The daily Tar Heel. (Chapel Hill, N.C.) 1946-current, March 20, 1989, Page 11, Image 11
The Daily Tar HeelMonday, March 20, 198911 Opinion Date rape proposal favors I he proposed amendments to the Code of Student Conduct 'JLL concerning date rape are both detrimental and dangerous to the student judicial system at the University of North Carolina. "What differentiates the new amendment from the existing provi sions of the Instrument of Student Justice is the "closed trial" clause found in section V.B.l.b. of the proposal. That clause in the Instru ment presently reads that all hearings shall be closed except at the "written request of the defendant and subject to the Chairman's performance of the duties imposed upon him." The proposal would add that in cases involving sexual offenses the hearing Diary of one revolirtioftairy The Millie Tapes Seriously. it's awful," President Bush complained today. Mrs. Bush told him this morning that he would be evicted from their White House bedroom tonight because their dog. Millie, was about to have puppies and was making too much noise. "Can I tell you what Barbara told me over the phone?" sighed the President aboard Air Force One as he returned to Washington after an overnight stay in Colorado Springs. "She said. 'Tonight, you're in the Lincoln bed alone. 'As the President recalled it, he asked. "Well, why?" " Well. Millie had a very bad night last night, thrashing around, and you would be irritable, " Mrs. Bush replied. Mr. Bush told reporters, "So Vm being sent down the hall which just suits the heck out of me. " Note: the following passages are not designed to shock you, but to inform you of the grave dangers to freedom that the global communist conspiracy poses to the United States of America. The White House today released the secret tapes of former First Pet Millie. Bush today, casting light on the scandal that. rocked the nation almost 25 years ago. Originally found in the White House bedroom, these tapes were carefullv concealed in the First Pet's Bring back for one, had a rewarding SDrine break. During those Ji glorious days of freedom from the dailv Chapel Hill grind, some thing wonderful hit the newsstands the March edition ot bports Illustrated. The cover is definitely the best one they've had in months. Who better illustrates the ultimate athlete than Michael Jordan? And inside there are all kinds of interesting articles on the Stanley Cup playoffs, drought's destruc tion of western wildlife and tennis virtuoso Andre Agassi. ' The bottom line, ol course, is that the presence of the March issue means the absence of the February issue. Michael Jordan has replaced Kathy Ireland in supermarkets, drug stores and newsstands everywhere. What a relief. It's not that I have anything against Kathy personally; I'm sure she's a very sweet person. That was . certainly my impression after I saw an interview with her on Enter tainment Tonight. In her sweet voice (1 know, she was born with that voice. Just like she was born with that body, that face, that hair. . .) she told us that yes, it does make her a little uncomfort able, having all those people eney, " We found nothing in the financial report, nothing in the FBI report, nothing in our questioning of him that would in any way interfere with his ability to be secretary of defense. He certainly has my support. " Sen. Sam Nunn, D-Ga., on the Senate Armed Services Committee's exam ination of nominee Dick Cheney. Rep. Cheney was approved as defense secretary by the full Senate Friday. BOB -."Buy! Buy! Don't believe the gringos' lies!" Chant of a Santiago street vendor trying to sell his grapes after the United States imposed a ban on Chilean fruit because traces of cyanide were found on seedless red grapes. B B B "This is the Potomac Fever approach. It doesn't make any sense at all. There's no national drug Ch Chile, Bill Stallings Guest Writer will be automatically closed if the alleged victim requests so in writing. The logic behind this proposal is sound. Too many times in the past, victims of rape have been afraid to come forward with their accusations because of the trauma associated with a public trial. They should not be forced to talk about an extremely personal event such as their attack in front of a cold and harsh audience. A closed hearing would make the process easier for the victim to bear David Ball Guest Writer so-called "Maternity Suite" beneath some shredded newspaper and next to two Milkbone voodoo dolls of the president and first lady. Here are some excerpts from the tapes, giving insight into the dastardly mind of a dog the press once cajled "Marx's best friend." March 17, 1989: Plan is going quite well, as Mr. B. has now been ousted from the bedroom and I have been allowed to take over. Mrs. B. bought the thrashing act and, after a violent argument with her husband, banished him to another bedroom. She's convinced I'm pregnant, calling my charade "Millie's little version of labor pains." Once this plan goes through shell pay for those diminui tive, degrading comments, by Stalin! Phase One dislocation is now complete. Now to crack the code of the Oval Office's doggie door. March 18, 1989: Could hardly sleep last night, what with "Gosh darn" and "Oh heck, Mommy" flying every where. Mrs. Bush almost relented. had to flop for about five minutes before she made up her mind. Tried to sneak into the Oval Office today, but was unsuccessful. Heard party the sports M. J. Dunnington Editorial Page Editor staring at her as she poses for shots like those in the swimsuit issue. But she assured us that she's nearsighted, and so the staring doesn't turn out to be such a problem after all. Speaking of staring, a friend of mine went to Florida for break, and she noticed one young sun worshipper in the suit that Christie . Brinkley modelled. You remember, the see-through one with strategically placed flowers? I'm just glad the helpful fashion commentary wasn't wasted on all the men who can look at the swimsuit issue without even notic ing the suits. Although only 3 million or so people will buy the March issue (as opposed to the 40 million who buy the February issue), I'm sure they will find it highly entertaining and enlightening. After all, it's filled from cover to cover with sports. And what else could Sports Illustrated possibly be all about? Mary Jo Dunnington is a sophomore history major from Winston-Salem. czars Week in Quotes strategy that I've ever seen in which Washington has been shown to be a source of the problem. . . . What's happening on the streets of Washing ton that 's the end of the pipeline. " A senior law enforcement official, speaking on federal "drug czar" William Bennett's plan to target Washington, D.C. as his first "test case" in the war on drugs. DOB " We can 't have people killed and blood running in the streets like some Third World capital run by a despot. " Sen. Warren Rudman, R-N.H., during a hearing of the Senate Appropriations Committee. He called for legislation demanding federal control of the District of Columbia's police force. ODD and and will encourage those victims who might have been reticent to press charges to do so. The problem, though, deals with the student court's relationship to the civil and criminal courts of the larger community. Even though the Student Attorney General has stated that he would steer victims to the criminal courts before taking action, the possibility still exists that the student courts would be the only avenue taken by the victim if she decided to ignore the criminal courts. The attractiveness of the "closed hearing" and the guaranteed secrecy of the proceedings serve as great entice ments. We would therefore be prom oting the student judicial system's noises inside will investigate tomorrow. March 19, 1989: Got new paper last night and spent this morning trying to piece together some shredded documents. Haven't gotten much on the party, but one memo made reference to "booze, babes, and bombs: a farewell party for our favorite Texan and defense contrac tor." Rummaged through the trash and found what might be a related clue: a pair of "I got nuked at the White House" boxer shorts with the initials "JT" written on the waistband in permanent marker. Doesn't appear to be scandalous enough for impeach ment. Must go through with original plan. Mrs. B. and her husband still aren't speaking. Am starting to thrash for real now haven't got much time left on the inside. March 20, 1989: Managed to steal the doggie door keys today during a photo session with Mr. B., who is, once again, facing pressure from the right. Had to stand in a hunting-dog pose while he fired an M-16 at some cows to prove that he was a strong, macho, outdoorsy-gun-rack-hunter type. Mr. B. seems angry with me, and I fear I will be kicked out before my mission is. completed. He men- tioned something about canine preg- nancy being exempt from the moral restraints of abortion. Sneaked into the Oyal Office and put a chew-toy bug in the trashcan. Phase Three PETA's concerns valid, reasonable WE , a new idea is presented, non-thinker reacts by 'misinterpreting" the con cept, then ridiculing it. The thinker, epitomized by Charles Kingleys famous words, is "prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abysses nature leads, or (you shall) learn nothing." A scoundrel goes one step further and deliberately misstates his oppo nent's position. Robert Slugg's letter (DTH, Feb. 1) is a good example of how when no legitimate arguments exist to sustain a position, the lie can . be used to try and frighten the listener. Slugg's wild distortions would be amusing if they didn't involve asking people to cling to prejudices that result in pain and death to sentient creatures. Ironically, he claims, by pointing to a commercial cartoon (that has never been distributed by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), that animal rights advo cates want animals to be treated like "miniature humans." (The word "miniature" is very telling of Slugg's own condescending attitude toward animal life. Horses, cows, elephants, whales, gorillas and many other churches "The white church has, in effect, repudiated its confession of guilt in creating, maintaining and justifying apartheid." The Rev. Allan Boesak, head of the mixed-race Dutch Reformed Mission Church in South Africa, on the white branch of the church's qualification of its earlier denunciation of apartheid. "The NRA still maintains the AK 47 is a sportsman's gun. They came out with a dramatic announcement today. Guns don 't kill people. Grapes kill people." Comedian Johnny Carson, in a monologue on the National Rifle Association following the U.S. government ban on imports of semi-automatic assualt rifles. Compiled by editor Sharon Kebschull. stadeot By changing the rules . ... . we are making the student judicial system the "court of choice." administration and enforcement processes over the civil and criminal law community's. Where does the danger exist? After all, the student court system handles many different types of offenses that are also offenses in criminal courts. Stealing from the Student Stores, forgery, assault or trespassing are all offenses which can be heard in both judicial systems. The important difference in the rape amendment is information gathering can now begin. March 2 1 , 1989: Paydirt! Am ready to go public after only one day of surveillance, but am having to fight real labor pain now. Mr. B. had a meeting with a prominent t airline -executive today at 1300 hours. Said, "Hey, the executive branch is sworn to uphold the interests of big business. Golly, it's almost in the constitution. Frank, don't worry well handle Ingrid Newkirk Guest Writer species are physically larger than hnmn ctdiVmc so one surmises that . , Slugg is really referring to them as intellectual dwarfs.) Supremacist arguments based on intelligence are doomed to failure. In an earlier battle against exploitation and prejudice, Thomas Jefferson, who opposed slavery but believed Negroes less intelligent, wrote "what- ever their degree of talent it is no measure of their rights. Because Sir Isaac Newton was superior to others in understanding, he was not there- fore the lord of the property or person of others." The same point was made by the African-American libcrationist Sojourner Truth, who asked what intellect had to do with denying a woman's right to be more than chattel. Said Ms. Truth, "If my cup won't hold a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half-measure full?" coy fits over civil that by changing the rules to allow for an emotionally easier trial for the victim, we are making the student judicial system the "court of choice." The accused is unfairly injured by this action. Because all student records are subject to subpoena by a criminal court, most legal counsel would advise an accused student, regardless of guilt or innocence, to remain silent throughout the entire student judicial proceeding. The risk this sjtuation the same way we handled Hoffa." When this gets out, Dan Quayle is as good as president. My mission is almost complete." These tapes reveal the frightening truth of what might have been, were it nqtrforr the generosity of the president and his wife. Wanting to spare Millie; "the stretch-mark hell I've gone through," Mrs. Bush insisted that Millie become the first dog to get a Caesarean section. This Such criterion as intelligence is as arbitrary as skin color or sex in determining rights. One might as well choose ability to function in a complex ecosphere. Using that gauge, raccoons, mice, monkeys and bees would leave Slugg face down in the mud. They dont need pop-top bot tles, garbage disposals, pre-fab lies, gaiuagc uiapusais, piw-tu homes tractor-trailer deliveries. refrigeration, cars or supermarkets to feed themselves and their families, huild and maintain living quarters and raise families. As Jeremy Ben- tham put it in jygo number of legs the viuosity of the skin, or the termination of the os sacrum, are reasons equally insufficient for aban- donmg a sensitive being ... the question is not 'can they reason?' nor ' can they talkr but 'can they suffer?' . The animal rights movement is working to stop base and robotic human behavior and to make people think about their relationship with other living beings. While not exactly like us, animals of all kinds want to live and enjoy life. They have worth beyond their value to our species They are individuals who, while not human, love, play, fight death, get lonely, communicate and play a role of not stating one's defense and therefore accepting expulsion pales in comparison to a 40-year to life sentence because something was said in the Honor Court that shouldn't have been. Rape is one of the most traumatic and dangerous crimes that could occur on a college campus. While action by the University is approp riate to punish the crime, the skewing of the judicial system to favor student courts over established criminal courts is wrong. This policy needs to be more thoroughly examined before it is approved by the Chancellor. Bill Stallings is a sophomore undecided major from Fairfield, Conn. traitor died on the operation table. As a gesture of good will, the kind, gentle man we once affectionately called "President Poppy" sent the litter of puppies to Iran, who, in turn, sent back the Reagan-autographed Bibles they received during the lran Contra scandal. . David Ball is a freshman history major from Atlanta. , on the planet which we may not even understand. Yes, Robert Slugg, learning to respect other animals would mean no "cheeseburgers, leather basketballs and milk." Two out of three will give you heart disease anyway. What, no animal-based vaccines? Absolutely! They are responsible for side effects, including anaphylactic shock and even death conditions we are now spared thanks to modern synthetic and human diploid vaccines. As for Slugg's libelous remarks about PET A, our attorney is now in touch with him. I will simply say we work hard and have nothing personal to gain by trying to make the world a more tolerant and decent place for all its inhabitants. Slugg may resist change and his career may be threa tened by social evolution, but his voice will soon be drowned out by the rising tide of concern for what we are doing to animals in the labs, in the factory farms and on the trapliries. Ingrid Newkirk is the national director of PET A in Washington, D.C.