiac in Warsaw, just returned from a "ship trip" to the Bahama
Islands. The Pontiac place won the trip for selling the most Pontiacs, and
Laura was picked to take the trip. She said that in addition to the regular
three meals, there was a mid-morning snack, a mid-afternoon snack and a
midnight snack. . .Six meals a day ? all filled with goodies. However, she
was able to maintain control. . .Some folks have lots of willpower and some
don't. . . I don't when it comes to food. I spent most of my life being skinny ?
skin and bones. . .1 was the fellow at the beach that got sand kicked in his
face. I even sent off for the Charles Atlas course to help me "fill out to my
potential," but it didn't work. . .1 even sent off to Radio Station WCKY in
Cincinnati, Ohio for some "Weight On." That didn't work either. . .Those
were the days when I had to wear a belt to keep my pants up. Now days, I
wear a belt for decoration. My belly holds my pants up. . .1 think my mom has
a lot to do with my overweight now. She made me eat all that was on my
plate, saying some children overseas didn't have enough to eat. I never did
figure out how my eating turnip greens and rutabagas would keep children
overseas from being hungry, but I ate it anyway. . .Some folks said I ate so
much I was poor from carrying it around. . .In later life, I find that not to be
true. Most parents had a hard time getting their children to eat spinach, but
not mine. . .1 read where Popeye got big from eating it. I ate lots of it, but it
didn't work. Still the skinny little fellow. . .Now that it is fashionable to be
skinny, I am overweight. One last thing on this family reunion business.
Don't use an excuse not to go to your family's reunion, whether it be on the
husband's side or the wife's side. Go to both. I am aware it is not the
"in-thing" for the younger generation, and they usually don't like to go. But,
we older folks are supposed to show them some of the finer things in life. So
bring them along, like it or not. They need it the worst, to be sure ? family
ties, I am speaking of.
I was listening to Glenn Braswell tell of taking a bath in the "good old
days" when the bathtub was a tin washtub with the soap, lye soap. And the
only place to keep warm while bathing when it was cold was beside a
wood-burning heater. Glenn and his brothers (he has three of them) were all
taking baths on a cold winter night. . .probably on Saturday night. . .in the
room where the heater was putting forth warmth. . .The side of the tin
trash-burner was red hot. Brother Charles complained of being cold as he
stood near the heater in the nude. Get closer to the heater, said his mom, who
was doing most of the washing of the boys. . .They never would wash behind
their ears. . .So Charles backed up a little more, but a little too much. As his
rear hit the red hot heater, a frying sound was heard. . .Sizzle. . .Then a
scream. Charles jumped straight up in the air, where he ran for about three
minutes before hitting the hard wood floor. . .Off he zoomed and went
straight under the bed. . ."Took us an hour and a half to get him from under
the bed," said Glenn. As he was crying and everyone was soothing him, his
brothers were leughing. . ."He didn't get very close to a heater after that,"
said Glenn.. ."But it could have been worse." .. .Son-of-a-Gun....
11 th Anniversary Sale
Bargains In All Departments
Saturday, September 8 9-5:30pm
FREE Gift For All
AUTOGRAPH PARTY
With EARL JONES
2:00-5:30 pm
Refreshments will be served
Lighthouse Christian
Bookstore
W. Main Street yard sale in parking lot Beulaville
Story & Clark
Back-to-School
Story & Clark ""J""
NIW SPINETS r?. *1095
ORGANS from *650
oikIMWT out KAWAI SALE
HOyjSf Of Nu5IC*33
j^5 4461 734 8187
STATE ST??HOu?S I
INSPECTED *"" ? >?? I
To 1 w^i ?
we reserve the right
Wrap Meats to limit quantity
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*1.38.. I
I WHOLE OR RIB HALF w w
Iloin half 9 .49 tB. I
I %C PORK LOIN ? 1 #59 LB I
I CENTER CUT
? pork chops $1.89lbJ
I OLD HICKORY .? ? A
Ibar-B-q *1.69 lb. I
I Bl neve CUT INTO .<* <%A I
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