Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Nov. 1, 1996, edition 1 / Page 14
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12 The last time I checked: I was still sane BENJAMIN C. JOHNSON staff writer "Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage." - H.L. Mencken Fve got to vote on Tuesday? You' ve got to be kidding me. I've laid hands on a sample ballot thanks to our local newspaper/coupon distributor, the Greensboro News & Record , and it's not a pretty sight (I mean the ballot, not the newspa per). There are fifty positions to be filled, three amendments to the NC constitution, and eight bond is sues to approve. That's 61 selec tions I have to make on Tuesday. Yippee. And, guess how many I have any real position on: Five. "Yippee" again. I*ll admit it: I'm basically unin- My Noise byßobUllman ! SUNDAY Z DECIDED TO | CLEAN THE BATHROOM. i f 01 U&rrum- WHILE X WAS SCRUBBING AWAY AT THE TUB, X HEARD THIS IN IBRD SOUND, LIKE FOOTSTEPS, COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM. I IGNORED IT ONCE, BUT THENX HEARD IT AGAIN. The Guilfordian formed about most of the candidates and issues (not all of 'em ... I'm not a complete idiot). And, on Tuesday, a very large per centage of the voting public (if they bother to show up) will be making most of their selections fairly, mostly, or totally uninformed. Why is this? We're all relatively sentient creatures, not suffering from dementia or recovering from a state- sanctioned lobotomy (wait ... that's "I'm not Ben." H^ IS posi tive Jesse is a nice guy ... or maybe he's just not above bribing family members to appear in political ads (I IT WAS A MUCH BIGGER JOB THAN IT SHOULD HAVE 1 I BEEN. THE TUB HADN'T : BEEN CLEANED IN AWHILE, SO THERE WAS THIS GROSS BLACK STUFF EVERYWHERE. ' X WENT OUT AND LOOKED ON THE FRONT PORCH, BUT THERE WAS NOBODY THERE. X NEVER DID FIND OUT WHAT THAT NOISE WAS. M kl, L^L life! just me). Like eve ry body else (I hope), I read the paper, I watch the news , . . and all I'm certain of is that Jesse Helms' grand daughter Becca Lee November 1,1996 Hey all you gro Looking for something to do on a Friday Night? Well, come out next Friday, November 8, to see: The Slackers and The Jumpstarts in our very own cafeteria! As a Union event, it isfrec to Guilford College students with their I.D. and three dollars for non-students, j 1 can respect that). Even though this is print media, I will make the bold statement that tele vision is probably the most influen tial yet least beneficial medium when political campaigns are concerned. Turn on the local news: you'll notice a smaller than usual number of annoy ingly excited car dealership ads, and an amazingly large number of identi cal, bland, and fairly useless political commercials. (Paraphrasing:) "Vote for me! The incumbent is soft on crime. My oppo nent has a shady financial past. Stop lying about my record! It has NOT been proven that I am the Antichrist." You get my drift. I am gladdened, though, by the fact that the N&R as well as other daily pa pers I read, after stealing them from people's drive ways, have attempted to flesh out the "real" issues and the candidates' re sponses to them. Sure, these responses are simply written-down "sound bites," but at least we have their posi tions right in front of us. So, before you and I vote, let's fig ure out, right now, what one issue is important to us (I really mean "later." I don't have that much room on the page.). Let's cut through all the silly, "non" issues—for example, school prayer, allowing homosexuals the right to marry... yeah, these are earth-shat tering issues ... give me a break. The Guilfordian Guilford College P.O. Box 17717 5800 W. Friendly Ave. Greensboro, NC 27410 There's a multi-trillion dollar debt... let's stay focused. Whether it's crime and punishment, taxes, the security of the federal so cial programs (anything that starts with Medi-, Social Security, unem ployment insurance), education, yadda yadda yadda... figure it out as best you can. Try to cut through the chatter and find out what the candidates are really saying about your issue. Then vote. For [insert deity of your choice] 's sake, vote. Maybe democracy isn't that perfect. Most politicians are probably "crooked" to some degree and are sim ply tools for the tobacco lobby or the unions ... or even the Indonesians. But, "Nsitiwr am V - % H - J ing anew when the new "bums" are voted in... but always remember: we have no one to blame but ourselves, the voters. Just vote. Tune in for Guilforum "After math: The day after the elections," Wednesday at 6pm on WQFS. Benjamin C Johnson, news director of WQFS, appears courtesy ofWQFS and Ir ritable Records. the last time I checked my all-en compassing, mam moth, worldwide his tory book, democ racy sure beats any thing else that's been tried... hands down. We can continue moaning and whin- Non-profit Organization US Postage PAID Permit No. 57 Greensboro, NC
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