Newspapers / The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, … / Aug. 27, 1936, edition 1 / Page 4
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OUR COMIC SECTION Events in the Lives of Little Men rtCW FAR AWAVj TtilC — IS w DIMMING ?00L'? OO Vwm.. c i'uTaumT Ht B0X>6HT JM^AwNW, &SKfflfe'«&«•»« ItlVUET IT- ; THE KNOTS ; HOLO 0ETTEE FINNEY OF THE FORCE *~21sSS. Empty Logic WI4U4 Vez. POUKlP ^ •fH* OWNER O'Trt’ SHTORE ToiED iiP B'RO&BERS y/HV DIDN’T VEX CALL TH* P'LEECg ROKfMT i 'WAV? i ^THEV 'tooic\ all *ThE MOMEV There wasmt I AHiCKLE LEFT IN "THE TILL FOR THE PHONE— 1 3?o You ThikJK \ r I WAS <SOMER \ USE MY OWM ) V—MOMEY2 / Lie n. —AMD BESIDES 1 | WASM’T SURE N WHAT HAPPEMED 1»LL l SOT HIS NECKTl E OUT OP HIS MOUTH— \Mal— WHIM IT COMBS -TERRAINS— ©I'LL SAY WE'RE HEAP/ BE A VACUUM/ ioH YEAH— SAY ALL YOU WANT— THAT ,i , MEANS NUTHlH fa ME/ THE FEATHERHEADS By Osborne © Weetem Newspaper Union In Training HOW ABOUT PUHNIMS- \ DOWM To ThE | BEACH- J TAKE A \ IMP ? J I 1 swell! SET the car out— i’ll SET the SUITS / up HERE/ wm I’M TAKIM(y- ) r A bath/ J CAUGHT IT, TOO The club bore was relating one of his long-winded stories that every body knew by heart He was de scribing what happened to him when he went on a trip to the Grand Canyon in America during a world tour. "The soft curtain of night was just falling,” he orated. “There I stood, drinking in the scene, with the giant abyss yawning before me—” One of his listeners interrupted at this point. “I say, old chap,” he asked, "was that abyss yawning before you got there?” , - Figures “The star we have discovered,” said the astronomer, "is revealed by light which started 3,000 years ago, traveling at the rate of 186, 400 miles per second, which would make-” "Go ahead!” said the political economist “Make your string of figures as long as you like. But for the love of Heaven, and also of earth, don’t put a dollar mark in front of them!” BUDDIE KNOWS Sister—Ben says he’ll give you a quarter to go to the movies when he calls this evening. Jimmy—I’d rather stay home and see real life. Take a Couple of Days Off First Veteran—They’ve just in vented a new type machine gun for the next war. Second Veteran — How many rounds in a belt? First Veteran—They load this gun on Sunday and shoot it for the rest of the week!—Foreign Service. Didn’t Know It Was Loaded Judge—You admit you drove over this man with a loaded truck? Driver—Yes, your honor. Judge—And what have you to say in your defense? Driver—I didn’t know it was loaded. A Selfish Constituency “Are you going to send your con gressman back to Washington?” “No,” replied Farmer CorntosseL "We’ve found out that he’s such good company that we’ve decided to keep him home.” Business as Usual Abe (who has discovered a bur glar in his house)—Hands up or I’ll shoot. Quick-witted Burglar — Twenty dollars for the gun, Abe—Sold. Opportunity Ho—I read that the Treasury at Washington launders old dollar bills. Bo—I’d sure like to know where they hang ’em out to dry. Flam Silly Bud—How much are the plums? Huckster—Six for a nickel. Bud—Gimme one. Huckster—Throwin’ a party? TIP TO DADDY “Pa, what a funny word ‘whole some* is.” “What’s funny about it?” “Why take away the whole of it and you have some left.” Out of Respect First Fisherman: I saw ye oot wi’ the new meenister this morn in*. Did he hae a guid catch? Second Fisherman—No, he had nae whisky, so oot o’ respec’ for his teetotal principles, I took him where there was nae bass.—Mon treal Star. Continued— Boss of Advertising Office—See what you can do with this break fast food ad. Young Aspiring Copy Writer— rao use—can’t writ* cereal stories. Adventurers* Hand-Made Inferno” By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter GATHER 'round the soda fountain, boys and girls. Mike Foley is standing treat. Mike lives at Jackson Heights, N. Y„ and he’s going to treat us to a swell yarn. Mike’s an old hand at this treating business. He was doing it professionally as far back as June, 1884—the month and year in which he had his big adventure. But don’t get the idea that Mike went aronnd handing out ten-cent cigars like a guy that’s trying to be elected alderman. Not on your life. Mike was an oil treater—one of the lads who processed kerosene so it could be burned in lamps. And a mighty dangerous Job that was, too. Mike worked for the Standard Oil company at a big refinery and* storage yard that was then located in Long Island City. Lightning Strikes Huge Oil Tank! The tanks in which the oil was treated, and on which Mike worked, were huge affairs twenty feet in diameter and thirty or more feet high. You got to the top of them by wooden stairways. And up the side of each tank ran a pair of six-inch pipes that carried the chemicals with which the oil was treated. Well sir, to get down to the story, Mike Foley was up on the top of one of the big tanks giving its contents a good, thorough treating. Part of that job consisted of blowing compressed air through the oil, and that was often a messy procedure. Oil would slop over the side of the tank and saturate the wooden staircase. That was not only messy, but dangerous—as subse quent events amply demonstrated. A thunderstorm was brewing while Mike was inside, under cover of the tank’s sheltering top. The storm broke, about quarter after two in the afternoon, and about two-thirty he heard a loud crack. Light ning! It had struck the tank. Mike Moves Swiftly to Close Trap Doors. Mike’s two bosses had gone to the office to give in their reports. Mike was all alone in the tank, so it was up to him. He ran out from under the shelter-roof to see what had happened. The lightning had struck I - . Ml1.1'""JM ,— HZ _ The Whole Stair Was a Raging Inferno of Fire. all right. The oil-soaked, wooden stairs were on fire. The blaze, start ing apparently from the top, had spread down four or five steps by the time Mike got there. / There was one thing that had to be done, then—done mighty qnickly, too. Around the top of the tank were five trap doors^ wide open to let out the gases that formed in the tank daring' treatments. Those doors had to be closed before the fire got through them and the whole tank went hp In flames. Mike dashed for the doors. He got one closed—then another. At that point he turned and took a look at the burning stairway. The flames had spread down four or five more steps. The fire was blazing with even greater fury. Casabianca Really Had Nothing on Mike And that wasn’t all that was worrying Mike, either. Any minute now—doors or no doors—the tank might take fire and go up with a big WHOOSH! And where would that leave Mike? Not much of anywhere, to tell the truth about it Just let that tank get going good, and Mike would be trapped. There wouldn’t be much left of him but a few cinders when it was all over. • The thought put new energy into him. He got the next three doors closed in Jig time. And then he went back to the stairway that was his only avenue of escape. But when Mike got to the stairway, he stopped. No use trying to get down there. Not only the whole stair, but likewise the platform leading to it, was a raging inferno of flame. The timbers that supported it had been eaten through by the blaze. If Mike wasn’t trained to death on the way down, he’d be killed in a fall when the weakened sup ports broke and sent him crashing to earth. ‘‘So there I stood,” says Mike, “forty-five feet from the ground, like young Casabianca—the boy who stood on the burning deck. A crowd had gathered down below, and about eight hundred men who worked in the loading sheds near the dock were yelling to me to jump. I didn’t want to do that—it would have been almost as bad as burning to death. Still, I couldn’t stay up there, either. Most any minute that tank might go up with a roar—and take me along with it.” Mike Was a Good Hand on the Flying Rings. It looked pretty bad for Mike—but-he still had a trick or two up his sleeve. “At that time,” he says, “I was a member of the Star Athletic club of Long Island City, and I was pretty good on the flying rings. So I swung over the edge of the platform.” What followed after that brought gasps from the below. Like a circus acrobat, high overhead, he began himself along on the braces that held the platform up. traveled eight or ten feet around the side of the tank spectators saw what he was aiming at. Then they set up as Mike reached one of the six-inch pipes that ran down of the tank and began sliding to safety. “That pipe was so close to the tank,” says Mike, “that I my legs around it I had to grip it with my knees and slide about two inches at a time. But I got down all right skin I lost off my hands, and a new pair of pants I had to the ones I was wearing. They were ruined.” ©—WNU Servlet. Ancient Legends Account for Eclipse in Odd Ways Whether or not we believe that an eclipse is a portent of evil, the ancient races invariably linked it with disaster. In mythology an evil dragon was said to be lurking in the heavens and that he made periodical attempts to swallow the sun or the moon. In the Norse legends the sun and the moon-were driven across the heavens by char ioteers, with huge wolves ever in pursuit. The ancient Greeks held that the sun must always be pro vided with a chariot and horses to keep it sate, and once a year a chariot and four horses were thrown into the sunlit sea as an offering. Among many races, an eclipse ot the sun signified that the at .nH me had been by an evO monster. The •i'. •. only thing to save thi being devoured was away the monster 11 noises. The Chinese uj choruses and bang j Greenland the natives,^ to the roots of theii banged kettles and p as much noise as p© The oldest eclipse * believed to have be China. 2198 B. C.. rel in Pearson’s Weekly darins who practice were put to death tor having failed to ing of the phenom of Nineveh in 783 B. to have been tore et Amos when he shall come to pass I , will cause the at noon, and I Earth in the clear by Portrait of Kittens Done in Stitcheryj Pattern No. 5604 How can you resist this appeal-, ing pair of kittens? Their "por trait” on a pillow top or picture will add charm to your home aside from your pleasure in mak ing it. And how effective it is, worked quickly in colorful floss, the crosses an easy 8 to the inch. Since the motif requires but the merest outline, you’re finished be for you know it! In pattern 5604 you will find a. transfer pattern of these kittens, 13y* by 14 inches; a color chart’ and key, material requirements;1 illustrations of all stitches needed.1. To obtain this pattern send 15# cents in stamps or coins (coins; preferred) to The Sewing Circle; Household Arts Dept., 259 W.j Fourteenth St., New York, N. Y. Write plainly pattern number,; your name and address. 45-Foot Tide The largest known periodic tides in the Atlantic ocean and in th& world as a whole aoour in Minast Basin, Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia, where a mean range of 42 feet and a spring range of 45 feet have been reported. -■ .---.■ -■ > A NEW GIRL NOW SS-s BLACKHEADS-GET QUICK RELIEF WITH, FREE Bugle, writ* XuUcura" Dept 34.__ Malden. Man. J7/ SOAP amp O!NTM-EHT DOLLARS & HEALTH The successful person is a healthy per. son. Don't let yourself be handicapped by sick headaches, a sluggish condition, stomach “nerves'' and other dangerous signs of over-acidity. * «w. HEARTBURN how eating, overeating cessive drinking all When it comes, Your stomach is ""1 MELNESIAS original milk of m« neutralizes stomach add. : equals 4 teaspooniuls of mU* magnesia. Thin, crunchy, mint-flaro^ l* 20c, 35c & 60s at drug stores, . 35c*60t , iivvnvt ‘m • A k 20c Mm
The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 27, 1936, edition 1
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