Counseling Needed For Sexual Abusers To Break The Cycle BY TKRRY POPK Kight years ago, a six-year-old Brunswick County hoy was sexual ly abused by a family member. His mother protected the relative. The boy became so confused and trau matized by the experience that he refused to talk. He never received proper coun seling. Instead, he was moved from one foster home to another. "Now he has molested at least five children that I can come up with be tween the ages of four and 10," said Detective Nancy Simpson of the Brunswick County Sheriff's Depart ment. "And there may be more." He was charged with the crimes and the judge ordered that he re ceive psychiatric treatment. He is fi nally getting the help he needed years ago. Victims becoming abusers is a fa miliar cycle that the court system is trying to break. One of the goals in a sexual abuse case is to provide the proper counseling for both the young victims and the defendants. I Local programs do offer to help break that cycle, hut they arc not al ways acccplcd. "For mania and daddy to have to get off from work to take them is a handicap." Ms. Simpson said. "They might show good will and lake them a couple of times, but that's not enough." When victims come forward to talk about being sexually abused, they arc referred to the Brunswick County victim's advocate program, which evaluates victims of both rape and sexual abuse to determine what help they may need. Trisha Brown, a juvenile psychol ogist with Southeastern Mental Health, also works closely with the sheriff's department to provide counseling to victims. About half of the reported cases of sexual abuse involve defendants who arc juveniles themselves, Ms Simpson said. Children who arc victims may sec the abusive action as acceptable behavior later in life. Unless they arc taught otherwise through therapy, they arc likely to becomc abusers themselves. Brunswick Center The Brunswick Center is an ackv leseent psychiatric unit at The Bruns wick Hospital in Supply which treats juveniles between the ages of 13 and 17. 'I"herc are a psychiatrist and a psychologist on the staff to work with youths referred to that program. It's goal is to "re-educate" the of fenders through intensive individual, family and group therapy, said Joe Pritchard, program director. "With the rc-cducalion model, we're trying to rctcach the kids new alternatives or ways to behave," Pritchard said. "It is set up where they experience consequences for their behavior, both positive conse quences and negative ones." Nine out of 10 juveniles referred to the program have already been screened by outpatient therapy, Prit chard said, such as the Southeastern Mental Health Center. They repre sent the most emotionally troubled patients seeking therapy for their past behavior. "We just want to ensure that ev erything that could be tried on the outside has been tried before they enter a hospital environment," Prit chard added. A person 14 or older may be tried as an adult, but defendants who arc under 16 arc usually tried in juvenile court. Mandatory counseling is often a part of the juvenile offender's pro bationary sentencing. "We've got to get them charged to get them the help they need." said Ms. Simpson. Both victims and offenders have been referred to The Brunswick Center for therapy. The program was developed in June 1989. It is also staffed by a master's level so cial worker, admissions coordinator and recreational therapist. The pa tient to stiff ratio is "basically three to one," Pritchard said. "We slay pretty full most of the time." Close contact is considered an im portant feature of the re-education program. Juveniles are given the chance to Icam new skills and lo gain a new outlook on life. Reporting Increases There is more reporting of sexual abuse today than in the past, espe cially cases involving older siblings who molest younger children in the family. In the past, such taboo sub jects have been swept under the car pct. "We still have a long way lo go," said Ms. Simpson. National statistics indicate that of all sexual abuse cases. 43 percent arc committed by family members, 33 percent by someone the child knows and 24 percent by strangers. Of the eases processed by die Brunswick County Sheriff's Depart ment, an estimated 95 percent of the defendants charged eventually plead guilty before ever going to trial. One of the reasons lor the high fig ure is that 75 percent of the suspects confess to dctcctives before the cas es go to court, Ms. Simpson said. She has been investigating sexual abuse cases for the sheriff's depart ment for 10 years. During that time, only two cases that have gone to tri al has resulted in not guilty verdicts. Her more than 300 hours of training in sexual abuse cases pays off when special interviewing techniques help determine if children arc telling the truth. Sometimes the children are ques tioned several times ovef a period of months. "It doesn't take you long," Ms. Simpson said. "Small children can not make up detailed lies about sex ual activity. Little children just don't lie naturally." The sheriff's department investi gated 61 cases of sexual abuse in 1986 and 65 cases in 1987. Last year, 85 cases were reported with charges filed against 16 people. Of those suspects, 14 pleaded guilty in court and two were found guilty by a jury. This year. 96 cases have been re ported so far. Twelve cases have gone to Brunswick County Superior Court. In 10 of those cases, the de fendant was found guilty while two arc expected to enter pleas in Superior Court this week. There is a stack of 40 manila file folders on Ms. Simpson's desk, each one representing a ease of re ported sexual abuse still under in vestigation with charges pending. The Department of Social Services must now report suspected abuse cases dirccUy to the sheriff's depart ment for investigation. "It's not just this county," she said. "It's everywhere. There arc many adult victims out there who have never told anybody." Families Affected Counselors look beyond problem behavior as drug abuse among juve niles to search for underlying prob lems such as sexual abuse within the family. Dealing with abuse that occurs within the home is difficult for the victims, the family and in vestigators. "Incest is just so horrible on the whole family," Ms. Simpson said, "yet it's the most common. We spend about as much time talking with the mother as we do with the child." Ms. Simpson says children need to be encouraged to break the cycle by telling someone when abuse oc curs. Yet many times the fear of breaking up a family will force chil dren to keep quiet. "I've had a mother tell a 12-year old girl, 'If you had kept your big mouth shut none of this would have happened!,'" she said. "For them, it's easier to deny it. It's just too hard to deal with for most families." A man scheduled for sentencing in Brunswick County Superior Court this week realizes he has been recommended for an activc prison term for repeatedly sexually abus ing a four-year-old girl. It isn't the first time he has been charged. His family has since fallen apart. The home has been sold to help pay at torncy fees. Sometimes ihc public is upset when sex offenders receive proba tionary sentences. "If they think the person can be helped they will put the offender into a therapy pro gram." Ms. Simpson said. "But for some people, therapy isn't going to help. A lot of ume it's the age of the child and the frequency of the abuse that's taken into consideration." 'Ihc number of reported cases usually increases in September and October and just after the holiday season in December and January. "The reason is obvious. "When school starts the children feel more comfortable telling a teacher or friend," iMs. Simpson said. "A lot of kids, if they arc visit ing their daddy during the holidays, then they'll tell him about it." The figures show the effect that having someone to talk to has on ju veniles who are victims. There were 14 cases of possible sexual abuse reported to the sheriff's department in September this year and 15 in October. This month, there have been nine cases reported. To weed out the false reports from the actual cases, children are interviewed alone since most will not want to taik about the subject with their parents in the same room. Getting past the embarrassing mo ments can be easier w hen the par ents are not around. "I learned 10 years ago not to talk to them in the home." Ms. Simpson said. "There are interviewing tech niques you use to determine what's a lie and what's not." Someumes a case will be reported and the suspect's name will sound familiar. Checking her files, Ms. Simpson will note that the suspect was once a victim of sexual abuse. There arc a number of such cases where the cycle was never broken. "We try to encourage parents to keep their children in counseling," Ms. Simpson said. "Years ago. no body coped with it" PHOTO CONTRIBUTED Going Once, Twice... At iMUghinghouse made a convincing auctioneer Nov. 15 at the Long Hay Garden Club's annual auction, held at the home of Vicki Jones in Copas Shores. With the assistance of member Dianne Itaxley (left), Ixiughinghouse auctioned crafts and hand made items for more than $1^200. The funds will be used for lo cal projects that include an annual scholarship to a high school student planning a career in horticulture. Club members and their husbands will gather Dec. 6 at Sandpiper Golf Club for a social. ^ Wishing you joy and peace for the holiday season. *Bmi tisziric^ Isfands ^ cV\Somen s Center, (P. SO.. Complete Gynecolcx.ical AND Obstetrical Services Robert E. Hassijer, m.d. F.A.C.O.G. Board Certified and Recertified #16 Medical Center Dr., Supply, 754-9166 L. Bookworm's Christmas Catalog TIIK Cl.ORIOl S IMPOSSIHl.K BY MADFI.INK l. KNCI K, II.I.I s BV MOI'lii The birth of Jesus was 4 Olonous Impossible Like love, it cannoi U* *.? *|>l uncd. il can ?nl> he rejoiced in. In this comjiellingK written nanativc. inspired and illuminated hy (> lotto's glorious frescoes Irom Ihe Scrovegni Chapel. Madeline L'F.ngle give* eloquent voice lo ihe miracle of (lod't love A K*?k U> he treasured for all seasons Sun.?i A Sthiutff (Ik) $19 95 CARL'S C HRISTMAS . . BY Al.KXANDRlA DAY Most books now in stock. Here he is once more, jumping irao our hearts with his lively spirit and patient demeanor. Carl, the per A DAY WITH WII.Hl R ROIIINSON feci (?) babysitter an (wi)common Rottweiler Join BY HIU.IAM JOYCE ^'"1 *nd Baby on Christmas F.ve as they dccorale a Wilhuf Rnhimmi .11*1 h?s hdl friend snend ? lollkll tree, go s *rolui?. and meet Santa Clans A Christinas tng. free wheeling day of fun searching for (?rand ?Uventure that everyone wilUhetish. father's missing false teeth, only lo findCirandfather Fairar. Stnui (he >$10 95 Come by for your copy. missing. With his own unique brand of bi/.arrc im COI OR KARM aginative humor. Joyce leads rea11 Honor Rook, children will find Lm ,?j TIIK DKKRM.AYKR or mals hiding in familiar colors -ml shapes a? they turn TIIK FIRST WAR-PATH page after brilliantly wolural page. As each die cut BY JAMKS KKNIMORk COOPFR; page ts placed on lop of the next. a new animal is ILLLS. BY NX*. WYETH ciealcd The superb dlustratiuns of N.C. Wyeth capture all the IjpptiK.*! (K; $12 95 excitement and adventure of frontiersman Natty Rumpo in this new cdiuoii of the final volume of SOMETHING lilt; HAS BKKN IIKRF Cooper's classic series The IstuhsnUKLnv loirs BY JACK PRKLI *1 SK> . Scnhner'i (he) $2295 ul 12/31 ILIA'S. BY JAMKS STEVENSON $24 95 the real trr Something big has Ken here and left '>56 footprints aamm m Prehilsky's delighdul new hook of poeuv. C hild w?ren will enjoy die humorous treaimer.; of a variety of subjects from imaginary animals to family to friends "??.at " ' ' ****** ( id (cotQ ^ T-V CAUSEWAY PLAZA ? HOLDEN BEACH ? 842-7380 ? SUN-THURS10-6, FRI & SAT 10-9 Our Treatment is Designed to Relieve Your Stress... Not Your Savings When someone has a problem with alcohol or other drugs, there is a great stress placed on all those around him - family, friends and employers. PATHWAYS is designed to help reduce > s-yr those stresses x -.^lf someone you hy keeping know needs treatment costs as ?s/7 ' help, call us at low is possible and N 497-2116. getting that person /S^C\ Wc iu:,t miKlu back into the have the mainstream program that of life as soon f J both of as practical. L ?J vou need. 809 82ND PARKWAY ? NfYRTLE BEACH. SC ? 29572 A Service Of Grand Strand General Hospital Kimberly Jo's Boutique Ladies' Clothing ? Wolff Tanning LAYAWAY NOW FOR CHRISTMAS 50% OFF SELECT GROUP OF EARRINGS 30% OFF 1 FULL RACK of BLOUSES Wolff Tanning lO Sessions?$25 HOURS: Mon-Sat. 10-5:30, Sun. 1-5, Other times by appt. | "fiame Brand Ladies Fashions At Affordable Prices" I HIVY. 179 ? OCEAN ISLE ? 579-7670 Contact Lenses After 40 Enter a nezv ivorld of vision Your 40th birthday marked the beginning of a new era in your life. It is a time of maturity, change, growth, enjoyment and fulfillment. Then it happens. Your vision for reading and other close .vork begins to blur. Your distance may also be affected. Your eyes are changing. There is, however, good news. You do not have to resign yourself to read ing glasses or telltale bifocals. Today's contact lenses offer you a viable al ternative and a new yet natural world of vision. Consider the choices Von can choocp ?firm, flexible and oxygen-permeable bifocal contact lenses, available in many brands and designs to meet your individual needs. ? monovision instead of reading glasses. You wear a contact lens, focused for near vision, on one eye. It works for many. ? monovision in place of bifocals. You wear a pair of contacts, one focused for near seeing and the other for distance vision. Many people adapt to this easily. The final decision, however, depends on the results of your vision exami nation. Your optometrist will advise about which option is right for you. Take the road to successful ivear You want contact lenses that will give you the best vision possible; com fortable wear; and compatibility with your lifestyle. That's possible, even though your eye care needs are now more complicated than they were a few years ago. It means that you must consult with your contact lens practitioner, who should be skilled in prescribing for people over 40 and willing to spend the extra time that may be needed to give you contacts that will meet your vision needs and not compromise your eye health. Thorough care is more than fitting contact lenses. Remember, a skilled, concerned doctor of optometry will: ?offer a variety of types and brands of lenses because no single type or brand will work for everyone. ? provide a thorough eye examination, covering your general health and vision history; a series of tests to determine eye nealth, evaluate your vi sion needs and determine your prescription; and additional procedures to prescribe contacts and determine which lens is best suited to your eyes. It usually takes 30 to 60 minutes or longer. ?offers and insists upon office visits for follow-up care during the first few months of wear. ? provides long-term care on a regular basis for as long as you wear your lenses. A/lake your optometrist your partner Go to your examination prepared to discuss: ?healtfi matters such as allergies, medications or oral contraceptives you are using and eye or general health problems you have. ?your seeing needs on the job, at home and when pursuing hobbies. ? any seeing difficulties you are experiencing. Ask your optometrist about the pros and cons of the different types of bi focal contacts and about monovision. Bring up any concerns you have about contact lens wear. You may, for example, have questions about adapting to contacts; caring for them; or putting on and removing them. Your new knowledge combined with your optometrist's knowledge, ex perience and expertise makes the perfect partnership for selecting the rignt contact iens for you. Consider cost Your total cost should cover your thorough diagnostic examination; the lenses; lens care kit; training on proper lens wearing and care procedures; and unlimited follow-up visits over a specified time. Ask your optometrist to calculate the total charge in advance and tell you specifically what the cost covers. Be wary of bargain prices. They may cover a minimal examination and inadequate follow-up care. You need and deserve thorough care Help yourself to safe, successful long-term ivear ' When you receive the proper care, you will find today's contact lenses are marvelous for seeing and a joy to wear. They will give you more natural vision and a more youthful appearance. To maintain your good vision and comfortable wear, though, you need either to take a few minutes each day to clean your daily-wear lenses or to follow carefully your optometrist's lens care instructions for your ex tended-wear lenses. Vou also need to return periodically for a professional check of your eye health and vision status, plus the condition of your lenses. Since the fre quency of long-term follow-up care varies by lens type and individual, your optometrist will advise what is right for vou. In the interest of better vision from the office of: Brunswick Vision Care Chris Moshoures, O.D. Pine St., Shallotte, 754-4020 Salt Marsh Sq., Calabash, 579-4020