PHOTO BY Bill. FAVM
PILEATED WOODPECKERS can be seen
along the drive-through "nature trails" in
Brunswick County.
These, drive-through "nature trails" would make ex
cellent places for bluebird trails. Perhaps some Scout
troop or other organization could work with the De
partment of Transportation to place some nest boxes
along the fences before another nesting season next
spring.
Scan the roadsides for plants and animals as you
drive along the by-passes. They arc no Sanibel or
Rocky Mountain trails, but they give us fir.", examples
of what Brunswick County drive-through nature trails
can be.
Drive-Through
'Nature Trails'
BY BILL FAVER
Some of the most exciting natural areas 1 have seen
were drive-through nature trails. They were not substi
tutes for walking, but provided op
portunities for those who would
\ rather drive than walk,
j^yp Two of ir.y favorites arc the na
jlW*lTD fTTf lure trail in Ding Darling National
Wildlife Refuge at Sanibel Island,
BjEfc-A Florida, and Trail Ridge Road in
f Sklg. Rocky Mountains National Park in
' W Colorado. But closer to home, we
"UP have two mini-trails here in Bruns
wick County. They are both high
faver speed bypasses ? one around Boli
via and one around Shallotte.
The recent construction and new grasses are begin
ning to show some signs of old field succession, par
ticularly around the ditches and creeks where mowing
can't interfere. Cattails abound in several places along
with some sedges and other grasses. Wildfiowers
bloom in the open sunshine and along the *:dges where
open area and woods come together. Roadkills tell us
there are rabbits, raccoons, and opposums in those
woods.
Hawks positioned in tall trees let us know there arc
Field mice and other small rodents they can prey upon.
Red-headed woodpeckers appear on the trunks of
some pine trees and the undulating flights of large
pileated woodpeckers carry them across the highway
as they move from one patch of woods to another.
Great blue herons and great herons, the white ones,
are sometimes seen feeding in the wet ditches. Cattle
egrets comb the medians and the roadsides for insects.
Even a kingfisher can be seen balanced on a favorite
perch, watching for any evidence of minnows in near
by streams and ponds.
GUEST COLUMN
Yes, You Can Help An Alcoholic
BY CONNIE LEHR
This is a very important message
to all who have said, "You can't help
an alcoholic, they have to help
themselves."
My wonderful husband of 16
years died May 8 of liver cancer.
Years of alcohol abuse destroyed his
liver. Neither of us were "hard-core"
drinkers, but just moderate drinking
v. an destroy one's liver.
We both had many chances to
change our livs. God sent many
warnings to stop drinking and live a
life without alcohol. Neither of us
asked anyone for help.
1 accused my husband of being
too weak. He was told he had to
stand on his own two feet. They
need the guidance of a friend or
loved one to stop drinking.
My husband's life was cut short at
the age of 35 because no one knew
he needed help but me. I hope this
article can save thousands from the
guilt and grief I live with.
Both of us decided never to drink
alcohol at the beginning of this year,
1993. Wc were so happy to start an
other 16 years of marriage alcohol
free. But it was too late for my dear
husband. His symptoms appeared in
March of this year. Rapidly and
painfully he died at 8:15 a.m. on
May 8.
I could have made a doctor's ap
pointment for my husband.
I should have taken his hand and
both of us gone to an Alcoholics
Anonymous meeting.
I should have caiicd churches and
family members for help.
Now I have this unbearable guilt
thr' haunts me day and night.
My husband was my best fiiend.
He was everything to me. He loved
life with a kindness and gentleness
that radiated from him. He was
loved by many.
Watching my husband deteriorate
in just one-and-a-half months was
the most pain I have ever witnessed.
His parents, who love him very
much, held his hands with me as he
took his last agonizing breath. His
doctors said eventually I would
thank God he didn't suffer as long as
most patients with liver cancer do.
In my heart, I know my husband
would be alive today if 1 had only
tried to help him. My husband pro
mised to help others know the dan
gers of alcohol abuse if he lived
through this. Unfortunately, he can't
write any articles, but I can.
You can help your friends and rel
atives if you care enough to try. So
many support groups are willing to
help if you just make that first call.
It's too late to try after they're bur
ied. I am living proof of the sorrow
and guilt that conies from not help
ing. Remorse is a terrible burden to
live with.
My husband did not die- in vain.
His message is loud arid clear! Don't
turn your back on anyone in need of
alcohol rehabilitation. With the help
of people who care, anyone can stop
drinking. Life is a very precious gift.
The article is intended to initiate
friends and loved ones to help that
alcoholic get the help he or she
needs to provide a productive and
happier life. I wish I had.
Connie Lehr is a resident of the
Ocean Isle Beach area.
Assigning Blame In The Whiny ' 90s
There is a comic strip on my bul
letin board in which Calvin says to
Hobbes:
"Nothing I do is my fault.
"My family is dysfunctional and
my parents won't empower me.
Consequently I'm not self-actual
ized.
"My behavior is addictive func
tioning in a disease process of toxic
codependency! I need holistic heal
ing and wellness before I'll accept
any responsibility for my actions!"
Hobbes says: "One of us needs to
stick his head in a bucket of ice wa
ter."
Calvin replies: "I love the culture
of victimhood."
I'm with Hobbes.
A recent Associated Press article
explores the phenomenon of "adult
children" re-examining their pasts
and confronting their bewildered
parents with with a litany of griev
ances. We're not talking about the
biggies ? physical, psychological
and sexual abuse. These confronta
tions are about "parents who were
t mntionally distant or overly criti
wno disciplined a little too
harshly, or spent more time at the of
fice than at home; who, wittingly or
not, discouraged big dreams or erod
ed self-esteem."
Allow me to confess to what the
article calls a "get-over-it" philoso
phy by saying SO WHAT? From
time to time, my parents did all
those things. From time to time, I do
them, too ? both as a daughter and
as a mother. I wish they hadn't, they
wish they hadn't, and I wish I didn't
They didn't mean to, and I don't ei
ther.
Call it dysfunction if you wish.
I'll just call it the way life is.
Here in the Whiny Nineties, it is
customary to blame all our screwi
ness on our upbringing. To derive
our excuses from self-help books
and our emotional enlightenment
from Oprah's guests. It's the bland
leading the blind.
Here in the Whiny Nineties, the
lines have become blurred. June and
Ward were always supportive, fair
4Z'-> /
and accessible. You and I would be
too if we worked from a script and
the spotlight was only on for 30
minutes each week.
I have a friend, an only child
whose schizophrenic mother was
married five or six times. Between
her mother's courtships and disso
ciative episodes, my friend was left
pretty much to raise herself, and
somehow she managed to turn out
as warm, stable, giving and sensible
as anyone I've ever known. She tells
stories of her childhood without a
trace of self-pity. She can lode back
and see the hilarious absurdity of
circumstances which would outdo
most things you've heard people
bellyaching to Sally Jesse Raphael
about.
As many kids do when they don't
have much of a family life, my
friend married young and was a
mother before she was done being a
teenager. But the marriage lasted ?
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? Lynn
Carlson
some 24 or 25 years so far ? and my
friend made her living by operating
a fp.n-.ily day care home, exception
ally nurturing a half-dozen toddler
psyches all day every day for years.
She was magical with children,
despite the grave shortcomings of
her own maternal role model. She
believed in marriage and family, de
spite having grown up with a parade
of stepfathers. She knew better than
anyone that childhood holds some
hard knocks for everybody, and that
it's never to late to have a happy
one.
Somewhere in her from way back
were the ingredients of a secure,
well-adjusted adult with a clear idea
of what she wanted to give and get
from life. She found a way to make
it work for herself. By herself.
And her mom doesn't deserve the
credit for that any more than well
meaning parents should be blamed
when, despite their best efforts, a
child grows up with an overwhelm
ing need for someone to blame for
his or her misery.
MORE LETTERS
They're Not AH Realtors;
There's No Official Position
To the editor:
One of your s'lofT writers, Enc
Carlson, wrote an article in the June
24 edition of your paper in which he
made several erroneous statements.
First, the term Realtor is a registered
trademark of the National Asso
ciation of Realtors. Not all rc M es
tate agents in our area are Realtor:
At the meeting with the Bruns
wick County Health Board there
were several Realtors present, but
only three of them were present rep
resenting the Brunswick Islands
Board of Realtors. They were Jim
my Sanderford, president; Bil1 Rob
ertson, president-elect and Peggy
Stanley, secretary-treasurer. The oth
er Realtors and real estate : gents
present were representing their own
firms.
As of this writing the Brunswick
Islands Board of Realtors has not
taken any official position on the
subject discussed at the meeting, and
only one representative of the Board
of Realtors was selected to serve on
the committee. The balance of the
committee is made up of both
Realtors and real estate industry
people. Further, Mr. Holdcn s
"doomsday" rrcdiclions were his,
and not the official position of the
Brunswick Islands Board of Real
tors.
The term Realtor was clarified at
the meeting but apparently Mr. Carl
son did not choose to distinguish be
tween Realtors and real estate agents
in writing the article.
The 100 members of the Bruns
wick Islands Board of Realtors
would appreciate your publishing a
clarification in your next issue.
Jimmy L. Sanderford, President
Brunswick Islands
Board of Realtors
Commonly Confused
To the editor:
I enjoyed reading Bill Faver's
column "Mixed Signals From Ano
ther Time." It is an interesting ac
count of some of the writers' experi
ences with snakes. In this article,
Mr. Faver states, "Perhaps we
should curb our automatic response
to kill snakes and take lime to lcam
about their habits and their part in
our world." I could not agree more.
With Mr. Faver's words in mind, I
bring your attention to the photo
which ran with his column. The cap
tion identified the animal in question
as a "poisonous-copperhead." In
fact, the animal pictured is a harm
less brown water snake ( nerodia
laxispilota).
The brown water snake is one of a
number of common snakes which
are often confused with venomous
forms. Water snakes bare a vague re
semblance to copperheads, and
some older and darker individuals
can bear a striking resemblance to
couonmouths.
Therefore, if a water snake is en
countered on dry land, it is often
identified as a copperhead and
killed. Likewise, if the snake is
found in its more typical habitat, in
or around a body of water, it is often
killed as a couonmouth.
Of course the logical way to deal
with most any snake is simply to
leave it alone. Most snakes are not
only harmless but are in fact benefi
cial. Even the venomous forms have
an important place in the natural or
der. Several native snake species, in
cluding three of the six species of
venomous snakes which occur in
North Carolina, are now protected
by law.
Even if the snake you encounter
is venomous, as long as it is c*>ay
from human habitation and is left
unmolested, it poses very little threat
to you or anyone else. In most cases
common sense, and in some cases
state law, requires that the animal
simply be left alone.
Russell H. Rollins
Winston-Salem
?PRIMARY CARE TREATMENT ?
;? \ JS
NOW ACCEPTING APPOINTMENTS
I WALK-INS WELCOME
1 *S*v, jj
EDITOR S NOTE: Bill Faver did
not take or write the caption for thr
photograph which accompanied his
column on snakes.
Speak Out On Smoke
To the editor
Recently, state government has
proposed legislation that will limit
the ability of local governments to
regulate smoking in public build
ings. House Bill 957 is now being
considered by the state Senate, and
will go into effect Oct. 1 this year if
it passes the Senate. The bill will re
quire public buildings to maintain at
least 50 percent of the public space
as smoking areas, and will prohibit
local governments from passing
more restrictive regulations.
Some statistics should be re
viewed when considering this issue
First, 75 percent of Americans do
not smoke cigarettes. Second, the
number of adults annoyed by smoke
from someone smoking near them
has risen from 46 in 1964 to 69 in
i , Conclusion: most people
don t smoke and are annoyed when
exposed to smoke in public places
The Biunswick County Board of
Health is reconsidering a proposal
that was not passed earlier this year
to regulate smoking in public places
The regulation is not yet in final
form, but proposed setting aside
non-smoking areas of 25 percent in
restaurants (for the 75 percent of
non-smokers), requiring bars to post
signs stating that smoking is or is
not allowed, and prohibiting smok
ing in public areas of retail stores,
service lines, elevators, public re
strooms ana polling places. It would
not prohibit a business owner from
declaring their place of business
smoke- free.
Finally, it is obvious that regula
tion of smoking in public places is
going to occur. It may be decided at
the federal, state or local govern
mcnt level, and there will probably
be an ongoing battle between the
powerful tobacco industry lobbies
and health-oriented citizen groups.
If you are interested in having a
say in how smoking is regulated in
Brunswick County, please contact
the Board of Health and/or the
Brunswick County Health Depart
ment to make your feelings known.
Health board meetings are open to
the public and allow a time for pub
lic comment at each meeting Make
your feelings known. Let's find out
it the 75 percent of non-smokers has
a louder voice than the 25 percent of
smokers.
Dr. Brad Ken
Shallotte
EDITOR S NOTE: Dr. Kerr serves
on the Brunswick County Board of
Health.
No Respect
To the editor:
On Wednesday, June 9, my hus
band and I attended the graduation
?LTy dau?hter ^ the Class of
c k** at West Brunswick High
ocnooi.
Graduation from high school is a
wonderful, joyous and emotional ex
perience for those graduating as well
as for the parents of -hese young
adu Its. ^ 1 was vcry disauJ?*
the lack of respect shown the gradu
Sk hm hS y those who a"cndcd
ihisumc-honorcd ccremony.
as wH|CJCrC many who
as well as a great many leaving be
fore the graduation was finished.
There were people young and old
i m ? T* constant,y billing, going
up and down steps. Even during the
Pomp and Circumstance" proces
s.?nal .n which the students Sh
ed up the steps and to their seats, nu
merous people would walk either up
or down the steps along with the se
d.s^rthiswasappa,,in8and
Most of the time I couldn't even
hear the names of those graduating
ST renCiVmg thc,r diP'oma-s ^
al the yelling and talking. I realize
rclauves and friends were happy
their children, but it went beyond a
congratulatory yell.
I was vcry proud of my daughter
nm?H 7as graduating- I was also
proud for every other senior gradu
'In?;, to?- 11 was their day that
should I not have been blemished
with disrcspcct and dishonor by
those in attendance. To have shown
our children such blatant disrespect
iTi?2rS dUr!n| the,r graduation
is thoughtless and disgraceful.
How can we as parents expect our
respect" arwi hnCCt ^'""Sbtfulness,
respect and honor when we our
selves show them the opposite?
I graduated from WBHS in 197T
and it s a graduation I will chensh
oTlwi The.faduation of ^ Class
o! 199 J I will never forget, for even
diough it was a happy occasion. I
will also remember how many nu
merous uncaring, thoughtless people
showed such disrcspcct for those
young people who were graduating.
I hope that for the future WBHS
graduates, that those who attend will
be more thoughtful and respectful
by being on time, sitting in their
seats and not leaving until the cere
monies are over.
Isn't that the least we can give our
that ? UP?" thc,r 8raduati?n, or is
that asking too much?
Linda McMillion
New Bern
Deserves Recognition
To the editor:
We wouJd like to thank Dr
Kendall H Suh and the South
Brunswick Isles Civitan Club for the
support it has shown our local high
school. On June 3 this organization
presented scholarships to six West
Sr Amy Caison,
Apnl Curnbec, Emily Gore, Kristy
Ho"den TUmCr 3nd Keith
When this information was print
ed in , the June 10 Brunswick Beacon,
the Civitan Club did not receive
recogmuon for their generous con
tribution to our students. I feel this
organization should be recognized
ouLs tending efforts on behalf
of these students.
Thank you, South Brunswick Isle
Civitan Club.
Janet and Allison Holden
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