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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
‘They set the standard for the rest of us’
Mt. Zion honors
senior members
By Elizabeth Stewart
“They set the standard for the
rest of us,” said Dr. Clinton Feem-
ster of the 13 senior members of
Mount Zion Missionary Baptist
Church who have marked a mile-
stone in life and service and hon-
ored recently at the church’s Golden
Jubilee birthday celebration.
All 80 years and older, the hon-
ored group of 12 women and one
male, received “crowns” and acco-
lades by speakers and friends and
enjoyed fellowship and food in a
crowd of more than 250 in the
church’s Family Life Center Nov. 1.
Senior Deacon Otis Cole, 84, his
wife, Margie, 84, and Senior Pastor
Feemster, who presided at the
event, reminisced this week about
the celebration and about some of
the many changes of historical sig-
nificance that have occurred during
the the life time of those honored -
their years totaling a whopping
1,040 if you tally each at only 80
years.
Honored and presented crowns
for special recognition were Hazel
Brown, Isabelle Brown, Eva Burris,
Eloise Jackson, Lucille McSwain,
Sarah Morgan, Pearl Pressley,
Martha Taylor, Catherine Wade,
Virginia Wiggins Symantha
Williams and Otis and Margie Cole.
The late Mae Sue Orr and the late
Annie Lee Mitchem died prior to
the celebration and their long serv-
ice to the church and community
was recognized. Mayor Rick Mur-
phrey presented a proclamation
from the City of Kings Mountain
and congratulatory remarks were
also made by city councilman Rev.
Howard Shipp and Monty Thorn-
burg, Director of the Patrick Senior
Center.
Rev. M. Lamont Littlejohn, pas-
The Kings Mountain Herald
tor of Calvary Baptist Church of
Shelby and guest speaker for the
event, talked also about change in
Kings Mountain where he grew up,
attended Mount Zion Baptist
Church and began his ministry with
Feemster.
Senior Deacon Cole’s inspira-
tional testimony of the importance
of faith and how his faith had sus-
tained him during very difficult
times culminated what the pastor
called “ a tremendous event.”
The Coles, who have been mar-
ried 62 years, raised 10 children and
their family includes 13 grandchil-
dren, 30 great-grandchildren and
one great-great grandchild. Their
home on Mitchell Street is the per-
fect spot for family get-to-
gethers.
“I was raised right here on
Cansler Street,” said Margie Cole,
lifelong member of Mount Zion
Church. She spoke with pride about
the building of the new church in
the early 1970s and its growth
under the 22 year leadership of
Feemster. As a small child Mrs.
Cole said she went to church with
her Grandpa who was a deacon in
the church. Family and church are
priorities for the Coles, they said
this week as they reflected on a
busy life together and a busy life in
God’s House.
Leon Taylor and Guynetha War-
ren made presentations to the hon-
orees . Also participating were
Geraldine Dye, Katherine Pender-
grass, and Margaret Smith. Dr.
William L. Sims read scripture and
prayer was offered by Rev. Ray-
mond Gardin Jr. The Mount Zion
Adult Choir presented special
music and Bobby Burson played a
musical prelude at the 3 p.m. open-
ing of the celebration.
The history committee, which
began working on the program for
the event months ago, includes
Leon Taylor, Geraldine Dye,
Guynetha Warren, Pearl Pressly and
Margaret Smith.
Parenting author gives tips at church
By Emily Weaver
Popular parenting author
John Rosemond gave an in-
formal lecture on the dilem-
mas of child rearing in
America today along with
tips to fix the problems re-
cently at Central United
Methodist Church.
Several parents, some
with pads and pens at the
ready, were in attendance of
the program provided by
Friends of the Mauney Me-
morial Library.
“I have a job because
parenting in America has
become very stressful. ..es-
pecially for women,” he
said. Most of the women he
has asked have agreed that
it is easier to run a moder-
ately sized corporation than
to be a mother today.
“You cannot raise chil-
dren in two entirely differ-
ent ways and arrive at the
same outcome,” he said,
adding that the ways of par-
enting have changed since
the 50s and 60s, when he
grew up.
Rosemond said that
when he went to first grade
there were 50 students in his
class led by one teacher
who had no discipline prob-
lems. Today, he said, there
is one teacher and one
teacher assistant to handle
half as many kids and they
struggle with their students.
He traced the reason for
these issues back to parent-
ing. “Fear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom,” he
said, adding that fear of
women should be the same
for children.
His mother never yelled
at him or spanked him, and
yet, he said, she still held
his attention. “I was intimi-
dated by my mother’s pres-
ence. Moms today are
intimidated by their chil-
dren,” he said. ‘
The emancipation age of
children, Rosemond said,
has increased to 27 because
kids are becoming accus-
tomed to the good life. They
are used to having every-
thing provided for them and
when they grow up, he.
added, they tend to look to
the government to provide
them with the entitlements
they received at home.
He said that one of the
big problems experienced
with today’s youth is that
many of them will not pay
attention to women and be-
cause they are not paying
attention, parents often re-
vert to screaming and other
dramatic measures. “Chil-
dren have not changed,
what’s changed is the point
of view we bring to child
rearing,” he added.
Kids come to either one
of two conclusions. Conclu-
sion one, he said, is the
child will realize that he’s
the child and that he is sup-
posed to pay attention to his
mother. Conclusion two, he
said, is the child will realize
that it is the mother’s job to
pay attention to and cater to
him, therefore affecting the
rest of his relationships in
life. When a child comes to
the second conclusion,
Rosemond said, that’s when
“attention deficit” kicks in.
He argued that A.D.D. is
not a chemical imbalance, a
blood flow problem, or
even genetic, those are just
excuses. “It’s your respon-
sibility to get your children
to pay attention to you...ex-
© cept no excuses,” he said.
“Today’s children have
learned, through no fault of
theirs and through no fault
of their parents, that parents
are supposed to pay atten-
tion to kids.”
Richness in life is mak-
ing your own way in life, he
said. “Today’s kids are
being denied the richness of
their childhood.”
He found an old photo
that showed him, as a three-
year-old kid, washing the
floors. It is important for
children to have chores,
Rosemond said. But “it’s
not just doing chores, it’s
putting a child in a respon-
sible roll in the family.”
The old parenting style
of chores, discipline, setting
boundaries, defining au-
thority figures and teaching
manners worked, he said.
“We tried to fix something
that wasn’t broken.”
Instead of being a parent,
a lot of today’s moms want
to be friends with their chil-
dren. But, Rosemond said,
that type of child rearing is
“faulted from the get-go.”
Children, who grow up
expecting to be handed
more or treated more favor-
ably, will “hurt the Ameri-
can economy,” he added.
Rosemond said that he
spoke with a textile mill that
was moving overseas and
the owner said the reason
they are doing so is that be-
cause kids are coming out
of college today, wanting to
see what employers can
offer them instead of the
other way around. But in
China, the mill owner can
hire workers for half the pay
and twice the work ethic,
which led to Rosemond’s
next point on self-esteem.
“Those who exalt them-
selves shall be humbled and
the humbled will be ex-
alted,” he said, quoting
scripture. “The opposite of
self esteem is humility and
modesty...Research has
shown that people who
have high self esteem tend
to have low regard for oth-
ers.”
Children need to be
trained proper values and
manners to make America a
better place and the training
begins at home, according
to Rosemond.
“Today it’s all about get-
ting that bumper sticker,” he
quipped, about being a
proud parent of an honor
roll student. But he asked
women if they would ever
“sport a bumper sticker that
Christmas music Dec. 1
“Lookin’ Up” will pres-
ent a special program of
Christmas music, including
“Cool Shades of Christ-
mas,” and non-seasonal fa-
vorites at Boyce Memorial
ARP Church Monday, Dec.
1, at 7 p.m. in the church
fellowship hall. The group
is comprised of Bill Bush
on drums; April Herndon,
flute; Evan Sealey, bass gui-
tar; and Terry Williams,
piano.
The public is invited and
no admission is charged but
those attending are encour-
aged to take canned food
items to be given to the
Kings Mountain Crisis
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Ministry to stock their
shelves during the Christ-
mas season.
“Lookin Up” will also
perform at ARP Manor in
Gastonia on Thursday, Dec.
4, at 7 p.m. and present se-
lections from this program
during the Habitat for Hu-
manity program at Boyce
Memorial ARP Church
Dec. 6.
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“Lookin Up” was
formed out of an idea to en-
courage music appreciation
to foster fellowship within
the King Mountain commu-
nity and support area min-
istries. Families have an
opportunity to exit the ac-
celeration of activities,
enjoy music and show sup-
port of the less fortunate t
his holiday season.
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touted their husbands’ ac-
complishments, like “My
husband earns six figures;
does yours?”
Rosemond used several
humorous stories to illus-
trate his points. After about
an hour of defining the
problems faced in parenting
today, he listed a few solu-
tions.
He said there are specific
growth seasons that should
be kept in mind when par-
enting. The first season usu-
ally lasts from birth to age
two and parents should be
servants during this time, he
said, paying a lot of atten-
tion to their babies. But, he
urged, somewhere between
the second and third birth-
day the mother should step
forward and claim authority
over the child. The “Season
of Discipling” lasts from 3-
13 and during this time
mothers should take on a
leadership role, telling their
children what to do, not
begging them to do some-
thing. The last season, for
ages 13 and up, is the “Sea-
son of Mentoring,” which,
he said, completes the
child’s readiness for eman-
cipation.
Rosemond urged parents
to remember three things:
-Stop doing things for
your child; teach them once
and let them do it
-Build a boundary be-
tween yourself and your
child; limit your child’s ac-
cess to you. He said that no
boundaries leads to no re-
spect.
-Be sure to make time
with your parenting aid and
let the child see that you
have a relationship with
your mate and not just with
them. He said that a strong
relationship between
mother and father sets the
foundation in a child’s life.
Page 3A
Obituaries
Continued from Page A2
his family from Min-
neapolis, MN, to Kings
Mountain, NC in 1959,
working for the Lithium
Corporation in Bessemer
City. He remained there
until 1975 when he and
Wilma moved to Missouri.
Ken retired in 1985 and he
returned to Perham, MN.
His philosophies of
‘never meeting a stranger’
and ‘seeing the best in
everyone’ he met were ones
he carried with him wher-
ever he went and made him
many lifelong friends.
These gifts allowed him to
succeed where others failed.
Although Ken had the
opportunity for only a lim-
ited education, as far as
many were concerned he
had a Doctorate of Philoso-
phy in Life. One of Ken’s
goals was to never stop
learning. With that philoso-
phy, coupled with a keen
curiosity, he accomplished a
great deal during his 86
years and he enjoyed his
life.
After retirement, Ken
spent many happy hours
fishing on Big Pine and
Wolf Lake with family and
close friends, as well as
consulting with former
work colleagues in order to
stay in touch with friends
and do the work he loved.
Ken relished the travel-
ing that he was privileged to
do; from Japan to China to
Costa Rica. But he espe-
cially enjoyed the traveling
that he did with his beloved
wife, Wilma, throughout the
United States; from the bay-
ous of Louisiana and the
shores of Galveston, TX, to
the hills of Missouri and the
coastline and desert of Cal-
ifornia.
Ken and Wilma were life
partners who shared a love
of travel by spending many
happy hours on the road
visiting friends and family
as well as traveling to Hon-
olulu, HI, to celebrate their
50th wedding anniversary.
Ken is survived by his
wife of 63 years, Wilma;
son, Kenneth (Karen)
Bunkowski, Jr., Salt Lake
City, UT; and daughter,
Diana Valentine, Minneapo-
lis, MN; four grandchildren,
Lisa (David) Caudill, Seat-
tle, WA; Karen Grizzell,
Cincinnati, OH; Matthew.
Bunkowski, Mauritius; and
Emma Katherine Valentine,
Minneapolis, MN; two
great grandchildren and two
great great grandchildren.
Preceding Ken in death
are his parents, William and
Emma Katherine and
brother, Ferdinand.
In lieu of flowers, me-
morials are preferred to St.
Paul’s Lutheran Church and
School in Perham, MN.
Schoeneberger Funeral
Home, Perham, MN, is in
charge of the arrangements.
(218) 346-5175. Online
tributes may be posted on-
line at http://www.schoe-
negergerfuneralhome.com.
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