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Let Women Rock the World!
- - , ....... , , .
f There. Jiaa allers been plenty of
big fat-mouthed quidnunks and
quidnuhksies.spoutin' off their
'eut-balf bit", about looking
tmaiiishfor.awoman to vote.
Biit I-can't see 'the point.
So if ybu'H -double up your fist
for a seat and sit down on it,
ryour ; Uncle will proceed to fire
off his goose-gun a few pot shots.
y l Now if poking a little piece of
' paper in a ballot box makes a man
out ofa woman, well, then hang
ed if Nature ain't pretty easy hit
on the " funny-bone." Yes sir-ee,
if women can split wood in the
Qljyardjvplow steer,- or. keep
' 'tuue- to Tankee-jDoodle oil. a pair
"of dirty breeches' with a battlin'
stck without . knocking a pucker
in her ; womanhood, it does seem
that she could; ncjrape up enough
physical strength to slip a little
. piece iof paper in a ballot-box.
Ajxjl if I thought she couldn't I'd
have, ?my little s thinkery unscrew
ed and treated fdr the., swivels,
swap eyes with a darning needle,
and go to . Madegascar, and ketch
grasshoppers for the heathens to
eat. v
w ow. . n may - oe a woman '8
sphere io chop wood? feed the
horses andgo to millbuif such
'.as that won't make, a- woman
j'.iinanisH?, I can't see for my life
whytuc1cing a little "slip of paper
into a? ballot box expressing her
i piuion,sholild inake siich an aw
ful changed h . "J N;
i "unayve uetgooa uora, mienaea
omen to lug a pail pf . rater . and
ciuugijw.uaojr.uu eaqn ,mp
while men handle.,s:the ballot,
Thich, of course is a tliunder-of--
a-sight ' harder to t handle than . a
pair of babes.and avpailtof water,
but J can't see' the pointy , V
I can t'!see whys she; hasn't, as
...Wj1 right to say hpw much tax
Biimj-iie paiQ on nervmiik cow and
;:: t i Pas somebodylwho.hasn'even1
- j . ' Ecadtrs "Comrades, and Brothers: Allow, me to dropmy cap xay feet and talk withy oaor'xnih - :? -V;Vn
: '7 fot th3 yea have passed into my pains in tha years gone by. I fed 3 bur thoughts oft fcavo'r:;! and parted. We turn 1 ? i
k ' , V i- . r3,03 tJli "r- - and ;onr face to vthe f ntnrj? ; Yra-names are treasures heaped npon, the urn of n:zicry. . I want you to ccntia- : t ,
C f 0 f 3 ny rc i:r;3 1 811 youT friends to bsccnreaders, and if -extra inducements and squire drilirj will v?in,"I am gcinj.to : :
s C , .5 Cf rc"-"' -t!i4hirty,days. If .your subscription expires within thz next six toonths deart to respond to this clTer; I - -
.,rs ..f , T71 1 rt-r.: ycur n-no up csa year. from the tints it czpircs , Here is my THIRTY-DAY1 OPFE3: Cczl 25 cents, and the names aud i - '
:tW l - c: rjrc3 cf ycur friends, and I will send Tho Lash a whole year anJ cbo .renew or extend ycur subscription lor one' Vycar"5 - " i
-1 -V. Vc::l ' -'3 il n:r: cit This cffer;only hold3 need fcr thirty idays. If,I fail tohear frcn yc: I skill conclude that you-tava : "
- ; ! . " " -irr -i i43 ciTrard march. I dcn't believe ypuf would do.tLat. . llowwiU YOU :! .ZTt ycur paper to thre3;cf year ; . '
' 'i ;- . . r f" ' - utesription?,r.Ycu (ret tho 1 -per another year frc fcr dcing thia.'l T Mzr6 III hear frcm f ycul fcr I :
V'7o Vy,-77V 'V-'-v c7.f'fH: tAVi- . 747 ' " -v k
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seen them - Yes,' and why in the
name of Bill Bryan shouldn 't she
be as much : interested in. , raising
local tax . money to educate her
baby: as the straddling blackguard
who sells likfcer to make her hus
band drunk!
"Women's sp'her.e!"
When I hear one of these auti
suflrragettsvscrew up hjs mouth
iiu in resemDies ine snout yoi a
stud-grubwornr and jingles his
leather cdw-bell about, women's
"sphere," I can't help but won
der if the devil made kickers ac
cidentally, or whether they are
liKe nousa-nies just come so.
They seems ,to think her sphere
is to do drudsrerv. and keen her
laeas uuwii 'io iue levei pi;Deiiev-
ing her; husbandt is tf"god, v While
he does the elevathigr work of
voting forjr
I alwarolhiuk that these bril-liant-mmjed
snacker jipes who op
pose this slip of paper business for
the women, want their wives to
fetch wood and water while they
tug away at the sup of paper,.
I don't love my wife so abom
niablyas to want v her to grow
angelic carrying theA, heavy end
It 's - a . mighty hard task to be
come a nigger under- the banner
of marriage.
- Women have done housework,
rocked cradles, and been kept a
wake nights by a drunk husband
a-snorin' till she nehteously de
serves a ballot-whack at the hell
ish saloons.. If men's spheres was
pruned down to rockin ' cradles
and churning I much fear there
would, soon be a baby panic and
a buttermilk drouth.
If a man has; just sense enough
to not put his breeches on hind-
side before he . is .allowed to vote
on any queston,while the presi
dents f daughters' can't vote a-
gainst making a Iawt to hang ev
ery "woman-who '.wears a corset
andcu?ls her hair.v Maybe there is
common hdss sense in such a sys
tem,' but : blamed ifrl 'can ; see the
''.A.W. -.7..' ' .
point.'
If womn are chatties or apples
whyperon't we buy andysell;them.
If Jmey: are machines; forr niakin'
ieVan'shirts an', so forth,1 why
on!tJw'e'get a patent on 'emVr
worn
whiskey m
resent 'somethingthtktdidn't suit
her.-vl never see aUeWiszho
wants ine to reprent him whe.
he's thirsty 1fojHSomething to wet
CHEW THIS WITH YOUR TO
BACCO.
Say, all you spoon-shaking cofr
t f eesweetners, v JleV sHfcalk a - little
c.QmmQnsfinse..,.wnen- .uongressj
put sugar on the reduced list you
heard people talking about the
sugar industry being j ruined
that it would be so cheap it
would float on top of your coffee.
But now the sugar barons have
proven to you that - the tariff
hasn 't a blamed thing to do with
the price of sugar. Recently the
price has been doubled : showing
that the - law of . supply and de
mand plays no part in fixing the
prices of ( our, commoditties. f The
price is set by the infernal barons
aud we must pay it or do without
it. ; " ,
Now: let's see if you ever knew
a game like that to be played in
the jttice ' of postage stamps.
Stamps and sugar are both made
trom produets grown out oi tne
earth, and, both suppliecTby hu
man labor. Stamps are not made
and sold for a speculation off of
all who mustuse them, but for the
common good of all. Then sup
pose the ; goyernment owned and
operated the; sugar refineries and
paid those - who work , in them
just i suclT rprices s,as are paid all
government, employes.. You would
todaybebuying.'ydur sugar at
the actual cost of. producing it,
which would be less than one
half of, the, usual price, and those!,
Nti i ul 1 a man tan 1 lcuic&ciil A
aat tne pons, put a arinx oi
ShMften make hun rep-
77
'WWW
infernal food gamblers would be?'
working in 'the government em--ploy
for a living' instead of steal-&
ing theirmiHions of dollars, from
the consumers. Now Mister this?
is not 'mere theory, but has beenl
actually put, . into practice where . ;
government ' ownership has been
recognized, and it's ' going to
come right here in the United
States of America in spite of the!
lnid Thomases who : can tsee
half way to the end of their ndses.
The banker calls it ''interest"
And heaves a pious sigh, .
The landlord calls it "rent"
And he winks tne other eye,
But the good old honest burglar -Hi
simply calls1 it swag.":l ;:
THE LASH SUGGESTS AIT AIR
The-merchant; calls : it profit'
' The war of '61-4Jcould never
have gotten along without '.' Yan
kee Doodle" W "Dixie V and. .
I have decided to select, a nation-1
al air for the Cternuuis NowI' v
don't know wheier"they aretgct-'
ing to "O-it or not, but I''
know they ought W' It is 'jta'apv; .
propriate for every soldier- toT v
sing who is engaged in the" great,"
war of today .It is the;iiatibnalf :
hymn, of Siam, in the ' original V
Siamese language. I hopeu are x
scholar enough to translate it in- '
io xiiigiisa. An ior'iear.yc get '
embarrassed, maybe you1 he ,bet '
ter go out back of, the barn when
you get ready to'translate-iti: Im-$
agine yourself one of the Einper
or's hireji assassins fighting forf t
more "gbid: braid to radd to . his
royal rohe, and then: sing these!
lines to tne tune of "America."
O wKa tan hasSiamT '
; Gee wha tan nas Siam!
- A '.O wha tan? nass I '
;,.Wha' ta-fOof las Siam i
' t
5 Bucha dar nas Siam !
0- i Osucha nassl -
uuuua una oiam i
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