North Carolina Newspapers

    Ramblin’Bill Wants ’Possum
Dinner At His Arizona Home
Editor of The Star :
Douglas, Arizona, a city of fifteen
thousand population and Just twen
ty-five years old bids fair to be
come the county seat'of Cochise
county. Tombstone, a town of five
hundred population fifty miles
from here is the present county seat
and due to tire fact that a now
court house and Blsbee districts,
both Blsbee and Douglas arc fight
ing for the court house. An elec
tion is to be held on November 19 at
which It will be decided whether or
not the court house is to be removed
and to which place It will go. If re
Douglas citizens have raised the
aim of one hundred thousand dol
lars and will donate a free site .or
the court house. Blsbee citizens
have not raised any money but hive
offered a free site for the court
It 1* hoped by the writer that
Douglas wins because of some fitty
acres of land and several lots ht
owns in the city. By this being the
county seat, the land and property
can probably be sold for enough to
obtain a ticket back to North Cai
Hallowe'en celebration went oft
with a bang here. All the younger
generation was engaged In carrying
off everything of value like ga:e$,
fences, etc. and the older generation
went across the line into old Mex
ico and got drunk. The police lorcc
was kept busy until the wee hours
of morning and all ministers wci.c
on guard to prevent their churches
being burned down. Many nice new
automobiles were rutned with paint
and the tires were cut and air let
out of those that were not, dr-•rov
ed. The way everybody carried on
convinced me that there are not
enough asylums in the state.
It is all right for a bunch of bids
to raise thunder but when the old
er people take part and engage in
the destruction of property it ts
time that the wardens of the pri
sons receive seme new guests and
the insane asylums corral in those
that have escaped for far.
Arizona and California are still
fighting about the Colorado river
haying gone to the insane asylum
at birth.
The worse mau, I believe, 1-, the
Have Your Eyes Examined
DRS. H. D. & R. L.
Office Over Paui Webb &
Son’s Drug Store.
Civil Engineer And
Farm Surveys. Sub-divis
ions, Plats and General
Engineering Practice.
- Phone 417 -
"Went Away1
"I waa v*ry modi run
down in haalth. I had a
dsaadftil t'** aoaoaa tha
■ midcQa of my
back. I had a
doll, tired feel*
ing, and I dread*
ed the thought
of having to do
mj household
tasks. I «m
tired whan I
got op in the
morning. Igot
no rest front
my sleep, and I
wu sleepy all
day long.
and the Boulder canyon dam. Cali
fornia wants everything and Ariz
ona is determined that Calif irnla
does not even get her share and a
gigantic battle is contemplated In
the courts which will eventually re
sult that certain Arizona politicians
will become richer and the voters
and taxpayers of the state wHi be
come wiser and poorer.
Arizona did pass a law exempting
World war veterans $2000 in taxes
and that is sufficient because very
few veterans of the World war evsr
owned that much taxable property.
In fact few veterans In any stite
own that much property, lor vars
arc always fought by the poor boys
while the rich boys reap the ha; vest
In profiteering.
There will be Just two men shy
in the next war. That will te me
and the one they send after me.
We should build a monument ‘o
the memory and respect of Jo«se
James and his gang. They i -ed
horses and guns when they wanted
to get money. Today they use
banks and bankers, politicians end
oil reserves, chambers of commerce
and United States senators, shyster
lawyers and civic organizations, but
none of them have the guts to risk
getting shot.
A1 Jennings, one time famous
bank robber and mall bandit, nas
been visiting me here for the past
several weeks. He is a genuine phil
osopher. even though once* a rob
ber and murderer he is a whole lot
whiter and more decent than a lot
of our politicians today. He cild
risk his life In robbing trains wh'le
these scroundrels today do not risk
catching a bad cold when they want
to steal one hundred thousand dol
lars. Anyway they convicted Albert
Fall, and Sinclair is In Jail. But
who wouldn't go to jail for the cum
they got?
I am mad today because I starr
ed to old Mexico to get a drink and
they turned me back because I did
.not have a passport. Why should it
be necessary for an American citi
zen to spend $1.50 for a passport '0
enter a foreign country to spend his
money? If somebody' In North Car
olina will send me a formula lor
making corn llcker I will go into
business in opposition to those birds
across the line and give them good
stuff for less money. These for
mulas do not hRve to have any
names signed to them as Jong t.s
they tell me Just how to do to turn
out the real mountain dew. I al
ready have the still. Or X can steal
the copper tub out of my wife's
washtng machine and think I can
get a worm by taking the copper
colls from the family auto. So Jet
the formulas come good folks.
Another thing I want—that is a
'possum. I want one that stUi has
the skin on him, One that is still
alive will be mere preferable. X
also want some home made sor
ghum molasses and a genuine North
Carolina ham. Willing to pay the
price for all this and it. will make
this old Tar Heel mighty happy.
The last decent meal I had ans i
in North Carolina and I am hop- !
ing to get back there before anoth
er year passe? by and get all the
wrinkles ironed out of my '‘tummy.'’
I had a dream one night about
"shorten' bread" and gave my wife
a black eye because site could not
make it. If anyone meets a rial
friendly o possum please tell oun to
board a train and meet me in Aii
zona. I will treat him right a«d
make him welcome in the proper
manner that is deserving of his |
calling. Tell him to eat a full of j
persimmons before he departs for j
these parts because the nearest
thing to a persimmon out here is a |
Prickley pear and that is about me {
hundred per cent off color.
I was talking with "Doc" White
mire who worked at a local dius
store today about how good o'pes
sujn is cooked with ‘taters.’ Coc
hails from Hendersonville, N. C,
and he got madder than blazes at
me lor bringing up this subject and
threw a package of Epsom Salts at
me. He said If l got an o'possum
from North Carolina and did not
bring him out to dinner that he
would poison my pills the next
time 1 get a prescription filled. ‘Doc’
is a good natured cuss nhd a val
Tar Heel In the true sense of th*
word. Although I never did feel
that the people from Henderson
ville were as good as the people
from Cleveland county. X think
“Doc" is an exception and if he w as
not in the drug business I would
like him line.
A druggist soils ton cents worth
of powders and charges four dol
lars and ninety-eight cents for
them. But a butcher weighs his i
j hand when selling three pounds or j
steak so they are about equal when
It comes to graft. And we wiUetn
give them because a congressman
gets ten or twelve thousand a year
for being dumb and a Judge gets
credit for being wise when ne does
not know the way home.
There are some editors too that
are touted as being pretty wise that
should be shot at sunrise for r>ot
sewing machine agent who will
trade a new machine for one almost
rcw and charge one hundred dui
lars to bo*t when tlie trade m ma
chine would have lasted another 50
years easily.
I uni an automobile salesman end
the only car that Is any good Is the
one that I sell. The one the fellow
Is trying to trade In Is never worth
very much. Put me and a sewing
machine agent in the same sack
and it ? hard to tell which will i.ill
out first when the sack is shook. 1
should have been a doctor. A doctor
has license to experiment and cut
on you. If he makes a mistake and
you die, he blames you for lib mis
take. If you live he takes the credit
for saving your life and charges
you in either case a plenty. Next
time 1 will tell you about the life
Insurance agent and the undertak
er. We have an undertaker in this
town who when he shakes hands'
with you he manages to feu your
pulse. When he finds a person with
a weak pulse he sees a lawyer and
the lawyer sees a doctor and ,rcttv
soon there Is a funeAl and i ie
tombstone man makes a call a ,d
sells a headstone.
Box 1125, Douglas, Arizona. Nor. 2.
Big Icebox Was Jail
In Town’s First Days
"Cooler" Once Had Literal Mean
ing For Erring Denizens
Of Michigan Village.
CrystalJSFalls, Mich.—The ten,;
"cooling in jail” had a literal mean
ing in Crystal Falls’ first jail, ac
cording to Herman Rau, one of th:
city's oldest pioneers. It was at the
time of the city’s first July 4 cele
bration. *
The streets had been cut out "of.
virgin woods only a year or two fc -
fore and stumps were everywhere
in evidence. There were only a. few*
buildings and lumberjacks toanu 1
the saloon-lined streets.
It was necessary to have police
protection, so Charles Hardin:, now
deceased, was appointed a deputy
by the Sheriff. Mr. Harding named
about a dozen deputies and Crystal
Falls was ready for Its celebration.
But it had no jail,
Harding waved away this obstacle
with instructions to "bring 'era
around; I’ll take care of ’em.'’ So
"bring 'em around” the deputies did.
The first lumberjack to come be
fore Harding was seized by the neck
and shoved into a huge icebox. The
same fate awaited the others until
the ice box was full. Then it be
came necessary to free the one wro
had beerf in longest every time a
new offender appeared.
The neighboring city of Iron River
had a plan np less novel. When a
prisoner had been taken into cus
tody in that jailless town, Andy
Boyington had a big double box
lumber wagon. The box was turned
upside down and the prisoner
chucked under it. Then two cords
of green cord wood was piled on
top. The prisoner was held.
Having qualified as administra
tor of the estate of W. M. Blanton,
deceased, late of Cleveland county,
N. C. this is to notify all persons
having claims against the estate of
said deceased to exhibit them to the
undersigned at his home in Latti
more, If. C„ on or before the 21st
day of October, 1930, or this notice
will be pleaded in bar of their re
covery. All persons indebted to said
estate -will please make immediate
payment. This October 21, 1929.
trator of W. M. Blanton, deceased.
A Minister's Farewell.
"Brothers and sisters, X came to
say goodbye. X don’t think God
loves this church because none cl
you ever die. I don't think you
love each other ,because I never
marry any of you. I don't tnink
you love me because you have not
paid, my salary. Your love lor the
nations are mouldy fruit and wormy
apples, for by their fruits ye shall
know them.”
"Brethcrn I am going away .0 a
better place. I have been called
to be chaplain of the state peniten
tiary ''/There I go you cannot come,
but I go to prepare a place for you,’
and may the good Lord have merry
on your souls.”
Cards Of Thanks.
We wish to thank the people of
the Dover and Ora Mill community
for the kindness and sympathy
shown us during our recent be
reavement. We also wish to thank
the Dover school children arid
teachers for their beautiful florr.l
designs. May God's richest blessings
rest upon you all.
While corn silage is an excellent
feed for the dairy cow, it Is not a
balanced one and some legume hay
should be given to supply suffi
cient protein and mineral matter,
from 6 to 12 or more pounds of al
falfa, soybean, cowpea, or red crim
son, or alsike clover hay, in addi
tion to the silage, is a good ration
Hay from Canada field peas, sown
with oats to prevent the peas from
lodging, also makes excellent
Women are raying: ‘‘Pfnkhara’s
Compound keeps me fit to do my
work.” ‘‘I wu nervous and all run
down. Now I eat better and sleep
better—”, “It helped my thirteen
year old daughter.”—“I took it be
fore and after my baby was born.”
—!*1 am gaining every day."
Lydia L. Pinkham’v
Vegetable Compound
TOWERING HIGH arc the giant separator* shown above.
They literally "track out" tha pura, crystal new-processed
"Standard" Gasoline from ths aspacially selected heavy
ails—and assure a uniform measure of smoother power.
I .... __>: .IE L«l Ilia i..ije stills on the
» . removed Is mobs room for
the new process crocking coils shown above.
Night and day those "cracking coils"
turn out endless tank cors ot new
processed "Standard" Gasoline to dll
the ever-growing demand. Here is
where the heavier oils ore removed
Today every motorist who drives up to
a "Standard" pump gets a new-proc
essed motor fuel .-. . quicker starting
and pickup .,.^.^many other extra re
finements . . I at
IT is truly a superbly-balanced fuell Conceived by the foremost experts in the
petroleum industry. Made possible by a special ifew cracking process, AND
We believe it to be the best popular-priced gasoline on the market.
Here are its six major specifications: quicker starting; quicker pickup; less knock
ing; less shifting; smoother power; high-test.
This is a really all ’round fuel that warrants everything we have said about it-**
and everything that thousands of delighted motorists have found in it.
We urge you to test its performance as compared to any other popular priced or
"non-premium" gasoline now on the market—in any car—in any way you wish.
Drive up to the nearest "Standard" pump. Fill your tank full, being careful that there
is little or no admixture of ordinary or inferior gasolines—to "cut" your new power.
Then make your own road test. Anywhere. Any roads. Any hills. Cold weather or
not. City or country driving. It makes no difference. Your car performance will im
mediately reveal the superiority of the new-processed high-test"Sfandard" Gasoline/"
On sale everywhere. At no advance in price. Performance-plus in every single drop.

Page Text

This is the computer-generated OCR text representation of this newspaper page. It may be empty, if no text could be automatically recognized. This data is also available in Plain Text and XML formats.

Return to page view