bi SH]
Ron Isbell
; ‘Music
Publisher ; {i
Mowe over, David Allen
Coe. We're writing the
perfect country song
David Allen Coe, step aside. If anybody is going to
write “the perfect country western song” it’s gonna be me.
I’ve already penned the lyrics for a couple: “I’m Tired
of Bangin’ My Head Against the Writing on the Wall” and
“I Carry My Family Portrait on My Driver’s License”.
The first because I like mixing metaphors almost as
much as I like puns.
- The second came from an old motorcycle riding and
camping friend. He had been divorced for more years than
he had been married but was still in love with his ex, and
he rarely saw his daughter. He felt like his drivers license
photo was his family portrait. In his last months as he
dealt with cancer he found out how wrong he was. His
daughter cared for him and hundreds of friends cared
about him.
Still, it’s a great country song, don’t t ya think?
I’m working on another one now for all you smokers
out there that are having a hard time finding a place to
light up. It goes like this...
Tobacco’s become a mortal sin.
Now it’s against the law.
Soft pack or hard. carton or tin.
Ora wad tucked in your jaw.
They’ve taken all our rights, away.
They search us in places ain ’t meant to be seen.
We have to protect the other guy.
But who’s looking out for me:
* Joe Camel ain’t Kool no miore
Winston’s name ain’t on the Cup
Nobody’s callin’ for Phillip Morris
Nobody's lightin’ up.
Then I’ve got a few more that I can’t keep from rattlin’
around in my brain..
»
She’s hot. I’m not. Think I’ve got a chance?
. More beer. No fear. Gonna ask her to dance.
Or how about...
Martinis and Manhattans
Wine from the right year.
Or Jack and Coke,
Pretzels and beer.
Or maybe this one...
It’s against the law to eat anything fat.
Burger gets you 5 to 10. Want fries with that?
Coming up soon The Herald is going to have a contest
to write “the perfect country western song,” Unlike David
Allen Coe’s version it won’t necessarily have to be about
momma and trains and getting drunk. It could be about
daffodils and frilly doilies and a cup of herbal tea.
No it couldn’t! I'm yankin’ your chain. Not even Tom
T. Hall could write a song about frilly things and tea and
call it a country song. And he’s good.
But it could be about our heroes, whoever they may
be, or about love, or love lost, or about spin the bottle or
a nickel Coke or penny candy. It could be a waltz or a
two-step or a beat so off-the-wall the cast of Dancing With
The Stars couldn’t find it even if they had directions and
a Garmin.
And we’re going to want all of you to help us write it.
Who knows; we may write the song that will convince
Garth Brooks to come out of retirement. And you won’t
be able to play (and win) if you aren’t reading The Her-
ald.
But you can put it down long enough to drop another
quarter in the jukebox.
The Kings Mountain Herald
Bethware Fair starts Tuesday
By EMILY WEAVER
Editor
For 63 years now Beth-
ware Progressive Club
members have shown that
they can throw a great party.
.. and they’re about to do it
again,
The 63rd annual Beth-
ware Fair will liven up the
otherwise quiet summertime
school grounds (Bethware
School) August 3-7 with the
sights, sounds afid smells
that have become so famil-
iar on the campus this time
of year.
Miss Bethware Fair
Queen Jada Roberts
But the sights, sounds.
and smells will be amplified
with more rides, more enter-
tainment and more vendors
* this year, according to Jason
Falls, publicity chairman of
the 2010 fair.
At least 20 rides, pro-
vided by Smokey Mountain
Amusements, will line the
midway. Live music and en-
tertainment will fill the air
each night.
The inviting smells of
cotton candy and candied
apples will drift from con-
cession stands and hot dogs,
hamburgers, fries and Beth-
ware Progressive’s famous
- ham biscuits will be sold at
the club house.
On Friday night, the
Class of 1961 - the last class
to graduate from Bethware
School (before it became an
elementary academy) - will
be holding its reunion on the
fairgrounds.
Canned fruits, jams and
jellies, farm displays, crops,
meats and pickled beets,
juices, bread, cookies and
cakes, clothing, needle-
work, ceramics, crafts,
flowers, and antiques will
all be featured in the exhibit
hall.
And somewhere, walk-
ing about in a crown and a
sash will be the Miss Beth-
ware Fair Queen, nine-year-
old Jada Roberts.
Born Jada Renee Roberts
on Sept. 21, 2000 to Sarah
and John Roberts in Salem,
- Ohio, she moved to Kings
Mountain with her family
when she was two years old.
She started kindergarten at
Bethware Elementary and
just finished up fourth grade
at the school. Her favorite
teacher 'at Bethware is
“every teacher she’s ever
known”.
In addition to being
voted Bethware Fair Queen, «
Jada also received awards
this year for perfect atten-
dance, the A Honor Roll and
accelerated reading. She
will start fifth grade at
Kings Mountain Intermedi-
ate next month.
. Entries in the various de-
partments for the exhibit
hall will be accepted 9 a.m.-
8 p.m. on Aug. 2, and 9
a.m.-6 p.m. on Aug. 3. All
entries will be judged
Wednesday, Aug. 4. The
displays will be released
Saturday, Aug. 7, at 7 p.m:
* The manager for’ this
year’s fair is Chuck Dover.
This year’s board of direc-
tors of the Bethware Pro-
gressive Club are Mitchell
McKinney, president; Jason
Falls, 1st vice president;
Chuck Dover,
president; Mark Wyte, sec-
retary; and, Craig Mayes,
treasurer.
Falls said that in 63
years, the Bethware Pro-
gressive Club has yet to
miss a fair. The club started
it on the school grounds, off
of David Baptist Church
Rd., in the late 1940s.
“We’ve had the same
mission since we started to
support the community and
the school,” he added. Pro-
ceeds, raised from the fair,
benefit Bethware school and
a deserving Kings Mountain
2nd ‘vice
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Riding the mini-cars is fun at Bethware Fair.
High School senior, who re-
ceives a scholarship from
the club each year.
Falls said that the club
meets every month to plan
the fair.
“We go to conventions
and seminars to get pre-
pared,” he added, and to
learn new ideas, new rides
or new performers the club
can. incorporate in the fu-
ture. “We try to use as many
local people as we can.”
The club contracts with
Kids of all ages enjoy the merry-go-round at the Beth-
ware Fair.
Cabin
Utility Shed
Smokey Mountain Amuse-
ments, out of Robbinsville,
NC, for the midway rides.
Bethware Fair is consid-
ered the “oldest community
agricultural fair in the
state,” Falls said.
Last year, attendance ex-
ceeded 12,000 people.
“We’re hoping this year to
have around 15,000 visi-
tors,” he added.
Animal exhibits will be
provided this year by Josh
Bridges. Antique tractors,
hit-and-miss engines and
new tractors will also be on
display. The support from
volunteers, sponsors and the
city, which Falls says helps
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them spread the word, “en-
able us to put-the fair on
every year.” ;
Last year,
the club
mourned the loss of one of
its charter members - Floyd
Lamar Herndon - and long-
time member, Jonas
Bridges, remembered as
“the Voice of Kings -Moun-
tain”. This year’s fair book
is dedicated in their mem-
ory.
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