pj-gH On the"
M Funny
/J%% Side
wj'
SUCH IS FAME
Bernard Shaw was hurrying to Eustace
Miles' restaurant one day when
he heard an interesting bit of talk betind
him.
"See that bloke?"
i "Old red whiskers? 'Oo is 'el*
"Shaw."
"Shaw?"
"The great vegetarian eater."
"Go on I"
"Fact."
NO MATCH FOR HER
A -r
w I ?
Ik? /
Conductor?Do you know this is the
smoking car. Miss?
Flap (producing cigarette)?Certain.
ly?have you a match for me?
< Conductor?No, Miss, I think not.
?k?:
The G. H.
The ground hog, from my very heart,
I speak of In regret
In real work he plays no part
And never makes a pet
A Noisy Name
Mrs. Johnsing?Ah thought you-ail
said you wah gwine to name your new
v baby Victrola, but Ah hears you-ail
done make a change.
Mrs. Moses?Yes, Ah expected it
would be a girl an' Ah had decided to
name her Victrola, but she turned out
to be a boy, so Ah done name him
^ Radio.?Christian Advocate.
Dear Little Bluebelle
"Darling," asked mother, "why must
jrou remain at a dance until three in
the morning?"
"Well, you see, mother," explained
Bluebelle patiently, "we didn't start
the dance until eleven."
"Couldn't vou start at eight?"
"I don't suppose anybody ever
thought of that."
THE POUTED PIGEON
Swrrfts
"Look, Bill, that fellow must have
(wallowed a toy balloon!"
Casual Observation
Investigations bring
A at&ta of mind intense?
Yet ?eldom ?how a thing
That makes much difference.
Careful Barber
Til have a shave but no tonic or
shampoo or singe or shoe shine."
"Yes, sir; may I use a towel on you.
sir?"
She Meant It
"I will find means to make you love
me!"
"If you have means, I will love you!"
?Klelnes Wlt2blatt, Vienna.
Last Chance for Economy
"There's only one way to save, dear."
"What's that?"
"Move over to my father's house."
Nearly
'er? Sprechen sle Deutsch?
Im?Huh?
'er (repeating slowly and distinctly)
?Bprechen sle Deutsch?
"I don't grasp the point"
"I say, do you speak German?"
"Oh, sure, sure!"?Cornell Widow.
Strategy
"What became of that widow with
the teething child?"
"She's all rlgbt She married a
floorwalker.?The Progressive Qrocer.
Just as Bad
Jones?I didn't sleep a wink all
night I had an awful toothache.
Smith?Ah, you should try repeating
to yourself, fifty times every day.
"Get behind me, pain!"
Jones?Nothing doing. Do you think
I want lumbago?
Historic
AMinlkntoa T hotrn hoM on naltvlnnl
VVUUiuuivr a uuiv um vii^tuai
Joke which I?
Editor?My dear man, yon don't look
that old.?Columbia Jester.
, How He Knew
"And all at once I stepped right
on a big rattlesnake," he began.
"How did you knoyr It was a rattlesnake,
Jimmy?" asked his father.
"I could hear Its teeth chattering
b . the minute it saw me.''
r\ Doesn't Follow
"You must be happy, having all the
money you want"
"That's queer logic. Is a man necessarily
healthy beosa? u. all
be wants to eat?"
;
V ' ^ : ~.BILL
SAM'S DICTIONARY
Jgltnt
By J. L. MARTIN
Bee Little, who takes up with every
new thing that comes along, Is about
to go crazy again over a newfangled
religion he has picked up somewhere.
Bee says that he is afraid that every
neighbor he has will be lost because
they are too indifferent to listen to
reason.
INDIFFERENT: Said of a fellow
who does not manifest any apparent
concern In some other fellow's pet
hobby. Bill Sum's Dictionary, page
503.
!T PAYS TO ADVERTISE
The Steady Advertiser Is making his
Dally Trip to the Bank with the Day'a
Haul. He is Loaded Down but he
J -*- Ci Ort 1- nAnra If
UUtfbli I OCtlll LU iUlUU. UC ftuung *k
Pays To Advertise and couldn't do
without The Paper any more than The
Paper could do without him. He never
complains about Business being Dull.
, TURN ME OVER
-y^^nq~\j-g^yA^
jlSp jfut {orfunt, -titHy u id
Z/yourwifbwould dit irv 7
X
THE CHLERFU. CHEM)
ommmmmmmmmmm?mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmw
lt> ?M?ry porx*v? dvty
To look Ki? v%ry b%?t
% wK-vt Ht?wr%
yov
Arvd "try to do tk%.
r%?t.
irm
MUST HAVE LOST
He?Mv first wife msrripd me tern
my money.
She?HoWd she make out?
STRONG WORDS
"Have his words much power?"
"They lifted a weight from my
iBlnd."
%
*
K .III
I JlFew^
@ Little #
^SnulesO'
SCOTTY'S PLAN
Two Scotchmen had planned a hike
Into the country and had agreed to
I meet at a certain place at five In the
' morning. Only one of them owned an
alrfrm clock, but he finally hit on a
solution of rousing the other.
"Mac,'- he said, "when the clock
goes off I'll get up and ring ye on a
public telephone. But, be sure and
don't answer It, so I can get my
nickel buck."
MIGHT ADD SOMETHING
"
Director?Your play, sir, is too short
for the stage.
Playwright 'hopefully)?How long
Is your stage?
Why He Offered Hit Seat
'Twas not an act of chivalry".
Nor yet the fear of scorn;
He offered her his tramcar seat
To keep her oft his corn.
Getting It Right
Two American negro soldiers were
discussing musical Instruments.
"Yas," said one, "I'se gwine to get
me a eucallptis."
"A what?" Queried the otlu.v
"A eucallptis?dat's a musical instrument,
fool."
"Go on, nigger! You can't kid me?
dat's one of the books of the Bible."
Retreat for Men
Talkative Woman?It's a shame the
way we women slave for the men.
Home wouldn't be home without us.
Can any one think of any home without
a woman?
Man (In rear)?Yes, ma'am, the
Old Soldiers' Home.?Progressive
Grocer.
Two Utet
"I wish some cod liver oil."
-we now uuve BC* tnu vmitruea,
Bald the druggist "Is this for children?"
"Yes."
"Do yon wish to nse It as a medicine
or as a punishment V
ENVY
P?1
Envious Bug ? Oh, shucks, why
haven't I got a lot of arms so 1 can
be a great juggler like Mr. Spider?
Jealous
Bacauae ha waa plucky
Succaaaful waa ha;
But when hla frianda told It
Thaw left off tha "D."
Day of Variety
Grandma?People don't seem to
marry as young as they did when I
was a girl.
Grandflapper?No, old dear, but they
do It oftener.
Why He Gave Her Age
Eldest Sister?Don't you know better
than to go telling everybody how
much older I am than you are?
Little Brother (Indignantly)?I have
to, else people would think you were
my mother.
t
The Limit
Tve sent back your letters, your
gifts, your ring. Is there anything
else I can dor
"You might return my love."?Cornell
Widow.
Whafg a Hall For?
Irate Father?When you were In the
hall last night. I distinctly heard that
young man kiss you. Explain yourself.
Daughter?Why, daddy?It Isn't nice
to make a young man stand out on a
cold front porch.
Slavee
Aunt Rachel?When I was your age
we always kept our legs covered.
Ruby?Oh, styles will make one do
almost anything.
The Alarm Clock
Madge?Yes, father Is awful sore
at me.
Betty?Because yon stayed oot in
late?
"No, because I forgot 'to wake hlni
up when I came In."
The Ideal Match
"So they're engaged n( I Mat. It's an
Ideal match."
"Think so? ItowT
"He hat money and she know* (to*
to ?Dend It."
1. .. V ..J-.jj - f.A^.
VFTt?3 TPVON K- C
FARM
rootIKY
ARTIFICIAL CHICK
MUST BE CODDLED
Overcoming lack of vitality In the
artificially [ reared chicken is one of
the chief (problems of the modern
poultry producer in the opinion of
^rof. L., F. Payne, head of the department
of poultry husbandry at
the Kansas State Agricultural college.
"The artificial chicken," said Professor
Payne, "Is hatched artificially,
brooded artificially, supplied an artificial
ration, and latest scientific developments
have made It profitable to
supply this type of chicken with artificial
sunlight?light from quartz mercury
vapor lamps.
"The artificial chicken has little In
common with Its ancestors who were
hatched in small numbers under hens.
They fed on grain around the stack,
grasshoppers from field, and minerals
from the soil. They grew Ho be
strong, robust chickens, able to roost
in the top of a tree or id ine waguu
shed all winter and be none the worse
for exposure In the spring. They produced
a meager surplus for the market
basket and the dinner table, but
they did survive. ? Health and vigor
were their chief assets.
"The important thing in managing
this new chicken is to make its artificial
life as natural as possible,
recognize its shortcomings, and keep
the poultry house free from draft9
and dry."
The advantages of the artificial
chicken are that it lias a more rapid
rate of growth, loses(f the maternal instinct,
and is a heavier producer of
eggs, Professor Payne stated.
I
Natural Incubation Is
Most Satisfactory Plan
Natural incubation has proved to be
the most satisfactory method of hatching
goose eggs. Tiie first eggs that
are laid should be placed under domestic
hens for incubation. Large
Brahma and Cochin hens can Incubate
seven goose eggs at one time, while
hens of the American breeds will not
be able to cover more than four or
five, depending on the size of the hen
and the size of the eggs. Geese will
cover nine or more eggs It Is always
advisable to have a smaller number
under domestic hens and geese than
they can cover. The period of Incubation
for goose eggs is from 28 to 30
days. Geese are remarkably good sitters
and are very successful in hatching
their eggs. In order to successfully
incubate goose eggs, a certain
amount of moisture is required. In
some localities it is the custom during
dry weather, or when the nest is
located in a place that Is unusually
dry, to dampen the eggs every four
days by sprinkling them with water
warmed to a temperature of 100 degrees
Fahrenheit. It is generally con
sldered, however, that It Is better to
moisten the earth around the nest, or
If geese are used, to permit the goose
the privilege of a swimming pool. If
she has the opportunity of swimming,
she will carry some moisture to the
eggs In her feathers each time she
comes from the water.
Insure Development of
Goslings by Right Care
Hens are often given four to six
goose eggs to Incubate, but as the
eggs are large, the hen may not give
them enough turning. Turning them
by hand once or twice a day helps to
Insure the proper development of the
goslings. If the goose has her nest on
the damp ground, It Is not necessary
to add moisture to the eggs.
When goose eggs are hatched in an
Incubator, or In a nest that la dry,
moisture should be added. On the
seventh day sprinkle the eggs wl^h
water at about 100 degrees. During
the second week sprinkle the eggs
twice. At the start of the third week
they can be soaked In warm water for
a minute about every three days. During
the last three days, soak the eggs
for a half-minute to a minute every
day. Goose eggs usually take about
thirty days to hatch, but the time may
vary from twenty-eight to thirty-three
days.
White Diarrhea Cause
White diarrhea la transmitted
from the hen, which is a carrier of the
disease, through the egg to the chick.
Scientific Investigators tell us that
1 three testings of the flock may be necessary
to eliminate, or nearly eliminate,
the trouble. The fact that the
disease may have seemed to lie dormant
one year and then appeared
again may be due to two causes. New
birds may have become carriers. All
of the carriers may not have been
eliminated by the test.
Hens for Breeding
Hens that have gone through their
second laying season are usually used
for breeding purposes, and they are
considered the best. The reasons that
pullets are not used Is that the percentage
of eggs that hatch Is small
and that the chicks are small and
sometimes lack vitality. The size of
the chicks Is largely determined by
the size of the egg. The chances are
that you would not bo satisfied with
the results If yon use the pullets tor
breeders.
Ounce of Prevention
Ordinary colds In poultry will often
develop Into contagious roup unless
Immediate precautions are taken.
Mymptoius of cold Involve excretions
from nostrils end evns nnrt >nm?
wheeslng. ("old nmjr ba controlled by
removing drafts or dump conditions
In Him poultry bouse or by securing
belter physlcul conditions through
proper feeding end giving of tonic. A
good tonic constats of one part of
epsom sails and one part of sulphur
with twelve parts of dry mash, j
< . . . ... - ....
" Y- *, .
I BB i BHA BBBA IV II I
ijMriBr pWI i^f il In
/ ^^A~^r*ll B ^lvaBaaIBI
II "1^^/ \^^IIIA^
i?
SANITATION BEST
STOCK SAFEGUARD
Even tfiough the United States la
now tiie safest country in the world
in which to own live stock, the great
losses which are being caused by animal
diseases may be expected to continue
until stock owners and all those
interested in the production of live
stock are educated to the necessity of
careful sanitary measures. This is the
opinion of workers in animal pathology
and hygiene division of the college
of agriculture, University of Illinois.
Sanitation Is one of the best insurance
policies that a live-stock breeder
can use to protect his live stock
against disease, the animal pathologists
say. Proper sanitary measures
rigorously applied and carried out are
perhaps the best weapons known for
the control and eradication of contagious
and Infectious diseases of ani
mals. It is true that such measures
will not alone suffice. They would,
however, prevent the outbreak and dissemination
of many diseases and unthrifty
conditions, for it is well known
that most, if not all, disease-producing
organisms live in filth and Improperly
built, poorly ventilated and undralned
buildings, sheds and feeding lots.
Veterinary medicine is gradually
undergoing a change In the methods
used for combating disease. Formerly
It was the practice to consider as
more important the treatment of the
Individual animal. Today the tendency
is to turn more to the development
of methods whereby disease can
be prevented by sanitation.
Hog cholera, which was the scourge
of the hog Industry at one time and
made the racing of hogs more or less
of a gamble, may be prevented when
serum and virus, properly prepared,
are administered by well-trained and
experienced veterinarians.
The intestinal roundworm of the
hog, which threatened to make hog
raising unprofitable In many sections
of the 'United States, Is now being
effectively controlled by the use of
sanitary principles developed by veterinarians.
Where live stock men have followed
these principles a larger percentage
of the pigs farrowed are saved, there
are fewer unthrifty pigs and greater
gains are made with the same amount
of feed.
Alfalfa Pasture Likely
Cause of Stock Bloat
Alfalfa pasture is very likely to
cause bloat. In order to at least lessen
the chance of bloat, do not turn
stock In upon thejgfffalfa until It Is
thoroughly dry in the mornings, and
do not put them into It hungry. If
you have another pasture for them
to graze on in the mornings, it would
be much better. Or, when accustoming
them to It, feed them well on some
other dry feed and put them on the
alfalfa but a short time, gradually
lengthening the time which they are
allowed to stay each day.
If the case of bloat In the cow is not
eitreme, it may be sufficient to drive
the cow, or let her walk for water.
In some cases the following simple
treatment may be successful: A rope
of twisted straw is knotted with pine
tar or wagon grease or other unsavory
substance and is placed in the cow's
mouth as a bit, being secured by tying
behind the horns. The effort of the
animal to dislodge this brings the
mouth and throat into action which
stimulates the secretion of saliva In
swallowing, thus opening the esophagus
which permits the exit of the gas.
Proper Exercise Needed
to Prevent Constipation
After sows are "penned" for safety
and to become accustomed to their
new conditions of housing and feeding,
care should be taken to prevent
constipation which condition contributes
to excessive feverishness later.
This may be prevented if the sows are
properly exercised and some changes
made in the feeding. Where a number
of sows have been penned and, as is
frequently the case, do not have individual
space for exercise, the desired
results may be accomplished by turning
them together for a portion of the
day where they may pick over some
clover or alfalfa hay. For several
days before the expected date of far
row, tne grain reed snould gradually
be reduced to one-half the former
amount and a part of this should be
composed of such laxative feeds as
bran and linseed oil meal. Where the
sow Is restricted as In penning her
up. she has less need for a full ration.
The bran and linseed oil meal and alfalfa
or clover hay serve to regulate
the bowels to the right condition.
Live Stock Notes
'i
Pure-bred live stock scrub treatment
Is a poor Investment.
Ability to turn low-priced feed Into
enough high-priced meat to show a
profit, spells success for the stockman,
r
.1 - -
A sow should get no feed for about
twenty-four hours after farrowing?
but give her all the lukewarm water
that her feverlshneas craves.
When all Is said and done, It will
be found that nothing Is going to take
the place of common-sense management
of the farm Itself?and In that
management live stock,Including hogs,
should have a very prominent place.
?
The sheep tick Is a black, wingless
fly which subsists on blood which It i
sucks from the sheep. In piercing
'lie skin It causes more or less Irritation
and the sheep with many ticks In
It suffera and loses in weight and
strength.
A TTllk
HVil
fLook-for
I the Cross
I and Circle
I Printed in Red on Every Package of
I Instead of Kalsomine
H Because only genuine Alabaitme will give y^u thov v.lt c-!^u J
colon, which add so much to the beauty ot ycui horr.e. H
Good decocaton use AUhastine. Nearly all sto:-< srli * .
Ask jrom dealer or decorator to show you iam| ]f< 6-<i n-,.*1?
Opaline Process?the newe* and most beauuiul octriod <5
The Alabastine Company
Grand Rapid*. Mich. ' I
Jessie's Joy Ride /nfluencTTj
Freddie and Jessie had been play- 1 A r i,:.. m
tog one of those old-fashioned games trically i;;
with forfeits, and the girl had been the i 1 I
ordered to give the young man ten j of n.
kisses. | lifted tl?"Let's
see," said Jessie, pausing for j four
breath, "that's seven. Isn't It?" have in
"Only six," corrected Freddie. He sunui*... ; .
"Seven, I think." fluen<v .
"No, six." i and deep " ''
"Seven!"
"Six!" rom^M
"Look here," said the girl, wearily, "
"sooner than have any argument, we hoMd rem?jv ,?
had better start all over again. out adrertlf;n?', mW
To Havo a Clear, Sweet Skin w .
Touch pimples, redness, roughness ca(," V
or itching, If any, with Cutlcura Oint- 10 ,'1,'CIrl'll!
ment, then bathe with Cutlcura Soap "
an/piiot water. Rinse, dry gently and ? er ('"umr>' '"j tt.tvfl
dust on a little Cutlcura Talcum to n
leave a fascinating fragrance on skin. an , P,,r "'I'MisiB
Everywhere 25c each.?Advertisement 8 e( r'11 1 '
wj ? m. Wriffht's Ind.an
Helpmate indlgesi.uB, I
"Daddy, I'm In love with a work- txUi'boi'to rn'reui't"*
lng girl." "Fine, my boy. Can she
support you?" Abnormal length cflH
of the leg. from the hfl
Living by one's wits has been rec- Is characteristic cf
vnmended as an antlfat remedy. race of Australia.
V
1
What makes theH
value in !
General Motor;?
Cars? I
1 SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH Atf)H
TEST. Centering in the largest automot* I
laboratories and proving ground in the uorli I
2 COMBINED PURCHASING!
POWER OF MANY COMPANIES I
Insuring the best materials at the lowest pr&
3 VOLUME PRODUCTION.^
120,000 skilled workers made more tha
835,000 Qeneral Motors passenger cars m
trucks in 1925.
4 QUALITY BODY WORK
Fisher Body Corporation is a part of I
Motors.
5 WORLD-WIDE MARKETS
Sales and service in 144 countries.
6 FAIR PRICE POLICY. StaM I
prices, with General Motors' savings fx"54? I
on to the buyer. H
7 GENERAL MOTORS ACCEP<
TANCE CORPORATION. A
company owned by Qeneral Motors, ando* I
surtng sound terms and low rates to tv# I
purchasers.
All these factors mean that General
Motors has every facility and ever? in*
centive for maintaining quality &
the product and value for the price*
GENE RAjl
MOTORS!
CHEVROLET ' PONTLAC ' BL'lCK
OLDSMOBILE - OAKLAND
CADILLAC ' GMC TRUCKS
"A. car far every pwrM and purpose
a < 4 \ -i; . ' . > v.*
*