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Page 2 The Clarion \ Nov. 4, 2011 Herman Cain vs. my patience By Alex McCracken staff Writer There's never been a candidate like Herman Cain; at least not to my knowledge, and if there was, there must be a very good reason I've never heard of him. I'll put my bias up front. I do not like Herman Cain. Every time he opens his mouth, all I see is an empty suit. He paints political talking points in broad, delirious strokes and responds to their criticism like a high school student being berated for not reading his assignment. I'm not saying you shouldn't vote for him (out loud), but I am saying you should take a cold, hard look at what someone like him wants out of politics. I have an idea what that is, and it's not a pretty picture. Maybe you remember his idea to not only build the Mexican border fence, a plan so financially absurd I could write three different articles on that alone, but he wants it electrified to a lethal degree. Why? When I watched the video I chalked it up to rabble rousing. Part of the "no such thing as bad press" strategy. But then when a bunch of reporters call him on his bluff . . he doubles down, while not actually committing to it, or saying he was wrong. “I’m not walking away from that, I just don’t wanna offend anybody” He wants a deadly electric fence that targets Mexicans, but is simultaneously focused on racial sensitivity. He just doesn't make any goddamned sense. Which leads me to his 9-9-9 tax plan. A tax code that would invade every single state in the union. Even if it were a glorious beacon of hope for our beleaguered economy, it just gives the top 1 % a back rub, it would be a cold day in hell if it passed through even a third of all the state senates. It's a grand gesture that belittles state's individual budget problems, it just doesn't make any goddamned sense. But hey, it gets even weirder, I used to love the game Sim City to pieces, and when I heard about the 9-9-9 plan initially, something about it seemed eerily familiar ... it was the default tax setting for Sim City 4. Commercial, residential, and industrial taxes are each set to 9 percent when you boot up a new game and they are a strong metaphor (RE: the exact same thing) for Herman Cain's national sales and corporate tax reform. Normally I'd chalk it up to a coincidence, but it is a seven year old game, and he is quite simply ballsy enough to think he can get away with ripping off a computer game's tax codes. Maxis (the game's publisher) tried to crush the rumor in this press release. "We encourage politicians to continue to look to innovative games like SimCity for inspiration for social and economic change. While we at Maxis and Electronic Arts do not endorse any political candidates or their platforms, it’s interesting to see GOP candidate Herman Cain propose a simplified tax system like one we designed for the video game SimCity 4." Isn’t it kind of weird how disappointed the press release sounds about how Cain decided not to rip off the hundreds of brilliant tax strategies for the game and instead went with the default setting!? But I digress, at the end of the day it sounds like he'll say anything to get elected. . .except when he vents bone-headed personal beliefs that will get him run off a stage. "IfYou Don't Have A Job And You're Not Rich, Blame Yourself Right.. . ye olde "get a job hippie" chestnut. It's not like the companies we work for these days are raiding our 40Ik’s and our banks are playing an international shell game with our savings. No. That's not Herman Cain's America. In Herman Cain's America he's got his, and you just didn't try hard enough. He's not worried about losing his fortune made off of shitty gas station pizza, because he knows if you yell loud enough behind a podium with a nice suit, people will think you're trying to help them, even when you've literally said you're not going to help them. People like Herman Cain want power, and they usually don't know why. They want to be president because that means they're more important but they have absolutely no clue what to do with it all. There are hundreds of thousands of special interest groups who would absolutely love to tell him what would make this country great again. I fear he is ready to shell out for whatever policy makes him look good, rather than what this country needs. I'm not saying whether he should vote for him or not (the primaries aren't over and it's probably going to be Romney anyway) but I am saying you should think about why he wants to be president. |to pray to speal to write to rock Thanks to the First Amendment, you can be whoever and whatever you want to be. mm Hank Williams Jr. Join us online at Iforall.us Take a stand for the First Amendment.
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