Newspapers / The Perquimans Weekly (Hertford, … / April 2, 1987, edition 1 / Page 4
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Perspective Divorce proves most difficult on children When people tell me they enjoy reading my columns, it is only natu ral that their comments make me 'feel good. I've noticed most com ? ' ?ients concern columns that relate to l?my experiences in life, or of situa ' lions that we have all found ourselves ? Iff from time to time. Probably the most comments'have been on the story about my daughter ?and how it feels to watch your child grow knowing you can't be an active j part of her life. Sure, they are special J jjoments, but it is difficult to really ; f hare with someone when all the time ? allowed is a few days once a month ? and perhaps a couple of weeks during ? Ue ummer. From the comments I live received, there are more cases ? flfiplar to mine than most of us real ? The "other" parent really does ? care. ? >*We hear so much today about na t lional "tragedies." From teen preg J fancy to AIDS, it seems there is a J fonstant attack on the traditions that > made this nation what it is. We all ! know the divorce rate is higher than 1 it has ever been, in fact, less than 2 $ne-half of today's marriages will } jist. Divorce has become such a com ? mon practice that we pay little atten ' fion to statistics anymore. J Divorce in itself should not be con I $dered a tragedy. There is a greater ? Q-agedy in two people continuing to s Kve together in unhappiness. Even ? those who remain together for the ' iJenefit of their children are making a i&istake. In such cases, the children ?Mfjll often suffer more as a result of Jtjie marriage than they would if it ? ended in divorce. In either case, the Sdhildren will still be hurt. That's the Jneal tragedy. I I There are many who believe we !(face too little value on the sanctity ?of marriage by making it simple to ?obtain a divorce. It is possible to de stroy years of commitment and the Jl&es of many in only a few minutes. ;iVJost divorce proceedings take less jthne than the marriage ceremony. ? "Perhaps this line of thinking is '-true. Maybe it should be more diffi cult to end a relationship that could {possibly be saved with just a bit more effort than has been taken. Perhaps jthere should be a requirement that divorce be granted only after those involved received mandated counsel ing. Perhaps the costs in real dollars should be greater. Even these measures will fail to have much impact on the soaring di vorce rates. Society has become so complex, the daily demands on indi vidual lives is so great, there are so many temptations. Plus we have become so permisive and unmoralistic and too conscious of individual "rights." The traditional family structure of years gone by has changed so very much. In many fam ilies, both parents must work in order to make ends meet often resulting in much less time for open conversa tion. It is difficult to sit and "chat" about things when worries about jobs, deadlines, children and other things roam so large. Values in living have all but been destroyed as items of discussion in our schools. Not so long ago, such teachings were as im portant as any subject matter. The church seems to have lost the zest once noted in promoting moral liv ing, and as an institution, appears to be confused about its role. Govern ment policy is often such that it dis courages families staying together. We place so much emphasis on the importance of self-importance of self-expression and individual rights that we are not encouraged to at tempt to work things out. Instead, we run to the courts for answers. It is doubtful we'll see any real change in this attitude in the years to come. Divorce will continue to be the most popular method of resolving family problems. And the children will continue to be the ones hurt the most. It is a shame there can't be a better answer, but there isn't. Courts play active roll in county government ? ? The Inferior Court of Pleas and Quarter Sessions of Perquimans fcounty was in session on February Jo, 1862. In its nearly two hundred years of sittings, the Court had never t>een faced with greater danger. Per quimans was threatened with inva sion. | A rather full bench of nine magis trates was present. Samuel Nixon, tosiah Perry, William R. Blanchard, [athan Bagley, Joseph R. Billups, henry H. Small, Edwin Brace, Jo seph F. Newby, and James W. Mul len (justices) joined Court Clerk James C. Skinner in taking "upon fiemselves the Oath to support the Constitution of the Conference States." J The Court had been acting for the Confederacy since the previous April when it had begun plans for the de fense of Perquimans and the raising <Jf military units to fight for the 9>utb. J It was early foreseen that North Garoiina had a vulnerable coastline inviting attack. Back in November tie County authorities had responded t$ an order from the governor for 'fhe Militia of the County of Perqui mans to report themselves armed afcd equipped with fowling pieces and s^ch other guns as they can procur er., at Roanoke Island." JThe county's -espouse was not ex actly what the go -ernor had wanted. The justices of the peace (who gov erned the county) stated: "The ne cessities of our County requires a de tachment of the Militia for home protection as a County police, there fore it is ordered... that sixty men from the County.. .be detailed to pre foim military service (in the county) chjring the day and serve as a regular patrol during the night until the re turn of the regular militia from Roa noke Island." That attitude from the state's coun ties generally weakened the de fensive force which could be set be fore the anticipated invasion. Skeptics would say there were not enough men to stop the Union Army in any case, but super patriots would not hear such talk. All that was just past this February one hundred twenty-five years ago. After binding themselves irrevoca bly to the Confederacy the county au thorities ordered Col. Joseph G. Granbery to call out the Perquimans militia and dispose them for the pro tection of the county. The men left in the militia were not the best fighting men, because the army had already gotten two full companies of local able bodied sol diers. Capt. William Nixon and his "Perqui mans Beauregards" were relatively safe in the forts near New Bern, but Capt. Lucius J. Johnson and the "John Harvey Guards" were on Roa noke Island. From Roanoke Island came news that could shock the court. (Part 2 next week.) If you are a new business or a business who does not advertise frequently You can advertise weekly for as little as When a Nickel would play the jukebox ; I There are little ways you can tell you're growing older without looking at the calendar or gazing into the mirror. Lately my dark hair is begin ning to show some signs of the salt and pepper look, and I can predict the weather by the ache in my left hip and shoulder better than the most well equipped of weather bureaus. While waiting for my pizza order the other night, I decided to insert some money into the jukebox and play my favorite songs while I passed the time. I approached the jukebox with my money ready and my choices in mind. The machine was not that much unlike the ones from long ago, but as nickle no longer bought the music, that's for certain. I pulled out a few more coins and scanned the song titles. I scanned the titles for a Long time. Long enough, in fact, that somebody finally came to get me because my pizza was get ting cold. I dropped the coins in my pocket instead, and returned to the table with a downtrodden look. "I couldn't decide," I told everybody. But the real reason was that I simply didn't recognize the titles anymore. And not too many of the names of the singers either. Now if That doesn't make you feel a bit outdated, nothing will. And then, there is the place I pass on the way into town. Once it was The gathering spot for everybody under age twenty. You could get wonderful milk shakes and hamburgers there, and enjoy all your friends, to boot. It's also where I met my husband. I mean, where else would he Be when the whole world was at the Tasty Freeze. I must have circled the front of that place a hundred times every weekend in my red and white Fari lane. Today, my old stomping grounds has been converted to a church. I used to be such a fanatic about cleaning that I thought had to wax the lawn. That, too, has passed, thank God. And I'd mow the grass so often that my yard looked like the crowning locks of newly inducted army personnel. Now I've developed a fondness for the "scraggly looking lawn," having totally abandoned my enthusiam for the lawnmower, and that bald spot out there in the yard has stopped worrying me altogether. I don't choose my cars like I used to either. Today, I'm more apt to select a sedan over a swept-back two door, and my conversation with the salesperson leans more heavily to wards the mileage than the horse power. I'm known as someone other than Gail Roberson these days too. To ten nieces and nephews I am now "Aunt Gail," and to everybody's children, "Miss Gail." - And here's another thing. I once thought my parents were daffy wheq they didn't recognize a community friend who'd come by to play witi^ me.. .a child who grew up and lived' their whole life right down the road* from us. I now wish to apologize t?j my parents on bended knee. Th^i neighborhood kids around here nowC have to introduce themselves to all the time. And, when I my closest neighbor over across I road, I have no idea if I'm sp to her sons or her husband when I phone is answered. I just say, "whiclrj one are you," or "let me speak your mama or your wife." I swear it was just a year ago that bought those boys building and story books. Now, they're both i tall as Georgia pines, and could protH ably snuff the life out of a grizzly iiw* one quick squeeze. 3 I just don't understand where allj the time has gone. And God, how I> wish it would slow down just a little?! while it's going. 3 Cherry wounded in Viet Nam 20 YEARS AGO Capt. Corbin Cherry Is Wounded In Vietnam: Captain Corbin L. Cherry, son of Mrs. W.C. Cherry and the late Mr. Cherry, who was wounded in ac tion in Viet Nam on March 25, 1969 by fragments from a mortar round while he was accompanying troop on a combat operation, has been evac uated from Viet Nam to Japan, Cap tain Cherry's mother was notified Monday of this week. Captain Cherry received wounds to his left leg result ing in traumatic amputation of the left foot at the ankle and a superficial wound to his abdomen, according to a telegram from Washington, D.C. to his mother, received March 27, from Kenneth G. Wise ham. Major General USA, the Adjutant General Depart ment of the Army. Captain Cherry an Army Chaplain, volunteered his service to his country and was guest speaker at the morning warship serv ice at the First Methodist Church on S' Jtday, June 25, 1967, just prior to his reporting for duty as an Army Chaplain at New York City. Sunrise Service At Up River Ceme tery: A sunrise service will be held Easter Sunday morning at 5:30 at the Up River Cemetery. Up River and Piney Woods Churches will hold the joint Easter Sunrise Service Carolyn Long In ECU Concert: The University Chorals and the Varsity Band of East Carolina University combined talents and presented a spring concert Wednesday night. The 75 chorals members (C) and 62 band members (B) represented 43 N.C. counties and 10 states. Miss Carolyn Long, participated with the choral group. Published Each Thursday By The Daily Advance, Elizabeth City, N.C. Second Clas* Postage Paid at Hertford, N.C. 27944 USPS 428-060 The news and editorial staff of the Perquimans Weekly would like you to tell us what kind of stories you like to see in the paper. If there is something or someone you feel is impor tant ? or some provocative issue you would like us to exam ine ? please, let us know. Just clip and fill out this coupon. Include as many details as possible (Names, addressses, telephone numbers, etc.) It may not be possible for us to use some of the stories sug gested b ut we are always looking for new ideas. So, next time you think of something you feel would make a good story, send it to: News Coupon, Perquimans Weekly, P.O. Box 277, Hertford, N.C. 27944.
The Perquimans Weekly (Hertford, N.C.)
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April 2, 1987, edition 1
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