Newspapers / The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, … / May 7, 1936, edition 1 / Page 4
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UR COMIC SECTION Events in the Lives of Little Men THE FEATHERHEADS By Osborne e Western Newspaper Union Just Clowning OH LOOK— . Circus Poster/ covuncs- __/ NEXT / ( momTh WE HAVEN'T Been) To A CIRCUS' IN SEARS L I REMEMBER -fHe last OMB—ALL 1HOS& THRlLLlMfS* ACTS—IT WAS — U4T6NS6/ HEAM— SZJRE HO-MOj CIRCUSES ARE AMD I PEMEMBEP HOW FASCINATED N'OZJ WERE BV THE LAPV WITH THE SNAKES l FINNEY OF THE FORCE By Ted D'LovchBa © By Wot fra N««|np»r Union, A Different Aim pisn&L PAM6E I WELL, SARGt— I MADE A PAk/dY SCORE —BEST - 6ood/ j f V4ELL-IF VoU COULP SHOOT Like VoU CAM EAT—VoU'D BE i THE CHAMPEEM' TwAL-lF Ol HAD AS 1 MUCH PRACTISE SWooTiN AS Ol HAVE HAD EATIn i NO DOUBT Ol WOULD L BE- BETTER. AT IT * Wi\ A a<n/) GLLlSJL Humoii ALL ALIKE Jackson met an old school friend whom he had not seen for a number of years. “Hallo, old chap,” he said heart ily. “I hear you've been engaged for nearly a year. Who Is the wom an In the easel” “I don't think yon know her,” re plied Jackson. “She’s a Miss Terry." The other shook his head gravely. “I understand, old chap,” he re plied. “I’ve been married to one for ten years, and she’s still a pystery.” —Stray Stories. Not Fair Two patients were airing their grievances In the asylum grounds. Said one: “It’s an outrage. I’ve been here ten years, and I’m as sane as anybody.” “So am L” chinned In the other, “and I’ve been here 12 years. Let’s go and tell the Governor.” “Walt a minute,” said the first “I’m going to test you." Then, putting her hands behind her back, she said: “What have I got In my hand?” “A tramcar,” promptly answered the other. “You cheat!” was the heated re tort. “You saw me pick It up!’’— Tlt-Blts. ONE WAY “But your fiance’s salary is so small how are you going to lire?” “Oh, we’re going to economize. We’re going to do without a lot of things that Tom wants.” Pinch Hitting At a marriage service performed In a little country church, when the minister said In solemn tones, “Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, ett.?” Instead of the wom an answering'for herself, a gruff man’s voice answered, “I will!” The minister looked up, very! much perplexed, and paused. He re peated the sentence and again the same gruff voice answered, “I will 1" The minister looked up, when a man seated at the end of the first row said, “She’s deaf, parson, an’ I’m answerin’ for her I” Everyoqe a Loier A small boy came hurriedly down the street, and halted breathlessly In front of a stranger who was walking In the same direction. “Have you lost half a dollar?” he asked. “Yes, yes, I believe I have!” said the stranger, feeling in his pocket. “Have you found one?” “Oh, no,” said the boy. “I Just want to find out how many have been lost today. Yours makes 65." Final Refuge “Is there anything in this job of tax collector—any future in It?" “Well, when you’re through they’ll let you In at some home for the friendless." OCCUPATIONAL "Sometimes Sue speaks and some* times she doesn’t.” "Yes. She got that way since she took a position In the telephone exchange.” Correct Definition In the course of a general knowl edge test, some small boys were asked: “If your mother is shopping and finds she has left her purse at home, she may ask the shopkeeper to send the parcel C. O. D. What do these Initials mean?” It was a very earnest boy, not yet old enough for frivolity, who an swered: “Care of Daddy." In Use First Neighbor—May I use your telephone? Second Ditto—Certainly 1 Is yours out of order? First Dllto—Not exactly, but mf. sister Is using it to hold up the f STAR f ! DUST ! ★_ _ „ ★ ★ ★ * $ Movie • Radio * ★★★By VIRGINIA VALE*** EVERYONE who sees Har riet Hilliard in “Follow the Fleet" or hears her sing on the radio with Ozzie Nelson’s band ought to meet her as well; she’s decidedly worth meeting. To begin with, she is much prettier In real life than In pictures. And to see her as the de mure music teacher who, as Ginger Rogers’ sister, falls In love with Randolph Scott, gives you no Idea whatever of what sort of girl she Is. She Is magnetic, delightful, charming. And she Is one of the few girls who have a career thrust upon diem. She never did want to go on the stage, but she had to earn her liv ing. And when she was very young her mother pointed out to her the fact that It’s better to train for a profession that pays well than for one that never will bring In much money. "Better a dancer at one hundred a week than a stenog rapher at fifteen,” said Mamma, or words to that effect. So Harriet be came a dancer. She appeared at one of Broadway’s big movie houses, and on the road in musical shows. And she worked so hard that, at nineteen, she had to stop. “If you want to get ahead In Hol lywood nowadays, It’s better not _to be too good looking,” remarked a fan magazine ed itor the other day. She has been meet ing movie stars for some fifteen years now, and knows what she Is talking about. ‘‘Hepburn Isn’t beautiful," said she. “Neither Is Doris Dudley. Katherine KHU’S newest dis Hepbum covery. But they both have talent. Hollywood is too full of beauties who’ve been signed up for a few months, and more beauties who came out here hoping for the best, and finishing as waitresses.” ■■ Will Hays, president of the Mo tion Picture Producers and Distribu tors of America (what a title!) has decided that one week in May will be Memorial week for Will Rogers; during that week the Will Rogers Memorial at Saranac Lake will be dedicated. But Will Rogers did so many things that will make peo. pie remember him that he needs no other memorial. For a long time it has been Ruby Keeler’s ambition to be a great woman golfer; being a good actress and a marvelous dancer meant little In comparison to that She’s been playing golf for some time, and recently she went Into the Southern California woman’s tournament,- won three matches, and was put out in the last round. Looks as if she might achieve that ambi tion after all. —-k— Did you hear the recent broad cast of Paul Whiteman’s birth day celebration? Of course, It came at a bad hour—one thirty in the morn ing Eastern Stand ard time; NBC kept Its line open after midnight for It The Paul Whiteman alumni staged It— and what a list of well-known people once worked for ————— Paul t Morton Dow- Bing Croaby ney, Bing Crosby, Jane Froman, Ferde . Grofe and George Gershwin, the composers, and Mary Margaret McBride. And apeaklng of Morton Downey, ha’s sailing In May to keep concert engagements In England and Ire land—and how he loves to go to Ire land 1 Here’s a funny check-up on the popularity of radio programs. In London they’ve found that during a really big broadcast the consump tion of water drops 85 per cent ODDS AND ENDS . . . These Three" it a picture that you can’t af ford to mitt... Toby Wing it actually going to make a picture at latt . . . “The Trail of the Lonetome Pine" it tuch a success everywhere that all the ttudiot are going in for outdoors pic tures . . . Leslie Howard?s ton Ronald hat' been working at an extra in "Romeo and Juliet P ... Shirley Temple hat learned to ride a bicycle and tie’s crasy about it.. . “Little Lord Fount leroy* it a grand picturisation of the famout book, although Freddie Bar tholomew had hit way and does not wear golden curlt or a velvet suit... Incidentally, hit father and mother are still trying to get part of Us earnings ,.. Paramount will make four pictures in color . . . And Twentieth Century Fax will film “Ramona" the tame way First thing toe know, black and wiR ■' ‘ Flood Prevention Is Matter of Checking Soil Erosion Rain Is Ahead Unless Some Action Is Taken, Expert Says. Such disastrous floods as those of recent weeks csn be prevented only by vast undertaking* to prevent pelt erosion, according to government ex perts. *"• '<■ They attribute these floods to de nuding the soil of tbe vegetation that receives and holds water In the soil and holda the top soil In place The water from rains and melting snow now rashes over the bare soil without sinking In and carries the top soil away, to boot Thus our fertile soil la steadily being washed Into the aea, and life and property are more and more Im periled by floods. Example of a coun try that did not perceive the same danger now confronting us is China, denuded of trees and other natural vegetation hundreds of years ago and now the perennial victim of the most disastrous floods since the time of Noah. Millions Spent We have spent hundreds of mil lions of dollars In attempts to con trol floods once they develop, but we scarcely have begun to attack the problem at the source—tbe preven tion of floods. Under a new government subsidy much may be done to restore the fertility of , soli and something may be done to halt the wind erosion of tbe soli that produces the great dust storms of the last few years. But virtually nothing will be done toward permanent reclothing of the soil with the verdure necessary to the absorp tion of flood waters at the source. Morris L. Cooke, engineer and ad ministrator of rural electrification, has been preaching for years the ruin that awaits us unless we mend our ways. 8oll Erosion Damage. “We must attack the problem of soil erosion control as we would an armed foe about to defeat us,” said Mr. Cooke. “Let things go on as they now are going and in 60 years we will have a total area Of really fer tile land not much more than three times the size of Nebraska. We are likely to go the way of Asia Minor and Tibet unless we sense our dan gerous situation and act promptly.” This Is no fanciful picture, accord ing to Mr. Cooke. A single dust storm, he says, has swept away as much as 300,000,000 tons of fertile top soil from the wheat beit; the Mississippi river carries 400,000,000 tons of ,top soil to the- Gulf. of Mexico every year; more than 100,0000.000 acres already have been destroyed as crop bearing soli, while another 125,000, 000 acres have been seriously im paired for crop bearing and an addl <fi -SMILES If* * Big Place Teacher—Bobby, do you know the population of Chicago? ' Bobby—Not all of them, Miss Shaw, we’ve only lived here three years. King for a Day A. —What would you do If you could be a king for one day only? B. —I would borrow ao much money that I could live carefree the rest of my life. - To iha Bittor End Mr. Snap—My motto Is: What la worth dolifg Is worth doing well. Mrs. Snap—I notice that when you make a fool of yourself. Sava* Timo Mrs. Youngbrlde (telephoning gro cer)—1 want you to send me two pounds of beefsteak. Grocer—What kind would you like? Mrs. Youngbrlde—I’d like it rare, please. Stolon Ki**o« Husband—If a man steals, no mat ter what It Is, be will lire to re gret it Wife (eoyly)—You used to steal kisses from me before we were mar ried. Husband—Well, your heard what I said. 1 "v'lT’-ror1*1 II ENJOY WRIGLEY’S j -A-VYHItE. VOU, WORK tional 100,000,000 acre* are seriously threatened. The total annual damage amounts to $400,000,000. “We unwittingly hare broken tha balance of nature's forces," says Mr. Cooke, "by» clet ring too/much of- our forests, turning under too much of our sod, and gnudng too much of the remainder In such manner as> to'de-. stray the , grass roots, We hare ' planted tHe,dug ditches and straight* ened and cleared creeks and rivers to hasten run-off. Consequently less rain and snow penetrates Into under* ground storage. More of It rushes to | the sea without benefit to us and carries with It valuable top soil. The nation's only real flood safety, according to H. H. Bennett, chief of the soil conservation service, lies in a nation-wide program of crop adap tation, rotation, and reforestation calculated to hold American top soil, particularly that of hilly and moun tainous regions, where It belongs, and. to give. It the utmost degree of porosity so that heavy rains will have a fair chance to drain oft un derground. Colorful Embroidery Picture for Your Wall Patters 5527 In honor of spring your house de serves a colorful new wall-hanging such as this, which depicts roses and lilacs In their natural splendor. You’ll enjoy embroidering It—it’s so easy even a beginner will be won over to this delightful occupation. The lilacs are In lazy daisy—the roses In satin and outline stitch; and you needn’t frame It—just line It and hang It up. In pattern 5527 you will find a transfer pattern of a hanging 15 by 20 inches; a color chart; material requirements; Illustrations of all stitches needed; directions for mak ing the hanging. Send fifteen cents In coins or stamps (coins preferred) to The Sewing Circle, Household Arts Dept, 259 W. 14th St, New York, N. Y. Familiarity Familiarity makes us care- ' less and unobservant But there comes a day when we observe : and think. Then we suffer. As a a boy I loved life and country things. I used to get np to see ! the sun, as an old divine I once r read remarks, "coming forth from ; his chambers In the East” I have ! come In to breakfast drenched in dew. How It used to glisten and . sparkle in the morning light 1 But ■ that Is all a thousand years be hind.—J. A. Stewart Brave deeds are most estimable when hidden . . . What was finest In them was the desire to hide them.—Pascal. Cramffog His Style , “Are you ah angel, daddy}’’ "Of course not I Why?’’ > "Because 1 heard mother say she - was going to clip your wings.” The Very Ideal Miss—Did anyone ever tell you bow | wonderful you are? Youth—No; 1 don’t think ever. did. Miss—Then Td like to knw you get the Idea. NO SUCH COURAGE Miss Flirt—Two strangs m< spoke to me on the street today. Old Aunt Sarah—Huh 1 A stranger | never tries to speak to me.
The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
May 7, 1936, edition 1
4
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