Newspapers / Albemarle High School Student … / April 1, 1980, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of Albemarle High School Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Back page THE FOOL MOON April Fool’s Day, 1980 School Used To Be Fun .. . A few months ago the school administration changed the number of lunch periods from three to four, cutting down on the number of students the cafeteria has to serve at one time and giv ing everyone forty-five minutes to an hour to eat. In my opinion that change was a crummy thing to do to us! School no longer seems like school. All of the fast paced action of fourth period is gone. Take for example the fun created by daring someone to walk up the lobby stairs with an arm load of books when the lunch bell rings, while 200 starving kids barrel down upon him as they race to the cafeteria. The thrill has disappeared because no one runs any more with an hour to eat. Another disheartening factor of the new schedule is the food line is never long. A student can no longer hope to be late for class because they haven’t eaten yet. Also since there is enough time to eat, kids cannot gulp down their food in a few minutes before the bell rings, causing them to throw- up upon entering the room and be sent home with the excuse “sud den illness”. Another bad point is that with the additional time and fewer students the cafeteria never runs out of food. Now, without a valid reason, a person with “tattle-tell” brothers and sisters also at the high school cannot eat only ice cream, unless they live in fear of having Mom take away their lunch money. I hope this editorial will open up the eyes of the administration to the wrongs committed against the students because of the cafeteria change. All we ask is to be returned to the good old days of lunch room havoc. We cannot function in these orderly sur roundings, so please give us back the noisy halls, the long lines, the food shortage, and the lack of time. School was a lot more fun the way it used to be. Is life treating you bad? Seek help from Ms. Mumbles. ELESHA MUMBLES . . . Humpback Victim Cured B ULLDOG BARFS Spring football practice began March 17, 1980 for those in terested in playing football this coming fall. A Full Moon staff member reported to the practice field and found neither coaches nor players present. An attempt was made to contact Coach Holcomb but The Full Moon was informed Holcomb was in Myrtle Beach for a short vacation. One undisclosed player was heard as saying, “It’s just as good Holcomb wasn’t available for comment. No one could have understood him anyways.” With dedication, commitment, and devotion such as that displayed on March 17, the whole Full Moon staff would like to wish the Bulldogs the best of luck in 1980. Recently announced by Dr. Brown, Superintendent of Albemarle Schools is the begin ning of a new sports team here at the Senior High. The new sport will be “tiddlewinks” and will have games prior to basketball games in the winter. Teams will consist of four members each, with tryouts taking place in about one month. Albemarle will com pete with other SPC teams during the season. When asked why the Bulldogs wanted to take part in such a sport. Dr. Brown replied, “We might be able to win at least one conference crown.” ***!)! The Albemarle coaching staff recently traveled to Myrtle Beach for a Football Coaches Convention. The Convention was designed to help coaches learn the best possible techniques in coaching. The Full Moon con tacted one of the Albemarle coaches and asked him what he learned. The reply from the anonymous coach was, “All I learned was that I can’t play golf.” >K 4s Finally, The Full Moon would like to send its regrets to Albemarle’s baseball coach, Larry Fast. It seems that Coach Fast unknowingly cut the baseball team to eight members, one below the legal playing number. When told of his mistake. Coach Fast replied, “I’m the coach of this team and I do what I want.” bear Elesha, Help! I’m a nose-spray addict! I’m 16 now, and when I was 13, my nose was stopped up all of the time, so I started using nose- spray. From then on, everytime I’ve seen nose-spray. I’ve had a desperate urge to snort it. It’s really becoming a bad habit. The other day I walked into a drug store, snorted some nose-spray, and returned it to its place on the shelf. Please help me get unhook ed! Stopped Up Dear Stopped Up, Snorting nose-spray is not only a bad habit but a felony. Consult your physician immediately. Dear Elesha, I’m 14 and I have warts all over my hump-back. My hump-back is not such a problem, but in the summer I am afraid to wear a bathing suit because of my warts. How can I get rid of them so I won’t embarass myself this sum mer? Bumpy Dear Bumpy, Have you tried the tin-foil method — Sleep overnight wrap ped up in sardines and castor oil and if that doesn’t work, stay in the shower all summer! That’s how long it will take to get rid of the odor! Dear Elesha, I have a very big perspiration problem. I’m 15 and everytime I put on a clean blouse, one minute later it’s sopping wet. I’ve tried shaving under my arms and tap ing wet clothes to the sweaty areas. I really perspire when I get nervous on a date. Have you got any suggestions? Sopping Wet Dear Sopping Wet, You have dates??? Seriously, try an anti-perspirant. Dear Elesha, I’ve been dating this guy for 5 years and I really like him a lot. Recently though, something is really beginning to bother me about him. He has developed a crusty yellow bump on his eyelid. It doesn’t seem to bother him, but it is really becoming a turn-off. What should I say to him — should I confront him about his problem or should we stop seeing each other? Turned Off Dear Turned Off, A crusty yellow bump — that sounds repulsive! Either get turned on by the bump or get another guy! Tired of being pure and innocent? Call ANY-TIME Ask for QP at 'Comfort & Conversation' Shrub Shearers Associated? ? Having problems? Unwanted, unloved, Neglected? In misery? Visit. Cootie oi) at On April 1 (Fool’s Day) Albe marle Senior High School in troduced several new clubs to the campus. Each club has its own special purpose. Listed below are several, of these very unusual clubs. CMC The Cafeteria Monotonous Club is a group of high school students who meet once a month to try to distinguish what the menu of the previous month has been. They publish the paper “Do You Realize What You’ve Eaten?”, every other month to inform the students. Also listed in this paper are the symptoms of food poison ing. If anyone notices these symptoms or wishes to join the club, just-contact the club presi dent, Hubert Skinnybones. CCU The Class Cutters United is a group who meets weekly to decide on safe places to hide away from Flash’s sharp eyes, when deciding to cut class. If in terested in joining contact the club president, Johnny Hideaway. CJU The Curb Jumpers United will meet weekly to try to create new means of getting out of the park ing lot quickly and safely. Anyone with any ideas on how to effec tively get out of the parking lot or anyone who wishes to join the club please get in touch with the club officers: president, Auther Crashbang; vice-president, Sidney Helmethead; and secretary. Speedy Four-speed. GHP The General Hospital Patients meet monthly to discuss and criticize their favorite soap opera General Hospital. Anyone in terested should come to the next meeting equipped with a box of Kleenex. If you cannot be present at this meeting get in touch with the club president. Soapy Crybaby. SACA Swap-a-card Anonymous is a club especially designed for Seniors. At the meetings the students have all the time necessary to swap their namecards, without the risk of being caught by teachers. The next meeting is to be whenever. SSA The Shrub Shearers Associated will meet every month to learn the correct procedure for wood cutting. As one will notice they have already practiced in the school yard. Anyone interested in joining should contact the spon sor, Sherbert Shrubaway. THE GREEN FLEA Choice Delicacies Side Orders: Armadillo Toes Aardvark Lips Tuesday Special: Fleas Under Glass Has your cat been acting up lately? is he being finicky? rejecting mice? chasing dogs? Your worries are over! Bring him to . . . KITTY KORRECTION KORRAL ^ (KKK) You'll be glad you did!
Albemarle High School Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 1, 1980, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75