Pag* 8B-UNGS MOUHTAIN HERALD-TuMday. DM«inb«r 22. 1981
Be Honest In Talking About Santa Claus
In today’s contemporary
world, how should parents res
pond when their children ask
them that perennial Christmas
question: “Is there a Santa
Claus?”
Before the youngsters reach
the age of popping that question,
should parents bctelling them
that they have to be good if they
want Santa to bring them
presents?
Fresh opinions on both ques
tions were sought recently in an
interview with Dr. Richard N.
Roberts, a clinical psychologist
at the University of North
Carolina at Greensboro who has
an active private practice in
family counseling.
As far as the truth about San
ta Claus is concerned, there is
certainly no need to panic, said
Roberts. In answering the ques
tion, he believes that parents
need to be forthright and honest
in telling their child^n .jaboui.
Santa.
UNC-G’s Department of
Psychology. “It can be harmful
if you tell a child Santa is wat
ching him, and if he isn’t good,
there will be no presents under
the tree.”
Such an external control
measure, which Roberts calls an
inappropriate use of the jolly old
elf, can be harmful in two ways.
“Children will learn eventual
ly that there’s nothing to the
warning, especially when they
wake up on Christmas Day and
find full stockings and plenty of
presents,” said Roberts. “When
this happens, the parents’
credibility is decreased.
"Children also need to be
given a more specific reason for
behavior than the possibility of
an empty stocking. Children
should behave because the
parents ask them to do so, not
because they think Santa Claus
is an authority figure who’s
keeping tabs on them during the
year. If this keeps cropping up,
there may be some problems in
“In breaking the! tnith toi
children, 1 think the best thing f
for a parent to do is go ahead i
and ask the child if there are]
some questions he has about'
Santa Claus,” said Dr. Roberts.
“If parents can read their
children’s feelings pretty well, ^
i/nr.,L. vvhen the time is ^
they’ll know when the time isjt
right. 1 wouldn’t blurt it out, ^
though. V
“A lot of children have doubts
about things but they’re afraid to '
ask their parents, if kids have i
doubts, but find they can discuss j
thingS'Openly and get the right
information, then there’s pro- ]
bably some relief all around.”
One thing that parents should (
avoid at the holiday season,
Robert said, is using Santa Claus
as a threat or reward in order to
make children behave. It’s a holi-)
day tradition he’d like to .see I
stamped out.
‘Trequently parents use Santa j
claus in a negative way, as a way
of controlling behavior,” said'
Roberts, an assistant professor in i
Carols Tell
Beauty
Of Christmas
What could sound sweeter
than a chorus of voices singing
hymns in perfect harmony? That
same chorus of voices singing
Christmas carols from a church
choir or a snow-covered street
comer.
The heavenly strains of carols
awaken ears to the simple
beauty of the Christmas celebra
tion and, in no time at all. invite
all within earshot to join in and
sing.
The word, carol, derives
from the Greek and Latin words
for ■ 'chorus.” It was used in the
middle ages to describe a ring
dance or song, which was gen
erally sung among a group of
persons, either seated or stand
ing in a circle. At some later
time in history, the word be
came synonomous with Christ
mas and songs of wonder
Different from h) mns
The Christmas carol—quite
different from the traditional
church hymn, which was al
ways sung in Latin—originated
as the song of the Nativity, sung
in the vernacular and under
stood by all.
While many of the present-
day Christmas customs origin
ated with ancient cpitures'
forms of worship, it was not
until the second half of the 19th
century that Christmas carols
met with general acceptance in
both Europe and North Ameri
ca.
When, in 1868, Bishop Phil
lip Brooks was rector of the
Church of the Holy Trinity m
Philadelphia, he was asked by
his Sunday school pupils to
compose a Christmas hymn It
has since become the earliest
popular carol composed by an
American:
O lillle town of Bethlehem.
How still we see thee lie.'
Above thy deep and
dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by;
Yet in thy dark sky shineth
The everlasting light:
The hopes and fears of all the
years
Are met in thee tonight.
For Christ is horn of Mary:
And. gathered all above.
While mortals sleep, the
angels keep
Their wateh of wond'ring
love.
O morning stars, together
Proclaim the holy birth.’
And praises sing to God. the
King,
And peace to men on earth
child management.”
Most children begin asking
questions about Santa Claus
around the age of three or four
years, said Roberts. The serious
doubts usually emerge a few
years later as children hear skep
tical remarks from their
playmates.
Many child psychologists feel
there’s no harm in having
children discover that Kris Kr-
ingle is really a mythical old
many, Roberts pointed out. But
there can be some pitfalls
associated with revealing Santa’s
true identify.
“Learning about Santa Claus
is kind of a step in the growing
up process, sort of a way that
kids discover the difference in
the way the world is and the way
we would like it to be,” said
Roberts. ‘There are some pro
blems that may manifest
themselves in the short run,
however.
“One of the issues is that the
child might think his parents
have tricked him and he might
be ashamed about it,” noted
Roberts. “Parents need to let the
child know that they understand
his feelings and sympathize. The
child needs to understand that
the Santa Claus legend was not
intended as a trick, but as
something very nice.”
Another problem that can
crop up, Roberts said, is that the
child’s newly found knowledge
might create a little skepticism,
possibly on such important mat
ters as the existence of God.
“1 think it probably does
create some skepticism, where a
child asks ‘If Santa Claus isn’t
real, are there other things that
aren’t real, too?” said Roberts.
“But it’s up to the parents to help
the child distinguish those things
that are meaningful and those
things that are fantasy.”
When young children visit
Santa Claus for the first time,
Roberts cautions against
speeding the youngsters into his
lap for that traditional Christmas
photograph.
‘Tarents should - follow their
children’s cues,” said Roberts.
“After all, even though most
children recognize Santa Claus,
he is a stranger, and many of
them might be a little frightened.
“A child may want to just get
close to Santa or shake his hand
or even touch him. Parents
should be willing to content
themselves with that. Even
though most parents want that
photo of their child with Santa
Claus, there’s nothing sadder at
Christmas than a crying child
whose fuming and tense parents
have forced him onto Santa’s
lap. It adds a little stress to the
season that really should not be
there.”
All in all, the idea of Santa
Claus can be very beneficial for
children, teaching little ones the
ideal of selfless giving and
generally helping them par
ticipate in the fun and excite
ment of the Christmas season.
And it also helps build family
traditions, which Roberts said
are important for children and
adults as well.
“Santa Claus can be a rathei
fun-fiUed thing for them and it
increases the mystery of the holi
day season,” said Roberts.
‘There are a lot of nice things
that go along with the tradition
of Santa Claus-the cookies and
milk on the hearth, hanging
stockings, leaving carrots for the
reindeer, the story The Night
Before Christmas,’ and the idea
of a nice, grandfatherly old man
who loves them and who gives
them presents for no reason at
all.”
The tradition of leaving the
milk and cookies for Santa and
the carrots for his reindeer, for
instance, teaches children to
share. “It gives the child a sense
of sharing and of doing
something nice for someone,”
said Roberts. “It’s the idea of ‘If
you do something nice for
somebody, they’ll do something
nice for you."
#:+■ V'si'
m\r y isions of sugarplums
^ donee in their heads..
, during this mogicol holiday. ;-
time! Best wishes
!i<-
to all!
.•K brir. ",
h
■m
TULTEX YARNS
KINGS MOUNTAIN, N.C.
■ f . iJ .t' . -ti
■ ■ .
' ’ . .if..’A !»lfi
i 'iifi» inniov *'
I (i itdl tli ul > r; *! •
£ i
i )
A >