Newspapers / The Caucasian (Clinton, N.C.) / Sept. 14, 1905, edition 1 / Page 1
Part of The Caucasian (Clinton, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
THE Ent Raleigh erpn VOL. II. RALEIGH, N. O. , THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 1905 . NO. 22 se BILK INS IN NEW YORK. The riajor Lands Safely in the Big City and Hakes a Fair Start Is Go ing to Have Fun With the Confi dence Hen Worked the Hotel for a Ground Floor Room, Which He Calls His Fire Escape Particulars .' Later. ' Correspondence of the Enterprise. New York, N. Y., Sept. 12. I got here Monday an' hev bin try i n' ter pull myself tergether ; that iz, I reckon I am here. This town iz so blasted big that I hain't sertiii er bout nothin' enymore. But ter the best ov my knowledge, skill an' abil ity, I beleeve I am here an' in my rite mind. New York iz lockated on sum sort ov a island jist acrost f rum Jersey Gity an' iz erbout ten miles f rum Newark, N, J., an' the same distance frum Coney Island. Two rivers run rite by the town, one on each side. They hev railrodes on the streets, overhead an' underneath, an' hit looks ter me like a man iz liable ter git killed here several times a day. But I hev seed a gude meny ole peo ple floatin' eround here an' I reckon a gude meny ov them live frum the cradle ter the grave here jist like they do down hi North Carliny. I got off th e train in Jersey City an' axed a railrode oifishual in uni form ter tell me the nighest cut ter .. New York lie tole me ter f oiler the crowd, az thar wuz stacks ov. other people gettin' off the train. I pushed erlong an' we got into a fine lookin' house an' sot down on sum benches. Direckly the house begun ter move off slowly. I yelled, "Earthquake, by Jimmy !" an' begun ter look fer a place ter git out. Sum folks laffed and sed hit wuzzent an earthquake, but a ferry, which wuz takin' us acrost the river. I went ter the win der an' looked out an' we wuz purty nigh half acrost the river. Hit look ed like the whole face ov the earth wuz covered with steambotes an' awl sorts ov ships, an' I could see the city ov New York close by. In fack, they wuzzent nothin 'but houses eny way I looked, an' it seemed ter me that they wuz enuff ov them ter shelter everybody in the world. Direckly the ferry stopped an' I follered the crowd ergin, an' soon got out on an open street paved with rock, an the wuz erbout a millyun carriages lined up an' the drivers wuz yellin "Take you ter any part ov the city," an' "Cab, cab; want a cab?" They call carriages cabs in New York, that iz, sum ov them, fer they hev different kinds. On a cab the driver sits on top ov hit an' drives, an' the passen ger does the ridin' an' payin'. Three or four ov them drivers got holt ov my haversack an' tried ter take me enyhow. I warned them' that deth wuz lurk in in the air an tole them that I wuz a bad man frum one ov the dark corners ov Wake County. That scared 'em pale. After things sorter quieted down I axed a feller if he could tell me whar V ter find a gude hotel or boardin' house whar they give more attenfhun ter the grub than ter the cash regis ter. He named over several hotels. an' one ov them wuz called the Brunswick. "That iz whar you git Brunswick stew, iz it?" sez I. He sed that wuz the place. I tole him I'd think over hit a few days; Erbout that time a fine lookin f el ler wearin' diamonds cum up ter me an' shook hands. "You hev the ad vantage ov me," sez I. "Johnson iz my name," sez he; "I uster see vou eround Raleigh when I lived thar. How have you been, Mr. Bilkins ?" sez he. "Eine az frog hair," sez I. "Cum up ter see the big city ?" sez he. "Yes, I found a copper mine on my place sum time ergo an' I am up here ter sell hit fer a hundred thousand dol lars." "You air lucky," sez he, "an' L wanter make hit pleasant fer you. I am awlways glad ter see my North Carolina f rends in the city. I hev bin here five years. Whar air you goin' ter stop ?" sez he. I tole him I didn't know, but fer him ter be sure an' look me up. He sed he would, an' I knowed hit wuz so. I had hearn ov them conferdence fellers afore. A feller got erquainted with me on the train frum Princeton ter New York an' I knowed he had tole hiz partner. "Mr. Johnson," who I wuz, but I didn't let on. I can't help likin' them conferdence fellers, they air so clev er. Before he left, "Mr. Johnson" sed he would cum eround an' take me ter the theater sum nite. I tole him I'd rather go ter theaters than eat. If "Mr. Johnson" don't watch he will be sorry he ever met me, or my name ain't Bilkins. I mosyed up street a little wavs an' got rite under one of them elevated railrodes with trains a runnin' every two minutes. I climbed upstairs ter the depot an' got on the first one that cum erlong an' rode till I thought I got the worth "ov my nickel. Then I got off an' found a hotel. I sined my name an' the clerk axed me what priced room I wanted. I tole him ter give me the best he had fer a dollar a day. He called a boy an' sed take the gentleman ter 890 "sky." We went ter a hole in the wall an step ped into a sort ov box consarn an' another boy turned a little wheel. We shot up at the rate ov two miles a seckond, an' hit took my breth. Di reckly the car stopped an' we got out an' went into a room. Hit looked purty nice, an' I wuz satisfied till I opened the winder an' looked out. Blamed if hit wuzzent a mile down ter the ground. Sez I ter myself, "if they hev a fire hit will take fit ty la d- ders an' four balloons ter git out ov here." I picked up my haversack an' hunted the stairs. After walkin downstairs erbout an' hour I got ter the offis. "Whut did you put me in the 80th story fer ?" I axed the clerk. He sed the cheaper rooms air awl at the top an' if I wanted "rooms low down the price would be high un. "Can't you put me down in the cel lar ?" sez I. He 'lowed they wuz no rooms in the cellar, but sed he could give me a small room on the first floor. "Show hit ter me." sez 1. 1 he bov took me to hit an' I desided hit would do. But hit iz so small I hev ter go outside ter sneeze when my hav fever gits bad. The buty ov hit iz that I kin slide out easy if the ho tel gits afire. These New Yorkers will hev ter git up early in the morn in' if they loze your Uncle Zeke. A room on the ground floor iz the best fire escape ever made. I hain't had time ter forage eround much, but I hope ter be able ter tell a few facks erbout this town in my next letter. Az before, ZEKE BILKINS. LETTER FROM MRS. BILKINS. Subscribe to the Enterprise. She is Anxious to Find Her Husband and Tells What She is Doing at Fuquay. Deer Mr. Editor: Kin vu tell me how I kin--sit on the track ov mv husband, Zeke Bilkins? FTfi maid hiz disannearenee frum theze diggins sum time ergo, and al t.hn' Tvb lipflrn f rum him off an' on hez bin silent so long I'm af eared sum o them gals up in Washington or Baltymoore hez cut me out. T shore do miss him. an i m ffom ter tell yu the trooth. I think a sight o' that bald hed an' them grey chin-whiskers, an' it woudn't be good fer no young upstart ter rope in my companyun. Mo an' Zeke hez milled' two. long in dnhhle harness ter think ov makin' enny changes. I think he treeted me rele mean ter slip off an leeve me set t in' back hear at Fuquay "barkin' at the tree," so ter speak, an' him a travlm over the kuntry a seem ov sites. Thpro's a nlentv ov sites rite hear cf he only keered ter look at 'em. Thar's a littlo Mrs. bunshme Johnson with three little John- m's. an' mp an' her is omte good f reends. She calls her hus- bair "Sunshine," but Black Shad der or thunder cloud would suit him a sight better. Talk about "onery critters," but he is the oneriest 1 ev r see ! He'd spile the temper ov an ark angel. He grumbles at this, that Vind tnther till mv dander nzes ter sieh a pich I kin hardly refrnne frum tnrnin' him down and ffivin him a ole fashion tannin' like sum ov them Bible riters ment when they sed "spair the rod and raiz young-uns for the penitenshury," er wurds ter that effeck. T r-nld do it too. for he only ways about 130 pounds, and I tip the beem at 247V2-' ' But now I'm like the preecher go in' inter do talcs and loozin' the throd ov mv discoarse. I like Fu quay fine. Hit air a stilish summer resort. There iz lots ov peepLe, and they seam ter fatten on biskits maid up with bak in' powder. Give me gude ole fashion sody an' buttymilk like me and Zeke is used ter. I tell you theze nice cule 1110 ru in's I git real home sick fer a bach ov my biskits, spred with butter made frum Sukey's milk. Add ter that sum jucy North Caroliny ham an' sum straned hunney, an' Zeke a-set-tin' facin me, lissenin' ter me run nin' mv iavv. an' vu have the finest t y pickcher in the lan', tu my way ov thinkin , Now this hear Fuquay water iz in great demand ; sum times the rane kivers the spring over, an' then they nil spz that tharo roomaticks an' nther alements iz cumin' back an' go ter wishin' fer a drink ov cool spring water. , T toll 'em I've cot sum in my rume ez fine fer awl alements ez kin be maid, so I treets 'em all out ov my wash picher where I jest poared sum Iron Bitters (I spelt that ott the hnttlp) t.pr mflkn it taist mmerallv It air shorely maid whether it iz fine er not, an' they awl goes erway feel in' better; so like the poet, I say, "Whar ig-erunce is bliss it's folly ter hep. wize " if vou no what that meens. Thar is two stoars and a post-offis hear, an' we kin git awl we kin pay fer, an' a hole bunnel o' gossup chunked in free ov charge. - We no all erbout the yung lady who kicked her felle,r an' every body else's bizness. By the way, like awl young peepul, he cum ter me with his trubbul, an' I consoled him ez much ez I could an' not fergit my companyun, Zeke. I felt like takin' him on my nee an' sayin': "Thar, thar, honey, I'll git her for yu ef I kin.' But thinkin' ov Zeke, I refraned. He's got it bad, fer he maid up the-.-most poetical rime: "0 how sweet, an' yit how bitter, Ter luv a gal an' then not git her." Thare iz a house party frum Roily out hear, an' I wish yu cood see the goin's on. Them gals jist runs wild. They ware thare Sunday does every day an' thare Ester soots on Sun day. The men look jist like they jumped out ov bed, an' I'd be asham ed ter go before folks in them white costooms; they make me blush, an' if my Zeke shood cum out ov our rume like that I'd march him back ter bed an' tell him that costoom goes rite erlong with a dost ov Sass priller or blue mass. I prefur men in black; it makes 'em look a little -whiter, and the good Lord knows they need help er long thet line. They tell me you air a bachler. Mister Editur, an' if you air, I hope you'll hurry an' find a girl to smooth your ruff, rocky rode, I'm a beleever in marriage, myself. Think it an oner ter be a bachler, Mr. Editur? If I didn't have Zeke, I'd be tempt ed nixt Leep Year ter try my luck. But I hope, awlso, that ef you git one (a gal, I meen) she won't treet yu like the gal I've menshuned treeted hr feller. I'd ruther yu wodn't try it at awl, tho' sum sez " 'Tis better tu a luved and lost than never tu a luved." How erbout that, Mr. Editur? Now I reckon I'd better cloze, or I'll be like Zeke sez, "Wound up so tite I wouldn't run dom in eight days." . .;.'-,-' '-',-.'- Jjot me no whar Zeke iz, ef .sum ov yu kin, pleeze; I'm poorly, and hon gry fer a site ov him ; but don't tell him, he's spilt enuff now. Yourn trooly, BETSY BILKINS. By hand, in haste. Garner News. Correspondence of the Enterprise. Three cases before the mayor. Fined $2.50 each and cost. Mrs. Cassie Brooks is spending a few weeks in Durham with her daughter, Mrs. T. 1). Pace. Miss Callie Ford spent Saturday and Sunday visiting her brother at Clayton. - Rev. D. II. Tuttle. of Favetteville, gave a very nice lecture at the Meth odist church of Garner last Thurs- day evening. J. N. N. Smith, township consta- continues as officer of the township: he is also chief Jof -police, police ser geant, captain and patrolman, lamp lighter and health examiner. Lookr out, Uncle Zeke. C. II. W. Garner, N. C., Sept. 13.
The Caucasian (Clinton, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Sept. 14, 1905, edition 1
1
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75