The Cleveland Star
SHELBY, N. C.
MONDAY — WEDNESDAY — FRIDAY
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THE STAR PUBLISHING COMPANY, INC.
i Kir, b. WEATHERS ____President «Bd Editor
8. ERNEST HOEY --Secretary and Foreman
RENN DRUM.... News Editor
A. D. JAMES ____Advertising Manager
Entered as second class matter January 1, 1905. at the postoffice
At Shelby, North Carolina, under the Act of Congress, March 3. 1879.
We wish to call your attention to the fact that it la. and has been
our custom to charge five cents per tine for resolutions of respect,
cards of thanks and obituary notices, after one death notice has
been published. This will be strictly adherred to.
* FRIDAY, AUGUST 16. 1020 ~~
8250
93 00
TWINKLES
It is no hard matter to discern where Americans keep
their money. Bandits once robbed banks; now' they loot fill
ing stations.
There will be a pood news item in it when some reporter
rinds a prison that hasn’t had a riot or some other trouble
this year.
Some kick is made, we read, because the photo of the
auto on the new. runt-size, ten-dollar bill resembles the new
model flivver. Why kick, isn’t that where most of the bills
arc poinp?
A headline this week reads “Rhineland Evacuation Set
For Christinas." Wonder if anybody remembers the slogan
of a little over a decade ago—“Out of the T/cnches by
Christmas”?
The city fathers of Shelby have turned thumbs down
upon a plea for an appropriation for musical instruction in
the city schools. Perhaps the governing fathers have been
hearing discordant notes from some of the taxpayers.
President Hoover we note has given some of his birth
day knick-knacks to the children of a mountain farmer in
Virginia. So. we suppose that is the beginning of the prom
ised relief for the Southern farmer.
The corpse is moving- A Washington dispatch fore
casts a Democratic fight on the tariff when the senate con
venes. Now. if the tariff was the only worry of the Demo
cratic party, what a husky organization it would be
Cleveland county as a county owes less than a quarter
of a million dollars. Some counties pay very near that much
interest annually upon their debts. Not such a had com
pliment, if you please, to the injection of a business system
into county government.
Cleveland. Rutherford and McDowell counties may
evetrtnatly get a highway all have wanted, needed and de
served for year—the proposed Golden Valley route from
"Shelby to Polkville to Marion, through the Golden Valley sec
tion of Rutherford and McDowell. Such a highway, too,
would mean much to Burke county.
From Polkville west to the Rutherford line there is a
portion of Cleveland county deserving of a highway outlet,
and the same thing applies to that big section west of Cleve
land in Rutherford apd from the Rutherford line on into
Marion. A highway routed in such a manner through the
fertile Golden Valley section would mean much to the Golden
Valley people, and to Marion, Shelby, Rutherfordton and
Morganton as trading centers.
v
A NEEDED HIGHWAY
GLIMMERS on the horizon now some hope that
vicl a mgnvvay map, u you nave one nearoy, ana noie
the bit? section mentioned which is not traversed by a de
cent highway, and then you will realize what such a route
would mean to the several counties concerned.
The proposed highway could leave Shelby by way of
rolkville. using that far the new highway 182 which is now
maintained by the state. From Polkville on a new route
would be necessary, this route intersecting the Rutherford
ton-Morganton highway in Burke county thus opening up
Golden Valley trade for both Rutherfordton and Morganton,
and continuing on to Marion with an outlet that direction
for the citizens now- literally hemmed in because of no high
way outlets.
This section, the towns and cities roundabout and the
, people of Golden Valley, is entitled to such a highway. Lets
keep hammering until we land it. Other sections of North
C arolina have kept after the highway officials until they se
cured what they deserved.
OUR TAR HEEL ENDURANCE RACE
^QRTH CAROLINA, the state which is first in “firsts,”
should be ranked as first in endurance contests, and would
be were our press-agent on the job.
Tar Heel voters will not go to the polls to elect Gover
nor Gardner s successor until 1932, three years from now,
and meantime the voters of the state are more interested
in their present governor than all the “next governors” com
bined. But not so the “next governors.” They are in an en
durance contest which would prove too weary and too
lengthy for Cash-and-( arry Pyle’s bunion speedsters, the
pilots of the St- Louis Robin, or the Maine guy who danced
longer, than all others.
Imagine being in a race for four years—and e\en eight
years! If that doesn't, speak well for the stamina and en
during qualities of our people, pray what does? A headline
over a Raleigh dispatch this week read: “Brummitt And
Fountain Leading Candidates For Governor—Ehringhaus,
Cox, Woltz, Maxwell And Others Are To Be Considered Still
In The Race.”
Jfi£hat do you know'about that? Those in the race can-!
not hope lo hit the tape before the judges’ stand (an Austral
ian affair) before 1931, but they’re running. Mr. Brummitt
and Mr. Fountain are said to be a couple of jumps and a skip
or so ahead of the main pack now, but in another year or so,
as the fight gets underway for the rail position who can tell
just who may ho ahead? Then Mr. Maxwell, who is named
last now, may show an unusual burst of speed down the home
stretch three years from now and come out ahead. In these
endurance contests, brother, you can’t always tell. The wop
who started out ahead in Pyle’s trot to the; Pacific coast was
never able lo reach the Kansas wheat fields. And as for
that, our memory is that Mr. Woltz, who lives over in the
neighboring county of Gaston, has a grander conception of
his ability to endure than any of the others. Me is supposed
to be running for governor eight years from now when the
entrance blanks call for westerners instead of easterners. No
doubt, though, he will be on the inside near the rail for the
1936 spurt, if he manages to remain on his feet through
the brief three-year dash of 1932. Anyway, it should be
goon training
lvnrfuranee contests? No stale tops North Carolina. And
think of ns poor hallot-tossers on the sidelines who do not
recuperate from the nervous tension of one eight-year race
before we're forced to start whooping it up as the starter’s
gun sends off a dozen or more runners in another da-li.
M0R
"JUDGE JIM’S" SERVICE
iK THAN three decades ago, when Shelby strained her
pride to refer to herself as even a good little town, one
ol the young lawyers of the town was appointed Superior
court solicitor. The fellows who remember those days dear
ly,* and who were court room attendants then, are not so
young any more A dozen years later the young Shelby so
licitor became a .judge. Thus opened one of North Carolina’s
most interesting public lives.
Wednesday this paper carried the announcement that
the lawyer who became a prosecutor 86 years ago and a judge
21 years ago w'ould retire next year after serving his State
as a jurist for a quarter of a century.
In that quarter of a century Judge James L. Webb—
‘kludge Jim” to his scores of personal friends—has ‘'held
court” in every county of North Carolina except one and has
held more courts and has been on the bench longer than any
living man in the State. The various cross-sections of Iifc he
has come in contact with, and, on many occasions, been forced
lo solve, would make a very interesting study of American
progress and culture. Likewise a comparison of his todays
and yesterdays in the court room would make interesting
reading for North Carolina.
This observation, however, is more about the man than
of bis record and the interest therein. A big-hearted, kindly
follow who soon became experienced in his study of life, he al
ways managed to mix mercy with justice, and was and is of
the type which believes the average man appreciates and
wdl usually take advantage of “another chance,” and also
that there is a bit of good in the worst of us which may be
brought out under proper handling. A basic principle you
might sa*. of our Christian faith. A Hereafter of Happiness
populated only by those who never had the need of “another
chance ’ would, admittedly, be sparsely populated. “Judge
Jim is perhaps more widely known and loved than any man
m public life in North Carolina today, and hundreds of peo
ple upon hearing that he will not seek the judgeship again
1 f?r many years loae a degree of interest in court room
procedure because of the absence of the stately, impressive
.lunst so long a familiar figure in the court rooms. Yef all
of them will agree that by the end of another year the
rounding out of a quarter of a century, “Judge Jim” will
have earned some relaxation and a rest Of the old school
Yvh.ch believed in law as the basis of order and society but
thal only a human system, he knew the worth of adminis
tering it in company, when needed, with a helping hand to
a ",c *weu “ pu#w,i,» '«•»» ■»*»<*»«
NOBODY’S BUSINESS
GEE McGEE—
(Exclusive in T! -
Section.)
Raleigh. N. C, Aug, 13, 1921.
Mr. Gee McGee,
Anderson. S, C.
Dear Sir:
I have observed in reading your
column that^ you are an authority
on everything in particular and
therefore • going to ask you to
write an article on the house fly
and its propensities. For this kind
ness. please accept my thanks m
advance.
tMiss) S. S. S.
AndersonT S. C„ Aug 15. 1929.
My Dear Mrs. S S. S.—■
I appreciate your inquiry, but
the first thing I want to say is.
I uster take a medicine that
was named S S. S„ and I am
wondering if it was any kin to
you? I prefer to have the full
name of the person who sees fit
to seek information from me. but
I will assume that you arc ‘Some
Sweet Sister." and let it go at
that. Now as to the house fly:
The house fly descended from the
3 flies that Nora took into the
Ark. the same being concealed in
the ear of the female cow. Nora
would not have taken these insects
into the Ark willingly if he was
bald-headed or ever tried to sleep
in a hammock out in the front
pi-izza after dinner, while the mules
were eating. At least, that-swat 1
think.
The fly is composed of 6 legs
and a couple of snouts and a pair
of wings that keep him or her on
the butter one second and on the
ceiling the next second. The sum
mer home of the fly is divided
equally between the cow stall
and the kitchen, that is—if screens
are not used in either place. <1
never did understand how flies
managed to see to get about, they
are so careless; they leave their
specks everywhere they go'.
A load for the average fly as he
goes and comes and lights where
he pleases in 9999 cases of typhoid
fever, 8888 cases of other dis
eases of a less serious nature, be
sides an abundance of germs that
nobody appreciates except the un
dertaker and the tombstone maker.
If I had my way about it. riies
would not be allowed to light on
anybody except, politicians, in
stallment collectors, book agents,
goats, monkeys, foot, peddlers and
Hoover Democrats. They might
also b»> us«*d at the meetings 0f
farm relief board for the purpose
of keeping the members awake. You
may publish this if you think it will
be of service to your community.
Yours truly.
Gee McGee.
Something New Under The Sun
X have Just recently invented a
doodle digger for use by the many
politcal lame ducks of this country
who are still waiting on a change
in the administration. This doodle
digger Is simply marvelous and
will take place of all previous
doodle digger models regardless of
price, location, adaptiblity, or con
struction.
Now, here's how my new doodle
digger is made and operates; it is
composed of a wire-spring contrap
tion very similar to that used on a
mouse trap and is attached to
the big toe of the lame duck, and
it is so arranged that When the
said lame duck wiggles the said
big toe. a tiny Jigger on the end
of the spring revolves round and
round Immediately over the holo
of the doodle and gradually goc.
down into it, and as the dood>
comes up to see whatinthehell 1
Ihe matter, the spring turns loose
Just as soon as the doodle touche ,
it. and he is "histed” out on 1h>
side of the so-called den.
And. furthermore—the lame
duck will not have to go to th
trouble of saying—''Doodle, doodle
come out of your hole, your hou‘ e
is on fire.” A small graphophone
record is affixed to the digger
which is hung onto the big toe „vs
above stated, and it plays the tune
— "Doodle, doodle, come out of your
hole, your house is on fire." and
continues to play the same a?
long as the toe is wiggled. This
will conserve the energy of the
lame duck, but up to this time, he
will have to do his own spitting,
as my machine is only perfect
enough to get fhc unsuspecting
doodlr.
The design of the machine is
indeed unusual: 8,978 of 17.893
now located in Washington all say
that nothing has ever been invent
ed or ever will be invented that is
equal to my doodle digger in ap
pearance, resiliency, compacity
and lowness of cost of construc
tion. It has a stream-line base and
is Ducoed in 14 colors and its
wheel-base ranges from 14 inchc::
to 28 Inches, this being nccessa v
to fit the many sized toes of the
lame ducks which emerged from
the offices of the government when
Mr. Coolidgc was elected.
Of course, my dear friends,
yoover-Democrats who were ex
pecting something and got it in
the neck can use these doodle dig
gers just as well as old Democrats
can. These machines will be on
the market within days from
this date and can be had from all
licensed bootleggers and speak
easies. and the prices will range
from 48 cents per dozen to 15 cents
apiece, according to finish anso
forth. This is going to prove a
wonderful blessing to down-and
outers who are still living and
hoping.
REST ASSURED
Jiaf there’s more truth
than poetry in this:
There was an old maid
from Peru,
Who twenty one languag
es knew,
With one pair of lungs,
She worked twenty one
tongues,
I don’t wonder she’s single
do you?
You can rest assured that
you will find more than you
expect in both quality and
satisfaction if vou use
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Fill up with them—then
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FOR RADIO SERVICE CALL OUR SERVICE DE
PARTMENT. We Have A First-CIa«s Repair Man.
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“WE SERVE TO SATISFY/’
PHONE 330 SHELBY, N. C.
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