Pag* 2-KmGS MOUNTAIN HERALD-TuMday, luiw II. IMl
Dr. Campbell Speaks On Finding Happiness
This is the last of four articles in a series of inter
views with Dr. Dan Campbell, school psycholgist
and mental health therapist. Today, Dr. Campbell
speaks on *Tinding Happiness.”
FRANKS: Dan, we have spoken about
autonomy, accountability, and the overall evils of
television. Maybe we can finish up our time
together by tying them all together. Can you sum
marize what we have said through these past
weeks?
CAMPBELL: The idea that jumps to my mind, in
summation, is a question 1 asked to one of my
Looking Up
By Tom Franks
groups of leaders in the junior high last year: Is help
ing better than hurting? Now, that seemed like a
simple question, and nearly everyone said, "yes, of
course”. However, then I asked another question:
Always? And the discussion flew. One young man
said, “Sometimes, 1 hurt my dog by spanking him
with a newspaper, but only to teach him not to do
things that mi^t hurt him, like rutming out into
Once we realize that we are children of God, and
because of that we deserve wonderful things, we
must look that the things we do for ourselves. We
must learn to believe that we are capable of improv
ing ourselves. We can be proud of who we are, and
be proud of living up to our potential, no matter
what we do or have.
traffic.” And the ideal that many parents punish
their children because they really want to help came
out. With the idea that a mild spanking can actually
be helping over the long tun, we all agreed that
helping is always better than hurting.
Some of the things we do, help us in the long run,
even if they hurt us in the short run. You can ask
any dieter about this.
FRANKS: How do we know whether the things we
do today will help or hurt us in the long run?
CAMPBELL: That can only come through think
ing about where we personally want (not wish,
remember) to be in our long run. For example, a
dieter who weighs 160 pounds and wants to weigh
140 can then feel proud when he denies himself of a
hot fudge sundae, because then he knows he is help
ing himself instead of hurting. And thu is where
happiness enters into the picture.
FRANKS: How?
CAMPBELL: One day this year, I taught a class
of seniors. I asked them about their future goals,
and nearly all of them said they wanted to be hap
py. But you then come to the question, “How do 1
become happyr And my reply, Ijy doing things
that make sense when compared to your personal
long-range goals, happiness will find you.”
Another way to look at this is that by helping'
other people grow, you will soon realzie that you
are growing too. And this is exciting and possible.
Anyone who wants to, can be happy. Do you?
FRANKS: We are grateful to Dr. Campbell for
his wisdom and time for 1 feel this has been an ex
perience. 1 would like to share with you a quote
from Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s book, “Thoughts To Live
By” when he says, liere is a thought to live by: Be
a^amed to die until you have won some goals for
yourself and for others.” Have a great week!
DR. DAN CAMPBELL
If that is true, does that mean that helping
ourselves is better than hurting ourselves? Always?
(This can be a very tricky question to cigarette
smokers.)
For Every Thing A Season
GhRV
rrcwhRT
“For everything there is a season,” said the
moody author of Eccelesiastes, going on to specify
among other things “a time to pluck up that which
is planted.”
No gardener, whether amateur or professional,
can quibble with that.
But, on a summertime June day when the
temperatures are soaring most gardeners can ask
why, at this particular time, do the seasons con-
spiciously overlap. This is the time to plant and tend
a garden but it is also the time to pluck up the weeds
which plan themselves. This is also the time to cut
the grass which is growing like mad on the lawn , in
the orchard, beside the path and in the lesser tended
parts of the garden itself. This is the time to trim the
hedges, which were so neat two weeks ago, and the
time to hoe and spray and dust.
Lib
Stewart
Of Good Father
1937 to sell more dairy products. It has siiKe
become "June Dairy Month,” a national celebration
to remind consumers of the importance of dairy
foods in the family diet.
Why has grass grown two inches overnight just
now when it has all summer ahead. Certainly, there
is an answer, simple and logical and based on the
solid facts of botany. But, why does that not apply
to beans, say, and corn. Besides, gardeners are not
really seeking logical answers but playing for more
time to get all the jobs done.
This year’s June Dairy Month theme is "The
Magic of Milk.” Qeveland County dairymen are
joining in a national observance of June Dairy
Month during the next few weeks
Overall, dairy production ranks fifth as an
agricultural enterprise in North Carolina based on
the sale of milk, providing a farm income almost
$200 million.
How true that for everything there is a season.
And this seems to be it, the season for everything at
once.
Because grazing cows produced more milk in
June, “National Milk Month” was launched in
Milk production has come a long way since the
days cows were milked by hand and the milk was
carried to the kitchen in a wooden bucket. Today
cows are milked twice a day with sanitary milking
machines and the milk is pumped directly into
refrigerated farm trucks.
We salute our fiiends and neighbors in dairying
and applaud the “magic of milk.”
Sunday is Father’s Day, a time when all of us
should take time out to honor our fathers.
If we were to attempt to describe the perfect
father, it would be an impossible task. But here are a
few characteristics of a perfect father:
He’^ a provider. He gets out of bed early, and is
careful not to awaken the children. After eight or
more hours of hard, steady work at the idant, he
makes a pit stop at the grocery store to buy milk and
a loaf of bread for the wife, candy and other goodies
for the young ones, comes home and works in the
garden or does handyman chores around the house
until dark.
He’s a teacher and coach: While the mother
assumes , most of the mponsibility of helping the
youngsters with their' schoolwork, it’s the good
father that teaches them to ride a bicycle. The child
learns a lesson in determination when, after a fall,
the father encourages him to get back on and try it
again. The good father, even though he’s tired,
always has time to pass ball, or engage in a footrace,
fly a kite, or take part in some type of game the
child has dreamed up.
He!s a pal. The best friend a boy has is his father.
The good father is there to watch ids son play. If his
son is not a ballplayer, the father is always there to
take him to watch someone else, or to support him
in another activity. He takes him to the movies on
Saturday afternoon, or to the bowling alley, or helps
him root for his favorite team on televison.
He’s a mechanic: He’s forever being called upon
to repair damaged bicycles and toys, and as the
youngster grows into his teensjt’susu^y the father
who keeps the kid’s car in good running order.
He’s a handyman: Plumber, electrician, janitor,
painter, gardener...you name it, dad’s it.
But, more than anything else, the good father is
an example. He takes the chUd to church on Sun
day, and carries the lesson through the other six
days of the week. He speaks a clean language in
front of the child. He does not drink nor does he
allow any of his family to do it. If a beer bottle is
ever seen on the premises, it has been thrown out of
a passing car. He is honest, respects others, and is a
good neighbor. He’s always a giver, expecting
nothing in return. Even as the child becomes an
adult, he continues to benefit from his father’s ex
perience and wisdom.
A good father is one of God’s greatest blessings.
Those of us whose fathers are still with us should let
him know how much we love him Sunday, and
every other day. Those whose fathen have already
gone on to a better place should cherish their
memories and set dad’s example for their own
children.
Tm IT At My House'
BIBLE SCHOOL
Vacation Bible School us
underway through Thursday at
Second Baptist Church. The
time is from 630 until 9 o’clock
each evening. There are classes
for all ages. Commencement will
be during the evening worship
service on June 21. The public is
invited.
PUBLISHED EACH
TUESDAY
AND THURSDAY
GARLAND ATKINS
PublUhar
GARY STEWART
Co-Editor
UB STEWART
Co-Editor
MEMBER OF NORTH
CAROLINA PRESS
ASSOCIATION
Tha Harald U publishod
by Harald Publishing
Houoa. P.O. Box 752. Kings
Mountoin, N.C. 28086.
Business emd oditoriol of-
ficos ora located at Canter
bury Road-East King Street.
Phone 739-7496. Second
close postoge paid at Kings
Mountain. N.C. Single copy
20 cents. Subscription rates:
$12.48 yearly in-state. $6.24
six months. $13.52 yearly
out of state. $6.76 six mon
ths. Student rotes for nine
months. $8.50. USPS131-040.
I heard a young woman say to an old woman “wwider why so many old women live
in big old houses all by themselves. Looks like they could find something better to do
with their lives. Sure does look like they’d find a small (dace, like an apartment to live,
or better still, get others to come live with them.”
The older woman laughed and then said rather sad^ *Uoiiey, I can hardly stand to
live with myself, much less with anyone else."
1 couldn’t have said it better myself if I’d thought all day. There are many reasons
that old women live in houses bigger than they actually need. The main one is it is
Home to them. Here they are the big boss no matter how insignificant they appear
when you see them away fi-om their barracks.
Here’s where their “things” are; they feel free to do as they please and when they
please. They feel safe, to a degree. Nobody can Tget them” here. This place is their’s
and they are going to stay there just as long as th^ can possibly manage it. So please
try to understand. If you don’t now you very may well some day.
The days when living by yourself seems just dandy are those when you are feeling
go(^ and when the weather is good and there are no mgjor disasten on your premises.
Believe it or not, there are many such days.
There are also those days when everything seems to go wrong. Then you really long
for a kindred soul to share your misery with-imaginary or oth^ise. Being sick is the
worst. You can really hit a new low then-’inisery loves company.”
The first thing you have to realize, if you are forced to live by yourself whether by
choice on otherwise, is that there are probably going to have lo be some big changes
made in your life.
You can either accept your lot in life with all the good grace and courage you can
muster up and lead a rather good and happy life or you can be a sissy and whine a lot
and make yourself and others miserable.
No matter how weak, complaining, dependent, dumb, awkward, or downright lazy,
you’ve been in the past; you’d better shape up. There are literally hundreds of things
you can do yourself you might have believed impossible before you tried. I know. I sur
prise myself ever so often doing something a ten year old child could probably do bet
ter, but I feel proud of myself. Doesn’t hurt to pot yourself on the bock ever once in a
while, makes you willing, and feel able, to tackle the next thing that comes up.
Here are a few things I've found out that help old wranen living in big old houses.
First try to see that your abode is as safe as possible both inside and from outside in
vaders.
Ti7 to obey as numy health rules as posnble. Wete aU going to feel bad sometimes,
but it’s silly to count getting hurt any number of ways r^t in your own home.
Love your neighbors and try to m^ them love you. You never know when your
very life may depend on them. I have been biessed everywhere 1 have ever lived with
the very best anyone could ever hope for. There’^ no way 1 could ever tell so many of
them how much love I have in my heart for the big and little things they have done for
me.
Would you believe the man across the street from me puts my paper right outside my
d(^ on cold bad mornings. I would have to trudge out to the street to get it otherwise.
It’s things like this that make you realize how good and thoughtful most people are if \
we just realize it. ^
ESTELL
Television can be one of your best friends. I just don’t see how lonely people got
along without it. You can turn on a button and have fnends to amuse you, inform you
and generally keep you in touch.
I-don’t care how many people laugh and tease me for watching soap t^ras. I can
think of a lot worse things I could be doing - like pestering them for instance.
We need contact with real live people as much as we can. We need to maifo
ourselves, if need be, get up, get dressed, and get out.
There are people out there to share our thoughts and feelings with and we all need '
and crave love. We have to give love to get love. Our families and our churches are our
best contacts.
Memories can be great or they can tear you apart. We can’t help but remember so
many tiiries, so many places — mostly so many people.
If we can ifi best we get out and have new times and places and people to help form
new memories.
It all sums up to what sounds craiceited. Learn to YouraeU. If youVe It at
your house make friends with yourself and have as much ftin as you can while you
can.
I feel good todayl I learned a long time ago I couldn’t, and wouldn't want to if I
could, do or be all the things I might like or other people would like for me to be and
do.
1 also learned I couldn’t afford to indulge in the pleasure of feeling sorry for myself
anymore than was absolutely necessary. It’S an indulgence no one can afford. I almost
let it do me m at one low level in my Ufe. I hope 1 never let that happen again.
Have a good day — I am, I hope.
>•
D %
D •
• •
i •
y .Q\
f •