Newspapers / The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, … / June 24, 1937, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
OUR COMIC SECTION JSj SNOOPIE STAY HERE. SNOOPIE, UNTIL YOU OET _ DRY / COME ON—BACK ! IN THE TUB l| VOU <30--/ M|!l The F E A T H E R I H E A D S lr Osborn* O—wwu VJELL—I'M GLAD To SEE A SPARK OP CHIVALRY— YOU'RE WALKING ON THE OUTSIDE—w»4y DIDN'T YOU DO IT before? * r. PRoTecTiM<3 mV pocket book, PEAR WES-WJlTH THAT HAT 'iOU CAM'T LOOK IKlTo the SHOP VSllMDOWS— I'M MEREL.V KEEPING VOU LdpD«lM(S- STRAIGHT AHEAD Vr F I N N E y OF THE F O R C E mud OlM|hliR ft—WNU 1' WHATS ^ iif> SERSEAMT? A GUV(^UFP-R/fiF, ■tRVlW' T"0 fcRREAK IM- N (PUFF-PUPP/) vyou WERE FtRlMfi- AT mm 'Till vou <SoT TO VIWE STREET LOSE SlSMT OF HIM there 2 SHT j NO. SOR— Ol lime INl that BLOCK AM’ Ol DIDM’T WANT T' WAKE" UP ME MISSUS CtaTTTTfflTlIlflU i"'. SOUR GRAPES , >ou ever engaged, Mary?” know bow I hate the men." '• what made me think you been engaged.” Sold! A surgeon, an architect and a pol itician were arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon: “Eve was made from Adams’ rib, and that surely was a surgical operation.” “Maybe,” said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out of chads, and that was an archi tectural job.” “But,” interrupted the politician proudly, “somebody must have cre ated the chaos!”—Mutual Magazine. IN THE MODE "Jane said my new dress looks sensible and comfortable." "Cheer up, girl. That was a mean thing to say, but I wouldn’t mind.’ Humorous /» PROUD FATHER Two parsons were having lunch at a farm during the progress of certain anniversary celebrations. The farmer's wife cooked a couple of chickens, saying that the family could dine on the remains after the visitors had gone. But the hungry parsons wolfed the chickens bare. Later the farmer was conducting his guests round the farm, when an old rooster commenced to crow ad lib. "Seems mighty proud of him self,” said one of the guests. “No wonder,” growled the farm er, "he’s got two sons in the min istry.”—Dramatic News: Well Known The vicar had just returned from a visit abroad and a big crowd of his parishioners had collected in the schoolroom to meet him. Beam ing with pleasure, the vicar got up to speak to the people. “My dear friends,” he started, “I will not call you ladies and gentle men, because I know you too wall.” —Hartford Times. Snap! The landlady brought in a plate ful of extremely .thin slices of bread and butter, which rather dismayed her hungry boarders. “Did you cut these, Mrs. Brown?” said one. “Yes—I cut them!” came the stern reply. “Oh!” went on the boarder. “All right—I’ll shuffle the deal!” IN THE GARDEN “Queer, isn’t it?" “What’s that?" “One plants eyes of potatoes and ears of corn." A Quick One Policeman—So you’re trying to make me believe you won this silver cup in your school sports, are you? Then why did you carry it about in a sack? Burglar—For sentimental rea sons. You see, I won it in a sack race.—Hartford Times. Fast Work "Is that hair tonic any good?” “Say, I spilled some of it on my comb last week and now it’s a brush.”—Capper’s Weekly. Only Incidental "Do you pride yourself on your oratory?” “Not especially,” said Senator Sorghum. “Politics is something like a radio. In order to get an idea across you need a whole lot of ma chinery besides a loud speaker.” Simple Teacher—Can anyone tell me how a stovepipe is made? Johnny—First you take a big long hole, and then you wrap some tin around it. Needed a Best Landlandy—I see your cup of cof fee on a chair, Mr. Boarder. A pe culiar place to put it! Mr. Boarder—Not at all; it’s so weak I put it there to rest. PRETTY SOFT Mr. Bug—Now this is what I call solid comfort—a nice open fire and a big bag of fuel. Self-Confidence Restored “You have resumed your study of music?” “Yes," answered Miss Cayenne. “I used to be diffident, but after lis tening to some of the radio pro grams, my own singing seems pret ty good to me." Well Garbed “Was the defendant expensively garbed?” asked the lawyer of the negro witness. “Deed she was, sah,” answered the witness. “Ah knows expensive garbage when ah sees it.”—Atlanta Constitution. _ I! Eggs for All Tastes Customer—Have you any eggs hat have no chickens in them? Grocer—Yes ma’am; duck eggs i I WHO’S NEWS THIS WEEK... By Lemuel F. Parton mymyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy New Income Tu Ferret. TI/ASHINQTON.—The more for* ' ' rid New-Dealers took It pretty hard when Frol. Boswell Footer Ma glll became special assistant- to the secretary of the treasury, to ex plore tax-dodging and point out the dodgers. was known as a conservative, and he is a son of the distinguished Hugh Stewart Magill of Chicago, who, as president of the' American Federation of Investors, is bracket ed more with the haves" than the have - nots. The treat-em-rough crowd here wanted Harold Groves of the University of Wisconsin for the tax Job. Economic royalists are Mr. Groves’ favorite clay targets. Secretary Morgenthau insisted on bringing in Professor Magill, as an authority on federal taxation, and as a man who ought to be able to uncover hide-outs and get-aways in the income tax maze. The Magill report on tax evasion spurs a drive for a general overhauling and tight ening of the income tax law. Presi dent Roosevelt, in his last press conference, made it clear that the swing on big-income tax-dodgers was entirely premeditated and that a congressional Investigation would follow. This writer gathered, at the conference, that action would be im mediate and overt, possibly start ing with the President’s return from Hyde Park. Hold-outs on the Magill appoint ment are cheering the Columbia professor today. There Is no Indica tion that he pulled his punch in his fact-finding inquiry and the Presi dent seemed to think he had enough ammunition to sink one or all of those $100,000 yachts, allegedly used for tax write-offs. Professor Magill might be one of those "six men with a passion for anonymity” for which the President yearned when he was telling about the Brownlow report. Naturally a tax expert isn’t garlanded or spot lighted like the top-bracket politi cians here, and that is all right with Professor Magill who has heen busier than a gopher burrowing through the treasury tax under ground the last few months. He is surprisingly human for one of his profession, with nothing des iccated or actuarial about him, and has made a pleasant field day out of his tax evasion study. Professor Magill is forty - two years old, a native of Auburn, IlL He was graduated from Dartmouth and from the University of Chicago, as a Doctor of Jurisprudence. He was a captain in the World war and began the practice of law in Chicago in 1920. He was on the University of Chi cago faculty from 1921 to 1923 and has been with Columbia since 1924. He was adviser to the tax com mission of Porto Rico in 1928 and is the author of several impressive, and to the layman quite bewilder ing, books on federal taxation. Conservatives on the Supreme court turn liberal. Certain congress men talk like sockless Jerry Simp son and work like the Common wealth Edison. The conservative Professor MagUl gets a big band on the left Past performance doesn’t seem to be the guide and indicator it used to be, here in the capital. • • • Social Security Advances. IT’S “Anchors A weigh’’ for the so cial security board, as the Su preme court hands it its clearance papers. Arthur J. Altmeyer, in the chart room, had the course already mapped. Plans for immediate wide extension of the scope and activi ties of the board, in six fields, are announced. This extension will bring several additional million persons under the act. Mr. Altmeyer has burrowed in dry statistics for years, coming to the surface as director of novel govern mental financial operations probably unprecedented in history. He is a native of De Pere, Wis., the son of Dutch parents, an alumnus of Wisconsin university, a former sta tistician of the Wisconsin tax com mission and chief statistician of the Wisconsin industrial commission. In 1933, he was made chief of the labor branch of the compliance di vision of the NBA, and later was appointed second assistant secretary of labor. He is the author of several books on subjects in the field of labor law and governmental ac counting. e Consolidated News Features. WNU Service. FisirASalks op Its Tail The wahoo is a tropical game fish averaging five to six feet in length, and weighing in the neighborhood of fifty pounds. Itis a hard fighter, and very difficult to land. Hooked, it "walks on its tail" along the sur face of the water, as the angler tries to haul it to his boat, accord ing to the curator of fishes at the Field museum. The wahoo is shaped somewhat like a mackerel. It has an extraordinary backbone with special engineering features consist ing of a latticework of unique bones which brace the spine in such a way that the fish cannot bend its body up or down, and is extremely limit ed in bending sideways. The scien tific name of the fish is Acanthocy aium Fetus. Modem-to-the-Minute A S RIGHT as rain, and as cool ** ing, are these clever young modes for the woman who sews. Each is simple to make, pleasant to wear, and may possibly be the difference between a modern and a mediocre wardrobe for you this summer. Sew-Your-O w n wants to help you look your best, to stamp you modem-to-the-min ute, and therefore is anxious and proud to present today’s trio. A Two Piecer for Chic. If he tells you you’re just a nice armful you are the right size and type to wear the blouse ’n’ skirt shown above, left. The waistcoat idea is very much the thing in blouses. The skirt is terribly young and figure flattering. What more could any little heart desire? You can have this smart ensemble for a song and a mini mum of stitches. Think of the countless summer occasions ahead that all but specify this very outfit. Not Smart Matron. You should sue for slander any one who calls you a Smart Matron when you don this gratifying new fashion (above center). You step into an entirely new size range when you step forth in this frock. So simple is its technique— merely a deftly designed feminine Not Collegiate “That caps the climax.” “Doesn’t the climax ever go bareheaded, pa?” Optimism: Casting your bread on the waters and Expecting it to come back as dough. Deceiving Jack—Who spilled the mustard on this waffle, dear? Wife—Oh, Jack, how could you? This is lemon pie. That’s Appetite “Define ‘appetite,’ ” requested the instructor in an English school. “When you’re eating you’re ’ap py,” announced one student; “and when you’re through you’re tight.” POSTED Office Manager (to new office boy)—Has the stenographer told you what to do in the afternoon? New Boy—Yes, sir; I was to wake her up when I saw you com ing. Pass, Puss! A lodger was complaining to the landlady that some Of his butter was missing, and jtist as he had been told that it was probably the cat, the creature walked in. “Qh, so there you are, you ras cal!” exclaimed the lodger. “Fan cy you cutting the butter with a knife simply to throw the blame on our landlady!” Apology A simple person saw a parrot on the roof of his cottage. He climbed1 up to capture it. The parrot looked at him and said, sharply:—“What do you want?” The countryman touched his cap. “Beg pardon> sir, I thought •ou was a bird.” jabot, softly draped contours, and a meticulously slender skirt—yet so effective. It will thrill you in marquisette chiffon or lace, and it will keep you deliciously, cool. Snappy for Sports. Play the net or the grandstand in the sports dress at the right and feel perfectly confident in any event. There isn’t one among us who hqsn’t a real yen for a' streamlined all-of-a-piece sports ter that’s on and off in a jiffy, launders easily, and comes up smiling time after time. You can concoct something clever of seer sucker or pique and complete the whole thing in an afternoon. Why not order your size tbday and have all-summer benefit of a real ly companionable sports dress? The Patterns. Pattern 1302 is for sizes 14 to 42. Size 16 requires 2Vi yards of 39 inch material for the blouse, 2Yt yards for the skirt. Pattern 1286 is for sizes 36 to 48. Size 38 requires 4% yards of 39 inch material. Pattern 1915 is for sizes 14 to 42. Size 16 requires 3% yards of 35 inch material plus 3% yards of bias binding to finish edges as pictured. Send your order to The Sewing Circle Pattern Dept., 247 W. Forty-third street, New York, N. Y. Price of patterns, 15 cents (in coins) each. © Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service. Guaranteed to kill ANTS Ants at* hud to kill, but ftwrmsn’s Ant Food is mad* especially to get them and gat them hit Destroy* red ants, black ants, others—kills young and eggs, too. Sprinkle along windows, doors, any place where ants coma and go. Safe. Effective 24 hours a day. 25^, 3jl and 6of at your draggitfs. PETERMANS ANT FOOD Knowledge “Knowledge relieves miseries, brings comfort, saves lives, spreads beauty within the reach of the poorest.”—Rupert Hughes. To Womens If you suffer every month you owe It to yourself to take note of Cardui and find out whether it will benefit you. Functional pains of menstruation have, in many, many cases, been eased by Cardui. And where mal nutrition (poor nourishment) had taken away women’s strength, Car dui has been found to Increase the appetite. Improve digestion and In that way help to build up a natural resistance to certain useless suffering. (Where Car dui {alls to benefit, consult a physician.) Ask your druggist {or Cprdul— (pro. Bounced "Card-u-1.”) Effect of Art Art is of no account whatever, unless it arouses thought or at least emotion. .— I. 1 ... 1 ,11 Finds Way to Hava Young-Looking Skin ■M at 331 I IT'S utterly wonderful tar JL quickly this scientific creme takes away “age-film” —in only 5 nights I At 30— 35—40 even, women now thrill to rose-petally soft, smooth, youthfully dear skin! This Golden Pwcock _cn» acta ut amy way uo me Bam « _. Ugly, old-looking film of aemi-viaible dark wiingMrtiriwI A iwvJartnnfnriurlyKIurJrh—riv SSfaw pimple., freckle., totfTTry ItlGet Golden Peacock Bleach Creme at any drag or department more, or .end 50c to GoMan Peacock Inc^ Dept. H-325, Para, Tenth
The Wallace Enterprise (Wallace, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
June 24, 1937, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75