Nr pam A STE A TANI SO se
Page 4
The Kings Mountain Herald
OPINION
Tell us how
you like the
new Herald
Good morning.
Today, you hold in your hand
the new Kings Mountain
Herald.
After publishing a broad sheet
newspaper for 119 years, we
have decided to go to a more
reader-friendly, tabloid publica-
tion.
The deci-
sion came
after much
discussion by
company
officials with
input from
people in the
community.
We will be
reviving
some of the
features
we've had in
the past that
Gary Stewart
Editor
Eo
people tell us
they have missed, but we are
also open to more suggestions.
We want you read the paper
from cover to cover and give us
your comments and suggestions
for improvement.
As always, we will continue to
solicit your news because we
feel The Kings Mountain Herald
is the only paper in the world
solely devoted to the people of
the Kings Mountain area.
We urge you to provide us
with news and pictures of your
family, church, neighbors, club
and community events; and we
appreciate it when you pass
along news tips.
Feel free to call us anytime at
704-739-7496. You may also fax
704-739-0611 or email gstew-
art@kingsmountainherald.com.
Our office is located at 824-1
East King Street across from the
Patrick Senior Center. Drop by
and say hello!
HERALD DEADLINES
The Herald welcomes your
news for publication in each
Thursday's paper. We ask that
you observe the following dead-
lines:
Deadline for lifestyles, school,
church, club and community
news is 12 noon Monday.
Deadline for regular news
Mary Nantz contributed this photo of a train barreling its way through Kings Mountain in the early 1900s. She found it in a book of post
cards that was owned by her mother. The photo of the northbound train was taken from the overhead bridge.
Now fat ie are Ee dion]
Don’t get too close to fat peo-
ple. Scientists are now saying fat
is contagious, or something like
that. They're also saying that
sugar-free soft
drinks are as
fattening as
soft drinks
containing
sugar. Now,
what kind of
sense does
that make?
Those are
. probably
Jim Heffner some of the
Guest Column Same scien-
a tists who
believe there
is a hole in the ozone layer over
Cramerton, and that all the polar
bears are going to die because of
global warming.
According to the New England
Journal of Medicine, fat can
spread like wildfire. I wonder if
skinny spreads with the same
rapidity. It just goes to show that
some people don’t have much to
do. They sit around thinking:
“What can I come up with
today? I know, I'll tell everybody
fat can be spread by personal
contact. The news media will
jump on it and all the medical
journals will print stories. Maybe
I'll even win a prize.”
If all this is true, then fat could
become an effective weapon. If
you have an enemy, for example,
and you want to get rid of him,
just put on a few pounds and rub
up against him. Chances are he'll
come down with a serious case
of fat, and if he has any kind of
heart problems at all, he'll be a
goner before long.
The answer to the fat that is
running rampant in this country
is a vaccine. Take the vaccine and
you can get close to anybody car-
rying a few extra pounds. Don’t
take the shot and you have a
good chance of coming down
with extra hip padding and a pot
belly.
I can hear it now. “Did you
hear what happened to poor old
Jake?”
“No, what happened?”
“He went to a weight control
convention, and didn’t take the
shot beforehand. Now he’s laid
up with a bad case of obesity. We
don’t know if he’s going to make
iw
I am firmly convinced all this
started because a rather heavy
woman in New York City got
tired of being insulted on the
subway.
Not only would people pass
up seats beside her, but they
vocally insulted her in some
cases.
Kimberly Brittingham got tired
of people remarking that she
smelled bad or sweated too
much. She overheard one
woman tell her children she’d
rather stand for 40 blocks than sit
beside a fat woman.
Brittingham, using her com-
puter, created a fake book cover
and pasted it onto a new biogra-
phy, which she read when she
was riding the subway. The
cover carried the title: Fat is
Contagious, and subtitled: How
sitting next to a fat person can
make you fat.
Her idea was to make people
think about why they refused to
sit beside her, which was, of
course, nothing but raw preju-
dice.
I don’t know if it worked or
not, but I think that’s how all
this fat is contagious malarkey
got started.
This whole idea of overweight
people is getting out of hand.
pn
You'd think to gain weight is to |
commit an unforgivable sin.
Nobody enjoys being fat, but
RI
everybody can’t wear a size 4 §
either.
That's just the way it is.
Those who go around insult-
ing overweight people are igno-
rant morons.
More than that, they're fat
heads.
The New England Journal of
Medicine was once a prestigious &
but the Fat is
periodical,
Contagious thing, along with the
cat they say can predict some- * ¢
one’s death is a bit much.
= [ts Ig
time at El Bethel
Saturday, Aus. 4
6:30 - 10 am
El Bethel United Methodist Chur
El Bethel Rd., Kings Mountain
A
dis