Newspapers / The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, … / Jan. 30, 1936, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
WARDROBE TROUBLES They were speeding In a taxi to ward the theater. “I wish you hadn’t made me dvess up. I—er—” he began. “Nonsense, dear,” she replied. "You look nice in your dress Clothes.” “I wish I hadn't, all the same.” “I never saw such a man.” “All the same, I think we ought to turn back.” "We’re ten minutes late already. What’s the Idea?” “Well. I’ve Just remembered that I left the tickets In my brown suit.” A Bad Fall “You are late, William!" said the schoolmaster. "Yes, sir. I had a nasty fall this morning!” was the reply. “Where did you fall?” asked the master. “Well, sir, after mother called me I fell asleep again!” Hazing “Is there much hazing In your school?” “Yes,” said the student. “We’re rather polite among ourselves, but every now and then we stir the board of education up to haze a professor.” Lucky Wife Guest—You certainly have one of the most polite and attentive hus bands I ever saw. Wife (smiling)—Yes, you see, he used to be an attendant at a filling station. SO WHAT? Landlady—I’ll give you just one •day in which to pay your rent. Hoarder—Very well. I’ll choose next Christmas. « • Taking No Chances ■“Now be sure and write plain on both of them bottles which is for my wife and which for the cow.” the farmer told the druggist, who was tilling two prescriptions for him. “That’s a Jersey cow and I don’t wunt anything to happen to her.” Couldn't Predict the Future “I’ve come to ask for your daugh ter’s hand.” “When were you first struck by her?” "Well—er—we haven’t quarreled so far.”—Stray Stories Magazine. Close Friends Mother—I wish you’d punish Bobby. He’s been fighting with Harry again. Dad—With Harry? 1 thought they were Inseparable. Mother—They pretty nearly were. It took four of us to drag them apart I Natural Science * Satnbo—Why am It dat a black cow gives white milk dat makes yellow butter? Itastus—For de same reason (lat | blackberries am red when dey is green. Not Seen Since Manager—Have you seen the cashier this morning? Clerk—Yes, he came in without a mustache, and borrowed a rail way time table.—Stray Stories Mag azine. FASHION NOTE * “Do you believe In love at first | OUR COMIC SECTION • c THE FIRST SPINACH By gluyas williams WONDERS WHA-f -This NEW FOOD )5 MOrfriPR HAS <5lV£N tastes it wmV -» -*1---—' NO,THANKS! MVS SPOON DOWN HASfiLY USfEKS WlfHOUf IHI'ERESf 1l> MOTHER'S SALES TALK ON MOW SOOD SPlKACH IS FOR _-)) BABIES PUSHES BOWL AW^ fO SHOW what he Thihks or if REWJ2ES WiTH $|WWH6 HEART That mother seems de - termiked _ 15 CORNERED AT LA5f AND Takes a spoonfol, sthl STRlJ6&UN<j> > ——■ - I— ■ —I IfcSfES Ei>£N WORSE "tvlAH ME fri0l)6H1\ Btrt DOWKS if All Af LfVSf COMFORTS HIMSELF BY SUCKING Thumb, happily not realizing HIS LIFETIME BATTLE TO AVOID SPINACH HAS ONLY UlKf BEGUM iwp/rigut, XWV) ujr xuB sen ojiw <aic, uiv./ THE FEATHERHEADS ew5L%%™....Exchange I WISH WEL Could Go \ AWAy FOR. A WHILE, / FEU*, «U r/ vsx-/ ^ HUH? WHO WAS THE FATHER OF that wish£_^ • couldmT |_ HE (SET IT BACK? / he COULW-T ' , I DECIDE WHETHER \jtV4E SUIT WAS r WORTH MORE WN ' -the euamkeT and •SILVERWARE tHpV '—1 well- The FUcmersV whatS the are talking- r-r^REASoM They ABOUT TAKING _ WANT To ToUR A run down the hotels aGai/4 W South -ARe They v—\\ RUNNING- SHorT / . fLSSS^iiir WHATEVER- I—. / AMD I BET \ The reasoM- v thev pon't ^ ■fMEV ARE - I. <So— THE TALKING ABOUT | LAST TIME ME TAKING A LEFT A -SUIT r WEEK- lN ^ HOTEL) „ _r*r7---* • '* •• V. * FINNEY OF THE FORCE .SaiSSifclast Straw HERE YiEZ HE- 1 AN* YEZ SHURE ?E _ A LUCKY LAD, ' « -jYez. Afce MICKY? 1H.S —^- BRINGS NOTHING* J§P BUT WOE s Birr »T Could ( ^ &g WORSE- J y/oR — 1 wrec brand NEW CAR-WINED' ©‘ffS— I fcKoice mV dot am tip— WILL LOSE ^TOB ANp— 1 won't BE ABLE To <30 -TO “TH MoviES -Toni v •__ _ TRY AGAIN Two moo loft a banquet together. They bad dined exceptionally wall. “When yon get home,” aald one, “If you don’t want to disturb year family, undress at the foot of the stain, fold your clothes neatly and creep up to your room.” The next day they met at lunch. “How did you get ont” asked the adviser. “Rotten 1” replied the other. *T took off all my c|othes at the foot of the stairs, as yon told me, and folded them up neatly. I didn’t make a sound, but when I reached the top of the stairs—It was the ‘V station.”—Royal Arcanum Bulletin. EXCEEDED SPEED LIMIT I ' ' * \ *My husband doesn’t think much of the air service.” ‘‘How’s that?” "He sent a check to a man In Chicago and It got hack to his bank before he had the money to meet It"” Took tbo Loss An elderly man, seemingly quite deaf, handed the cashier 35 cents to pay for his ,meal check. The cashier smiled and said: “It will cost 38 cents, Uncle Tom.” “What did"you say?” “Thirty-six cents. Uncle Tom," she shouted, “for the tax. I’ll give you some mills back.” "I don’t want any mills. Just want to pay for my dinner.” “Okay, Uncle Tom,” as she sadly shook her head and muttered, “Some one else will have the pleas* ure of explaining this tax to him.” Wotta Mona! The little girl was tired of wait ing for the store clerk to pay some attention to her, so she resorted to strategy. “Hey," she called. “My father Is home waiting for his break fast” The clerk succumbed. “What can 1 do for you?” • “I want a bar of soap, a bottle of ammonia, and a can of lye.”— Boston Globe. Popularisation “Are you doing anything for your country?” “I am,” answered Mr. Dustin Stax. “What our patriotism needs Is expert salesmanship. I'm going to have the United States Constitu tion Illustrated with Hollywood pho tographs and shove It over the newsstands as a best seller.” Deserved It Adam and Eve were naming the animals of the earth when along came a rhinoceros. Adam—What shall we call this one? Eve—Let's call It a rhinoceros. Adam—But why a rhinoceros? Eve—Well, it looks n*pre. like a rhinoceros than anything we’ve named yet. HIGHBROWS She—Why Is It you never men tion your ancestors? He—Because I believe In letting bygones be bygones. - — Never Mind the Singing Friend—Do come and spend the evening with us. My daughter will sing and {.lay, and at nine o’clock we have supper. Man—I will be there at nine o’clock prompt Puzzle Dept. "I hear Jinks has got a Job with the railroad. What sort of position Is It?" “He’s In the puzzle department.” “What do you mean?” - “He makes out the time tables.” Bento AO Drummer—Yes, ol’ fellow. I’m the fastest man In the world. Violinist—How come? Drummer—Time flies, doesn't Itt Well, I beat time. a ■rinc Directions where did Leap Year Is With Us Again, and Here’s What Causes It A! Keeps Seasons in Order, Gives Fair Maidens Their Chance. This Is leap year and February 29 is the cause of It. But the cause of February 29 dates back to 46 B O. when the astronomers of Julius Caesar figured out that the solar year (the time It takes the earth to complete its orbit around the sun) was 363 days and six hours. The six hours stumped them until they decided to add an extra day to every fourth year and make that 366th day February 29. This is "leap” year because the extra day causes the calendar to leap over a day of the week after February 29. Ordinarily the calendar rotates Just one day because 363 Is one over 52 seven day weeks. Thus,' March 1 fell on Friday last year, but will fall on Sunday Instead of Saturday this jrai. Pope 8uppreeeee Ten Day*. The Julian astronomers didn’t have the thing down pat, however, for the solar year is actually 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 45.51 seconds. By the time Pope Gregory XIH decided to act In 1582 A. D. the dates of the year had shifted 10 days out of season. To correct this Pope Gregory ordered that October 5, 1582, be made October 15, 1582. To take care of the discrepancy oc curring thereafter Pope Gregory’s astronomers decided that leap year should be omitted on every century year not divisible by 400. Leap year won’t be surpressed again until 2100 A. D. Anyway, leap year has a more ro mantic aspect By tradition, If not by practice, It Is the time a woman can propose marriage to a man. The origin of this counter attack In the love suit Is less satisfactorily ex plained than the Julian -and Grego rian calendars. But apparently Margaret of Nor way, who became queen of Scotland, started the thing In 1288 A. D. by saying there ought to be a law. She decreed that during the leap years of her reign every “mayden ladye of bothe hlghe and lowe estalt shall hae Uberte to bespeake ye mad she likes.” And If a bachelor didn’t like taking the proponent to be his lawful “wyfe”.he could be “mulcted” (fined) one pound or less. His only “out" was to be already engaged. " Calendar Accepted Rapidly. The Gregorian calendar was ac cepted In Italy, Spain, and Portugal on the same day it was ordered In Rome. In France It was accepted be fore the year was ended and in 1583 by the Catholic states of Germany. The German Protestant states re tained the Julian calendar until 1700 when Sweden and Denmark also changed to the Gregorian or “new Never Say Dio •"It is said that we shall pass away as a tale' that is told.” “But tales that are told don’t pass away;, they are forever being told again.”—Exchange. The Drawback "And you swore you’d always treat me like a queen 1” "Well, ’ang it, I ain’t ’Enry the Eighth.”—Bystander, London. Jut a Little Love Professor—What Is It? Nurse—A boy, sir! Professor—What does he want?— Border Cities Star. So They Do Wlfey—I wonder why It Is that a nautical mile Is nearly a seventh longer than a mile on land? ^ Hubby—Well, darling,''that’s' very simple. You know things swell in water. : Atta Boy! Overheard on a dance floor the other night: Him—Say, little girl, do your eyes bother you? Her—No—why? Him—Well, they bother met— Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. [YOO COOLON Tl m WISH FOR I ■ SETTER 1 ■ FLAVOR 7HANI ^WRlQLEY’sJ style” gale, Julian calendar was formed. In Great Brlti—_ dar was abolished by the act of I That same year saw thh the BrltlelTcoIonles in A birthday of George Was which was February 11 undgr tij||fr Julian calendar, became February-St;' when the change occurred.—Chicago Tribune. All-Occasion Frock That Is Flattering Here's an all-occasion frock of great charm and versatility which you can make with very little effort, and at a surprising saving. There’s * flattery—there’s loveliness, in every line, whether you’ve a naturally youthful silhouette, or one more gen erously proportioned. Don’t you love (jhe smooth simplicity of a V-shaped, yoke, and the dainty bit of rich lace at the throat? It’s grand and warm In sheer wool—dressy In novelty crepe, lustrous or dull satin. Pattern 2388 is available In sizes* 16, 18, 20, 34, 36, 38, 40, 42 and 44. Size 36 takes 3% yards 39 Inch fabric, ... and % yard 4 Inch lace. Illustrated step-by-step sewing Instructions In cluded. SEND FIFTEEN CENTS (I5c) to ■ v coins or stamps (coins preferred) for $ this pattern. Write plainly name,' address'and style number., BR SURE TO STATE SIZE. Address orders to the Sewing Cir cle Pattern Dept, 243 W. Seventeenth St, New York City. ,# __ .. Wheat More Deadly Than Dynamite as Ship Cargo Wheat Is one of the most danger ous cargoes carried by ocean freight ers, because It may shift and cause a heavy list, or, when wet,' generate a gas that In the heat of the hold. Is an explosive as deadly as dyn amite. i 4 Wheat has caused many ship-* wrecks, among them being that of the British steamer Antinoe, which sank in mid-Atlantic in 1826.—Col lier’s. . . UNTIL THEN
The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Jan. 30, 1936, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75