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A little understanding
can go a very long way
Perhaps you've noticed the same
things I have, or maybe you haven't
given much thought to it.
Have you noticed how quickly indi
viduals change when they separate
from their partner or become di
vorced?
Perhaps if some of these changes
had occurred prior to either of the
above happening, the results would
have been different. Wonder why
things that all of a sudden become so
important were of little concern be
fore?
If you have friends or associates
that have recently separated or di
vorced, notice the changes they'll
make. Women who seemed to care
little about themselves begin to take
a renewed interest in their appear
ance. If they are overweight, they be
gin to lose weight very quickly. Often
hair styles are changed and makeup
is applied in places never noticed be
fore. Looking attractive becomes
very important, and old wardrobes
are discarded and replaced with the
latest fashions. Personalities change
and they become more conscious
than ever before of things that pre
viously went unnoticed.
And men are the same. They go
through many of the same changes,
and in some cases, are more inclined
to sport a totally "new look" than
women. And their dispositions to
ward women seem to change over
night. They attain that look in their
eyes that seems to say, "Look at me,
I'm a free man and available."
It's simple to understand many of
these changes. In order to get back
into the "swing" of things, it is nec
essary to update one's image. It is
doubtful much interest will come if
old habits and ideas are kept. While
there seemed to be little need to im
press your former partner, in order
to attract attention, changes must be
made.
That separation and divorce have
become an accepted part of society is
nothing new. Marriage is no longer
the binding agreement it once was,
and the odds against a long-term
relationship occurring are great.
There are many reasons why so
many marriages fail. Of these, a
complacent attitude toward one's
partner is the greatest. We begin to
take feelings and needs for granted,
and forget that everyone is an indi
vidual. The desire to do the little
things that are important to a
relationship begins to decline. It
seems we often forget how to care.
This is not to say one should not feel
relaxed in a good relationship. If you
can't be yourself with the one you
have chosen to be your partner in
life, then there are deeper problems
than are realized. You shouldn't have
to be at your "best" all the time. But
neither should you become a slob, an
individual that takes things for
granted.
Perhaps if we put only one-half of
the energy into making a relationship
work that we would expend attempt
ing to establish a new one, there
would be no need to be looking.
Of course, not all relationships are
intended to last. Many marriages be
gin for the wrong reasons and many
people will never really be content
with a long-term relationship. They
will never find a partner that meets
all their needs. Ijttle can be done in
these situations. But for those who
truly want a lasting and rewarding
relationship, a little understanding
can go a long way. And we'd proba
bly be surprised to find what a differ
ence just a little special attention
would make.
I've said it in this column before
and I think it is worth repeating.
While the grass may seem greener on
the other side of the 'jnce, it just isn't
so. Once you've made the effort to
cross that fence, you'll find the only
place the grass is greener is over the
septic tank. Why cross the fence if
you don't have to?
Weekly constitution corner
CONSTITUTION CORNER
By Charles W. Lowry
D.Phil. (Oxon.).D.D.
One of the impressive things about
the Constitutional Convention was
the spirit of civility which animated
all its sessions and deliberations.
There was little or no politics in the
narrow sense of the term. Discussion
was full and free, and there was no
attempt to shut off counter proposals
or different ideas.
It is notable that at the end of the
presentation of the Virginia Plan and
its amendment and refinement by
the whole assembly which had consti
tuted itself a committee of the whole,
the consideration of the report was
postponed "till tomorrow, to give an
opportunity for other plans to be pro
posed." The morrow was June 14 and
on that morning Mr. Patterson of
New Jersey arose and observed to
the Convention that it was the wish of
several deputations, particularly
that of New Jersey, that time might
be given them for study of the plan
reported from the Committee of the
whole and also "to digest one purely
federal, and contradistinguished
from the reported plan." The Con
vention without hesitation consented
and adjourned for the day.
On June IS Mr. Patterson was re
ady with what has come to be known
as the New Jersey Plan. It represents
the antithesis in what might be called
the dialectic of the Constitution in its
totality. I am referring to the Hege
lian formula, applied to all history, of
thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. Our
Constitution is actually a fairly strik
ing instance of the fruitf ulness of the
Hegelian dialectic.
After Mr. Patterson had laid his
plan before the Convention, the mat
ter of giving it a "fair deliberation"
was discussed, and it was agreed that
it too should be referred to a Commit
tee of the whole, along with the ear
lier plan. At the request of Mr. Lan
sing of New York, however, this
move was delayed for 24 hours to
give friends of the Patterson propo
sals time for further preparation
with a view to their support.
The New Jersey Plan, put forward
by Mr. Patterson, was specifically a
revision by way of correction and en
largement of the Articles of Confed
eration. The United States in Con
gress was to remain central but to
have additional powers. The Con
gress would be authorized to pass
acts for raising revenue, by
levying a duty or duties on all im
ports into the United States, by
Stamps, and by postage on all gen
eral post office mail. Requisitions
when necessary would be in propor
tion to the population ( instead of land
values) with a three-fifths formula
for indentured servants and slaves,
and should be mandatory. A Federal
Executive and a Federal Judiciary,
much as in the Virginia Plan, would
be appointed by the Federal Con
gress. The Acts of Congress and
Treaties made and ratified under its
authority should be the supreme law
of the land.
i
New
Feature
This feature will be
called the Perquimans
County Resident of the
week. This feature will
high light citizens of
the county, their activ
ities and interests.
Anyone who would
be interested please
call or contact Gina
Jepson, at the Perqui
mans Weekly Newspa
per at 426-5728.
A riding vacuum cleaner -
Why hasn't it been thought of
before?
How honorable is your honesty ?
HOW HONORABLE IS YOUR HON
ESTY? -
I'd like to think that most of this
world is honest. However, life has
taught me better. Into it has entered
many a dishonest person that
claimed to be otherwise. Like Ralph
Waldo Emerson, I too have discov
ered that "the louder he talked of his
honor, the faster I counted my
spoons." And, I've found it out after
the fact, like most everybody else.
Total honesty would prevent a lot of
things. ...particularly divorce. Of
course, total honesty would also pre
vent a lot of marriages too.
Whenever, I think of honesty, I am
always reminded of the story of the
honest finder, by Paul Bodor, which
was sent to. me a while back by Os
wald Singer, who did an authorized
translation of it.
It seems that the subject of honest
finders came up at a social gathering
in which a group of men were talking
in the corner. It was the opinion of
one of them that there were no such
people as "honest finders." He re
lated that he had lost many things in
his lifetime, including a watch, brief
case, ring, dog, umbrella and eyeg
lasses. However, none of them were
ever returned to him.
Then a man named Joe spoke up.
"You may say what you will, but
there IS honesty in the world. Listen
to my case. It happed a few weeks
ago." Then Joe began the story of the
honest finder.
"On a clear, sunny day, I took a
walk on the promenade. It was evi
dent that others had the same idea,
for the street was already crowded
when I arrived. Suddenly, someone
from behind tugged at my coat
sleeve. I turned around to see a pale,
poorly-dressed young man standing
before me."
'Excuse me sir,' the young man
said. 'You just lost your wallet.
Please count the money. It is all
there. All two thousand dollars.'
"Excitedly, I snatched the wallet
out of the young man's hand and
hastily counted the bills. To my great
delight, the two thousand dollars was
really there. I very gratefully shook
the hand of the finder and took two,
one-hundred dollar bills from the
wallet to give to him as his reward.
But, the young man refused the
money, stating that he had just done
his duty and it would not be proper to
accept it. Afterwards, he simply dis
appeared into the crowd. So, as you
see, there really ARE honest people
in the world. Especially honest find
ers."
There was a profound silence as
the impart of the story seeped into
the gentlemen gathered in the group.
It was plain to see that it had a great
effect on all of them.
Finally, breaking the silence, one
gentlemen commented, "But tell me,
Joe, how can anyone be so careless
as to take a walk carrying two thou
sand dollars on his person, and take
such a chance as to lose it that way?"
"I wondered about that myself,"
Joe replied thoughtfully. "The loser
must have been a very stupid person
indeed."
History of the Eagle Hotel is revealed
The southwest corner of Church
and Grubb streets has always been
reckoned as one of the prime busi
ness locations of the town of Hert
ford. When the town was first laid out
in 1759 that lot was desired for its
proximity to the Courthouse and the
path leading to the ferry landing.
In the 1760's Charles Jordon ac
quired the choice corner lot and
erected a dwelling house. Soon he
took out a license from the county to
operate a tavern in his house. TTiat
proved to be the nucleus of one of
Perquiman's most famous buildings
and businesses.
When it finally disappeared a cen
tury and a half later, the tavern in
Jordan's house had become a long,
sprawling building known as the Ea
gle Hotel.
It is an article of faith among Per
quimans' residents that George
Washington spent a night at the Ea
gle Hotel. Did he, indeed?
That article as just stated cannot
be true, for the establishment in
question was not known by the name
Eagle during Washington's lifetime.
The tavern-hotel had been called J or
dan's, then for many years Wood's,
then Hathaway's, and only took the
name Eagle late in the nineteenth
century.
The article must then be recast.
Did Washington stay in the building
which later became known as the Ea
gle Hotel?
The answer may be found in Wash
ington's diaries. In October 1763 the
Virginian journeyed into North Caro
lina to study the Dismal Swamp and
the drainage out of it, with an eye to
acquiring land which could be devel
oped. (He did not then or later "sur
vey" the area as folklore would have
it.)
By his own account, Washington
and his party "crossed from Elias
Sta liens (one Miles above the upper
bridge on Pequemin) across to a set
of People which inhabit a small slipe
of land between the said River Pe
quemen & the Dismal Swamp" and
on into "Paspetank".
Washington specifically stated he
did not go as far south as the other
bridges on Perquimans River. He did
not go to Hertford. Therefore, he did
not stay in any local tavern, neither
THE
PERQUIMANS WEEKLY
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i 1 North Carolina Association o? Community Newspaper
the predecessor of the Eagle nor any
of its business rivals.
Since it can be proved that George
Washington never stayed in the Ea
gle Hotel, how did such a belief be
come common in Perquimans?
There survives a story which may
hold the answer. Sometime before
1915 a boy
wondered at the Eagle and its evi
dent age. "How old was it?" he
wanted to know. An oldtimer obli
gingly told him it was so sold he
thought George Washington must
have stayed there. The facetious Re
mark came to be mistaken for a dec
laration of fact.
NEWS COUPON
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gested but we are always looking for new ideas.
So, next time you think of something you feel would make ;a
good story, send it to: News Coupon, Perquimans Weekly,
P.O. Box 277, Hertford, N.C. 27944.
STORY IDEA:
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119 W. Grubb St. Hertford
,f; 426-3728