Newspapers / Jones County Journal (Trenton, … / Aug. 31, 1967, edition 1 / Page 3
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However true it may be, it is pure brag when a man says he is happy, though married. Cer tainly it is not a sign of wisdom; some things are better kept to one's self. ' " / Yet, here I sit, with the patina ing me, knowing^better, yet, preparing to tell all. And I shall. Here is the last line first: to insure happiness, though married,'be * eternally vigilant for the one-up ploy. That is all there is to it. * In myown case, I got off on thd right foot the day we set up housekeeping. There was a win dow shade to be hung and I managed to screw in the brac *i kets some six inches below the window top. I have never again been asked to hang a shade. Moreover, that inspired moment set the stage for all these inter vening years. No sockets to fix; no boards to be sawn; no type writer ribbons to unnerve a per son; no nothing, none of that “handyman” business. “He just doesn’t have the knack — I’d rather do it my self than see him fumble a round”, my bride said, that first anniversary, while explaining the set of carpenter tools I had presented her. And I stood there, as I have stood ever since, head hung, admitting to my in competence. That was no mean victory — making the little doll feel need ed — and has done much ovet these two decades to insure my happiness, though married. A second element of the tech nique — the first being mechani cal helplessness — might be termed, standing clear. It calls for a closed mind, a certain ob durateness. Let me explain: You have no connubial right to interfere in the kitchen,, you know. That is elementary, or it should be. To the best of my belief — and I am quite certain of this — I have not laid a hand on a dish rag or towel since I have been married. X am that thoughtful. By standing clear, you see, I pre clude any chance of breakage or of misplacing things and thus in sure against future misunder standings. Take that as a cardinal rule, then, stay out of the kitchen particularly after meals. . Such are samples of the objec tive technique of being happy, Funeral Home Ambulance Service fWkm JA 7-1123 though married. But they are not the essence of the art. I take a great deal more pride, let it be known, in my mastery of the subjective, the subjective being much more meaningful to the life of Riley. To that end, I recommend wife watching. Let me illustrate, a gain: I am a coffee drinker, an eight cups-a-day swiller. So, it is signi ficant when I tell you I get those eight cups without ever having to arise from my chair.— To manage that notrinconsid erable feat a person must have an understanding of his wife’s psychology and of logistics — that’s why I recommend wife watching — and a strategy of one’s own geared to her charac teristics. In my case, I managed through a simple yet devasta tingly-effective maneuver; I placed my easy chair just out side the kitchen door. That’s all; anchored it there. ' But saying “that’s all” to that coup is like saying “that’s all” to the discovery of America. ,You see, my keen observation had convinced me there is no housewife alive—and you should have observed this, yourself — who can stay out of the kitchen for more than 30 minutes at a time. They are always coming and going. (You know what is a game path, don’t you?) As the lady glides into range, just raise you cup, as another might his rifle — not too early and not too late, timing is a gossamer thing — and with your most melliflu ous voice, say: “Please, baby — while you are up”. Voila! If what you see in that little act is nothing more than ap pears on the surface, I’m wasting my time seeking happiness, though married, for you. There is much more involved. Did you ever hear the phrase, stress point? That’s what is in volved in all of this, the lady’s stress point. You must learn her limit of endurance and stay just this side of it. You see, if I were doltish enough to ask for coffee and — and anything, all in a breath, most likely I would get that soul crusher, do-it-yourself, as I did once or twice, in the ear ly days. No sir; I save the and until the lady is committed, has cup in hand. That’s when I add the and — and popover, and cheese, and whatever else it is I have in mind. (My record is a plate lunch). Such fine nuances get the job Your Medicine Can Cost You Less Have Your Prescriptions Filled at MEDICAL CENTER PHARMACY 905 N. Queen Street Kinston, N. C. ' - Wt WELCOME CHARGE ACCOUNTS [ > '•> keep income tax and insurance records Walter P. Johnson. R. Ph. i-_— done thoroughly, insure my hap piness, though married. And that, as I say, is all there is to it. Let me know how you make out. No Mess — No Waiting — Our Ready-Mixed Concrete Is on the Job When You Need It. Also Sand, Gravel and Crushed Stone. Barrus Ready Mixed Concrete Company Free Estimates — New Bern Highway, Kinston, N. C. Frosty Mom Meats Inc. “Helping to build a better Livestock Market for Eastern North Carolina” Top prices paid for Hogs & Cattle Daily No Commission Charge No Waiting Phone JA 3-5103 Kinston, N. C.
Jones County Journal (Trenton, N.C.)
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Aug. 31, 1967, edition 1
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