| OpNIO
SR
Some Emails good,
but most just junk
We've all been familiar with junk mail for a long time. I usually
throw it directly in the trash can.
Now that we're in the internet generation we're faced daily with
junk Emails.
I enjoy getting Emails - at home and at work - from friends and
others who send along inspirational stories,
funny stories and good news about people with
Kings Mountain ties.
But, this column is about some of the junk. Our
well-meaning government officials who devel-
oped the do not call list for telephone customers
should also come up with a do not Email law with
a stiff penalty for persons who continue to send
junk over the internet to people who don’t want
to receive it.
Closing in on 61 years old, I get a laugh (that’s
about all I can get out of it) from the Emails push-
ing medication and patches that are supposed to
enhance your love life. They always begin with
something I can’t repeat here or lines such as
“bring back some romantic moments that you lost” or “looking for
something magic and mysterious that can help you attract women’s
attention?” I'm really not interested in attracting women’s attention,
unless they're waitresses in a good restaurant and I'm hungry. I
don’t know any magic except how to make money disappear, and
I'm mysterious enough as it is.
There are Emails galore promising that you can be “slimmer and
trimmer” in a week. I'd love to be slimmer and trimmer - and I could
be if I had the will power to go on a diet. But, refer to the above para-
graph and you'll know why that’s not going to happen.
If the daily result of the NC Education Lottery isn’t enough, there
are numerous Emails from online casinos. I've never gambled on
‘anything more than a half-and-half at a football game or an occa-
sional lottery ticket or putting a dollar in a baseball pool. If I were to
get into online or any other gambling of that magnitude I'd lose
what little I have in a matter of minutes. To me a full house is when
the family gets together for a reunion or Christmas, and a royal flush
is when the king’s commode works properly.
You can also lose your *#* if you bite on any of the Emails that
want you to think they’re your bank and there’s a problem with your
account. Those Emails that start out “your loan has been approved
and we're ready to give you $351,000” are sort of puzzling since I
haven't applied for a loan.
People supposedly in foreign countries would love for you to
believe that they have inherited millions of dollars but must have
someone with a U.S. bank account to partner with them to get it.
You're promised half the estate. You answer that one and you'll need
a loan because your bank account will be cleaned out in a matter of
minutes.
Many people tell you about the great stock tip they passed along
to you last week and how much money it made for them, and that
NA
Gary Stewart
Editor
you should try it. The only stock I ever knew anything about were
cows and chickens.
Now, I'm receiving invitations to “click here” to print out photos.
I shudder to think what would appear on screen if I'd click. Besides,
I print enough photos as it is.
With the new year I thought I'd finally landed on an Email that
would be big news. It said it was from Elvis but if he’s still alive he’s
not anywhere around here. It was written in a foreign language and
I no speaky anything but southern redneck English.
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“Turn to the Experts
ER
Give away your spiritual gifts
One evening a workman was
wearily plodding home when he
stopped by the side of the road to
rest. Just then, a woman came by
hauling a cart filled with flowers.
The smell of those blossoms was
so sweet that
it seemed to
take away the
man’s weari-
ness and
lighten his
spirit.
“How
: much must I
Jeff Hensley pay io have
some of those
flowers?” he
asked the
“Good sir, please take
what you wish,” she replied. So
the man filled his arms with
blossoms and hastened home.
His wife and children welcomed
him home and, like him, were
delighted by the sight and smell
of those flowers. It was as if their
Meditation
woman.
SH A
The Kings Mountain Herald
aroma refreshed the soul.
So as not to lose this treasure,
the man took the flowers and
planted them in a small plot of
ground behind his house, and
when the man’s children went
out to play, he cautioned them
not to play close to the flowers,
for they might be damaged. But
the flowers remained hearty and
strong so long as there was
enough sun and moisture to
nourish them.
Nowhere else could the man
and his family find such remark-
able solace, comfort, and spiritu-
al nourishment as those remark-
able flowers provided. As the
family grew and more children
came to play at his home, the
man became more concerned
about his flowers. To protect
them, he built a high wall around
them, and in time he would only
sparingly allow family members
and others entrance to smell the
flowers and then only with many
a
precautions.
As time passed, this began to
cause unhappiness within the
family. = When the children
would cause their father
anguish, he would refuse them
access to the garden and all its
lovely blossoms. Eventually, he
set up rules concerning who
could enter and how they had to
enter, and what they could do
while they were there. For his
own part, however, he continued
to see that the flowers received
enough water and sunlight to
perform their wonderful magic.
As grandchildren began to
appear, the man felt even greater
need to protect his treasure.
Now access to the garden
became even more restricted and
numerous requirements had to
be met in order to receive a
glimpse of the flowers. Offices
were established to judge the
worthiness of those who wanted
to visit, and it became necessary
January 25, 2007
SRR
oY
3
¥
y
to have lawyers to defend,
judges to weigh, guards to pro:
tect, and caretakers to upkeep.
The man’s family, however, saw
less and less of the flowers and
experienced less and less of their
magical powers. Meanwhile,
many of them went off by them-
selves to find and plant their
own magical gardens.
All of us are blessed with cer-
tain gifts and treasures in this
life, but God’s blessings are
never meant to be hoarded or
held to ourselves. Indeed, God
has given us our spiritual gifts so
that we might give them away,
for in giving them away God's
blessings are extended to Hose
around us.
Jeff Hensley is pastor of
Kings Mountain Baptist
Church. His column appears
each week in The Herald.
Just another day in s
The Hollywood celebrities are
at it again.
The other night, they gathered
in one of their endless awards
shows to tell the public how
wonderful they were, and before
the night had ended their lack of
tact and man-
ners took
over.
This one
was called the
Golden Globe
Awards. I
couldn't
watch more
than a few
minutes of it
because = I
Jim Heffner
Guest Column
patience, but
that was
enough to make me gag.
Tom Hanks was on screen
when I tuned in, and he was
heaping accolades onto Warren
Beatty, an aging womanizer. It
wasn’t long before Hank's
speech devolved into little more
than gutter tripe.
He led off the parade of people
who insisted on talking about
male body parts, which I won't
get into here. Hanks is a foul-
mouthed man who appears to be
getting fat. Before long, he'll be
as big as Fat Boy Redford.
After Hanks got offstage, a
character named Sacha Baron
Cohen continued the filth by
describing his co-star’s most pri-
vate attributes. The co-star is also
male. This guy starred in Borat,
whatever that is. All I know is
that several people are suing him
over that so-called movie.
Leading up to curtain time,
they always have a reporter or
two outside on the red carpet.
This night was no exception. All
the Hollywood glamour girls
came through wearing $50,000
borrowed dresses and sporting
gobs of jewelry, either fake or on
loan from some Beverly Hills
jewelry store. Don’t any of these
women have anything of their
own?
I wonder when these scantily
clad women will understand
don’t have the
that men prefer the less is more
approach. We'd like to use our
imaginations at least a little.
I don’t know if Britney Spears
was there or not, but you can bet
that if she was, she wasn't wear-
ing much, if anything.
At least I didn’t hear any anti-
American speeches while I was
watching, even though George
Clooney was there.
Clooney doesn’t like the idea
of a war in Iraq, and makes it his
business to knock his country
and the Bush administration
every chance he gets. He does,
however, want the country to go
to war in Darfur, In other words,
George wants to decide where
we fight. If it is wrong to go to
war in one country why is it
right to fight in another?
I can’t believe these people, but
more than that, I can’t believe the
people who idolize them.
I read in the paper, that this
awards show garnered high rat-
ings, and I know that some of the
movies the celebrities were in
have been highly successful. I
guess I'm getting a little too old
to understand.
The other night, I read that
child star Dakota Fanning had
just finished a movie in which
she was raped. This young girl is
all of 12 years old at the most.
She not only appears in the rape
scene, but is seen in several more
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shots with very little clothing on.
Her mother was on the set when
the filming was done, and she
was all for it, telling people it
might win the tyke an academy
award.
Oh well, that’s different. It’s all
right to despoil your child if
ow biz
there’s an award at stake.
The movie is being filmed in
North Carolina, and I'd like to
know where the local police are.
Oh well, life goes on I guess.
Just another day in the world of
show business.
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