PAGE FOUR
MAROON AND GOLD
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1942
JOLTS AND JARS
By John “Jekyll and Hyde" Pollard
It is only because we have such a
deep affection (T) for our readers (?)
that we write this tiipe. Maybe
you're interested in how we happened
to start writing (?) this stuff several
years ago. If you are not interested
go on back and read ‘Snip and Snoop’
again.
It happened that our predecessor
had just died and the editor (God
bless him, no one else did) was look
ing for a replacement. Being of an
inquisitive nature and facing tho
print shop, we got wind of his dire
predicament. So we went in and
with as much nerve as some radio
vocalists, we opened our great big
blue eyes and spouted forth, "We are
deeply grieved to hear of the Music
Editor’s death. Would you like for
us to take his place?”
"Very much," replied the editor,
“if you could get the undertaker to
arrange it.”
The undertaker took one look and
we've been writing this mess ever
since.
So with the reckless abandonment
of an M-4 tank after a bunch of Japs,
or a sailor with a hundred bucks and
twenty-four hours shore leave, we
set to work (?) throwing together
letters, words, phrases, etc., that
Guttenberg (Note to Freshmen: He
invented the printing press) couldn't
even recognize much less Noah Web
ster (Second note to Freshmen: The
Webster of dictionary fame). How
ever our efforts didn’t go unnoticed
because we were presented a first de
gree indictment for murdering the
English language and on the good
side. Dr. Smith was snowed under
with requests for a course in the new
language known in not-so-polite cir
cles as “Pollardish".
Our good fortune seemed to have
run out when word got to the dead
music editor that he wouldn't have
to take any of Dean Messick's Edu
cation courses to graduate and he
popped back on campus with a fresh
and invigorating outlook on life. But
Flowers
For All Occasions
WF. APPRECIATE YOUR
PATRONAGE
Moorefield Florist
Two Dddrs Below rarainouiit
Burliii;t(m, N. (\
BEST FRIEND
• • •
of the well groomed is
the Cleaner — See him
regularly.
Blalocks Tailoring Shop
• * •
BURLINGTON, N. C.
Across From Paramount
after one week-end on campus he de
cided he’d rather be shot by Japs
than bored to death here because at
least he could fight back out there.
Being as how this column was or
iginally devoted entirely to music
and music reviews and to some ex
tent still is, we review Harry James
and Orchestra.
Harry James and his Music Makers
Currently the most popular band
in the business, Harry James, didn't
get that way over night. Many times
since James left “the King”, Benny
Goodman, we have doubted the pos
sibilities of Harry James and his Mu
sic Makers ever becoming a number
one band. But now after a waver
ing start James has reached the pin
nacle of dance'-bandom success—
America's number one dance band.
If ever a band deserved the name,
the present Harry James crew does.
No matter the type, the mood, the
tempo, the style, or the piece, the by
word of popular music addicts is
"Harry James does it better"—and
rightfully so, because music by this
A-1 band is consistently good listen
ing whether it be sweet or swing.
However, don't take our word for
his versatility, his populairty, or the
listening ability of his aggregation;
just catch a James broadcast from a
hotel in New York, or a restaurant
in Chicago, or a night club on the
coast, or any place that's known for
its good bands. Because where there
are good bands James is there, has
just left or will be in soon—or check
on the recordings made by the band,
or as final indication, see the movies
starring Harry James and his Music
Makers. For a band to pack 'em in.
please 'em, and sell 'em the way this
band does it has to have what it takes
and the Music Makers have what it
takes.
As you can see from the above
stuff we are really hard working and
energetic. And speaking of hard
work reminds us of the job (?) we
held (?) our freshman year (the first
one).
We had been assigned to assist
Mr. Apple in sawing down and nail
ing up the college.
On the first day that we reported
—for work (?) he asked, “Are you a
good carpenter”?
I To which we answered. “Yes”—
being very modost^—as usual. j
“’Then how do you make a Vene
tian blind"? He asked.
“Stick your finger in his eye,” we
answered merrily and holding our
sides.
Well, it was more fun raking leaves
anyway.
We were sorry to have to wake her
up. but formaldehyde is not a new
kind of leather.
One of the editors of a North Caro
lina daily explained his editorial po
licy to us the other day. He aims at
the man in the street. We did too
until gasoline and tire rationing
came along.
A friend of ours is in the hospital,
but it doesn’t look like he’ll be out as
soon as was expected. You can’t
blame him though, she certainly is a
good looking nurse.
We understand that this happened
on Professor Barney’s freshman Eng
lish class the other day. However,
we can’t vouch for the authenticity
of it because we weren’t there—this
year.
Prof. Barney—Mr. Poe, correct this
sentence: Girls is naturally better
looking than boys.
Gene Poe—Girls is artificially bet
ter looking than boys.
And about this blood donorlng bu
siness, we’ve already given a pint of
blood this year. Certainly hope the
mosquitoes appreciate it!
With the following we leave both
of you. but before we go we’d like to
say that the following is much more
appropriate if certain words are
changed—
It’s a funny world. If a man gets
money, he’s a grafter. If he keens
it, he’s a capitalist. If he spends it,
he’s a play boy. If he doesn’t get it.
he’s a ne’er-do-well. If he doesn’t
try to get it, he lacks ambition. If
he gets it without working for it, he’s
a parasite. And if he accumulates it
after a life time of hard work, he's a
sucker. The moral of which is: why
read “How to Win Friends and In
fluence People”—you can't win any
how, or you can't have your cake and
eat it too, or who cares?
So long.
iyiCTORY
BUY
UNITED
STATES
DEFENSE
SONDS
STAMPS
T. N. BOONE
Tailor For Elon Students
SINCE 1914
WANT A PIPE?
r WE HAVE IT
CITY DRUG CO.
I Burlington, N. C.
whenever Ycu Are In Need Of
Watch Repairing
Remember
You' re Always
Welcome
At Our Store
TroHingers
Buy Direct And Save
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Burlington, N. C.
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Bus And Taxi Service
Call 777 For Quick, Dependable Taxi Service To And Frons
Burlington And Elsewhsre
West Front Street
Burlington, N. C.
Hood Sporting Goods Co.
205 West Front St,
Burlington N. C.
SCHOOL SWEATERS AND JACKETS
TENNIS RACQUETS AND BALLS
TABLE TENNIS AND BADMINTON SETS
SOFTBALLS AND PLAYGROUND BALLS
GYM SHORTS AND BASKETBALL SHOES
FOOTBALLS
Special Prices to High School and College Students
Make Our Store Your Headquarters While In Burlington
IN THE BOMBER COMMAND
they say:
"OFFICE" for the bombardier’s place
"GREENHOUSE" for plane’s transparent nose
"ROGER" for okay or all right
"CAMEL" for the Army man’s favorite cigarette
FIRST IN THi SiRVICE
With men In the Army, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard, the
favorite cigarette is Camel. (Based on actual sales records
in Post Exchanges and Canteens.)
R. J. lUyooldiTobMcoCoiDpan;. Wlniton'Salem, NorthCirollnt
The” T-Zone"
where cigarettes
are judged
ITS
STRICTLY CAMELS
WITH ME, THAT
RICH, FULL FLAVOR
ALWAYS TASTES GREAT.
AND they're
MILDER ALL
WAYS
The"T-ZONE"—Taste and Throat—is the prov-
ing ground for cigarettes. Only your taste and
throat can decide which cigarette tastes best to
you... and how it affects your throat. For your
taste and throat are absolutely individual to
you. Based on the experience of millions of
smokers, we believe Camels will suit your
"T-ZONE" to a "T." Prove it for yourself!
CAMEL
COSTLIER TOBACCOS
I tTVRKlSH & DOMESTIQ. \
BLEND
CIGARETTES