Monday, March 22, 1026
Dinner Stories
“S»W-JT«r.” |
“Would you like an airbhip trip
for a honeymoon tour?’’
"No, there wouldn’t be any tun
nels.” ,
Smart Pupil.
Professor—When you examine pa
tients’ lungs with a microscope what
do you see?
Smart Pupil—The seat of his
pants.
Same Thing.
I Doctor—Are you married?
1 Much-bandaged Patient—No: I got
run down by an auto speed artist.
Reserved.
S Wife—Mr. Jones i« a most attrae
■ve man; is he married?
■ Husband—He’s a reserved Chap—
■peps all his troubles to himself!
One Way Traffic.
■lndignant Autoist (to man driving
Bkt car)—Here, you duffer; traffic
Bk way only here. Don't you know
■t?
Duffer—Well. I'm—hie—only
Bn’ v one way, ain’t I?
k? $ fo' & ~ .» ti 4 st.-: - i
■ No Secret..
Bold Man—You can put in your
■Bnpaper, young man. that my se-
Berof health is eatin’ lots of onions
Biry day.
■Reporter—What makes you refer
as a secret?
,i I V, . No Difference.
—Maggie, these eggs areas
as ever. I thought I told you
them soft?
—Sure an’ I biled them five
this time, mum, but it didn't
to make no difference.
k Wculd Shatter Faith.
would you feel,” asked
Sapleigh, “if you were to re-
Hre me for a Christmas gift?”
KWell.” answered the fair girl, “it
would sliatter my faith jn
Claus.”
Bp Bound by Honor.
Walker —No, ma’am, I ain't
from choice. I’m bound by
I wrote a testimonial for a
once an’ promised to use
other.
■Mrs. Housekeeper—Well, why do
B>u not use that?
■ Weary Walker—Because, ma'am.
Hat firm failed about five years ago.
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
sip A.i»*■ house, when painted with
/ <lAl”)[{[?[k * Marietta House Paints, is pracd
\ ffj / cally guaranteed against the ravages of
Xft eJ sou! weather by the Marietta Service
mpQßjTpxjl Certificate. No other paint manufac
turer offers you such a certificate. Ask
*** >hout it today.
Concord Paint & Paper Company
342 N. Church Street Phone 16L
MARIETTA PAINT SERVICE STATION
EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO
tie-v. tve-efe-xr" 1-1 I HAvcs to nakca 1
Tests ;
t
t\oc.i> on A MIMUT& —Tee-H&fe-—1
IT *
1 COULDN'T ' .**
AT 30CH CGO's.e | '(f —yp_\ -
~~ 'iWr~ flj
Lci-rs as ue» w**t \q- jo
Embarrassing: Moments
New York Daily Mirror.
I had an important business prop
osition whose success depended upon
bow I presented it before a certain
body of influential business men.
Naturally, I wanted to make a good
impression.
I launched into my subject with ev
ery confidence that I would win. I
was thoroughly acquainted with every
phase of the proposition and. wi/ a
good talker.
I could see from the expression on
the faces of several of the men that
my remarks were being favorably ac-.
cepted. Thus encouraged, I waxed
warmer as I proceeded to present the
most important issue. * * Crash!
What was that? My false te.eth hud
fallen with a clatter upon the polished
surface of the table before which I
stood. I was facing my, audience
toothless.
It was a horrible moment. Only
my keen sense of humor saved the sit
uation. Nevertheless, if there had
been n hole in the floor, I certainly
would have stepped into it and most
likely been falling yet.
Silk Stocking Coupon Craze.
Monroe Enquirer.
The Silk Stocking coupon craze has
at last reached Monroe. The plan is
to purchase a coupon for*one dollar,
sell three other coupons to neighbors
or friends, “and receive a five-dollar
pair of hose,” after said neighbors or
friends have purchased one and sold
three other coupons to neighbors or
friends—on and on ad infinitum.
Looks as if some of these self-same
Monroe ladies who get into the game
at the eleventh hour are going to be
left with the bag to hold. And if they
are going to depend upon the coupon
scheme for their hosiery needs this
summer they will have nothing to roll.
Impossible.
“Henry, it’s raining cats and dogs
We must lend Mrs. Whitaker an um
brella or she will get drenched going
home.”
“My dear, it’s impossible. The on
ly umbrella we’ve got has her hus
band’s name engraved on it."
•lark Knew His Business.
“I cannot understand, Jack, why
you always sit on the piano stool
when we have company. Every one
knows you cannot play a note"
"I'm well aware of it. dear. Neith
er can anybody c’.sc when I am sit
ting there.”
Governor Ritchie Favors Dry Law
Modification.
BY CHARLES P. STEWART
NEA Service Writer
Washington. March 22.—1 n the be
lief that Governor Albert C. Ritchie,
of Maryland, is due to figure increas-
I ingly in the news -for some time to
come, I chased over to Baltimore the
other day to find out for myself how
he looks, talks and behaves, gener
ally.
He does all three admirably.
Governor Ritchie, in short, 'has a
charming personality. He’s a big
man physically, he obviously has
brains aiukhe's a gentleman all over,
[ somewhat of the southern type. •
• * •
It was a tradition, prior to Rit
chie’s regime, that governors of Mary
land had only- one term apiece.
, Ritchie's had two and now he be
speaks a third. It’s his for the ask
ing. on Maryland's ( part. This speaks
well, and correctly, for his guberna
torial records.
* * *
(Governor Ritchie is best known as
a wet.
Well, he is in favor of modifying
the Volstead law, but not, he says,
because he's wet. He's in favor of
it because lie thinks the cause of tem
perance was gaining ground up to the
time prohibition was enacted, and. in
his opinion, absolute prohibition gave
it a bad setback, and since then
things have been getting worse and
worse.
He wants modification, not as a
wet measure, but an a temperance
one.
* * *
However, his advocacy of prohibi
tion modification is only incidental
to his main issue, which is—
State rights.
Gastonia Preacher Is Author of a
New Play.
Gastonia, March 20.—Rev. Forrest
J. Prettyman, D. D.. pastor of Main
Street Methodist Church here and
former United States Senate chap
lain, has entered the role of play
wright, his Intest contribution being
“The Pilgrim’’ which tells the story
of a superannuate Methodist minis
ter and his wife, tending to solve
their problems of a homeless age by
means of the superannuate endow
ment fund recently established by the
church.
The Chapel Hill Weekly, speaking
of the rift in the Democratic party
over the prohibition issue, * says,
“Nothing short of a miracle can beat
the Republicans in 1928.”
More than two-thirds of all the re
tail pharmacies in Denmark. arc own
ed by the government.
liPsir
gpi
For each man and woman,
friend and neighbor
I’m A. Live Wire, the labor
saver. .
Tin the snappy, full of pep chap
who lifts the gloom from homes that
needed to get acquainted with the
wonderful blessing known as electric
ity. I light up your rooms and halls,
sweep your carpets and run your sew
ing machines, heat your homes and
light up everybody's pathway ill life.
£jecklcaf&i
JUvcW^te^
W. J.HETHCQX
3HONC 669-16 Sf DEPOT ST. CONCORD. N i
GARDEN SEED
3c
Package
Gibson Drug Store
(Authorized
Agents)
FOOD FOR
Every Family
Don't- worry about ypur
meals; just phone us. We can
supply you in Groceries,
Fresh Fruits and Vegetables,
and in Canned Goods. We can
suit any family, large or small,
for we carry three sizes (Num
ber 1, 2 and 3 cans) 1
Sanitary Grocery
Company
THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
This’ll Slow Him Up Some
OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS
1
Bo ’ r \=rf AMS' OF VOU
fffflfn A . get aw of
OAKIOV OL yf VOO L-l
IlfllP? MA ' SAV _ QOmT GET f HOH NOf\ ( 'i\<\
ymmy ma,i g\T lour of were, i get-tw \
VffiVW//.- -TV D\SHT \TUL INA THRU.’ DISH T-US VKAPvtii-rU \
Wmt ootwr -i TISEI I.
\l LICKED TH MOOR HlP
wyy/f VoosiTi ma ? /m§HS>w Km ' fe LAsr Mo °
VJHW MOTHER’S GRAW - . J.^lLams,
L,-_„ OC mA .NNEKi VA WANT SuMPkJ . , eumnm ' _
MOM’N POP BY TAYLOR
H NECKT.ES? MV V6S-
Since the latest stales from. LT l i ovo much omlv A Piffl
L HIS PARIS- VIHW OOHBM OVJft F °J? ‘/ff BOC-kl
SfcLESMAKi LEFT FRAHCE ° WE ? jltoi
- [ 'vOVtrt THIS NECKWEAR fUE JT
C-RltD LlVde BABIES/' < \ j \
V VOT’S D'MATTA? HOW SHOULD I '
j 2 . MEESTER GUNN VOS ALL I
ft I ~ \ 7 A A BOOT CUSTOMER W SAIOWAS-ONLV
. ' 1 . .i: i’.
Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that g
r ou get the yellow checkered Bag I
and then you will know that you ;
have got the original Starting to I
, feed your baby chix on.
i Cash Feed Store
PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaooooooooooooooooe
a>»ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo6oono
FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR |
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XIOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOGOOOOOOOOOOOCGOOOOOOOOOGOOOOOQOi
DELCO LIGHT
Light Plants and Batteries
Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter
nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al
ternating Current. . '
R. H. OWEN, Agent
—Phone 669 Concord, N. C.
OPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooQoooooQoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOdH
BATTERIES
(
Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and
Chevrolcts
PREST-O-LITE $15.50
COLUMBIA ... $11.95
Compare These Price?.
REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS
PHONE 228
(Studebaker Sales and Service)
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
I
- 7
| Refrigerators
i With the coming of Spring we will have warm weath- Ijj
| er and you will need a Refrigerator. Let it be a Gurney. •
| We have just unloaded a car load and have them from 8
i 50 lb. to 150 lb. capacity. In White Enameled or Porcelain* X
i lined. In buying a solid car we got the best price possi- g
f hie. Therefore you want to get our prices before you»|
; buy. If you buy a GURNEY you will be satisfied.
H. a WILKINSON
| Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful i !
, and time unlimited.
i Concord Kannapolis, Mnoresville China Grove [
iOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW 1
Hot Water
"Jp 1 If is surely a friend in need and
Yj| | a friend indeed of every cook
;j, if" I match and in a few minutes
I steaming hot water will run
Pays for itself quickly.
E.B. GRADY
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W
an mwd
THE DAILY TRIBUNE
AND
THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER
BOTH ONE YEAH AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES:
In State outside Concord $5.25
The Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and ita
price is SI.OO a year. t:
You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you ''
pay for The Tribune. We \\sll get it for you a whole year at any time
on payment of only 25 eents.
Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, tut
come to The Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farmer.
PAGE SEVEN