Newspapers / The Carolina times. / Sept. 11, 1982, edition 1 / Page 15
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Frustration and fear of rejection are tormenting feelings. Most people who seek counseling are in . search of a person who is understanding; who is a ' good listenfr; and, most important, fho wfll listen to one's problems without criticism. -This last point is perhaps the most important point of all. Everyone has a constant fear that so- ' meone else will openly, or sec&tly, be amused at hisher very personal emotional needs and the behavior that results. There is a fear that the per- sonal emotional needs that one. has are so unusual or so abnormal that no one else experiences them, Therefore, it is felt that anyone hearing about them t will consider the victim to be "crazy" and not a good prospect for a friend. Few Deonle talk about their emotional nmhlm , and therefore have no idea that other "normal" people experience the same feelings. This is basical ly the reason that many people live in constant fear that their perceived "abnormality" will be , discovered. ' Coping- A Human Need ; " . By DrV Charles W. Faulkner ( - The fact is that much of the behavior which we 'attempt to hide, because we think no one else has ' such . behavior, is experienced . by - practically . everyone else. When we ascribe the behavior entire- ly to ourselves, we think that we are Abnormal and tend to become the very abnormal person we think we are.People who think that they are Abnormal tend to adopt the abnormal behavior that they think is consistent with their "unusual" personalities, r Most of us a simply crying out for compassion. We spend our lives trying to find someone who . understands us; trying to find someone who will sympathize with us; seeking someone who will be - compassionate and loving; searching for someone ; whp will put away hisher own emotional needs just -- for a second and give full understanding to our own motional needs. This search can become endless. The constant ;- fear of rejection rtf23bme such a controlling force in our lives that it consumes most of our time making it difficult to sleep, to thin normally and difficult for us to carry out our normal activities. ursssar. scrrtsn jit. isa-r-i :irur.-;j-tf t The search for someone to understand our pro ' blems and to love us in spite of our problems can ' actually drive an individual into a very incompatible : relationship. This ' point 1 is -easy - to prove. 'While you are downtown shopping, or in class at school cr just , i working at your dally job, go up to a stranger and ' introduce yourself. You can predict the response. : Initially, the other person might appear to be sbock : ed, next win come either a subdued response or a. I - failure to acknowledge you. The latter behavior b" f caused by the, her, person's fear of revealing hisher need to be accepted. In other words, the in dividual will be highly pleased that you spoke but. wttl not want you to know it. Make no mistake about it. everyone wana to be accepted and loved. Everyone. tmfc it but, some ; people have had so little love in their lives that they do not know how to respond to it. How do you respond when a stranger says, Hello?" iLettertol ' '. J the Editor. , . . . Hayti Redevelopment I would like to commend the 77nes for its ' newsworthy and in-depth coverage of the Hayti ! , redevelopment effort via last week's article, "Op- j , timism Wanes as Gty Contract Draws to a Close". ; to complement tms journalism, I would nice to : ' point out a few other factors concerning the Hayti project and the position of The Durham Business and Professional Chain along with the "relocatees" and the City of Durham. I. The CHAIN feels very optimistic about the prospects for Hayti. The relocatees have rightly re quested that reasonable actions be taken in assisting them to prepare for the permanent moves'. 2. The City of Durham has been very cooperative j and helpful in assisting the CHAIN to provide re- quired information for the relocatees. , i 3. The Hayti Development Corporation and The ! CHAIN are both supportive of working together and .with other organizations to see that develop ment occurs in Hayti that can best serve the com munity. To this end, these organizations have con sulted with each other and shdred planned develop-' ment activities for this area. Though it has taken years to achieve; The ; CHAIN sees a sincere desire of all parties involved to develop a positive working relationship to insure ihe revitalization of Hayti. It is easy for a community to sit, complain, and do nothing about its predicament. It is, however, very refreshing to see the Hayti community and the . City of Durham begin to come together to ac-! :' complish this much needed project. I think that the Durham community should value '- the in-depth coverage of Hayti and other important issues dealt with by this newspaper. It should also) value the efforts and current commitment of the Ci- ty of Durham in helping to insure the success of this' Hayti venture. The Durham Business and Profes sional Chain loolyi forward to doing its part'iiinelpiT irtg to develop an informed, intelligent community,! as well as a viable, growing Hayti. j Ervin l Allen, Jr., Executive Director; Durham Business and Professional Chain President's Advisory Group To Meet In Dallas WASHINGTON The President's Ad visory Council on Small ', and Minority Business Affairs will hold an open meeting with delegates to the NBL 82nd Annual Convention on Wednes day, September 1 5. Ac cording to NBL presi dent, Theodore R. Hagans, Jr., the meeting will take place at the Dallas Fairmont Hotel in Dallas, Texas, site of the National Business League's 88nd Annual Convention, September j 14-17. The Advisory. Council, appointed by President Reagan, is charged with the respon- j sibility of reviewing and i making recommenda- J tions on the federal i government's programs and efforts to assist small and minority business persons. Chaired by R: Miller Hicks, of Austin, Texas, the Council's member ship includes NBL board member, Dr. Lincoln . Ragsdale. On Friday afternoon, September 17, Associate Administrator for the U.S. Small Business Ad ministration, Dr. Robert L. Wright, will lead off the Annual Town Meeting, also open to the public, which will be devoted exclusively to the programs and ac tivities of the Small Business Administra tion. Dr. Wright, who has primary jurisdiction over SBA's minority (enterprise and capital) owners . development : programs, will be joined; ;by other representatives f SBA, including the ; general department. area I for: Finance and Invest- , . ment, Procurement, and ' (Technology, ; Manage I ment Assistance and Ad- Other highlights of the : i convention program In- I elude: The Inaugural ' j Conference . ' of the American Association of 1 Black. Wdmen En trepreneurs on September 14; an open ing night "western" style . Texas Bar-B-Que Recep- j lion, sponsored by Black Enterprise Magazine and Radio Station KNOK of Dallas; the second an nual Berkeley G. Burrell -Private Sector Awards Session, featuring Carl Ware, vice president. Coca-Cola, U.S.A.; a Special Session on Economic Development featuring Assistant Secretary for the U.S. Department of Com merce, Carlos C. Camp bell; the highly acclaim ed Certificate Institute Series and the Ninth An nual Conference of the National Student Business League, hosted by Bishop College, September 15-18. ' . In addition to eight workshops, two lun cheons and an excep tional awards banquet on September 17, the 82nd Assembly will ex-, plore strategies to build a more stable economic base in the black com munity to confront the growing problems and opportunities of the' eighties. . The National Business ; League, founded in 1900 by Booker T. Washington, is America's oldest na tional business organization,- and the largest association of blacks and other minorities engaged , in business. Its growing . membership can be' . found through : 120 chartered chapters in 37 states and the District of Columbia. Its incumbent president, Theodore R. Hagans, Jr., is only the eleventh person to head the 82-year-old institu tion. For additional in formation on the 82nd Annual Convention, contact NBL Head quarters . at: 4324 Georgia Avenue, N.W., Washington, D.C., .20011, or call (202) 1829-5900. I . ,t i ...... -i '. tt ftJ. MFVMM TOBACCO CO. UidJ LAS' u m m m w m w i m - .. m m m m. m m m mm i 7 O :0L L Share the spirit Share the refreshment Smooth mild Salem menthol. t Jo 0 i dfa$0 mist--' Nw jlJ f Jiif h i - AwL. 1 , !'f i -- - ' -) - 1 r few 'SJ4- Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. V KING: 15 mg. "tar", 11 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method 100& 15 mg."tar", 1.1 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report DEC Dl
Sept. 11, 1982, edition 1
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