Mar. 10, 1920
Dinner Stories j
Ik*—So your naa4S~hi Clanoey? Be
. Hye any relation to Tim Claneey?
fXancey— Veiry distant. I wuz me
first child and Tim was her
9 fie (after quartet)—l think our
Hipa are parallel, don’t you?”
■ Bhe—l don’t know. Why?
He—Because they never meet.
«■ Grocer (|o woman, who tias been
of the long wait)—Sor
lady, that ho many were before
What is it tou want? *
HWomin—Can you tell me how to
to Sixteenth street? 'V. -
don't you and he make up
your quarrel?”
Bl would like to. but I forget what
we quarreled about!” /
—Tour answer is as clear
I I^Hhident —Well, that covers the
dosen’t it?
•: Hi*. Teller—T!ie doctor snid itrs.
was run down; did vou hear
Bt it?
Asker—No; I saw her jfea-
BRny and she seemed to be in per
Bprs. Teller—So she was; yester
|'iß: but she yas run down by an
last night. '
jf^Bohen—Mine girl, she says if I
Wl cut oud tfiiis check-to-cheek
she vould bite mine nose.
>j^Bosenburg—l’.v fieorge. she said a
didn’t, yhe? »
(to man who .bus asked
Bl ot her daughter)—ln the first
do you like children?
—I adore them, madam !
J ’^Bother —Ah, that's lucky. Blanche
f JB three by her first husband.
( —T see that keen-length skirts
reduced street-oar accidents 50
; .■ jf;
g^Ratty—WoulcUi'f it he fine if acci-'
’Would be prevented entirely?
ftw days after a farmer had put
hggHttvo children in school a book
called on him and said: "Xow
BBt your children go to school yon
to buy them an encyclopedia."
u y theul an encyclopedia?)
if 1 do," was his reply. "Let
walk like I did.”
B -gr yySw • j@P|\
I L v '■‘■■iJrJmX
i Y wT _
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
WVOUR house, when painted with
* Marietta House Paints, Is pned
s cally guaranteed aeainSt the ravages of
foul weather by Ac Marietta'Service
UJRORA PflgTl Certificate. No other paint manufac
turer offers you such a certificate. As^
! ug about’it today.
I Concord Paint & Paper Company
M 8 N. Church Street ( Phone i6L
I MARirTTA >AINT STATtO~ j
h EVEREtT TRUE ’ ■ BY CONDO"
? gs§|g=
nr
'
- - r y
Cutest Things
I New York Daifr ttttror.
i—-■ g-’ y - r • •’ ' )'
Teqcher <ta Httl4 Coiortsl boy)—
Kastus, glv» iqe a Sehtinoe with the
word defeht to it.
Erastus—4>n hoy’s, shoes were so
torn dat <M feet stock out,
TeacHer; "Whege were you yester
day, Bipy<”
Billy s “t had the toothache.”
Teacher: “Ha? it stoppijtl?” ‘ * .
Billy: -I don't know.” x • v
Teacher: “Whnt do you mean, boy?,
Don't you know if yqur tooth has
stopped aching.”
Billy: “No, ma'am, the dentist kept
it.” ' ,
James — “What are those things on
the goat'? heads, mother?
Mother—Horns, dear.
James—Well, why don’t he blow
them ?
Two negresses rived id the same
house. One evening Diana, who lived
unstairs, upon hearing a noise, said:
“Who dat?”
Xan, who lived downstairs, said:
“Who dat dftt say ‘who dat’?”
Diana replied: ‘Who dat dat say
‘who dat’ when I Bay wbb dat?”
He (haV)ng just kissed her)—Ah!
That Van indeed a triump of mind
over matter!
She —Yes, I didn’t mind, because
you didn't .matter.
’Twas Ever Thus.
Winston-Salem Journal.
Mrs. Miriam Ferguson', CldVeriior of
Texns, has annnoneed her candidacy
for renomination and election. This
is interesting mainly because Mrs.
Fergusou. in her first campaign, said
she would want only one term. She
was running simpfywto vindicate the
name of her husband, who had been
impeached as Governor of‘Texas a
few years before.
Now Mrs. Ferguson says she finds
one term is hot suffiejent completely to
vindicate the name of Ferguson, She
thunks another will be necessary.
Probably at the eud of the second
she will find that a third term will be
required to finish the job to which
she has so zealously set her hand.
Some die. but few resign, and few
er Still retire from office so long as
they sec a good chance to hold on.
[ This has always been truy of the men,
| and it seems to be equally true of the
women.
*x£jtte& %{gjsZi
By CHARLES P. STEWART
NBA Service Writer
Old-Timers Earn Meal by Having
Phone 47 Years.
Washington, March 9.—These four
poor old Lynchburg Virginians have
been slaves to the telephone since
August 15, 1879.
have some other people, off and
on, but there are mighty few who
have been continuous subscribers, at
the same old stand, for nearly 47
years. March 10th will be the tele
phone's Doth birthday and the phone
folk are digging up their original cus
tomers and t conducting festivities in
their honor.’
A few days ago the Washington
phone company, which does long dis
tance business with this particular
quartet, gave them a lunchebn over
at Lynchburg.
/* * *
The Lynchburg exchange Started
with 24 subscribers including—
William' Hurt, publisher, now re
tired ; W. C. Gregory, real estate, al
»o retired, before real estate men be
came realtors, and ,the drug firm, in
business for 52 years and still at it,
of Lumsden & Hamner—C. H. Lurns
den and E. C. Hammer.
What’s more, Lumsden k Ham
ner keep the salne tclejAone number
today that they started with.
• • •
Hurt, Gregory and Lumsden &
Hamner thought they were doing
something pretty revolutionary when
they put those phones in.
If ttiey could but have known what
a pest they were going to become—
breaking in on ’em every time they
got to the most interesting part of a
ccnversation, interrupting ’em at
meals, waking ’em up at night, never
giving ’em any peace, any rest, any
privacy—would they have done it?
Sooner or inter, yes, of course.
They’d have had to.
THE GIRL WHO LAUGHS.
The girl who laughs—God bl?ss her!—
Thrice blessed herself the while
Xo music on earth
Has nobler worth
Than that which voices a sinile.
The girl who laughs—men love her:
She lifts from the heart of despair
Its burdens of woe.
And coaxes the glow
Os joy to the brow of enre.
The girl who loughs—life needs lier;
There is never ap hour so sad
But wages and ihrills
To the rippling trills
Os the laugh of a lass who's glad.
—JOHN HOWARD TODD.
lEisliF^“ =
~scturer
fYes. you will look up
and congratulate yourself
for having installed oqr
lighting fixtures . They
really render a sefvice of
I. ”■ two kinds. Primarily,
,'7'i they furnish you with ef
ficient light, and they are
Lj "Fixtures of Character”
W. J. UETHCGX
|3 W. Depot 5L Phone 06#
We keep at all
times complete
assortment of East
man Kodaks and
accessories.
—On Sale at—
Gibson Drug Store
• (Authorized
Agents)
Extra Nice
Mountain Honey
3 Pounds Net Weight Jar
° n{ y 95c '
It’s Fine W u
Cabarrus cash gro
cery co.
PHdNE STIW
P B.—Red Hm and Cobbler
Seed Potatoes and Garden
/ Sedd ' '
THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS
Yoos\-\ >— -v . ' i
wtssiß-ini’s \ /peach of a \ /m-m-fimeA
vmj-Z A MAW/FUV- PLACE"T’ LOAF \ , This i«5 S\\ I
- ■ LOTSA VMORv< T’ I COZIEST PLACE I VuHuT I
HEROES APE made -NOT BqRM omto me,
MOM’N POP . BY TAYLOR
Loretta i've hao an §£“ just a re solar uttle
ARCHITECT DRAW UP 10V£ M£S T TOR THE Cl lie
a Little OP mv-OREams oh OMiDMOND
BUNGALOW - HOUU JW \ LORETTA JUST SAV THE M °
DOES IT STttlUB 'SWTtJ / oO ( WORD AMO I'LL MAKE ® T<JP '”
jpgg'— ■ | the wocld^- —^
ID YOU C T HY DEAR Girl - worn Can you "X
SE HAD- 'T tICPECT To 85 HAPPV WITH HIM .f )
DO,that-) he CAMMOT provide XOOVWtTBA “S
BIR6AX>Y J f> LUXURIOUS HOME AMD Gh)E YUO 1
be 6 to j \ evervth/wGj your heart bESuegs T /
g FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR jr
OOOOCOOOOOOOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCXMXXXXIOOOOOOeC
g Let Us Insure the Life of Your
I Baby Chicks
I a>' By Feeding Them Startina and
| Baby Chic Chow
5 We have plenty on hand all the time. Also Chicken , \
fi Chowder and Hen Chow. Will give you more eggs. | i
I Cash Feed Store
| PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. ijl*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOQOOQCX3OOCOQOOOOOOO
Farmer! We Want Your Poultry. I
e paj’ cash and buy almost anything you raise on j§
i the farm. We are the Largest Poultry Dealers in the city, i
j '1 he Poultry Market is still active at 20c per pound for I
.j hens, but we cannot longer guarantee prices.
j Egg Market active at 25c per dozen. ■ ,
: Butter Market at 25c to 40c per p f ond, as to quality. BJ
| Bring us your Cream. We pay you 36c per pound, net, H
I per Butter Fat. li
C. Hi BARRIER & CO.
"gT^~:fr , inrirj!rtrjr'~'rrr'r r a n ;t. ua-,a u„ on j
XXTOCfOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOeOOOaOTOCCQOOOUOOOOGOOOOOOOO
DELCO LIGHT I
Light Plants and Batteries
j Deep and Shallow Well Pumps fob Direct or Alter- JL
J nating curtent and Washing Machines for’Direct or Al- 8
j ternating Current. Q
R. H. OWEN, Agent
II —Phone 669 Concord, I *N. C.
MOOOOCXIOCXIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCiOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOaOOOO^I
j r .| I). -|-r lij Ij I ; -x, .X.............. ... ...J ;
ROTTER BORING BAR S
| We liave installed a Hotter Boring Bar which enables us to re- B
| bo|, e yom - motor without removing the block from the frame, thereby I «
£ saving you pi-aetically one-third the cost of ordinary overhaul jobs. '■ *
ii We also have a Brake Lining Machine which drills and counter I
|P sings so tint the rivets never come in contact with the brake drum, al- (g
i] so riveting machine which uses sclid copper tabular rivets. Just ||
i: give us a trial and l>e convinced.
M RUSCO BRAKE LINING, PREST-O-LITE BATTERIES AND 1
“ ACCESSORIES
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
300Cfa000OQOQQQOOQQQQOfVaOC>CtOC>OOfttVXK>0Q000000C<>000^
I Refrigerators Refrigerators |
Just received a solid car load oEthe world famous Gur- 9
ney Refrigerators. Many different Sizes and styles to Q
clioose from. A price to meet every pocketbook. Come 8
in and see them today.
\\ e give ReeVes Tour Votes on all cash purchases and 8
500 per dollar on collections.
H. B. WILKINSON
Out of the High Rent District. Where Parking Space Is Plentiful X
and time unlimited. .
Concord Kannapolis, Moorcsville China Grove fi
EHot Water; j
This gas hot water heater
is surely a friend in need and
a friend indeed of every cook
match ahd in a few minutes
steammg hot water will run
Pays for itself quickly. y
E.B. GRADY
plUmbing and heating dealer
Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone S34W
PAGE SEVEN