Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / April 1, 1977, edition 1 / Page 3
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April 1, 1977 HIGH LIFE Page 3 Swimmers Capture Championship by Steve Theriot Raleigh (AP) - The North Carolina Senate justified its ban on many of the state’s high schools swimming programs by citing them as “an unnecessary drain” on their school’s budget. The ban was so widespread that it will, in effect, only sanction one school’s program. This school is Grimsley High School from Greensboro, the undefeated state champion. The Grimsley swim ming dynasty has lasted for the past 13 years. In fact, the state swimming championship has only existed for 13 years and the Whirlies have won the title every one of those years. In the past few years the Grimsley swimmers have begun competing against some of the major area colleges such as Duke, Carolina, and South Carolina. This has been in an attempt to lind suitable competition for the teams superior talent, a comotity that has been increasingly hard to find in other high school teams. The team’s performance in this years state championship meet exemplifies the schools domi- nence in the North Carolina aquatic scene. One way to illustrate lack of competitiveness among other high school teams is that if the scores of the second, third, fourth, and fifth place teams are combined the Whirlies would have still retained the title. In the same bill, on the recommendation of the Immigra tion Department, was a clause exiling Robert Bingham to the island of Sardinia in the Mediterranean Sea. The deport ment was the result of the sub-committee’s labeling of Bingham as an “undesireable Track Starts citizen.” It has been leaked but not confirmed that the decision was based on Bingham’s low IQ, repulsive personality, disgusting facial characteristics, and non existent athletic ability. It has been reported by a well informed source that contrary to popular belief John Grzeszczak will not fill-in for Telly Savalis in the next episode of Kojak. This rumor probably has in base in the national attention on Grzeszc- zak’s performance in the state meet in which he was party to three new records. These were in the 100 backstroke in a time of 55.1, in the 200 individual medley in a time of 1:56.4, and he was also a member of the 200 medley relay that set a new standard of 1:41.3. Rusty Lambe was the run away winner of this years “Rookie of the Year Award” because of his Save the coach! phenomenal immaturity and his pitiful swimming ability. Coach Sawyer has been heard to say that he wished Lambe would run away and possibly swim off Horseshoe Falls (Niagra Falls) without a barrel!. Lambe was victorious in two individual events as well as swimming the anchor leg of the record setting 400 free relay. The two events were the 200 freestyle and the 500 freestyle. He set a new record of 4:48 in the 500 freestyle event. Cox checks for athletes foot. Party Season Begins hy Charlie Brown “Party season has begun.” said the track team’s chief partier whose favorite quote is “When is the next trip to Virginia?” H....-raising will be added to this year’s meets as the team has many different troups of H...-raisers, and they all have different styles. They are the groups of shot-putters, other field events, distance runners, sprint ers and the girls track team. Shot-putters can be spotted or smelt by their distinctive breath and high calorie drink in one hand. Their leader is’known as the “White Elephant”, and he uses his snout to clean out breweries. White Elephant is Carolina bound. Dickbirds abound in the distance running set. These runners do it on the run or at least try. They are the people who believe in free enterprise as they brought the Mi«er Brewry to North Carolina tor just their personal needs. Ask any wilder than H... distance runner what a DICKBIRDS is. Girls are the best upper for Grimsleys’ sprinters who are led by an easily excited light-tanned sprinter. The sprinters love the looks of some of the girl sprinters including LEGS Walker and STYLE Alspaugh. The Knoxville and West Virginia track meets are greatly looked forward to as the sprinters can do their best sport, FOX hunting. Girls will make a track team, and hopefully they will make it to a parked car or on the track. But seriously, the girls are very good at stretching and the boys are very good at watching. The female track team likes the warm weather so they can show off their legs. Legs on girl runners are some of the best around, and that is a good reason to come to the meets. Now we go onto the coaches and a few comments about each. Coach Richard Smith .... Coach Whooten (Shaft) is who the girl’s like to show off for, and whose stopwatch the men would like to hide. Shot-putters are Coach Colson’s specialty, and all he tries to do is make sure they can stand in a circle while not falling over. Female Coach Lambert gives the hurdlers precise instructions and those include “Do some work please.” Head Coach Buzz Sawyer was known to have said that the track team will get new uniforms. But the only require ment is that they promise to lose as much as the football team and the 18 year old uniforms will go. The team knows it can combine winning and fun so look out world, the team is here. The Grimsley girls also performed phenomially in the state meet. Their third place finish was attained only because of the girls hard work and undenyable determination. The facet of their high finish that probably made the girls feel the best is that the third place finish placed them ahead of Page in the final standings. Page had defeated them twice in the regular season and had won the conference title at the Whirlies expense. Happenings Many people have wondered what has become of the seniors on this year’s basketball team. High Life' has learned the following acceptances of scholarships. ♦Hugh Elkins, after turning down scholarships to UCLA, Louisville, Marquette, and Duke, has accepted a scholarship to Rockingham Tech. ♦Mark Harris has been contacted by Dean Smith as a “possible” replacement for Phil Ford. ♦Rudy Yost has accepted a manager’s scholarship to Peace College. ♦Tony Bailey has given up basketball all together in order to become a mercenary in Zaire. ♦Gary Sue has turned down a scholarship to Stanford for a cottage at Malibu so that he can. check out the California chicks. ♦John Kobos, talented forward, will work for Boren-CIay Products, Pleasant Garden Divi sion. ♦David Bulla, who was cut from the Whirlies, has signed a six year no-cut contract with the Portland Trailblazers. The Hi-IQ Bowl by Billy Tsintzos Hello again, this is your friendly neighborhood Bench- warmer cornin’ at ya again with iome reading which is intended to be interesting as well as humorous, and if you say it isn’t, ■ then send me an autographed nicture of yourself to room 868 , nd I’ll think of nasty things to do 0 it. Well it’s good to be writing this again and so it’s on with the show. In my previous articles for this column, 1 took great pleasure in cutting athletes down, afterwards I took great measures to protect my body from injury. But now I offer a change, instead of writing about the physical stars. I’m gonna focus on the mental giants; my topic: The HI IQ Bowl. This event has a little twist to it, I have my own choices for the team, and here they are, captain Charles Boozle Jones, alias “Sped,” Hugh “Toothpick” Elkins, John “Rughead” Kobos, and of course the star of the team, the one and only, the incredible, if not deadly, must I tell you his name, yes I must...Geefer. With such a formidable team representing Grimsley, I feel it only necessary that we run over a few of the requirements to be a member of such an intellectual squad as this. First, of course, you must have a high IQ, high meaning above the limit designated at 40, but these men rise high above this mark as is evident in the effortless manner in which they spell their names correctly. Another requirement is that they are an inductee of Flashlight, the National Honor Society of SPEDS, which proves to one and all that their intellect surpasses that of a lightbulb. Now, lets run over the nembers and their individual qualifications, first there is the captain. Chuck Boozle Jones. He received a Ph.D. in the study of alcohol. Charles wlli continue his intense research in all aspects of alcoholic beverages and their affect upon the human body. You may possibly find him, even in his free time, attempting to unscrew the opening which may uncover the mystery within. The next member of the team is Hugh “Pic” Elkins. 1 myself believe that he will be the one to succeed in life, for he holds all the talents of becoming a financial wizard..“C’mon man gimme a quarter”...as he has a superior quality...“You know I’ll pay ya back”...for finding ways to earn and save money. He also is the mathematics major on the team as was proven on his SAT results where he scored an incredible 10 correct answers out of 663 possibilities which he boasts as highest on the team. The third member of this erudite squad is John, whatever, “rughead” or “Carpethead” Kobos. He distinguished himself as a brilliant athlete as well as a scholar in his performance during the basketball season when he scrubbed 13 jocks in record time. Finally we arrive at the last member of our squad, but this member reigns supreme over them all, as he received a Nobel Prize in his research in drugs...namely himself, must I tell you his name, yes I must...Geefer. The honorary member of the team is Grady Yourse, you remember him don’t ya, the Rhodes Scholar. He is considered so intelligent that the other teams voted him out of the competition due to his massive intellect. But after all, with the four brains mentioned above, his loss is hardly felt. Now all that remains is the tournament to begin. Two Weeks Later I regret to inform you that the HI IQ Bowl has been canceled. It seems that everyone in the studio were mysteriously killed as they had been struck down by some dangerous, incredibly toxic, extremely deadly, completely life consuming...drug. Only one person lived to tell about this tragedy as it seems he wasn’t even affected, must I tell you his name... FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS DRiut naiiHir t'S.WTAR’TSff^TCf■nLANSJX.iRIAnxIN NATK5NAL HSGHWAYISAJTK. S.Afcn'Al’«S»SlRATTON |
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1977, edition 1
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