Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / April 1, 1991, edition 2 / Page 3
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WhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhat Complaints Unjustified To the Editor: We would like to respond to some criticisms leveled i at our contracting company which is currently work i ing to build the new Guilford apartments. First of all. we are not behind schedule, as some people seem to think. Barring "any more inclement 1 weatherof any kind for the rest of the summer, we expect to finish up just as students are returning to school. And another thing, our workers do not "goof off' as they have been accused of lately. They are hard workers dedicated to making the best possible apart ments. And the only way they can do that is by taking coffee breaks and substantial naps in the ; these guys deserve it! ' Finally, cost overruns are not going to be a problem. A clause in our contract specifically states that in the event that funds run short, we have tne right to substi tute cardboard for otherwise more expensive materi als, thus saving thousands of valuable dollars. I hope I have put to rest any misgivings about the job our boys are doing for your school. Remember, if you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to j •• drop by the construction site and share them with us— odds arc, we won't be busy. Moe Howard President, Larry, Moe & Curly Contractors Changes In Store to Cover Student Decline To the Editor: I would like to clear up some points overlooked in the March 25 article on second-semester enrollment decline, the consequences of which will be severely felt by all Guilford students. Along with the decline in tuition revenue which will result, it is apparent that the quality of teaching at Guilford has also diminished this past semester. This will have several effects for remaining stu dents. First, tuition increases for the 1991-92 year will average 25 percent. This will include fees for room and board, as well as activity fees. Second, all students will be required to take at least 24 credit hours per semester to offset the loss of students due to the tuition increase. Third, because the quality of teaching was obvi ously not up to par, all students' grades for fall semes ter 1990 will be reduced by one quality point. An A will become a B,a B will become a C,etc. Anyone who received a D in any class will then receive an F. No petitions for exceptions to these new policies will be accepted. Objections will not be tolerated. Sick Doe Business Manager What Did I Do to Deserve This? To the Editor: I would like to respond to a claim made in the last issue of your paper. In Laura Seel's column, i was LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ■ depicted as "a spineless, immoral pile of goo not worthy to look at, much less kiss, [Laura's] feet." I'm not completely sure what brought this reaction on, especially given that I have never met the writer. The only thing I can conclude is that I'm being ma iigned because I'm friends with Gary Eudorf, whom See dated and broke up with in fourth grade. However, I have a nard time believing this would cause the above tirade, i. it possible that I have caused her some other greater trauma that I'm.not aware of? Jan is Larkir No, you haven't. Seel says she did write about yoi because.of Gary. She also adds: "Burn, Jams. Bum ' Ed. t Blah, Blah, Blah To the Editor: ■'''-*•• I am offended by the offense of the offenders being offended by the offensive statement made by the offend ers who are offended at the offensiveness of myself and the other offendees. ImaDoofus More Fulfilling Life Just Around Corner ■Dear Mr. Goofordian: Have you noticed the Lrend approaching us right how, the dating and mating style that will follow lis right into' the 19905? If you are like any of the millions of single people in the United States who has experienced any or ali ' parts of the last few decades-of dating, you m&v have noticed a definite'change. No longer does being single mean being alone, Mr. Goofordian. True friendship is back. Companionship has returned and the need for close relationships is again recognized for its shared importance and value in two peoples' lives. Romance in the 90s! Isn't that a refreshing solution? MatchMaker International® has a network of 72 of fices, enrolling thousands of single, divorced and wid owed people every month. These people decided if our membership program was right for them by filling out a preliminary questionnaire. Our trained counselors review these questionnaires and determine if our membership is right for you. You're an individual, Mr. Goofordian, and we treat you like one. MatchMaker International's Personal Introduction Service offers you the opportunity to meet available, single people in your area. And who knows, you might even meet the future Mrs. Goofordian! Any tiling is possible. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW! A more active and fulfilling social life could be just days away. Picky Fuster Regional Manager Lack of Concern for Campus Carnivores To the Editor: As a carnivore, I'd like to express my extreme displeas ure over the lack of raw meat in the cafeteria's meals. Studies have demonstrated time ana time again the high nutrient content of a bloodied slab of flesh. I'd like to sec more barbecue, and maybe a pork or cattle bar on Wednesdays. . If it was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for me. A little more red meat —is that too much to ask? Helga Slausht^ Tally-Ho. Old Bean To the Editor; Yoicks! Tally-ho! We shall set those buggers aright come the morrow, eh? Right-o! Would you have any Grey Poupon, old bean? My word, she's as keen as the gleaning of the gleaming of an eye. And what good fellow wouldn't be, eh, old chap? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, and all that, you know. Well now, jolly good! I say, what do vo'u suppose this letter i $ about, then? Anglophilically yOurs, A. Wet Towell Unnecessary Killings at Peaceful Guilford To the Editor: Yesterday I saw the construction workers next to Bryan parking lbt recklessly killing living things as thev went about their work. These worker-, as they walked around preparing the new road, were behaving negligently and smushing thousands of innocent ants. A petition to "Save the Anus" will be set up in Fbunders'next Monday and Tuesday. If you arc against the random genocide of our ant friends (not to mentions worms, licks and any other helpless insect unfortunate enough to be in the way), please support this cause and sign your name. Save the innocent ones! 1.15. Godd • • The Goofordian welcomes all readers to submit letters to the; editor. Letters should be legible, prefera bly typed and double-spaced. They must be signed, dated and include the author's phone number, address and shoe size. Please include a suggested title limited to, but not less than, 17 characters in length. Letters should be careless, not thoughtful, and appeal to as specific a section of the student body as possible. Kindergarten chatter is acceptable. Letters and edito rials do not necessarily reflect the intelligence of their authors. The Goofordia n and its staff reserve the right to edit for length, clarity. taste and just to be obnoxious. Letters should be mailed to P.O. Box 17717 or deliv ered to Jacob's Butt, second floor Founders Hall, by 5 p.m. Thursday. Comments or Criticisms? Save 'em—we don't care THE GOOFORDIAN April 1, 1991 3
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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April 1, 1991, edition 2
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