Sugar And Spite by Bill Smiley Battle Over War Books My wile has been picking on me lately because I rend so many war books. She claims that every time she goes into the bathroom, there's a new, vi cious-looking. bayonet-wielding marine or soldier lunging at her from the cover of a pocket book on the back of the toto I've been kind ef sheepish about It, bat 1 da enjoy a good war navel, to I've taken to slip ping Iheat under the bath-Ink when ant In nee. Bat the kids, who like nothing better than to tee me get a rocket from their mother, are starting to squeal an sse. Kim came downstairs yesterday, bearing a new battle hook with a particularly grisly cover, and with a look of de lighted anticipation, succinctly tattled: "Another war book. Mum." "Why in the world," my wife wants to know, "do men find war so fascinating? You're al ways spoiling parties by getting off in a corner and talking about the silly war. Don't you realize it's been over 20 years, and you're no longer, dashing, young heroes I think it ridicu lous." And so on At you can imagine, I have tome pretty tart retorts on the tip of my tongue. But I wisely refrain from uttering them, an nounre that 1 have to go down and fix the furnace, and, in the safely of the cellar, give vent to the things I'm too gentlemanly to say to a lady, unless she's got both arms tied behind her. Such as: "1 like reading about war because it's just the oppo site of marriage. War is made up of long periods of compara tive peace, interspersed by short spells of violent fighting. Mar riage is ... " Or: "I'd rather be addicted to war novels than the slop women read?sexy histori cal novels, murder mysteries, goony love stories and the pure unadulterated garbage of the movie magazine" Remember, I'm still down in the cellar Maybe it's true that men talk too much about the war, when they get together. But few men are able to cook, make their own clothes, or have babies, subjects that engross any gaggle of women. Nor are men much Interested in talking about men, the only other subject on which women can go on interminably. I think one reason men look back with a certain warped ten derneas on war, and like to talk and read about it. is that it was the most peaceful period of their lives. It was a hiatus be tween the misery and turbu lence of adolescence, and the grim, relentless struggle that constitutes their mature years, when they are trying to raise a family and make ends meet without going mad, mad I tell you, mad. There's aa old, and complete ly nonsensical tradition, that men who've come back from the wart don't want to talk about it. When someone asks them what it was like, they're supposed to go all thin-lipped and grim, and change the subject. I remember bow disgusted I was with this business when I rame home from overseas. Someone would ask: "How was it over there, anyway?" I'd settle back, pre pared to tell him, for hours, when he'd add: "But I guess you don't want to talk about it", leaving me there with my mouth hanging open. I was dying to talk about it Men have been talking about war ever since Og the caveman and his cronies sat around the fire and discussed with grunts of relish the late unpleasantness with the tribe across the swamp And women have disapproved since Mrs Og sat back in the corner of the cave wishing he'd stop inviting that riffraff around to drink homebrew and tell lies about what they did in the war Men have been writing and reading about war since they learned to write and read. From Homer to Hemingway writers have looked with horror and fascination on the ever-intrigu ing business of the human race wading in blood. Shakespeare accepted war as part of life. And if I recall, there was a good bit of smiting of Hittites, Phil istines and others in the Bible. So if I'm to have a book in the bathroom, far better it be a tale of blood and nobility, of grandeur and courage, with a grim-faced grenade-thrower on the cover, than a lurid volume that promises UNBKIDLED PASSION and features on its front a semi-draped female en gaged in pulling a dripping knife out of her grandmother or somebody wettly Features Syndicate -M Mr, and Mrs. Harry M. Seamon and son Harold Gogg ins have returned home after spending the holidays at Lake Worth, Fla. On the way home they stopped at Cape Kennedy and saw Gemini 7 on display. -M Harold Goggins has re turned to theBachmanhomeat Cleveland, Tenn., after spend ing the holidays with his mo ther, Mrs. Harry W. Seamon. Cherokee Scout & Clay County Progress, Thurs. Jan. 13, 1966 du t t dom tr By Boglty I Poetry Aad Poiet 1 Folks often pass things along to me to use in this corner . < it is obvious that I am gotng to have to begin labeling these choice bits so i can give them credit for their contributions. For instance, someone gave me this poem but I don't remember who. It is a dandy and 1 thought I would share it with you. "Monkey's Viewpoint" Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree. Discussing things as they're said to be. Said one to theothers, "Now listen, you two. There's a certain rumor that can't be true; That man descended from our noble race; The very idea is a disgrace. "No monkey ever deserted his wife. Starved her babies end ruined her life. And you've never known a mother monk To leave her babies with others to bunk. Or pass them on from one to another. Till they scarcely know who is their mother." "And another thing you'll never see ? A monk build a fence 'round a coconut tree And let the coconuts go to waste. Forbidding all other monks a taste; Why if I'd put a fence around the tree. Starvation would force you to steal from mel Here's another thing a monk won't do ? Go out at night and get on a stew. Or use a gun aclubor knife. To take some other mon key's life. Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss. But, brother he didn't des cend from usl" And the authorof that is also inknown. All I can tell you is that I didn't write it and 1 don't know who passed it along to me. Maybe some of you noticed back last summer that Miriam Moore started to paint the floor of her store a white enamel, and then changed her mind. I'll have to tell you that it wasn't her idea to paint it that color - or any color. And she didn't doit, she just helped me paint the part that was painted. No, it wasn't my intention to paint it either but we sure wound up painting a great big spot, about as gib as a bed sheet . . or a horse blanket for a big horse. The reason we got into that was on account of the way 1 was raised. You see, when I was coming up they taught me to be courteous and help ful to womenfolks. A nd I was just trying to live up to that. I had bought this gallon of paint, well, it was a gallon to begin with but wound up about a pint and a third, from Mir iam. And, because she had another customer in there 1 was gonna be real gentlemanly and helpful, and all, by putting this bucket of paint in the shaker myself, and shaking the pure fool out of it while she went ahead and waited on this other customer. 1 said this big mess was caused by the way I was raised. It wasn't either. Every bit of it was Hazel Donley's fault. She was the other customer. 1 Could tell by looking at her that she was in a big fizz to get back to her gas station so she could put more tigers in tanks, or dinosaur juice, or, maybe, mix up some more of that secret formula that they put in the gas to make cars run another mile or two down a railroad track - and one of these days a traln'll be coming and the twain shall meet, then what a mess that'll be! Worse'n that paint. Anyhow, because she was in such a lather to get back I undertook to shake my own paint. Miriam said, "Cuz, can you rig it up?" I told her, "Why heck yeah, anybody with one eye and half sense oughta be able to handle a simple project like this!" So, she told me to go ahead and she'd wait on Hazel. How about her asking if I could rig up a simple thing like that! Why, if she hadn't been such a good friend of mine 1 woulda considered that question an insult to my in telligence. AU you naa to uo was u the bucket on ? little round bete, screw t damp down on it, food and tight, and turn on the Juice. I did that. It was easy as pie. That was the shaUngest contraption I every saw in my life and made the durnedest racket 1 ever heard. And, lo and behold, after about six or seven shakes, that thing slung that bucket of paint about fifteen feet and down on the floor it went. You'd be surprised how easy you can get the lid off a bucket of paint when you bounce it on the floor like this. Also, you'd be astonished at how fast paint will pour out of a bucket when it is rolling round on the floor with the lid offl And let me tell you, that bucket of paint didn't miss Hazel's leg but 2 1/4 inches. If it had hit her she would have been in a heap worse shape than Blain Donley was that time one of his ole fox dogs (this is HIS story) ran over him and put him in the hospital. Of course, I was extry glad it missed her on account of if it hadn't I'd bet you $3.25 that she would have been just like some people are when they get a sorry, flea-bitten, mangy old hound run over. If you offer to pay em for the beast, suddenly he becomes the most valuable, best tree dog in seven states, worth a big pile of doogaloo. And I bet you a pretty she would have been the sarile way. She would pro bably have said, "This leg you busted up was as good, if not the very best leg 1 ever had. Ivie Funeral Home Mtrphy-AMtlrtws-HaytsvSlle MRS. MAE ANDERSON BLAIRSVILLE, GA.--Mrs. M?e L. Anderson. 79, of Blairsvllle, Ga., Rt. 3, died Thursday, January 6 in her home after a long Illness. She was a native of Clay County, N. C? and a daughter of the late Thaddeus and Mary Cowart Ledford. She was the widow of Abraham Anderson. She had lived in Georgia since 1922. Surviving are two daughters Cane Creek News -c Mr. Glenn W. Mann former resident of Cherokee County passed away Jan. 3 at Grady Memorial Hospital In Atlanta, Ga? after a short Illness. He Is survived by his mother, Mrs. Ethel Mann, five sons. Rex and Jerry of Atlanta. J. D. of the U. S. Service, Clay and L. C. of the home, five daughters, Mrs. Frances Rad ford of Murphy, Mrs. Kenneth Patterson of Atlanta, Ga., worth no less than $50, 000.001" And at the wages I make I would h*VF had to work till I was 103 to pay her for just one leg. Miriam said, "Cuz, all you did wrong was to put the bucket in upside down." I slad, "Yes'm, I never did under stand complicated mach - inery." Anyhow, the whole business was Hazel's fault for being in there in such a fizz to get waited on. Betty Sue, Linda and Carolyn of the home; three sisters, Mrs. Wlllard McCiure, Mrs. Lloyd Clonts of Murphy, Rt. 4; and Mrs. Paul Mathes of CentervlUe. Ga.: five bro thers, Mayford and Harley of Murphy; Jewell of Belmont, N. C.; David of Oak Ridge, Tenn.; and Marvin ofNepomo, Calif. Funeral was Jan 5 in the Chapel of Dillon J. A us ton Funeral Home in Atlanta, Ga. Dr. L. E. Smith officiated. Interment was in College Park Cemetery. -C Mr. Wilburn Haney of Hay esville, attended the funeral of his cousin, Mr.GlennW.Mann in Atlanta, Ga.. Wednesday, Jan. 5. -C Mr. and Mrs. Earl Ledford of Clinton.Tenn., spent Friday night with their brother and sister, Mr. and Mrs. Herman Ledford and son, Ronnie. -C Mrs. Mary Forrister of Blairsvllle, Ga., spent the week end with Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Wilcox and son. Dean. Mrs. Vina King of Blairavllle, and Mrs. Grade Totherow of Detroit. Mich.; four sona, Carl, Hobart and William J. all of Blalrsvllle, and Garnle N. Anderson of Marietta; a slater, Mrs. Sallie Wei bom of Clayton; IS grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren. Services were held at 2 p.m. Saturday in Bethbarbara Baptist Church. The Rev. Early King of ficiated and burial was In the church cemetery. Pallbearers were, Dannie Key, Jerry, Howard, Randall and Clayde Anderson and Charles Woolen. Ivle Funeral Home of of Murphy, was in charge. RICHARD "DICK CARRYL" Honest Real Estate Broker NOTARY PUBLIC Rtftrtncc, ?licks Gulf and Pollcs Dspt, t Visit 6ATLINBURG, Ten. Sn tm nuit or rm otur rend enjoy your stay at the NEW 103 ROOM SWIMMING ? 2 MEETING HAltS AIR-CONDITIONED ? GOURMET DINING ART GAUERY ? KIDDIE TOURS for t?Kgttom Coll your noorutt HOUDAY INN Of wrUo, HOUDAY INN, CATUNBURC. TBIN. High-Fashion Ford at a special low price! (It happens only once ayear) FORD DEALER & nr ju 0 Includes deluxe pleated,all-vinyl seats ? deluxe bright-metal trim ? white walls ? deluxe wheel covers ? choice of 2- or 4-door in Wimbledon White, Nightmist Blue or Silver Blue ? And all at once-a-year prices! JONES FORD CO. DmI? H*. 4M2 Phone 389-6326 Hayesville. N. C. o PRIVATE HAULING AVAILABLE AT BEAtOWAUt RATES ? FREE PARKING ? SATISFACTIOI GUARANTEED, ifORI HOURS? riso^fcTo 4 MTU BOATS 1 :10 *.0.-1 P.O. ' cash & carry BUILDING MATERIALS 1033 EUCLID AVE. SE-PH. 476-4533 CLEVELAND, TENNESSEE WHERE ELSE CAN YOU GET... SO MUCH FOR SO LITTLE? ib-r I. ALUMINUM EXTENSION LADItER At this prico ovory horn* should hovo on#-no-rot HondUt liko ofootW $|Q7S ? #?lMr iIim i# it*# **d aitMilm l*?*w? J Disappearing arairway ROUGH OPI NINO J3WW $-j 295 llll KNMf I.. HI- "???1S!321"W lia ??d access te ? tie attic? M jest all i tar ceiiiag Itiglts te II PLYWOOD PANELING j ho-fmiahod 4'aS'Plywood. Trvooconomy ^ ? both. Initial ond installation cot**. * an * | Bitch - 5 Shadot *p ?? | (965 Wolnwt Finish IKW rW Chorry Finish V ! Shoot Cabinet Plywood Fm? Ho rd wood* l?? wKou |ob rtqui'ti b??l' 4 tl Skttts *i" H *" ?-! ?nek M.JI SI1J4 Plat 1.1* KM INLY AT CAC CAN YOU SAVE SO MUCH ON LIGHT FIXTURES aiy11?n poi< ignurn ^ 11" high, 7" wide. CP 1 A block w.th clear ^SlIW glast Only V See Oir Cemplete Line 92c te $31.32 Sqwalcli Saand-A44 iMNty CEILING TILE flaliliatf. Mm raw kcwli! 10c Ihm Mid Wm4 , ? cat tt lii|tt ? ntctH Mlllilft ? picUlri ptltNtN ? Mnrttttos incollont for arty homm ?Hon 50 *cri?tiM pryofoy ifo try* col or* xi I oloponco of 1 Ml contury panoling, to dmtpm o?oly ottimpttd *n 4'*?' parwli. Put Wottcroff in ymvt 10*12 ?137'?| uunuiinull FIR MOULDINGS loft teitwro pravMli split*. ypt Hofd , 4- Hundred 5.15 Co?M0. 3" . 4Vto Crwn, 3" SVte Stop, 1 *" 2Vte utAUTiri Tournome: BROUGHT IRON SAVEUP TO 40% a' ruT COLUMN r CORNER 4' RAIL $32t IC7I $3?0 SAVE?SAVE?SAVE! QUALITY BATH SETS Sove a I to en our colored In twrei. hie, fittings, even cop per A galvanised pipe With CAC sowings, buy more A bet ter metols STORM-SCREEN DOOR Now you con I ? Solf- storing si gas ? I rati Hardwara 30 ? W ASPHALT SHEA1HINB ? Low Initial and Application Cost ? Addod Protection Against Woathor r?4'rt- $^C00 py_ 1 ??? V4"k4'*8' "V^ ^ "? CLASSIC SMOOTH A FLUTIO WOOOIN PORCH COLUMNS 6" & 8" 8' From $16.35 Ea. HALF l|"it1"Cliina Lavatory bath Clasat Caiabinatian 3-PIECE 1-pc. Staal Tub BATH l-avatim ft Clasat $5895 Aluminum Sliming Glass PATIO DOOR nwaMtl ?l twfcy. Cv?s Mtl CM* *57" HOOF SHINGLES ? M??vy-4v?y 1)1# ? lS-yMr g| B?nd ? C?v?r? 100 If. H. Mf?lar lui &??* li/St lb. fell - 1.277, 7.217. 1.9) k S covin 100 SO. HIT v Evzyt ieym-Mii .34. Guaranteed tor Lit-t: LOCK SETS Polished Brass Pasute Bed Bath ?|s? ?j ?s ?2>* GALVANIZED GUTTERS & DOWN SPOUTS ? (only Initallod! ? No Spo?ial Tool*! l"KloiCirtt?f |>DhhpmI ?i2" vr mo" ,r ROCKWOOL INSULATION Hmp bMf wfctrt It in wintnr. mHM? In wnntrl fnvn 1 M% nn M?lUf Mill, nnnrfy 10% I nn cnntlnn ctitil 1.000 o^. ft -batts IK" $25.75 3"$4l.9t (OOF AND FOUNDATION COATINI kiquia Mipnan Jiopi lvoii in Roof a no Ratomont Mond* Troo WMfldi, Wotor proofs Ivorything 73'e.,. *2^: CERAMIC BATH TILE " FLOOD THE sum ?*?? M S3 is a wall tile p.r i< s?. 42* 38 PULTE.IHTI.fcNE. PLASTIC FILNI^ 1.000 uv?' Y..1I b. glod you how* o roM' A'aiocsoit V $366 OfHor ?r>dtKi to 16 U?> Aft< /v ^ FIBERGLASS INSULATION Miw Hm? " BIN S?vUm?. llW" $29.St J" $49,291 WHY MUr IHt r LUUn &FTER EVERY SHOWER? - - ? DELUXE GLASS Swan?Fish?Plain $1895 BATH TILEBOARD ? laaatify fair tot* at l?nst taat1 ? lUf ta itstaM ait auittaia* 21%; r* Stoats 4SS. /iKFt ?S a SHOWER DIPRS ? 14"kM" RavaraibU ? Mjwtakltianb i ? Sami-obaciira gtaai .1 $14" Now Too Con . . . CHARGE & CARRY AT CASH & CARRY PRICES! ? 10% DOWN ? 24 MOS. TO PAY ? ?25 TO *500 PURCHASES BI-FOLD DOOR UNITS GIVE MAXIMUM ACCESS! Just fold bock tbo pawli on oitfeor tido and your WHOll closot is opon complotsly! 2-0" ?12- J'O" *13" BASIC BUILDING MATERIALS MARKET REPORT ARE YOU PAYING MORE THIS WEEK' ANY WEEK' tOOMAlT OMIATHIMG WsA'ar, 1,000 ?*. f?. 45.00 IATH TliltOARO 4'0" shaaf, OA.OO/s*. ft. 310ht IIIINO Till Flaia, it ft 10c A(*?itk?l, it- ft 13V?c foots ?i ##14 Unit*, If, M.. 10.31 if M" Units, 0*0", M.. 11.70 1st. fir 0 Ran 3*0", m. . 10.71 1st. flash iasss 3*0", ts. 0.00 tat. flash laaaa 0 stap H. 3*0", aa.... 10.30 lat. flash lift Ufa. 3*0". 10.00 ?at. Waits flash 3*0". aa. 17.30 fraaaas, O/O 3*0", aa. . . 0.30 Jamhs, J/4.4W, **4".aa. 3.00 lat. flash laaaa 3*0", aa 4.40 Ocraaa, Alaai, J'-O", aa. 13.00 Osraaa, WaaO 3'-0". aa. 0.00 0li4ia? Ola.. O'-O" aa. 07.00 Otarai, Alan. 3'-0", aa. 10.00 tiOOO Till Vinyl Ashastas 0?0, pc. . Or GYPSUM 1000 ?%. ft. 36.(3 W'?4*?0\ 1000 s* ft. 41.36 SOU PIPIS I FITTINGS 1" S.N. V 1.04 J" D.H. J' I.JJ ?" S.N. $' 1.27 ?" I.N. S' 1.51 ?" % IINI 1.14 4" Til 1.74 ?" WYI 1.74 INSULATION ImIiwmI, M. ?*.*... 33.73 IW Pibtrflaii R?ll. MN.lt LOCK StU Nl. IfCM, M. I .SO M, Nl. OrvM, ? 1.0S Nffc, Nl. IftH, M. . . . I .OS N?y in RnS. m 3.40 LUMOIR la) 0 PI*. lin. ft U 1i4 D Sir, I in. It OV* la* 0 PI*. Ib.fl 11c iKll #3 Pimm Stolvia* II*. It IIV* *r Nptml. S/4 Omk. 1.11 IcOfMlc, M. . .33 Nm, 4". IN tin. II.... 6.13 Cadd* 3". IN lid. ft. .. 4.30 Crmwm 3". IN lid. ft. . . 3.33 Crtva 4", 100 ltd. ft. . . M* lotted IVVi 103 Hd. ft. 143 l?N IN". 133 lid. ft... 3.33 Std* IN", 133 lid. ft.... 3.33 Otr. Nm* 133 lid. It. 1.73 Nm MM*., 133 lid. ft. 1.33 PANUINO Pre. Fin. Pljrwd. Lauan 8hHt. . . 3.68 Antique * Natural Birch 9.60 Oak 6.08 . Natural Cherry . ?. 7.00 MINI Dtcsrita Vlnjrt, Htl, yai. 2.65 DMtfita flat, ??!? 4.10 "tacita" laHi, #???. ?al. 4.95 "tacita" Utti, Imdm 6.29 Pr???i?f m Oil, Iwmm, f?l. 4.79 MiMliMWl Oil. l?asa, 3.39 Danrlf laMi, 9mm, 4.29 91YW OOO,#Ml V?" Ml, Int.. p? S.6S W Ml, lat.. pc 3.46 H" ftlt. lat., pc. 3.34 W CO, Inf., pc 7.30 H" CO, lat.. pc 3.'4 IT.UaOrUrMrt A-29 111# CartoiaiM# ' 6.27 III# f??I ImI, ? ? 7.11 _ - ? ? us 1S#/30# 9alt, raM . . . . i.9) . . S.SS A?ai*t a*"a**W, aa. I7U Maris. ??Hint 4'aJ\ aa. 1041 Mafk Naap S'SMa4*4M ri-all" 4-lt., ??... 1941 ri"il'4" 4-M.. m.... 11.0? l-Tsl'l- 4-M., M.... 11.91 fTW*" 1 !-#?., aa. . . 11. I'l"a4'r*. pr J.89 fO-aOl", pr 9.27 M"al'l~. ?? 1.11 ro-ai'o". #a. 14 W4I, MIMA. 1CMIM S4"a10*. rail ?4 M^alOr, raM 11.1 EXTERIOR FLUSH DOORS LUAUN ir ii" Plain Ml M-M Diamond Ml 1.11 1-Stop IMI UN Uft-iita 1l.1l 1I.N QUALITY SPEAKS: Your Wit door spooks ?CftC so< _ Homo Witfi C&C sovm?s it costs mo ntoro to Kovo o hoow duty 1 fir ootronco door. Ckooso from mooy 2t-6-Poool S142? WHY BOTHER... m mmtfi. ai c*c r? <K?M?r i?it tt ? ww 4mt< A ? f*4 w?yW >?>*> kmmm' ?5M SHEETROCK! JOINT ?Hmt krwtfa ?# ffrfMM ??iHrnNy. Nr IJM ?*. ft. | w w *36" *41" tftt'f'KJSl T ?nH.r h?*4h SOIL PIPES I FITTINGS S.H. 5' 2.09 D.H. 5' 2.23 S.H. 5' 3.27 D.H. 5' 3.58 Va BIND 1.14 TEE 1.76 4" WYE 1.76 ALUMINUM UNSLE HUNS WINDOWS FHA-VA 30x30 4-Ufht $030 COUNTER TOPPING mtpty mm4 m timk <? itM*. ThU ??*? fwl ? rid* I* IN ??<???. r**l*d-i* kawlyt 9fic ?7W tt'ltlim t?.n. IM DISHWASHER SPECIAL! : M till. I] ?i>u MM( WMkk liliaillt fill ryftf ?*136" f.tt modi: BUILT-IN SAVINGS! srtm&nss.'tta; 1.0* %mm WHISK AWAY, C?fctwa ?dtt, vapor, ? MUAMI-CAMY r?* Km4 c. _ ? kMtf, fflMb, tiict kMi HI J* IKTUIOR DOOR UMTS In Mw| HmIi Inn fl ?/frto. M> Hb|w Mm* =:-::s $1150 mm hji hu FOR BEST WORKMANSHIP In iHt, fM - " n?c: MNfklM ?22" SAVE 20-50% ON BUILDING MATERIALS AT ALL WEST C & C DEPOTS

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