Newspapers / The Perquimans Weekly (Hertford, … / Jan. 1, 1987, edition 1 / Page 6
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 1, 19gg" " Perspective A word that changes everything Some of the ways my dictionary de scribes the word "But, are: "except, except that, except for the fact, on the contrary." We all know the word. We've all had it used on us. It's only three little letters, but it practically controls the direction the rest of our statement will take. Most of the time, "but" wiles away its hours tearing lives apart and ripping hearts out by the roots. It's always out there some where in the middle of what we'd "Uke to say and what we Must say. For example: I love you, but... It's just what I need, but... You can use it, but... Think about it. Sometimes "but" is not such a big deal, but what about all the times it really is. How many times a day do you use this word to signal to the person you're talking to that, though you've started off beau tifully, just the way they hoped you would, you're suddenly preparing to veer off in the opposite direction im mediately after the word "but" has been placed in your sentence. "But" has been used to cushion more hurt than any of us will ever realize. Unfortunately, it does not cushion at all. Instead, the mere mention of the word in a sentence im mediately places us on guard Though we might have just smiled in wardly to ourselves at what was on the left-hand side of "but," the sud den inclusion of that word in the same sentence means that we're going to hear the right-hand side as well, which will automatically cancel out all that was just said on the left hand side of the sentence. I know I'm not making much sence, and there's got to be a better way of saying this, But I don't know what it is, and for that, I apologize. I've been messing on this column for weeks and it only gets worse, so I just stopped where I was. The word "and" is usually more gentle and normally brings on more of the same instead of cancelling out the good and signaling for the bad. Such as: I am going to wash my hair And take a bath. I love you And I want to to marry you. Take time off And don't worry about it. But, then in sneaks that old "but" again, and first thing you know, you're not saying what you said at all. Example: I am going to wash my hair and take a bath. But, I still won't go. I love and I want to marry you. But you know that's impossible. Take time off and don't worry about it, But you'll have to make it up. See what I mean? I haven't been sitting around here thinking about this just in order to have something to write about this week. I've been noticing the impact of this word All my life. My earliest recollection of "but" was when my daddy told me, "Yes, it's a fine little frog alright, But you cannot bring him in this house," right on up until yesterday when a magazine editor called to say, "Yes, it's one of the best pieces you've submitted, But somebody else beat you to it." Maybe I'm just looking at the neg ative side without really giving this necessary part of our vocabulary a fair chance. So, just for the sake of fairness to the English language, I suppose I can search out a few good "but" examples: For instance: I know it's late, But I just hatl to look into your lovely eyes again. I know it's expensive, But you de serve to be pampered sometimes. Maybe you're overweight, But I don't really care about that. O.K. I concede. "But does have its good points... occasionally. But, not usually. It's generally a bad word for the person on receiving end to have to deal with. And, unfortunately, we've all been on that receiving end plenty of times enough to know how that one little word can change everything in our lives. Nicholson workes to free slaves Some things seem to skip a genera tion in a family. Josiah Nicholson was much more like his staunchly Quaker emancipating grandfather than his disowned slaveholding fa ther. 'Continuing his grandfather's con cern for the slaves ever-present in ante bellum Perquimans County, Jo siah was one Of the North Carolina Yearly Meeting trustees in 1832 for receiving title to slaves who would be helped to freedom. As legal owners of slaves, the trustees were able to pro tect the black people and to seek their resettlement in free territories. Josiah Nicholson proved that a southerner could prosper without the use of slave labor. During the 1830s he acquired several farms. Some of his holdings were, of course, inheri tances; it was a Quaker practice for relatives to see that all family mem bers were provided for. His wife also inherited land from both her parents. On February 14, 1842, Josiah pur chased 421 acres from two of is step children. This was part of the farm on which he had been living since his marriage. With the land legally his he had plans. Josiah's next moves were recorded by his son: "In 1845 Father decided to build new buildings for a home, on another part of the farm. He had planned the buildings and engaged a carpenter (a free Negro) and being himself skilled in the use of carpent er's tools he wished to give his entire time to the erection of the buildings, and to be relieved from the care of the farm." Josiah placed one son in charge of the farm. That son declared: "We had a pleasant summer and the har vesting of the wheat, oats and flax, and the cultivation of the corn, pota toes, cotton and garden vegetables were satisfactory." Josiah proceeded with house con struction. Clay was dug on the farm and 30,000 brick were burned there in a kiln. Perhaps free black brickma son Peter Modlin assisted in con structing the house, for the rear chimney was marked with the ini tials "PM". This house was long af ter described by Drucilla Haley York in inventorying Perquimans' old buildings: "This basic double-pile two-and-a-half-story late-Federal style dwelling had an asymmetrical three-bay facade. It features an un usual combination of a center-hall plan with a single pair of exterior chimneys. The stepped single-shoul der chimneys laid in 1:5 common bond stand at one gable end. A shed roof porch protects the first-floor fa cade, which is shethed with flush beaded boards, and the double-leaf entrance has a mulit-pane transom." Until 1862, captain was the highest rank in the U.S. Navy. Letters to the editor Editor The Perquimans Weekly, God made man in His own image, the story says. Therefore God and man are? at last somewhat? simi lar. Any person who hates his neigh bor but says he loves God is a liar. Therefore, if you love your neighbor, you love God. God sent His child to die for hu mans, the story says. Therefore God must think that humans are very im portant (or He hates His son). There fare God could be said to have a "man-centered philosophy." Could it ba that God is a "secular humanist? ' ' Jim Bridges SM Terry St. Elisabeth City, N.C. 27909 01MM-C177 THE PERQUIMANS WEEKLY DEADLINES NEWS 10 00 AM Church News Ek ) MONDAY RETAIL & CLASSIFIED DISPLAY ADVERTISING 3 00 P M MONDAY CLASSIFIEDS 5 00PM MONOAY Deadlines are Mondays prior to Thursday Publication I ? III, Hi Bloated tummies & charge cards Author urges people to listen rather than talk "H Several years ago, country singer Porter Waggoner did a song that told us to "be careful of stones that we throw." The song was about people who talk more than they listen, and told of one man's tragedy as a result of such. The others involved in the story learned a lesson from that man's tra gedy, as can each of us. The lesson in the song was to the point. We are all created with two ears and one mouth. It should be clear God intended for us to listen twice as much as we talk. It is sad few of us do. I'm reminded of the story of the man who realized he needed to pur chase a hearing aid. He didn't want to spend much money, so he shopped around from store to store before buying. As he prepared to make his selection, he asked the clerk about the cost. "It depends," said the salesman. "They run $2.50 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2.50 model," the man said. The clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just put this button in your ear and stick this string in your pocket," he instructed. "How does it work?" asked the customer. "It doesn't work, But when people see it on you, they talk louder." In reality, our communication problems aren't due to people talking too softly, but because most of us talk too loud and listen too little." People actually pay as much as $100 per hour just to have someone to listen. Psychologist Carl Rogers said, "A person's real need, a most terrible need, is for someone to listen to him or her, not as a patient, but as a human soul." Often, all that is needed to heal a wounded soul is to have someone who will truly listen. As we learn to listen to the beauty that God h&s given us. We listen to the wind, listen to the birds, listen to the trees, listen to life. When we truly learn to listen, we will discover so much that has been missing from our lives. We all know people who talk without listening, without thinking. Words spoken can never be taken back, and we oftfeti,, discover that the person who only lis tens to himself has a fool for an audi- ' ence. j As we head into the new year and. begin to think of resolves for the cod ing months, we should add to the top j of the lists, "I'll learn to listen louder" as one small child said m , well. . I've enjoyed sharing my views with you over the past months and look forward to doing so in the months to-) come. I honestly hope that the com-,,, ing year will bring happiness and ;, peace to a world that needs to learn/, j to listen more. n? I. Banquet held to honor Jim 'Catfish' Hunter 20 YEARS AGO Jim Hunter Banquet Slated For January 15: Final preparations are being made for the Jim "Catfish" Hunter Banquet to be held at the Hertford Grammar School on Wednesday, January 15 at 7 p.m. The guest speaker will be Charles Finley, owner of the Oakland Athletics. J.W. Dillion, banquet chairman reports that tickets sales have been brisk. There are still tickets available, how ever, a complete sell-out is antic ipated. Tickets are available from the following members of American Legion Post 126; Willie Ainsley, Buddy Tilley, J.W. Dillion, Wesley Nelson, Shelton Morgan, Sheriff Ju lian Broughton, Hilton White, and Broughton Dail. Industrial Group Elects New Offi cers: The Perquimans County Indus trial Development Commission at it's regular meeting in the month of Dec. elected officers for the coming year. Those elected were J.F. Hollowell, Jr., Chairman; Joseph Rogerson, Jr., Vice-Chairman; J.A. White, Treasurer; Russell C. Baker, Sec re tary. Officers are elected each De cember to serve for one year. A board member may serve more than one term of office. Other members of the Industrial Development Commis sion Board are: Woodley Bundy, Warner Madre, Savage Jolliff, Ben Chambers, and Johnny Bray. These members along with the elected offi cers will govern and make policy de cisions for the Industrial Devel opment Commission in the year 1909. >i Tom Brown is the director of the Per- lj quimans County Industrial DeveK J opment Commission. ?|l Chairs Donated To Library: An; 'I other chair has recently been given to the Perquimans County Library^ The donor is Mrs. Shelton Morgan, This brings to seven the number of chairs that have been donated, since the appeal for chairs by the library . t illmllrallrnllmllmlirallrallrallrallralirailfSl! ! A note from Gina Well it's time for the new year, and with the new year comes New Year's resolutions. I have decided that this year I am not going to make any promises to anyone but myself. Each year I make New Year's res olutions that affect my husband, and other members of the family. Then yrhen I fail they become disappointed in me, so this year I am not making resolutions that involve them. Instead I am going to keep silent about my resolutions, and they will only affect me. My first resolution is to listen more, and talk less. Everyone has a proble with this. Most people are more concerned with themselves than others. I want to learn to listen to what people are really saying. My second resolution is to quite putting things off. I have a terrible habit of waiting until the last minute to do things. From this point on 1 am going to try to do things as soon as possible. THE PERQUIMANS WEEKLY Established In 1932 Published Each Thursday By The Daily Advance. Elizabeth City. N.C. Second Closs Postage Poid at Hertford. N.C. 27944 USPS 428-080 Gina K. Jepson Editor Carol A. O'Neal Advertising Manager ONE YEAR MAIL SUBSCRIPTION RATES In-County Out-Of-County *9.00 *10.00 119 West Grubb Street P.O. Box 277 Hertford, N.C. 27944 Member North Carolina Pratt Association National Newspaper Association North Carolina Attociation of Community Newspapers NEWS COUPON The news and editorial staff of the Perquimans Weekly would like you to tell us what kind of stories you like to see in the paper. If there is something or someone you feel is impor tant ? or some provocative issue you would like u$ to exam ine ? please, let us know. Just clip and fill out this coupon. Include as many details as possible (Names, addressses, telephone numbers, etc.) It may not be possible for us to use some of the stories sug gested but we are always looking for new ideas. So, next time you think of something you feel would make a ! rtod story, send it to: News Coupon, Perquimans Weekly, O. Box 277, Hertford, N.C. 27944. STORY IDEA: COMMENTS: The Perquimans Weekly 119 W. Grubb St. Hertford I 426-5728 t
The Perquimans Weekly (Hertford, N.C.)
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Jan. 1, 1987, edition 1
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