The Yancey Record
Established July, 1936
Trena P. Fox, Editor & Publisher
Miss. Zoe Young Associate Editor
Thurman U Bnprtrn, Shop Manager
Archie H. Ballew, Photographer & Pressman
Published Every Thursday By
YANCEY PUBLISHING Company
Second Ciass Postage Paid At Burnsville, N. C.
THURSDAY, MAY 4, 1967 NUMBER THIRTY-SIX
Subscription Rates $3.00 x Per Year
jOut of county $4.00
Scene From Top O’ The Hill
By: Jack Kelly
Lots of talk around Washing
ton, and other places too, I
guess, about the Post Office De
partment and Congress doing
something about all of the Sec
ond Class Mail being sent to
people that the people don’t
want. I am in favor of that but
I have another complaint
too. I have been get
ting some First Class Mail that
I can do without. This mail was
a joke to me, but my girl,
Blanche, well, she did not think
it was or is funny at all. This
mail has been inviting me to
purchase membership in a
“Bunny” Club and Blanche
wants to know how come?
Now, as you all know, various
places that sell things send the r
literature to thousands of names
taken frcm what is known as a
“Sucker" list. These lists come
into being by virtue of the fact
that you buy or have bought
something and your name gets
a credit rating. Now, in my
particular case, since I travel
about the Country quite a bit,
I have my name on gasoline
credit cards, hotel credit cards,
Diner C:ub cards, American Ex
press. and others too numerous
to mention. Bouncing about, like
I do. I need these various cred
it cards because no one carries
enough cash to pay two to four
weeks expenses while on the
road, and, lots of places don’t
want to take your check, so, the
credit cards become necessary
to survival.
Unfortunately, someone 1 n
these various organizations
seemingly sells a list of names
to advertising firms, from time
to time, for a new “sucker” list,
and mine gets bandied about
from place to place. Ergo, I get
a f.rst class letter from Playboy
Clubs International which flat
tered me but annoyed my Blan
che a little bit.
The letter, with appropriate
underscorings of pronouns refer
ring to me, informed me that I
could get a fifty dollar member
ship for twenty-five dollars, if
I hurried. It informed me (and
my wife) that I could get into
any "Bunny” Club in New York,
Boston, Atlanta, London, New
Orleans, and scads of other
places Then the letter proceeded
to enlighten me (and my wife)
of the type of “fun” entertain
ment I could have at the end of
the day to lull away my tired
feelings. This letter claimed that
I would find live entertainmeht,
sort of a Disney-Land for adults,
w. drinking “Play-Boy” siz
ed drinks, at a 5-story “fun-city”
that was recently constructed in
Baltimore.
Another place where I could
get rid of my “tired” feelings
cla med it had a Play-Boy Club
with seven levels of show-rooms
with fifteen shows, each differ
ent, every night. The letter did
not explain what it meant by
“seven levels of showrooms.”
Blanchg said it meant lower
levels.
One paragraph fascinated me.
It reads: “As you approach the
Club entrance you will observe
the sign of the sophisticated
PLAYBOY Rabbit which hints
at the festive times awaiting
you within.” Well it is unfor
tunate, for me, that my wife
Blanche has a brother who
ra sed rabbits when they were
younger, so well, Blanche put
the old kibosh on that “festive
rabbit bit” that the letter men
tioned. She didn’t even listen to
the part about the “rustle of
beautiful Bunnies”- or the “com
fort of inviting nooks, and co*y
corners” or the “Door Bunny
who greets you warmly”. If
Blanche had read the rest of this
splendid, four-page letter, she
would have seen that a person
sould also get something to eat
in these Clubs.
The person who composed this
advertising letter did a fairly
good job. Made one big mis
take. A check should have re
vealed to the writer that some
recipients might have a wife
who knew something about the
habits of rabbits. They wasted
lots of postage stamps.
MORE FLIM-FLAM AT THE
FOOTLIGHTS
On one of those pretty after
noons last week, your reporter
checked by the Playhouse again
to see how rehearsals for THE
PIED PIPER were coming
along. Having heard that the
P. T. A. and the elementary
school kids were whomp ng up
something along Broadway pro
portions, I dragged the young
ster along for a lesson in ex
pert interviewing. This kid loyes
the smell of newsprint, beating
us all to Peanuts every Sunday
morning, and I knew that he
would see a Story right away in
our Friendly Stage hand’s ac
count of the Pied Piper action.
Sure enough, there was Close
to the Source himself, soaking
up seme sun at the rock wall.
“The place looks m ghty neat(”
I cunningly opened the conver
sation.
“Oh, it’s you again.” Which
was a remarkable feat of re
cognition as his luxuriant looks
were still draping hs eyes.
"Clean as a hound’s tooth,” he
agreed. “Everybody’s getting in
the act. Carlie Rice’s boys did
the sanitation job, and with
P. T. A. mommas bossing the
rumble, folks all over town are
p tching in. Bob Sparky Hilliard
and Paul Short Circuit Bigger
staff have got the lights work
ing after the power company
turned on the electricity free.
Ken Picasse Laughrun with h s
crew is painting sets, and Mary
Ann Knick Knack Wampler and
her, helpers are rounding up
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In Memory
In memory to our beloved son,
Gary Ray Mclntosh, who passed
away one year ago, May 8, 1966.
Memories are treasures that
none can steal;
Death is a heartbreak that none
can heal.
The months have passed into a
year,
Th.nking of the bygone days
fills our eyes with tears.
Some may forget you now that
you are gone,
But we will remember you, no
matter how long.
Forgive us, 0 God, In tears we
pray,
He was so precious, why couldn't
he stay.
Father and Mother
Sisters and Brother
preps all over town.
“Costumes?” this daring and
imaginative inquiry opened the
floodgates.
"Who else but Mary Pineush
icn Hess and all her little tailors.
Jack Box Office Biggarstaff and
Jo Headline Edge are taking
care of tickets and publicity.
Carolyn Footlight Warner heads
up the coaching staff, and
Scotty Scritch-scratch Moore is
organizing the sound effects."
“Speaking of sound effects,
how about the rats?"
“Oh that’s the b’g secret,”
slyly dodged the informant.
"My, my then is such a lot
to be done for a theatrical per
formance.”
"What extraordinary compre
hens’ty,” effused my friend,
humbled in the presence of
Genuine Intellect. “I haven’t di
vulged nearly all of the vast
talent assembled for this Spec
tacular Production. Us theatri
cal people have to be intelligent
as well as smart. Culture, you
know.” He hitched up his blue
jeans indicating an end to the
interview, and rubbing his foot
along his pants leg, covered up
the last patch of while on his
sneakers with a reddish dirt.
"It’s a gruelling life for sensi
tive types.”
“Gee, Dad," breathed the boy,
awed by true art. "There are
really some smart finks around
here. Can I go to Elementary
School when I grow up 9 Can I,
Dad, can I?”
IT NEVER FAILS
fefiMSSMOIS
fftOPMM
ABILENE, KAN., REFLEC
TOR-CHRONICLE: “A news
story tells how a generous Con
gress has pushed the salaries
of its top employes to such lev
els that $20,000-a-year jobs
(staff jobs, that is) are becom
ing commonplace. There are
494 of them ranging up to
$28,500 paid to the head door
keeper of the House. That sounds
like a lot of pay for a ‘dorr
keeper’. In fairness, this job
may be misnamed, s : nce it
carries much more responsibi
lity than the title implies. How
ever, it is purely a political pay
off type of job. And the salary
is only $1,500 less than a mem
ber of Congress.”
•• • •
FORT DODGE, IOWA, MES
SENGER: “Social Security, like
the public debt, is threatening
to get entirely out of hand, and
for the same reason—the failure
of those responsible for policy
to practice restraint. In consid
ering President Johnson’s re
quest for (an). . . increase in
Social Security benefits, Con
gress has been face to
face with a condition about
which early advocates of mod
eration warned—a threatened
breakdown of the system be
cause of intolerable payroll ex
penses.”
• 669
PETALUMA, CALIF., ARGUS
COURIER: “We don’t like to
rake over old coals, but it’s im
portant to point out that the
controversial textbook ’Land of
the Free’ has become a ‘must’
in all California junior high
schools. ... The thing that does
bother us about this text is its
negative approach to our own
glorious history. There are al
ways those among us ready to
point out our black marks in
history and they completely dis
tort our great heritage by wail
ing to balance it with the shin
ing moments that have made
this country the beacon of free
dom in a weary, troubled
world.”
•• • •
HARRISONBURG, VA., NEWS
RECORD: “At last report Sing
apore wasn’t at war with any
cne. So it came somewhat as a
surprise to learn that the United
States was selling Singapore
25,000 automatic rifles of the
M-16 type. It wasn’t long ago
that the Defense Department
was explain ng that the shortage
of M-l C’s in Vietnam was tem
porary and that replacements
soon would reach American
troops who were forced to use
World War II types.”
ALTOONA, PA., MIRROR:
“One of the things that hadn’t
been said about the Johnson
Administration was that its
Commerce Department is suf
fering frcm a split-personality
syndrome and bill-board schizo
prenia. . . . Rep. William C.
Cramer of Florida has pointed
out to his colleagues in the
House that at the very time
the Commerce Deoartmen‘’s
Economic Development Admin
istration is busily putting up
roadside; signs to plug its pro
jects, the department’s Bureau
of Public Roads is just as bus
ily drafting regulations to elimi
nate roadside signs.”
•* • •
LA PORTE, IND., HERALD
ARGUS: “Reducing the incidence
of the major crimes such as
murders, forcible rape, robbery,
aggravated assault, burglary,
larceny, auto theft, constitutes
a social task of magnitude, but
it would be interesting and
startling, to assemble statistics
on infrequently publicized ‘white
coller’ crime, defalcation, fraud,
plfering, shoplifting, embezzle
ment, blue sky salesmanship
and other dishonest and illegal
activity which does not involve
violence. ... A large business
security firm estimates that
business losses through fraud,
thievery and related crime by
employes rose 15 per cent last
year over 1965. Employe theft
in business generally is now es
timated at $2 to $3 billion an
nually . . . dishonesty is making
vast gains."
•• • •
CLIFTON, ARIZ., COPPER
ERA: “The young aspiring
police officer who dreams of
someday nabbing a bank robber
might even consider it inglor
ious to arrest a citizen who
thoughtlessly discards . . . items
of litter. Nevertheless, the Jit
terbug is breaking the law and
his crime, statistically, is prov
ing much more costly than toe
bank robber's. For instance, in
1965, $4-5 million was stolen in'”
bank holdups and burglaries
across the country. But in the
same year litterbugs committed
a crime worth SSOO million, the
amount paid by taxpayer? to
pick up litter from highways,
city streets, parks and other
public areas. Furthermore, a
good deal of the money robbed
from banks is recovered, where
as there is no recovery of the
money spent cleaning up after
litterbugs."