February 1991
PAGE 17 Q-Notes
FEBRUARY
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FrI., 22tIi
OuEEN of FIeARTS
CllEAp TrAcIe
Boom Boom LaTour
BRinANy Gwen
Gypsy Starr
VeronIca Lee
TiffANy Storm
SaBIe CBaneI
KASEy KiNq
Miss AtIantIc Coast
PAqEANT
OuEEN Of Hearts
KASEy KiNq
Gypsy Starr
ALasBa PIharrows
Boom Boom LaTour
VERONicA Lee
BeneHt foR
Bill LezeI
All Star Cast
Sat., 25tIi TInaTerreU
SasIia Tate
LiNclA LocWear
Oleen's
1831 South Boulevard, Charlotte, N.C.
(704) 373-9604
Hey, Helen! j
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Si' 1
■-/S?
Hey, Helen:
My roommate leaves the seat of the toilet
down when he pees. I get so tired of going in
the bathroom and bas ing to clean the seat
every time I have to use it. How do I solve
this problem?
Pissed Off
Dear PO'd:
Sounds as if he isn't houseliroken or needs
to be re-potty-trained. Actually, it's laziness
and nasty. Yes. 1 said nasty. No one but no
one likes sitting on a toilet seat that's all wet.
If you really want to get him back, take the
seat off and let him sit on cold jx>rcelain for
a change.
Helen
Hey, Helen:
I've met someone recently who really
likes me. The problem is that I only want to
I)e friends. How do I tell them?
Friend
Dear Friend:
In a case such as this, it's best to lie up
front. Tell that person that you don't want to
date them, but would still like to be friends
and xily friends. As Icaig as a jierson is above
board, then no one can get hurt. Just make
sure that you don't cross the line and mislead
them. Please, whatever you do. don't pull
that BS about lovini^’ them and Ixsing in love.
It's old and a line. One that caiuses hurt and
hard feelings. Always use like unless you're
in love. Tlie wcxd love gets abused more than
any other word in the English language.
Helen
Hey, Helen:
I always seem to get involved tixi quickly
with the }x;rson 1 am seeing at any given
time. Often this leads me to tell the person 1
am seeing of my true feelings too fast. As
you might expect, this nsually has a chilling
effect on the relationship. My question is:
How do I know when is the right time to
express my feelings without putting the
brakes on everything?
Bad Timing
Dear Bad Timing:
My dear, there is no way I can tell you
when to tell someone you care. There is no
wrong time. Saying 1 like you can be some
thing as simple as sending a thank you note
for a wonderful evening or a daisy. Do NOT
send roses. The rose indicates love, so make
sure to send something else or they will get
the wrong impression. Feel the person out.
You know you don't have to say tliat you like
a {lerson.
They'll know by the little things. Don't
scare them away by getting heavy. Keep
everything light. Develop a friend before a
lover. Don't give too much too soon. Everyone
likes mystery and a bit of a challenge. No one
likes an easy piece, especially these days.
Helen
Hey, Helen:
I am in a new relationship with someone
where we are in the great position of being
accepted fully by each other's family. Un
fortunately, this has led to a major skinnish.
My parents wanted us to come to their house
on Christmas and his parents wanted us to
come to theirs. How do we decide where to
go on holidays and do it in a way that is fair
to everyone involved?
SKB
Dear SKB:
It's wonderful that you have the relation
ship with both families that allows you to
visit both during hohdays. I think that says a
lot alx)ut you, your lover and your families.
My suggestion is, if at all possible, .spend the
holidays with both. Half a day at one, then
half a day at the other. That always works
well. Remember, too, to save some "special"
time for the two of you alone.
If that's not possible, then spend
Thanksgiving at one house and explain to
them that Christmas Day will be spent with
the other in-laws. Let them know and give
them a time when you can conx; either before
or after Christmas to exchange gifts. On
Mom's and Dad's Days, make sure you see
both so no hard feelings will dampen the day.
If you find you camun be with one family or
the other, make a special showing of concern
by sending flowers to Mom and ALWAYS
call with apologies.
Helen
Hey, Helen:
I'm 36 years old and have been "out" for
19 years and am very feminine. Lately (for
the last three years) I've reached a stage of
frustration and disillusion with gay life. There
are so many phony women out there it's
unreal. I'm looking for someone who's not
very feminine but sincere and loving, yet not
afraid to lie romantic. I've worked hard and
have some nice things. My car is paid for and
1 did this with no help. It seems I'\’e having a
hard time finding someone who isn't kxiking
at my surroundings and is looking to build
something for themselves and their mate. I
want a fiennanent commitment. I don't want
to be alone but I refuse to settle for a half-
baked relationship. 1 want a partnership for
life. Can you give me some advice?
Sincere
Dear Sincere:
From your picture, you should have no
problem finding that special person. 1 can
understand your frustration, so I suggest
this; if there are any "no so fern" women out
there who want a feminine woman and know'
how to treat her and want a stable, long-
lasting relationship, please write to Sincere
in care of me at tlie paper. I'll make sure she
gets the letters and perhaps you can invite her
to the house for tea when the two of you get
.settled. Sincere, 1 hope you meet the love of
your life in 1991. Best of luck.
Helen
Hey, Helen:
1 ilon't understand people who write one
thing in an ad and turn out really not to want
what they advertise or are unsure of what
they really want. Why even advertise?
Disappointed
Dear Disappointed:
A lot of people don't mean to lie in.sincere.
Sometimes they are a bit unrealistic alxiut
what they are hxiking for. People are not
without flaws. Unfortunately, or perhaps
fortunately, because flaws are what lends
character to a person, no one can be all that
we seek. EVERY ONE of us needs to reahze
that a jierson who can make us happy and
content for the rest of our lives or at least a
long time may not even have the chance
simply liecause we hxiked at the physical
side. Get to know the person underneath.
When we all grow old and grey, the only
thing that matters is the love of the person
who has shared the ups and downs. Persons
who look for beauty need to look to the heart
and the ability of a person who is able to give
freely of their love (not bodies) and accept
you with your flaws also. Remember, no one
is perfect, so look beyond and find the wonder
of true love. Be sincere and tell the person up
front you're not interested in being a one
night nor one week stand. You're looking for
a Ufe mate. I'm sure you'll find them.
Good luck.
Helen
If you don't think you can love yoursefbecause you're gay,
come find out what real Love is about:
MCC Charlotte — where the healing power of Jesus Christ is preached
4037 E. Independence Blvd, Suite 726 563-5810