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THE LAST FRONTIER
The Clarion \ Oct. 22, 2010
Your Horoscope:
Aries (March 21-April 19): You’re gonna
have plenty of time to live in a van down
by the river when you’re living in a van
down by the river
Lucky Camping Equipment: Sleeping Bag
Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): Discussing the
politics of World of Warcraft will result in
an epic beating.
Lucky Item: You Don’t Have One
Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): Your
headphones are too loud when they can
be heard from across the classroom.
Lucky Purchase: Hearing Aid
Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): Beware the
crystal meth tweekers on Halloween.
Lucky Habit: Running
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You can’t be fly
like a G6 because that model won’t be
released until 2012.
Lucky Sound: Silence
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): The Cracken
strikes again! You got scooped!
Unlucky Topic: Anything Related to Pop
Culture
Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor
in Chief: John M. Climer
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Rectum?
Damn near killed 'em.
Lucky Hygienic Product: Toilet Paper
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):
Studying the life of inmate Charles
Bronson will leave you convinced that
anarchy is the best medicine.
Lucky Travel Destination: Britain
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Although
Jersey Shore is popular, striving to be a
Southern Guido still makes you a douche-
bag.
Unlucky Toiletry: Hair Gel
Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Prepare
yourself to see the following this week: a
corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun,
a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains,
whistles, yo-yo’s, a circus midget, your
grandmother and a duck.
Lucky Movie: Black Sheep
Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Reading
the Clarion will leave you well informed
and altogether better off.
Lucky Habit: Cover to Cover
Ame>^ican He/?o
With less than two weeks until the
general election. New York independent
gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan
is sticking firmly to his party's agenda.
McMillan is a self-professed karate expert
and represents the "Rent Is Too Damn
High" party, whose platform is to freeze
rent prices, followed by a reduction of
rent in addition to the establishment of
a cap on rent prices. For upholding his
party's platform with ridiculous antics and
publicity stunts and for being the Mr. T of
politics, we salute you Mr. McMillan and we
agree, "the rent is too damn high."
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): You re
gonna end up eating a steady diet of
government cheese.
Lucky President: Obama
As mid-term general elections near, this Brevard resident is making a statement. Apparently he
has had enough of the “change” our country has been experiencing from the current administration
and has chosen to voice his opinion with a tramp-stamp for his ride.
We at the Clarion are already making our own “Stop Palin 2012” signs. For purchasing
information, contact us at clarion@brevard.edu (just kidding).
WANTED
Staff members to write, report, photo
graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise
ments for the student newspaper.
The Clarion needs your help! As a
volunteer staff member, you can
• earn academic credit in COM 106
• get a cool T-shirt for a job well done
• reap financial rewards for serving
Brevard College
• know about "stuff' before everyone
else does
Staff meetings are open to all
Fridays at 11:30 a.m.
in IVI-G 102