Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Dec. 13, 1996, edition 1 / Page 12
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12 The last time I checked: I was still sane BENJAMIN C. JOHNSON staff writer/ Mall Santa An Off-White Christmas (earlier title: A Karl Marx Christmas was dropped due to poor ratings from focus groups) Blanket statement : Christmas (as we know it) would be Karl Marx' least favorite holiday. It's bad enough that this holiday report edly celebrates the birth of the founder of quite possibly the biggest "opiate" this planet has ever seen (Jesus Christ; Chris tianity). Christmas is bar none (I've always wanted to use that term) the most dis turbing display of conspicuous consumption mankind has ever witnessed in a winter month. And, this orgy of capital ism allows itself to be contained in the four weeks between Turkey Day and Xmas. Not even close. I began to see holiday displays going up in de- Marx was often confused with the Jolly old elf when he wore this sylish winter cap. partment and grocery stores the first full week of November (November Bth . . are you kidding me?). Now, if you stretch the holiday season out to New Year's Day, that's close to two solid months of "Christmas" and Christmas related paraphanelia. That's one-sixth .. seventeen percent.. of the calendar year. That's just wrong. Who amongst my many readers (all right, three or four) buys candy for Halloween in late September or paints Easter eggs in mid February? I'm guessing not many of you. Oh .. but Christmas is an entirely differ- The Guilfordian Guilford College P.O. Box 17717 5800 W. Friendly Ave. Greensboro, NC 27410 The Guilfordian ent beast. Starting bright and early the Friday after Thanksgiving ("Black Friday"), the count less malls across this land open their doors to a seething horde of holiday shoppers. You probably saw it on the news : har ried soccer moms and grandmothers (and a father or three) forcing their way through the doors, trampling innocent employees and ignoring their screams, dashing to make a purchase or two or thirty, coming out hours, days later, eyes glazed, credit limits pushed, shopping bags full. - store employee wrap them), have a ham or turkey (or some vegetarian) Christmas din ner with your loved ones (or your family), go to midnight mass (if that's what you and yours do), wake up the next morning and open presents; and, finally, try to get the tree to the curb for pick up before the end of January. So.. From all of us to all of you : Have a Merry / Happy [insert your particular faith's December holiday here] and a Happy New Year! life! I'm not go ing to play this game this holi day season. This is what I'm going to do for the next twelve days (not counting exams, of course); I sug gest you do likewise if you wish to retain your sanity (or, at least, a good chunk of it): Buy the pre sents (this weekend will do . . next week's fine) and wrap them (or have some Non-profit Organization US Pottage PAID Permit No. 57 Greensboro, NC My Noise by Rob Ullman YESTERDAY SUCKED. X X WENT TO THE MUSIC WOKE UP ALL EXCITED STORE WITH NATHAN, BUT ABOUT THE NEW GUIDED TUEY DtDN'T HAVE MY 3Y VOICES DISC THAT RECORD. NO&OPY DID. WAS COMING OUT THAT IT WAS EITHER *SOLD PAY, | OUT" OR * NOT HERE YET"ALE OVER NEXT WE PLAYED SOME THEN I HAD TO GO TO HOCKEY ON SUPER N/N- WORK. I ■ ■[ B tsndo. nordiquEs vs. —mmmrnifKLssmmmm^ PENGUINS, BEST OP SEVEN. ■ —"W £ GOT CLOBBERED POUR ■ S> PLEASE GAMES TO ONE. I GOT X, KILL ) ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED■ B 5/ Annual Holiday Sale • Free! Champion Cap ($15.95 value) with the purchase of any Champion Sweatshirt • Free! Guilford College "Happy Holidays" Bear with every clothing purchase of $50.00 or more (while supplies last) • Free! Gift Wrap Kit with the purchase of 3 Hallmark Cards •All Guilford Embroidered Back Packs and Duffles 30% off, • East Pack "Mini" Back Pack 50% off • All Polar Fleece items- 10% off (including CRAZY hats & rolled blankets) • 20% off all Jackets • 15% off all laser engraved wooden items • Word Perfect Suite CD-Rom $39.00 • 20% off all Children's Clothing • One-size-fits-all sleepshirts (reg. 13.95, 14.95) sale 25% off • Many other Unadvertised Specials!! Book Buy Back! Mon.- Wed. 9-7, Thur. 9-5 Guilford College Bookstore • •••••••••••• r ••••••••••• Founders Hall •Holiday Hours: M-W 9-7, Th. 9-5 Call us at 316-2156 • E-mail us at: Bookstore@Rascal. Guilford. Edu
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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