Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / Sept. 5, 1997, edition 1 / Page 11
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The Guilfordian September 5,1997 jit Jf • * ■ W-i L - % 4 JjPfFv f . •V &' P .il f i . - "# JS " * V' *: > •• V ' % "•... h'y j®- Ife ¥ M, n * % % J/f v m \ WHf 9r ■. t \A P"? '#>A This summer when Max Carter wasn't saving peace in the Middle East providing all th quotes in our last issue, he u/as using the Slip-n- Slide as a deadl Whipped Potatoes!?! BY ZACK HAMPLE Staff Wrtter They serve the squishy white stuff to us at every meal except breakfast. And now, they think they can get away with disguising their unoriginality by giving it two different names. What's the deal? I don't even think it's really "potatoes" as we are told. It's gotta be some reject, insta-potato or "just add water" compound which you'd find in a second-rate nurs ing home in Boise. Other than false nutritional purposes, we could put these so called "potatoes" to better uses. I propose using them to fill the cracks in the pavement on the paths around campus. Perhaps, Union could set up "whipped po tato-wrestling" during Serendipity. I asked ten Guilford College students, "Other than their names, le Quick can you tell the difference between the mashed and whipped potatoes served in our cafeteria?" Five said "no" and five said "yes." The people who claimed that they could detect dissimilarities were unable to provide concrete evidence about the texture or fla vor. Instead, they could only com pare hypothetical kitchen methods of preparation. One person didn't even know there were two differ ent names for the "potatoes." All character likenesses have been omitted to protect the inno cent, so I can only say that a fe male sophomore admitted, "I go home when I want to eat mashed potatoes." Not all of us are this lucky. Another sophomore added, "I'm off the meal plan because of those potatoes." In response to my question, a freshmen lacrosse player shouted furiously, "Hell no! They taste like [expletive deleted]!" •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••a****** • So this page got cut from I the newspaper. Wait... • The first-year edition of • If you're a transfer student first-year/ I seconds/ear? If you don't • do you become a second-year/firs ; CrazinessU! I Email me (riordanol@rascal.guilford.edu • word for those freshmen/first-years/frosh • Guilfordian Editorial Board j a free CD from BB's! ii ■ ?yL W ~ TOPAZ, WHICH MAY HELP I —IP IU.UHWATF W I'H SITTING V 4 ®_tm y iwiiTiir ih T KNOW, YOU\£ NEVER HEARD SARL)ER TOOK/, X MAS WTHE UOOQS- 7VST \&ITT FOR A MOMENT, T Y/>ES ' YOU KHCUT-ANPTO CROSS A I LOOKEP POVYOV AT fur BEUEYE Me.irsmpty THE STREAMX RAN UP THE TRUNK CF A RISER, THE WKTER, MP WOT AMAZING FPRT CFHISTOFCI) NR&{ TO JUMP ONTO THE STUMPCF A HESITATEP... KOtTHNE, FOR SOMEONE CP MY EXPERJ&ICE... X WAS HE'P PRQBABCI BEAHEAP Op I "fkERE ARE SQUIRRELS, JMJMT MM twice ABOVT / j\ v kjjjli \ HOTidE us SCVKXY our of VESIM A GAP LIKE THAT. > YMR WAY ASYCUWALK, S VT TUERE MAS ONE SQIMRFTEI. |x STILL POMT, MOST OF TH^ TJ&EP ™ K"OW WHO'T> TIME, BIT ONCE IH A VMLE. VLIPPI9RSV9LIB W SCURRY IR YOU X STILL GET SPOOKED TVM9V CAME ALONCK AND WHEN X X HEAR A TWO SNAP, OR _ je % - MAS MTU MM,X OK>H"T[FTHER. SEE A HUMAN WALKING MY H * Z WAY. SOMETfMESX EVEM ■^RSSSRSS /\JL. H&/TATE BEFFORE A &H>L£AP... BBSWARSFFI -ntf „ WPaCglß^l 5 / Op HH I "I RWC QUILFIDROIAM. 11
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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Sept. 5, 1997, edition 1
11
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