MRS. BEATRICE MAYS’S
This Week In
HOW GOOD A LISTENER ARE
YOU?
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (low
rating) to 5 (high rating) on each of
t he following statements. Ask two col
leagues to rate you on the same scale
and compare your findings.
1. I always attempt to give every
person 1 talk with equal time to talk.
2. I really enjoy hearing what other
people have to say.
3. I never have difficulty waiting
until someone finishes talking so that
I can have my say.
4. I listen even when I do not par
ticularly like the person talking.
5. The sex and age of a person
makes no difference in how well I
listen.
6. I assume every person has
something worthwhile to say and
listen intently to friends, acquain
tances, and strangers alike.
7. I put away what I am doing while
someone is talking.
8. I always look directly at the per
son who is talking and give that per
son my full attention, no matter what
is on my mind.
9. I encourage others to talk by giv
ing them verbal feedback and asking
questions.
to. I encourage other people to talk
by my nonverbal messages, such as
gestures, facial expressions, and
posture.
it. I ask for clarification of words
and ideas I do not understand.
12. I am sensitive to the tone of the
speaker’s voice, expressions, and
gestures that convey meaning.
13. I never interrupt a person who is
talking.
14. I withhold all judgments and opi
nions about what a person is saying
until I have heard it all.
15. I listen past the words to the feel
ings and meanings the person is ex
pressing, and test to see if I am
understanding correctly.
16. I make mental outlines of the
main points of what a person is say
ing.
17. I look mainly for points on which
we can agree, not mainly for points
on which we disagree.
18. I respect every person’s right to
his or her opinion, even if I disagree
with them.
19. I view every dispute or conflict
as an opportunity to understand the
person better.
20. 1 recognize that listening is a
skill and I concentrate on trying to
develop that skill in my daily life.
Scoring: Add up the total point
value of your rating and score them
as follows:
90-100—You are all ears.
80-89—You are a pretty good
listener.
70-79—You are missing a lot
69 and under—It might be a good
idea to have your ears checked.
HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR
MARRIED CHILDREN
1. Choose the daughter-in-law with
whom you have the most comfortable
sense of accord. Personalities (tiffin'
tremendously, some clash and ir
ritate, and others warm and
strengthen each other. Remember,
it’s the woman of the bouse that you’ll
be dealing wiht most, so insofar as
you can, select the one with whom
you feel the closest bond.
2. Have a definite agreement about
the division of household work. If
there are certain things you know
you are expected to do as your share,
it will be better all around than if you
are always trying to search out
something that may or may not
please the family.
3. Keep your own friends, in
terests, and activities, coming and
going as much as is feasible in your
own way. Invite “the children'’ along
with you from time to time if you
wish, but do not make a regular prac
tice of expecting them to accompany
you.
4. Respect their privacy, their ac
tivities and their friends as their own.
This means that you will not pry into
their affairs in either direct or in
direct ways. Listen when they tell you
about their interests, but be very
careful in expressing your opinions or
judgments about them} Go with them
occasionally, but don’t make it a
habit. When they entertain, assume
that you will make other plans unless
you are specifically invited. Even
then you may tactfully leave early
upon occasion.
5. Remember always that your job
of bringing up your children was
finished long ago, and that you only
make a nuisance of yourself when you
try to discipline or judge behavior,
even with the subtlest suggestions.
This holds for all areas of life, in
cluding the way in which they are br
inging up their children.
6. When you see an opening where
you may make a constructive con
tribution, or offer a helpful sugges
tion, talk it over with one or both of
the married partners as a possibility
that they may want to consider,
before assuming that of course yours
is the best way for them.
7. Maintain your own room as
strictly your own in which you can be
surrounded with your belongings and
the atmosphere that is uniquely
“you.” Invite others in from time to
time to see something, or to read, or
listen to radio, or whatever, but do
not let your privacy be invaded more
often than you can comfortably take.
This may be so important that it is
worth fighting for if necessary.
8. Give and receive graciously,
freely, and without strings or obliga
tions. No man lives to himself alone,
especially if “he” is a woman. Each
of us at times must lean, and at times
can help bear others’ burdens. If the
giving is spontaneous, and the receiv
ing is with appreciation, the relation
ship can be strengthened by its inter
dependence.
LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE AS A
WIDOW
Where you go to live, and how you
work things out when your husband
dies, depends on you. How good your
health is, how adequate your finan
cial resources, how personally in
dependent you have learned to be,
what claims others have on you, and
whether you have a home of your own
that you can continue to call home, all
are relevant.
SOME FACTS:
1. The best thing you can do is to
get followers to mirror your actions
by being what you wish them to be.
2. Don’t wait until you’ve had a
heart attack to start doing something
about your anger.
3. A recent survey in Washington
found that almost all 8- to 12-year-olds
could name and spell the names of
five beers correctly, but very few
could name and spell the names of
five former presidents.
4. Standing in the middle of the
road is very dangerous; you get
knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
5. We never repent of having eaten
too little.
6. Look out how you u&e proud
words. When you let proud words go,
it is not easy to call them back.
7. The less secure a man is, the
more likely he is to have extreme pre
judices.
8. A wise man controls his temper.
He knows that anger causes mistakes
(Proverbs 14:29).
9. Don’t ever forget that it is best to
listen much, speak little, and not
become angry; for anger doesn’t
,make us good, as God commands that
)we must be (James 1:19-20).
110. Don’t be too eager to tell others
Ibeir faults, for we all make mistakes
'{(James 3:1).
■ 11. Anyone who says he is a Chris
tian but doesn’t control his sharp
jtongue is just fooling himself, and his
religion isn’t worth much (James
1:26).
! 12. Don’t criticize and speak evil
about each other. If you do, you will
be fighting against God’s law of lov
ing one another, declaring it is wrong.
What right do you have to judge and
criticize others (James 4:11*12)?
13. To remove grease and grime,
from the hands and face: Take a cup
(of lard and add 5 tablespoons of
sugar. Mix well and use like soap.
'You’ll be amazed at the results.
14. This year’s recipe: Take 12 fine
full-grown months; see that these are
thoroughly free from all old
memories of bitterness, rancor, hate
and jealousy. Cleanse them com
pletely from every clinging spite;
pick off all specks of pettiness. Cut
each month into equal parts—an
equal part for each day of the month.
Do not attempt to make up the whole
batch at one time.
Prepare as follows: Into each day
put equal parts of faith, patience,
courage, work, hope, fidelity,
liberality, kindness, rest, prayer and
meditation. Add about 1 teaspoon of
good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of
folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heap
ing cupful of good humor. Pour love
into the whole and mix with a vim.
Serve with quietness, unselfishness,
and cheerfulness.
§S:s
t
-"'A:
-*'•: -
—
—~
tlNCOLNVILLE AME CHURCH
AND COMMUNITY NEWS
BY ANNIE PERRY
ASBUBY-Church School began at
to a.m. with the superintendent, Me.
aunnrlntanHnnf >|
Nellie Penney. in cMrSTSe opt
ing selection was “Pass Me Not, 0
Gentle Savior.” The Apostles' Creed
T^ri'^TS
ottered oy Kev. couins Kxuoy. rne
subject of the lesson was “God’s
Pnioce With Judah,” Exekiel 1:44.
25-30, 3M*b. The key verse was taken
from Eiekiel i-*^*?*
dent was Ms. Dorothy Shaw. Acting
secretary was Ms. Nellie Penney.
Pastor is Rev. Allen Terrell.
Morning worship began at ll a.m.
with the pastor, Rev. Allen D. Terrell,
—end the local elders
assisting. The Senior Choir furnished -
the music. Doxology was performed
by the choir and congregation. In
vocation and call to worship was by
the pastor.
The opening hymn was “Holy, Ho
ly, Holy,” followed by the morning
prayer by Rev. Collins Ridley. The
selection, “O for a Thousand Tongues
to Sing,” was followed by the respon
sive scripture reading and Decalogue
by the pastor
Announcements and recognition of
visitors were done by Ms Bessie
Ridley. The selection, “1 Don’t Want
to Run This Race in Vain,” was
followed by the mission and general
offerings by David Evans. The offer
tory selection was "All Things Come
of Thee, O Lord." After the selection,
“Just a Closer Walk with Thee,”
remarks came from the pastor's
notebook.
Children’s altar call and Bible
verses were next. The church had a
moment of silent prayer. The ser
monic selection was "I Am on the
Battlefield for My Lord."
The morning message was brought
by the pastor. Rev. Terrell, from
Luke 10:2 on the subject, “Are You
Working for the Lord?" The invita
tion to Christian discipleship was ex
tended as the invitational selection,
“Hold to God’s Unchanging Hand,”
was sung. The alms offering for the
sick was lifted by the Stewardesses.
The hymn of preparation was “Break
Thy Bread of Life, Dear Lord.” The
general confession was followed by
Holy Communion. The Lord’s Prayer
was chanted and the prayer of
thanksgiving followed. The Apostles’
Creed was followed by the Doxology
and benediction.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Church School is supposed to begin
at 9:30 a m. Please try to be on time.
Regular pastoral days are every
Sunday at 11 a m. The first Sunday,
the Lord’s Supper is served.
Hour of Power praise service is
held every Sunday at 6:30 p.m. You
are invited to come out and praise
God with the church.
Bible study is held every Wednes
day at 7 p.m.
On Thursday night, the official
board meeting will be held.
Rev. I.J. Irving, pastor of St.
James AME Church, Sanford, has in
vited Rev. Allen D. Terrell, the Male
Chorus, the Combined Choir and en
tire congregation to come out and
render service for revival on Thurs
day, Sept. 19.
The Women’s Missionary Society
will sponsor a fundraising program to
support its projects and annual
budget for the society. This program
will be held Sunday, Sept. 10, during
the 11 a.m. service. The program will
feature recognition of Grandparents’
Day. Won’t you support them by
donating $2 for a vote? Everyone can
participate.
On Sept. 16 at 7:30 p.m., the Gospel
Choir will present a program.
On Sept. 17, the Senior Choir’s an
niversary will be held.
A happy birthday goes out to Alton
Hooker, Sept. 4; Larry Evans, Sept.
7; Ms. Hattie Hooker, Sept. 8; Willie
Shaw, Sept. 8; David Evans, Sept. 8.
We trust all of you will have happy
birthdays and pray that God will
bless you with many more to come.
The sick and shut-in are Willie
White and Grover Perry. We trust
that Ms. Mary E. Evans is still doing
better. We are praying for our sick
and shut-in and the senior citizens all
over. We must continue to pray for
one another. We are praying for a
special friend, Ms Juanita Williams,
and for the family. When in sorrow,
read John 14, and when you worry,
read Matthew 6:19-34. We know God
will uplift you, because He knows just
how much we can bear. He said ask in
His name. So just have a little talk
with Jesus. We know prayer changes
things.
Rhamkatte
BY LUCILLE ALSTON
RHAMKATTE-Church School
began at 9:45 a.m. with all classes
reporting. The subject of the lesson
was “God’s presence with Judah,"
Ezekiel 1:4-6, 15-20, 26-28. The key
verse was repeated by the school. Ac
ting superintendent was Albertine
Sanders, who presided. The adult
class was taught by Thomas Burt.
Classes had a 45-minute study period.
The lesson was reviewed by Ms. Mad
die Little. After the report from the
acting secretary, Doris Williams, the
service closed.
At 11 a.m., Rev. E.C. Hughes spoke
from Romans l: 16 on the subject,
“The Unleashed Power of Jesus
Christ." Music was furnished by the
Senior Choir, with Ms. Hazel Hughes
at the piano. Morning prayer was of
fered by Falla Michander. An
nouncements were made by Phyllis
Burt. Mini-church was led by Betty
Rogers. Rev. Hughes left the congre
gation with a message on how the
unleashed power of the Holy Spirit
can do all things. Jesus teaches, “I
am the beginning and the ending.”
The power of Jesus will take care of
you.
The invitation to Christian
was followed by Holy
served by the pastor,
Bible study is held every Tuesday
at 7:30 p.m.
Trustee Day will be observed Sept.
10 at 11 a.m.
- On the sick list are Ms. Kathleen J
Hemby, Ms. Lola McClain, John T. 1
Singletary, Ms. Mary Utley, Ms. Ber- '
tha Pierce, Ms. Linda Chavis, Ms. <
Mary Murphy, Ms. Ella Fletcher, Ms.
Margaret Kearney, and Isaac
Kearney. t,el us keep praying for the I
sick everywhere. God still sits on the 1
throne and He does take care of His <
own. <
The Rhamkatte community is in
sympathy with the Burt family in the *
passing of their loved one, Raymond s
Burt, who died Sept. 3. Funeral ar
rangements were incomplete at this 1
writing, but we say to the family that 1
God has never made a mistake. Keep <
praying. <
The YWCA Golden Oaks began
their meeting Aug. 20 with an exer
cise class at 10:30 a.m. Bible study at
ll a.m. opened with prayer by Ms.
Mary McKay. The lesson was taken
from Psalms 91 and was explained by
the different members. Then the
group was led in prayer by Ms. Daisy
Brown. Ms. Margie Williams sang a
solo for the ones who had birthdays in
August. Ms. Greene played the piano.
The group then had lunch with bir
thday cake and ice cream. Those
celebrating birthdays were Ms.
Mammie Kearney, Ms. Mary McKay
and Ms. Gertrude Howell. We say to
all of you, God bless you and may you
have many more birthdays.
Clinton
BY A.M. JOHNSON
STEP BY STEP
We must take one step at a time and
experience the stream of good as it
comes. We must live one moment at a
time and therefore do not feel rushed
and hurried. Things proceed in an
orderly fashion and there is time
enoughf or everything we need to do
or desire to do. By taking one step at a
time, we live one beautiful day at a
time, one happy day at a time.
—Carol A. Johnson
CLINTON—Ace and Sheila Stewart
announce the birth of a daughter,
Brittany Alisha, at Pioneer Hospital,
Artesia, Calif., on Aug. 18. Brittany
was 20 inches long and weighed seven
pounds, 10 ounces. She is the couple’s
second daughter. The maternal
grandparents are Mr. and Mrs.
Arden Beckett of Clinton. The pater
nal grandparents are Mr. and Sirs.
Casey Stewart of Jackson, Miss.
Corbett Johnson of Detroit, Mich,
spent several days last week in Clin
,ton with his mother, this writer, ac
companying her back to Winston
Salem to visit Mr. and Mrs. Charmis
Williams for a few days.
On our way back we stopped in
Greensboro to visit the writer’s other
children, Bernard and Joyce, and
their families for a few days.
Birthday greetings are extended to
Ms. Christine Pridgen. She
celebrated a birthday recently.
The women of First Baptist Church
are busy getting ready for Women’s
Day. If you don’t worship with them
on Sunday, Sept. 24, you will miss
something good.
During the afternoon at 6 p.m., they
will present “Slab Town
Convention.” The minister will be
Rev. Naomi Price. If you miss that,
you’ll be sorry. We’ll see you there.
Ms. Irene H. Thomas, Ms. Sadie
Hill and their father, Charlie Hill, are
back at their home in Rochester, N.Y.
after spending the summer at their
home in Clinton.
SENIORS CAN WORK IN CENSUS
President Bush’s recent signing of
new legislation will allow federal,
postal and military retirees to accept
a temporary 1990 Census Job without
any loss of retirement pay or
benefits.
Under the new law (PL 101-86),
federal retirees may accept any
number of short-term Census Jobs
without incurring any benefit losses
provided that he total aggregated
time does not exceed six calendar
months, and that the appointment
does not extend beyond Dec. 31,1990.
Generally, before the new law, a
retiree working during the 1990 Cen
sus would have faced a benefits
reduction.
The decennial Census is the largest
peacetime operation undertaken by
the federal government. The Census
Bureau estimatee that It will need to
employ approximately 480,000 tem
porary workers to conduct the count.
Recruitment for management and
administrative positions will begin
next month. Anyone interested in a
Census Job should contact their state
employment office or the neareet
Census Bureau office.
POW-MIA
(Continued from page 13)
his experience In
North Vietnamese
tion, he will address
our government can
a full accounting of
the
have a
•OW/MIA commemorative medal,
'his special medal was designed in
984 and issued by the federal go
iient to the POW/MIA families.
POW/MIA FACT SHEET
•Total number of Americans still
irisoners, missing or unaccounted
or in Southeast Asia is 2,357. Includ
d in this number are 59 from North
Carolina.
• The Socialist Republic of Viet
iam has only returned 257 remains
ince 1974.
• Nearly 700 of the 2,357 men were
jst in Laos or Cambodia. No live
irisoners of war or any remains have
ver been identified or returned by
ither country.
HUD ON DRUGS
(Continued from page 13)
Under current regulations, illegal
irug activity will cause a family tc
lose assistance only when the familj
permits the apartment unit itself tc
be used for drug trafficking.
The new regulations would give
PHAs broad discretion to consider all
circumstances in each case, in
eluding the seriousness of the offense
the extent of participation by familj
members, and the effects that denia
or termination of the subsidy woulc
have on other, uninvolved familj
members. The PHA could also permi
family members not involved in these
felonies to receive assistance, as lonj
as the violator does not reside in the
unit.
“What I am proposing would als<
let the PHAs take into account usen
entering drug treatment programs
and let them consider reinstatemen
for those who have undergone dru|
rehabilitation," Secretary Kern]
said.
PHAs would be required to givi
participating families whose subsid;
is terminated because of feloniou
drug or violent criminal activity i
due process hearing of the propose
termination as set forth in 24 CF!
882.216 (b).
The new regulations are expect©
to be published for comment withii
the next two weeks
FAMILY hlolUHY
(Continued from page 13)
preacher McLean Moore, preside*
over one of the churches.
The Spaulding story extends we!
beyond eastern North Carolina. A
far away as California, Spauldinj
descendants have become lawyers
doctors, teachers and busines
leaders.
Two family members helped fourn
N.C. Mutual Life Insurance Co. i
Durham. George White, a greal
grandson of Benjamin and Edit
Spaulding, was the first black perso
from North Carolina elected to Cor
gress, serving from 1897 to 1901
Spaulding believes another descer
dant, Theodore Spaulding, was th
first black judge to serve i
Philadelphia.
Lou Hudson, the retired NBA stai
married a Spaulding descendanl
Oprah Winfrey's boyfriend, Hig
Point businessman Stedma
Graham, is a distant Spauldin
relative.
“I’ve always been interested i
history. When I was courting, I woul
take my girlfriend to see m
relatives,’’ Spaulding said. “Sh
would enjoy hearing about the olde
days.”
Last year, more than 600 Spauldin
descendants held a reunion at
Greensboro motel. Next year, th
family, which publishes a quarterl
newsletter and meets for reunion
every two years, will gather in Ne*
York City.
“It’s a cohesive family,” say
Spaulding, retired from the N.C
Agricultural Extension Service
“They have always worked togethei
cared for each other, been friendl
with each other."
In his research, John Spauldin
discovered 14 other John Spaulding:
The book traces five generation
along 10 Spaulding family lines: Bei
jamin and Edith Spaulding had l
children. They in turn all ha
children, ranging in number from on
toil.
His research took him to Cape Ma
Courthouse, N.J., a town founded b
the Spaulding dan, and where h
says more than 100 family membei
still live. He also traveled man
times to Columbus and Bladen coin
ties, where a slew of descendants sti
reside and where John Spauldin
owns 1,100 acres handed dow
through his side of the family.
He compiled the genealogy part <
the book, while his cousin, Louis Mi
chell, wrote the history section wit
help from Spaulding’s research. Unt
his death in March, Mitchell, who wa
blind, taught English literature at th
University of Scranton In Pew
sylvanla.
“I don’t think we left out a thing,
Spaulding says.
BLACK CAUCUS
■ •■nwwii HwwWwww
(Continued from page IS)
leaden. The seasioo coordinated b
Rep. Walter E. Fauntroy (D-D.C.
listed Atillah Shabazz (daughter <
Malcolm X), Mpho Tutu, Am
Carter, Marc Mortal, Susan Robesoi
Thurgood Marshall, Jr., Cherly Su
ton, Jesse Jackson, Jr., Pai
Gregory, Linda Chavez Rodrigue
Rep. Joseph Kennedy III and King.
Dr. Louis Sullivan, secretary <
Health and Human Services, delivers
a major address during the con
ference and the renowned Rev.
James Forbes of New York’s River
side Baptist Church was scheduled to
appear with the acclaimed Richard
Smallwood Singers, recently return
ed from a Soviet Union tour, at the an
nual CBC Prayer Breakfast. New na
tional drug czar William Bennett is
expected to discuss “Drug Control”
on a panel with Jesse Jackson, Dick
Gregory and Rep. Charles Rangel
(D-N.Y ), chairman of the House
Select Committee on Narcotics and
ranking CBC member.
In addition to coordinating the
event’s annual jazz forum, Rep. John
Conyers (D-Mich.) moderates a
panel on “Black Reparations-An
Emerging Public and Legislative
Policy.” In announcing the weekend
schedule, the CBC members proudly
noted that on Aug. 2, the House of
Representatives passed HR 2M0, a
$155 million 1990 appropriations bill
for the departments of Labor, Health
and Human Services and Education.
‘‘Programs that serve the poor, the
elderly and children were protected
from cuts and, in most cases, receiv
ed increases,” Rep. Stokes
(D-Cleveland) announced. The House
has also passed a much-debated child
care bill providing funds for low
income families, but all these
measures must be passed by the U.S.
Senate before they become law in
1990.
The Congressional Black Caucus
was established in 1971 as a political
i unit in the House of Representatives
with only six members. It now has 23
, members. The CBC Foundation was
established in 1976 as a nonprofit, tax
1 exempt, educational, research and
i fundraising organization dedicated to
increasing the political awareness of
s black (African) Americans.
I
AGING
I (Continued from page 13)
1 choice.”
Beyond the conflict between the
public and private sectors, “Can’t Af
1 ford to Grow Old” examines another
debate that threatens to pit one
generation against another—the
debate over generational equity.
Former Colorado Gov. Richard
. Lamm contends that the elderly are
consuming a disproportionate share
. of national resources. “There are five
million American children who went
’ to bed hungry last night, and yet
’ we’re paying the health care benefits
; of millionaires,” says Lamm.
’ In his conclusion, Cronkite
. observes that “the demand and cost
for long-term care will soar as un
1 precedented numbers of Americans
experience the infirmities of old
1 age.” He continues, "We all desire
1 the longevity that modern medicine
has made possible. But we worry that
we, as individuals and collectively as
[ a society, can’t afford to grow old.”
MANDELA
’ (Continued from page 13)
1 Coetsee arranged for a meeting
1 between Botha and Mandela on July 5
5 at the president’s official residence.
At that meeting, Coetsee said,
1 Mandela had “endorsed peaceful
* development.”
V Mandela, the country's best-known
e black leader, has said he won’t re
1 nounce violence until the government
dismantles apartheid and legalises
* theANC.
9 Coetsee said he personally believed
6 Mandela was a moderate figure in the
V circles that ‘ ‘we normally describe as
5 revolutionary.”
v He described Mandela as being a
man who “would not leave his people
s in the lurch” and having “an old
■ . world, almost an old Roman” ap
proach to values.
» Mandela, imprisoned since IMS, is
y serving a life term for his conviction
on sabotage and plotting to overthrow
i the government.
■ _«_
VIU4WH* U1VUVH
S To Harria Plant
' Exercies9/14
V
y Residents within a 10-mile radius of
e the Shearon Harria Nuclear Power
8 Plant have been invited to participate
y in the Sept. 14 exercise for the plant’s:
emergency response plan. The par
I tial participation exercise will tost
* the ability of state and local eg—_
n and CP&L to respond in the event of*
an accident at the Harris Plant j
f Citizens may participate in several,
■' ways, including volunteering to be,
] evacuated and go to a shelter. En;
II route to a shelter, their cars may be
8 checked at deconatmination stations.1
e Once at the shelter, the evacueos will'
h be registered, and they may be
„ monitored for contamination.
Participation allows the area’s
residents to learn firsthand the
necessary steps for safety in the
event of a real emergency at thsr
plant. Public involvement also makes
the exercise more realistic tor the
y participating agencies.
) Residents of the 10-mile emergency
f planning zone who are interested in.
y participating and/or would like more
i, information should call the ap
propriate number listed below:
n Wake County-79S4MS
Lee County—755-3041
Harnett County-8944650
{ Chatham County—543-1011