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Athletic Notes
ii . .. . . . .
" The glorious weather that has
for the past week been gladdening
our hearts ha3 played hob with the
baseball- and track activities, as
perhaps everybody has been able to
see.. The only kind of amusement
that has seemed to nourish is Gym
work, and set-back in large doses.
The fact that the. Gym drill will
gradually, be lengthened until it
lasts for half an hour is causing
the spirit of terror to arise in the
minds of the class of 1920,. who
are forced by what the professors
call an. external influence to take
an active part in them.
The gentlemen who are accus
tomed to go in the Gym and im
peril the lives of earnest workers
by hurling the medicine balls to
and fro, mostly to, will have their
respective evercise Huffs called,
and there are indications that there
will be anything but full houses
during the prosecution of hostili
ties.
There seems at last to be some
reason for having sub-assistant
managers for a team, for the track
seems to be a good place for ex
ercising managerial powers, the
object being to manage a rake, for
instance. Plautus (or was it
Bryan) says somewhere that pull
ing a rake is an excellent thing for
the figure. Locally we might say
that it is a good thing for the
track. Some of the track men, es
pecially the distance runners, say
they are afraid of growing webbed
feet. Be that as it may, there is
no need-of filling the pool as long
as the far side of the oval remains
undrained. -
Speaking of the pool reminds us
of the fact that there are prepara
tions under way to give it a com
plexion massage and a coat or two
of new-skin in the form of white
enamel. The electrician, at the
peril of his life, has strung a wire
and bulb and various other aids to
vision over the pool, and it is ex
tremely probable that we will soon
be splashing about like porpoises
or taking "busters" for the amuse
ment of more experienced onlook
ers and to our discomfiture. Swim
ming is to be one of the events for
the class athletic cup. That can
hardly add more to the crowd that
usually uses the pool, for it is
pretty popular already.
The Gym Squad is already get
ting into shape for the Spring try
out to be held in April. Thie
stunts are being illustrated on the
various pieces. of apparatus. Haw
kins, Travis Ravenel, Keiidahl
man, Hobbs, and Holloway will be
the principal men trying for mono
grams this year. Eavenel and
Rendahlman missed out last year
by a hair. Ravenel in particular
has been showing fine form so far,
while Dave's pushups are the mar
vels of the squad.
Friends on the Hill have re
ceived announcement of the mar
riage in April of Mr. Fred H.
Deaton and Miss Elizabeth Sher
rill, of Statesville.
"Which do you prefer, my dear,
a little claret or some champagne ?"
' VI think I prefer champagne,
George. And, besides, we really
ought to do all we can for France."
Life.
"Hymn book flirtation, making
love by means of titles of hymns,
which the preacher pounds away
on less interesting subjects, has
been revived in Paris," says the
Mercury. The boy turns to a sug
gestive title and the girl in reply
turns to one she thinks a suitable
answer. To observers they are
merely turning the leaves of the
hymnal, but a really interesting
courtship is going on. Here is a
last Sunday night's flirtation as
submitted to the Mercury :
Boy I love to tell the story.
Girl Tell it today.
Boy Faint, yet still pursuing.
Girl Come unto me.
Boy The half has never yet
been told.
Girl It must be told.
Boy 'Tis love, wonderful love.
Girl Is it for me ?
Boy Are you ready ?
Girl In expectation sweet.
Boy I need thee every hour.
Girl I long to be there.
Boy More love to thee.
Girl Blessed assurance.
Boy Abide with me.
Girl Do something today.
Boy The bridegroom comes.
Girl Glory hallelujah. ,
Boy Beautiful robes.
Girl Be still. Kansas City
Star.
Down Senior Way
As you sow, so shall you reap.
A bad start, a good finish.
Life.
A stitch in time saves nine.-
Wise rats desert a sinking ship.
SCINTILLATING SENIOR STUN1
SIZZLING SALOMAIC
SCENE 2:10 A. M.
Salome, serpentine sibyl, sag
shero, scarcely sober, stealthiH
seeks slumber. Such scurrilou:
scandal ! She sheds slippers ;
seeks slippery stairs. Slips! Sees
stars)! Stops suspiciously. 'So
crates snores serenely. Strange
sounds somewhere. She suddenly
starts, staggeringly. Stumbles
shatters sculptured Sappho sufr
mounting stairpost. Suffering
saints! She smashes skull, sings
Sunday school songs, swears some
thing scandalous ! Socrates startl
ed! Shrill shrieks "Salome!"
Sphinxesque silence. Second
shrieks "Say Sally !" Salome
still speechless. Soc's sox strike
stairs softly. "Speak Sal, sob
er?" She's scared stiff. Seeks
shelter. Suddenly spies stealths
sleuth stealing silver.
"Stop, sir," screams Salome
shuddering, shivering.
"Scat," says sneaker, showing
shining six-shooter.
Soc spies sneaker, shrieks So
matically, superhumanly, "Shant
shoot Sal. Shoo!"
Sal shakes serpentine shimmer
ing skirts, seeking stiletto !
Sneaker snickers sardonically.
Socrates swoons.
Salome startled, seizes stiletto.
Sneaker suddenly skiddoos.
'Stounding shero!
Such stories simply start su
premely, superbly shocking Sa
lome! Selah.
(Audience) s-s-s-st?
(Apologies to the Times.)
ONLY A "RING-OFF" ,
"Auntie, did you ever get a
proposal?"
"Once, dear. A gentleman ask
ed me to marry him over the tele
phone,' but he had the wrong num
ber." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"What is the charge against this
man?"
"Dressing up in woman's clo
thes, your honor."
"Discharged! He's been pupr
nished enough."
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