Newspapers / The Caucasian (Clinton, N.C.) / Aug. 17, 1905, edition 1 / Page 1
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k 7 T UK iiterpfise -A VOL. II. RALEIGH, N. 0., THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 1905. NO. 18 BILKIN5 IN WASHINGTON. Can't Leave the Capital Mosquitoes Qet in Their Deadly Work and the Major Falls a Victim The Office Seeker's Germ Now Known and B1I kins Will Rank With the Of eat Scientists - President May Create New Department With the ilajor In Charge. Washington, I). C, Aug. 16. Correspondence of the Enterprise. I am here yit an don't know when I'll git erway. This place iz full ov attrackshuns an' offigholders an' offis seekers. If a feller cums here on private business or fer f uii an' stays d week or so, he iz mity apt ter fer git everything else an' jine the per seshun. I reckon the muskeeters ah ter blame, az they cause most ov the yaller fever an' malary epydemicks. They hatch out on the Potomick river an' git innockulated with the offis seek in' germs an' then cum up in the city an' bite the innersent an' the guilty an' the epidemick lasts awl year. When I got here two weeks ergo, I wuz an' innersent man. I had awl the offises down in Martin Creek township an' the promise ov more an' wuz out ter see the country. Even when the Preserdent sed he'd give me enything I wanted, I tole him ter give the jobs ter the noor an' unempioyed. But I hadn't bin erway frum tile White House six hours till I broke out With the diseese. Hit iz turrible, an' they say hit lasts a life time; I started ter the White House four times ter tell the Preser dent that I had changed my mind, but wuz ershamed ter go after re fUsin' hiz kind offef. Monday I got so bad off I jist hed ter see the Preserdent. I went ter the White House an' sent in my card. The feller at the door soon cum back an' sed the Preserdent would be delited ter see me. He shook hands with me fer erbout a minit when I went in. He said: "I'm glad you hev not left the city, Mr. Bilkin8. We will take another walk this afternoon." "Excuse me," sed I; "them pavmints hev mint my f set sinse I cum an I can't walk a mile fer money." "We'll ride, then," sed the Preserdent; "I'll take you out in my new otermobill." "Excuse me." sed I, "I never ride in otermobills nor go up in balloons. A man with a family can't afford sich chanses. But I'm obliged ter you awl the ' same." . I reckon the Preserdent seed sump thin' wuz on my mind an' he sez : "Well, tell me your trubels an' we'll see if any thin' kin be done." "When I wuz here the other day you tole me they wuz nothin' too gude fer me in the way of an offis. I wuz feel in' like a two-year-old colt then an' the muskeeters hadn't bit me, so 1 thought hit would be doin' you an' honor ter refuse an offis with thanks." "I see," sed the Preserdent, "I've had similar experiences, an' I thought you would come back. But tell me whut the muskeeters hed ter do with hit?" "They bit me," sez I, "and filled my system iun ov oyis mmarj own az'hit tuck, I got restless an' couldn't resist cumin' back ter the White, House ter save my life." , ' ' ' 7 The Preserdent 'lowed : "Zeke, you. air a scientist an' ' you hev solved whut hez awlw ays bin a mystery ter me. I hev seed men cum here that never thought ov seekin' an' offis ; men who air above anythin' ov the sort. Hit never crost their minds ter stoop ter holdin' an' offis. But they'd not be here long till they'd git like manyacks an' cum here beseechin' me ter appint them ter sum big offis at first an' then they'd keep droppin' till they seemed ready ter take a job cleanin' up the floors in the departmints. An' you think of fis seekin' iz caused by a germ an' hit iz transmitted ter men by mus keeters bitin' them same az yaller fever?". . : "Yes," sez I, "hit iz bound ter be so, fer purty sooh after them big muskeeters got ter bitin me up here I caved in ah'. I wuz reddy ter kill enybudy if they had got betwixt me an' the White House. If muskeeters kin bite a feller an' make him hev chills, they kin bit him an' make him want offis. I allers thought they wuz sumpthin' more than common thet made men want offis so bad. Why, down in North Carolina, an' I reckon hit iz the same in other States, we hev three hundred thoii san' oflis seekers out ov a votin' pop ulashun ov less than four hundred thousan', an' they hain't partickler whut offis hit iz. We hev sum men who ort ter be Guvernors who air runnin' fer Justis ov the Peece an' other .small jobs. Then we hev. men who hain't fit ter hold a township job who air tryin' ter run fer Guver nor an' the IT. S. Senate. 7 Hit iz awl plain now. Offis-seekin' iz a dis ease, an' az long az thar iz mus keeters hit will be epidemick." "Major, you hev solved hit," sed the Preserdent. "You -air entitled ter rank erlong with the gratest sientifick discoverers, an' I am goin' ter make you a sientifick L. L. I)., the first one made in the wu rid in this branch ov sience." "How much does hit pay f sez I. "They ain't no pay," sed the Pres erdent. "But hit iz the greatest hon or known." "Excuse me," sed I, "but the breed ov muskeeters whut bit mehed a lit tle germ mixed with the other germs thet makes a feller want pay with the offis." The Preserdent smiled an' sed : "Of course he would give me a persishun with pay attached an' that hit hed jist cum ter hiz mind that hit may be necessary ter create a new depart mint in the Govermint Servis ter stamp out the muskeeter evil, an' if I do reckommend hit, I want you ter be at the head ov the depart mint. Here we hev bin goin' on more than four thousan' years an' nobudy hez discovered the offis-seekin' germ before. Major, you air go in' ter prove yourself worth more than your wate in gold ter sience be fore you die. In less than five years you will be, in addishun ter head ov the departmint, professor ov muskeeteroloer in sum ov the grate colleges. Now you want ter dis cover an' antydote or antytocksin . that will kill the germs." "Awl rite, Mr, Preserdent," sez I, "you may count on me. When I find the cure I'll git 'sum feller like J. W.; Bryan an experymint on him. After promising ter call agin soon I left the Preserdent lookin' haDpy. 'Az ever, j ZEKE BLLKINS. nEETING OF STATE ALLIANCE. Officers Elected and Some of the Res olutions Adopted. The annual meeting of the State Farmers' Alliance was held at Hills boro last week. The following were elected officers: President W. A. G rahain, of Lin coln. Vice-President R. II. Speight, of Edgecombe. Secretary-Treasurer and State Busiiiess Agent T. B. Parker, Ra leigh, Wake. Lecturer II. M. Gates, Swepson ville, Alamance. Assistant Lecturer or Steward J. C. Bain, Wade, Cumberland. Chaplain G. W. P. Gates ; Rock Springs, Orange. Doorkeeper George T. Lane, Greensboro, Guilford. Sergeat-at-Arms R. II. Lane, Aurora, Beaufort. Trustee Business Agency Fund W. A. Graham, Machpelah, Lincoln. Executive Committee J. W. Den mark, chairman, Raleigh; W. B. Fleming, Ridgeway ; John Graham, Warrenton; Dr. R. II. Speight, Whitakers; Thomas J. Oldham, Teer. ,;:':.V. Program Committee Clarence II. Foe, chairman ; Dr. C. W. Burkett, Dr. F. L. Stevens, T. B. Parker, Ra leigh. Judiciary Committee H. D. Eeer ton, G. Fr'Parrott and C. C. McLel lan.;: The present session was a most important one. The following reso lutions were adopted which were in troduced by Mr. C. II. Poe, the editor of the Progressive Farmer: "Resolved. That the North Ca ro lina Farmers' State Alliance rejoice in the good work accomplished by the Southern Cotton (J rowers' Asso ciation, and we especially congratu late President Jordan and Secretary Cheatham upon their successful ef forts to organize the cotton farmers and in expressing and correcting the Agricultural Department frauds. "2. That the Alliancemen of North Carolina will continue to stand shoulder to shoulder with the Asso ciation in the program it has mapped out, and we stand ready at all times to co-operate in any way possible for the development of our cotton inter ests." :v.; ... , Another resolution adopted read: "Resolved, That the North Caroli na Farmers' State Alliance sends greetings to the South Carolina Farmers' Alliancemen, and we note with pleasure their determined ef forts to rebuild our Order in the Pal metto State. "2. That our executive committee be authorized to confer with the South Carolina executive committee as to any exchange of lectures or other plans of co-operation looking to the development of the Order in both States. "3. That we hereby offer them the benefits of our safe and long estab lished business agency on the same low terms for all cash business as are given our North Carolina breth- n ren. A committee composed of T. B Parker,' R. II. Lane and J. M. Mitch- eil was appointed to devise an insur ance feature for the members of tho. Alliance and make a definite report at the next annual meeting. The Simple Art of Listening. "She is charming," observed the man, mentally, as he closed the door of her home behind him. "Yes, she's an unusually interest ing woman' he repeated, as he turned the corner. And why ? Simply because she had sat for two solid hours and lis tened. Because by a tactful question or two she had drawn him on to talk of what he liked, while she listened interestdly. Because, when he told her of marvelous achievements, she had seemed awed; when he spoke of a sorrow, her eyes had been all sym pathy; when he related an amusing incident, she had laughed merrily. Always she had listened, intelligent ly, understanding. And in his eyes she was charming, an unusually in teresting woman. Since the days of the humorist woman has been laughed at and joked with because of her talking pro pensities. She has been likened unto a magpie and she has been called a talking machine. She has been ac cused of never letting a man get a word in, in the proverbial manner, edgewise. Now, the clever woman lets him round out his every word, and occasionally, she asks a ques tion a tactful, well-timed question, and listens. Listening is not merely making use of the two ears with which na ture endowed human beings. The woman who has truly learned the art listens with her eyes, her mouth, her hands her whole attitude is that of listening, of being interested in every word of the conversation. Even a little child is attracted to the woman who asks a small girl what she is doing in school, what sort of game she likes to play, where she goes and what she does, and lis tens to her childish way of telling it, always seeming to understand, is the woman whom the child loves. Sel. Avoid Bitter riemories. "Ritter memories of a sinful life which has gone all wrong make pre mature furrows in the tace, take the brightness from the eyes, the elas ticity from the step, and makes one s life sapless and uninteresting. We grow old because we do not know enough to keep young, just as we become sick and diseased because we do not know enough to keep well. Sickness is a result of ignorance and wrong thinking. The time will come when a man will no more har bor thoughts that will make him sick or weak than he would think of put ting his hands into fire. No man can be sick if he always has right thoughts and takes ordinary care of his body. If he will think only youthful thoughts he can maintain his youth far beyond the usual period. If you would be "young when old," adopt the sun dial's motto "I record none but hours of sunshine." Never mind the dark or shadowed hours. Forget the unpleasant, unhappy hours. Remember only the days of rich experiences; let the others drop into oblivion. It is said that "Long livers are great hopers." If you keep your hope bright in spite of discourage ments, and meet all difficulties with a cheerful face, it will be very dif ficult for age to trace its furrows on your brow. There is longevity in cheerfulness. Exchange.
The Caucasian (Clinton, N.C.)
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Aug. 17, 1905, edition 1
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