Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / April 1, 1977, edition 1 / Page 2
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Pi«e 2 HIGH LIFE April 1, 1977 General Chaos Between the Lines by Dr. Boo by Cindy Ward In the last episode of GENERAL CHAOS, we left Jimmy Bravo, the star player of Grimsiey’s backetball team squashed in his three-foot locker. Also, Coach Beaver was faced with the difficult decision of whether or not Billy Botch, the world's crumbiest player, in the big game against the Caged Pi-rats. The game was about to begin and Coach Beaver realized with a sinking heart, that Billy Botch would have to play in Jimmy Bravo’s place. Meanwhile, Jimmy, in the inky blackness of his locker, felt himself falling. He clutched wildly for support, but found none, as the main building began to shake with violent tremors again. Jimmy’s drop ended abruptly, as he paid Mr. Gully back in full for smashing him into his locker earlier. Mr. Gully, who had just stood up, brushed the dust from his clothes, and unearthed Mr. Topple, the assistant principal, was sent sailing out the front door of the main building and promptly flattened by Mr. Topple, who landed with a grunt on top of him. In the boys’ gym, Grimsby had managed to keep a half-time edge of ten points. Nobody had given Billy Botch the ball hoping against hope that he would foul out, but Botch, the world’s crumbiest basketball player, had been too busy tripping over his own toenaiL to be of any harm to the other team. As the second half was about to begin, Mr. Topple and Mr. Gully, still out on the front lawn, were trying to figure out how they got there in the first place. Both men were picking each other up, when suddenly Mr. Gully’s hair was standing on end as he pointed a shaking finger at a figure in a window of the second floor of the main building. ”G-g-g-ghost!!” screamed the terrified Mr. Gully, who in his haste to get away, stumbled into Mr. Topple sending both head over heels into a pile of sawdust, which was one of the main ingredients in the school lunches served up in the school’s cafeteria. Mr. Topple had caught a glance of the strange apparition just as he had fallen, when he surveyed the windows of the main building again, the specter had vanished. Now, eager to find out more about the ghost of Grimsby High, he bribed Mr. Gully with the promise of a blow-pop, to get the fearful man to go with him. Jimmy Bravo opened his eyes and cautiously stretched to see if anything was broken. He could not remember who or where he was or what he was doing in this pile of rubble. He slowly climbed the stairs to the second floor of the main building, to see if he could figure out where he was by looking outside. No sooner had he peered out the window, before he saw somebody or something pointing in his direction. Jimmy, who had Grimsby’s haunted main building ... HIGH LIFE Published whenever by Lesser menials in 868 801 Westover Terrace Outer Egypt, 27032 Head Honcho: “Missionary” Lee Evans Slander and Libel Department Leader “Wonder Woman” Eddy Eunice “On” Cavenass, Leigh “Passionate desire” Cagle, “Alkie” Pleasants Department of Absemiousness and Moderation Head Man; “Peanut Head” Tsintzos Gary “The Kid” Sue, Dave Nutcrunch, Larry Flynt, “Baby Bodie Mac” B “Brainchild” Theriot, Charlie Brown Peculiar Traits Department: Leader: Dr. Boo “Chintatown Chickaboa”, “Sophomore” Mitchell, “Spanky Sheepdog” Howard, Ms. Bnelah B., Erlene Pufty, Don Juan, D.D. Munchkin Mismanagement Manager: Chinatown Chickaboa Drunk-Ad Manager: “Alkie” Pleasants Three Blind Mice Department:Terry “The Photog” Williams Davey “The Archeologist” Ottinger, “Red” McEachem Scribbler: Alfonzo CowOelds Slack Senior Department: “No Cods” Cauble IDI Amin Advisory Department: “Grinch Scrooge” really seen nobody but poor, frightened Mr. Gully, began immediately to set a trap for anybody trying to get in. Quickly, he sprinted to the new science building to borrow some chemicals from Mr. McSkinney. the mad scientist. Jimmy swiftly obtained the chemicals he was looking for and ran back to the main building to set up his trap. Mr. Topple stepped cautiously through the door into the main building, only to be blinded by a flash of light and transported to a hangiong position, right along with Mr. Gully. • Suddenly, the building was rocked by a deafening explosion by the nitroglycerine Jimmy used to blow a hole in the floor to make an entrance to the “dungeon” beneath the main building. He cut the rope holding Mr. Topple and Mr. Gully, letting them drop into the musty dungeon-like atmosphere of the basement. The jolt of the e.xplosion had brought back Jimmy’s memory and as he peered into the basement, he grinned wickedly. With Mr. Gully and Mr. Topple trapped, skipping classes would be a free-for-all!! What luck! Now he would need to find a way to imprison the principal, Mr. Grinn- Meanwhile, in the boy’s gym, Grimsby was winning by twenty points with two minutes and three seconds on the clock. Suddenly, Grimsby on a fast break, lost the ball, which was somehow regaioned by Billy Botch, who immediately threw it down court to an astonished Pi-rat. An easy lay-up cut the score to an eighteen point lead by Grimsby, but from that moment on, it was downhill all the way. Botch made so many goofs, one of which was scoring two points ... the only points he had scored the whole season, for the Pi-rats. The had managed to blow a twenty point lead in two minutes! The Pi-rats were ahead oy one point with three seconds to go. Grimsby had the ball. Number ten threw the ball in. It was caught by Botch. Coach Beaver immediately dropped to his knees and starting praying. What had he done to deserve this, he wondered helplessly? Splinters. By John Pole Kobos. MacMillian. 456 pages. $8.95. This is an interesting explora tion into the life of a mediocre jock. Kobos. a young man who matured before his time, has some interesting things to say about the life of an athlete. Though Mr. Kobos has no real qualifications for writing this interesting essay, except perhaps for watching Richard Washington when he was a high school senior, he makes some very good points on the prospect of being a loser, a born loser. Kobos first decided to write this book when he was in Oregon, but at the time he thought it would be about winners -- come on John, that’s impossible: you a winner? He was thinking of writing a biography of some gay guy he met when he was eating silver dollar sized hamburgers in a place called White Castle in Chicago. Then Kobos, the great pole, moved to the Old North State -- Heck of a mistake it was. He found out his sophomore year what is was like to be bad which he wasn’t. Thus the impetus for Studentof the Month by David Bolton Intelligent, athletic, assiduous. Harold D. Minus. Words that try to describe our winner seem inappropriate. A student at Grimsiey for nine years, Harold is working on his Ph ' D. in maehine shop. After his schooling, Harold doesn’t plan to stop his drive to the top of the ladder of success. He has set his goals high, hoping to get a job with the city after graduation. Athletic ability? Virtually none. Motivation? Harold is often seen (on and off the campus) hot on the trail of knowledge, sometimes even sweeping a local newstand’s floor just to get a peek at the new issfies of several unmentionable periodicals. In his nine years on Grimsiey’s student council, he has been responsible for many popular student council changes; his most recent change confined all Palmetto bugs to the gym the writing. His junior year he went out lor the basketball team and got ctit. Then he went down to the YMCA to get drunk on Friday and Saturday nights, while sobering up on Sundays for the next week of life. In the book he explains the trials of being a loser in Y-ball. The book is Kobos’s second; His first, a novel, I Don’t Gel No Respect, has little acclaim. In Splinters Kobos sets down three theses and his absolute philoso phy of life. He concludes that 1) life is a bore without girls: 2) impossible without B’s: 3) cigarettes represent the masculi nity of the male American. He tics his personal acceptance of failure with his life philosophy, the infamous “that’s life’’ philosophy. Kobos makes this conclusion after being subjected to the humiliation of no game. The total void of life in the life of JPK is seen in his writing. His familiarity with the English language can be denied. But the picture of the “agony of defeat” is realistically developed and manifested by Kobos. Personals L.D. -- So he does know your name, huh! —A.P. C. H. -- Toasty! -L.S. N.F. -- He was looking at you! -T.W. Lynne - Exactly what did happen with him that night? -A.P. L.S. and M.B. -- Backseat! -L.S. A.P. - If “he’-’ only knew! -T.W. Anne -- Who needs him? You sure don’t! -L.S. T.L. - Whitetail!! A.P. - Turn the light on! -T.W., L.L., J.M. Lisa L. — You’re going to love yo ir initiation!! —A.P., J.M. ,v.P. - 97,48,103!!! -L.S. D. H.C. - Hey, sparklin’ eyes! L.B. - GFAWW! CACKLE! Your mama! I’ll never leave you ... Love Jessica A.S. - Thanks for the fruit. I’m going to get to know him. NO! Sniker sniker cocoa drops. NO! -M.P. L. B. - My main sophomore can’t wait till the chase. What’s this? -M.P. M. M. - Strangers in the night. Sorry seems to be the only word. You wait -M.P. Can Jimmy Bravo capture Mr. Grinn and imprison him so Grimsby students will overrun the school? Is it possible that Botch has botched Grimsby’s chances of winning the big game? Stay tuned to High Life to catch the continuation of this heart- wrenching tear-jerking story of GENERAL CHAOS! basement during school hours. Many were seen in both the hall and the cafeteria dancing to portable tape players before the rule was instated. Ilracn4]|yCbii«r 7t2areiiuiicu>AviMMe (flettind ec.k«rri'«J Ik* dbsMOsj Pooswsn
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1977, edition 1
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